Worried

I'm worried about my New Year's party. I invited about 40 people, but so far only 8 have confirmed their attendance.

I'm getting tired of Vancouver's non-commital culture. Sometimes I wonder whether my friendships are real or whether they're just friendships of convenience...

A Meal And A Birthday

Two note-worthy events tonight:

1- I volunteered at Out of the Cold, a weekly meal a baptist church in the east end of the city provides for the homeless. As I helped prepare the meal and saw the guests come inside the dining hall, my heart broke. Some of the men and women coming in were likely in their mid-30's, yet they looked like they were in their 50's. The "elements" - the rain, snow, and wind - has a way of aging us, unless 'protected'. I am so lucky to live in a warm apartment, never having to worry where my next meal comes from. Lord, what did I do to deserve growing up in a wealthy family?

On an aside .. I wonder if God is calling me to serve the disadvantaged .. am I able to give up the "riches" I have and embrace a simple life for the sake of the kingdom? Is this in part what Jesus talks about in the Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5:3-11)?

2- Later on, around 8:30pm, I went to visit Connie. It was her birthday today, and she had a small gathering. It was small and intimate, a good thing, becuase her bachelor suite is tiny, but it was good to get together with some friends (Claudia, Terri, Brett) and meet some new ones. Below is a picture we took towards the end of the night:

From left to right: Terri, Juan, Benjamin, Sanjit, Connie, Lucia, Claudia, & Cub

Christmas (In Pijamas)

After waking up at around 9:30 in the morning, I went upstairs in my pj's to see what was going on, and I found mom cooking. Shortly afterwards, my nephew Ralph and my niece Tanis came up, also in their pj's, prompting a pijama breakfast-party:
















From left to right: Ralph, Tanis, & Cub

Mom made such a great breakfast: belgian waffles with a french vanilla sauce (who needs syrup when you've got french vanilla!). Eating such an amazing breakfast reminded me of my childhood. There was a period of time when mom made waffles for breakfast every single day! I find that incredible...

We spent the rest of the day with the family, eating, drinking mate, more eating, and just generally being lazy. Actually, we took a family picture too, but I posted it yesterday already (I'm writing this on January 3rd, backdating it as my memory serves).

During picture-taking, my sis managed to explode with anger at one of her kids who was annoying her. Not good. I've also been sensing a tension within the family from various angles: between my brother and my sister (and their spouses), between mom and my sis, beween dad and some of the kids, between my sis and her son Ralph, between mom and me, and between my sis and me.

A typical Christmas indeed! Gotta get me some boxing gloves for next Christmas....

A Family Christmas

After a crazy day yesterday (lunch with James, shopping, a quick get-together with Cindy, and packing for my 2-day trip to Abbotsford), I drove to Abbotsford today at around 5pm. I arrived at my parents' church at 6:10pm, about 20 minutes before the family Christmas service began. The service was fine, with lots of music, as is the tradition in their church. My nephews and nieces were very involved in the program, which was great to see.

After church we went to my parents' home and continued the tradition there: dinner, openening of presents, and dessert. We also took a family picture:
















From left to right: Ted, Karin, Cub, Dylan, Mom, Neal, Natasha, Dad, Priscila, Tanis, Heinz, Terence, Melanie, Ralph, and Derek.

At around 10:45, after all the presents were opened and gift wrapping-paper covered the living-room carpet, I took off to the Benedictine Monastery in Mission, for midnight mass. It was a long and beautiful mass, almost 2 hours. I arrived back at my parents' at around 2am.

10:21pm

I finally finished and mailed my final assignment of the semester: the notebook on I. Corinthians. It ended up being a 50+ page-notebook. I mailed it from the 7/11 post-office on Alma. It was stampted with today's date at 10:21pm - 39 minutes before the post office closed. Man, I had so much time left over, I coulda stopped somewhere for a quick drink...!

I like I. Corinthians .. even though it pulls into so many seemingly contradicting directions. Now if I only had an idea what Saint Paul tries to say in it ... hahaha!!!

I'm glad it's all done. Now I can finally focus on Christmas.

Speaking of Christmas, I dread tomorrow: it's going to be shopping-hell. I have yet to buy a present, and the malls will be full.

Christmas Potluck Dinner

Tonight we had a Christmas potluck dinner with my Bible Study group. We met at Dan's place, each of us with a dish to share. It was a simple but beautiful evening. These kind of evenings, characterized by friends, food, and fun, are at the heart of the Christian life: sharing joys and sorrows in community and fellowship with our brothers and sisters in the faith.

Everyone in our group - all 11 people - came. We also invited two guests, so 13 came in total.

2nd Annual Dopplebock

After spending the morning working on my notebook for I. Corinthians, and the afternoon with my nephew Ralph who came over for a day, I capped off the day with an evening with the boys: the 2nd annual "Dobbelbock" beer night.

Six of us - Rudy, Mike, Eric, Paul, Trevor, and Mike's friend Ashley - got together and partook of the annual Dopplebock beer, a Christmas-release by Granville Island Brewing. The Dopplebock is a double strength beer originally brewed by monks to help sustain them through the fasting of lent. As it says on the bottles: "Now that is worship!" ;)

't was a good evening.

Exegesis Paper

Today I handed in my 2nd-to-last assignment for the semester: an exegesis paper on I. Corinthians 9:1-14. Having preached on this passge a few days ago, it was not that difficult to put this paper together, but it was still a good process to go through .. mulling over this passage one last time.

In the paper I included aspects of the historical and literary context; form, structure, and movement; then a detailed analysis (9:1-3 --> authority), (9:4-12a, 13-14 --> rights), (9:12b --> relinquishment), before moving on to a synthesis and application for today.

Now .. all I have left to do for next Friday is a massive "notebook" on I. Corinthians.

A Ministry Of Freedom

Today I preached in my preaching class again. It was my last sermon of this semester - thank God! I preached on I. Corinthians 9:1-14, a tough passage in my estimation.

Sandwiched between chapters 8 and 10, two chapters about "Christian restraint" --> giving up our freedoms (rights) for the sake of our brother and/or sister, chapter 9 talks about how Saint Paul used his "rights." Not only was he an apostle, he was the apostle who brought the gospel to the Corinthians, yet he gave up his "right" to be financially and materially supported by the church, because he thought doing otherwise would prove an obstacle or hindrance the gospel.

To be sure, Saint Paul wasn't advocating that all Christians in ministry deny support from their churches, but in his situation he felt it was the best thing to do. I wonder what it would look like if some Christian ministers of the West would give up their rights. Christianity has become a religion of the rich, and contrast this with the poverty that Jesus took on when he became a helpless babe in a manger, compare the weakness and humility he displayed at the cross, compare this with the compassion he had for the poor and neglected, and I begin to wonder whether the church of the West isn't missing the point of the gospel to a great extent.

Regardless, it was a good and painful experience to preach to my classmates. I have a whole new perspective on preaching. I have a whole new respect for preachers. Examining my own life as I prepared the sermon was horrible. Doing so on a weekly basis would be absolutely terrifying. Preaching is an unbelievable responsibility not to be taken for granted, and the preachers that serve us week in and week out deserve not only our deepest respect and admiration, but our regular and heartfelt prayers, so that they continue to live - as well as preach - the gospel of grace in Christ.

$404

Today I deposited $404 in change (twoonies, loonies, quarters, nickels, dimes, and yes, even pennies!) into my bank account. Not sure what I'm gonna do with it yet.

It pays to have a piggybank!

It Just Dawned On Me

The women that like me are usually pessimists: down, depressed, bad attitudes, the world's going to hell in a hand-basket, the works. The women that I'm most attracted to are optimists: happy, friendly, fun, and with kick-ass smiles.

That's the problem. I finally figured it out. The ones that like me I can't deal with. The ones I like can't deal with me.

Now for solutions, here are the options:
1- remain single
2 - marry someone who manages to see the bad in just about everything
3 - marry a fun-loving sweetie (who am I kidding .. a hottie) who knows how to smile

I think I'm going to remain single. #3 ain't gonna happen, #2 would be like being buried alive, and #1 .. well, I'm used to it and growing to be content in it. I think I could grow to love it.

Problem solved.

Chau Stefan!

This afternoon was our last mate session with Stefan. He's finishing his student career and heading back to the promised land - Paraguay - to do ministry there. It was so good to get to know him over the past year. I'm getting a little worn down of all the good people walking in and out of my life.

Here's to more stability in my life: hip hp, horray! hip hip, horray! hip hip, horray!

Here are a few pics we took this afternoon:

The mate club, from left to right: Cub, Stefan, James, and Petro

Stefan and Viola

Connie, Cub, and James

Faith For The Flood: Take 2

Well, it's over. What a relief. I preached at 7:30 this morning.

I got up at 5am, and rehearsed my sermon a few times before going to church. I arrived there at 7:15. To my surprise, Neil, the person leading the service had not arrived yet. He arrived at about 7:24, 6 minutes before the service started.

Arriving just in time for the service may suit him fine, but it made things miserable for me. I needed help in finding the right size cassock and surplice, and given the time, we didn't have the time to look, so he just gave me a surplice and said "Here, wear this, this will fit ya." I put it on and said "This seems a bit big." His response, "Nah, you look fine."

We prayed, and out we went. Problem is, on our way out, one of the ladies that helps with the service said "Cub, that's too big for you." Neil turned to her and said "Ah he's fine. It's too late to change now." Inside I felt like cursing (actually, I did). I felt like an idiot, and the service hadn't even started yet. The time was 7:31.

Anyways, onto the sermon. After we recited the Apostles' Creed, I walked up to the pulpit, feeling totally self-conscious. 'Do I look like a woman in this dress?' I thought. I replied to myself: 'Maybe this dress makes me look more like an angel than a woman. That would be good, very good.'

Once I arrived at the pulpit I looked up to the crowd. No one was laughing. Good. Apparently the surplice wasn't SO big that everyone noticed I was swimming in it.

I began with the introduction I'd prepared, reading my script (I'd memorized much of what I was going to talk about, but I thought it wise to make a manuscript and take it up to the pulpit). Halfway into my second sentence, I realized that the congregation was still standing.

'WHAT? Why the he*%$* are they still standing?', I though to myself. Good thing no panic button was available, because had there been one, I'd surely have pressed it. But deep inside, about 1000 panic buttons were going off.

I mumbled my way out of the script, and began praying. Someone told me afterwards that I raced through the prayer like a racehorse.

After the prayer, I focused on the task at hand: Genesis 6:9-9:29. The sermon was on God's character in the story of the flood. God's character is trustworthy on account of his righteousness, graciousness, and faithfulness. Nevermind Noah and the flood. I was wishing God would send another flood to put us all out of our mysery....

The rest of the sermon, however, went very well. Praise God!

After the sermon a middle-aged woman came up to me and said "Hi Cub, my name is something-something, and I usually give feedback to the interns that preach here. May I give you some feedback on your sermon?"

I cringed. Do I say yes or no? I said yes.

She continued: "Your sermon was great [Cub smiles with suspicion]. The content was great [Cub senses a "but.." coming up], I was able to follow you all the way, the structure and logic made perfect sense. You're a very organized thinker, good job. BUT .." she said, "two things":

"1- I didn't understand your cross-reference to the gospel of Luke. [Ouch]. You didn't need to refer to the New Testament to argue for God's trustworthy character. You were doing just fine; and

2- What happened at the beginning? You had 'I'm very very nervous' written all across your forehead. Was evertything ok?", she asked.

I said yes, everything's ok. I thought about getting into the surplice story with her, but decided to spare Neil the embarrassement.

A few of my friends also came to hear me, which I was very greatful for. It meant a lot to have some familiar faces smiling at me while I was preaching. One of them, Loretta, said afterwards: "Great sermon Cub. Where did you buy that dress?" Nice one. Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.

Another one, Kira, took this picture:

I think the worst is over. Now that I've done it once, the next time I preach [that is, if I get asked to preach again] it won't be such a huge ordeal. For next time though, I'll see if I can get a better outfit. ;)

Ready To Go

Tomorrow I'm preaching at my church. I'm ready to go.

Wine Club .. "Beer Night"

I'm a part of a wine club. Every 2nd month about 10 of us get together for dinner & wine at our friend Linda's place (she cooks marvellous meals). A few of us usually bring a bottle of wine (Linda pretty much tells us what to bring), and then we taste the different the wines, rate them according to various categories (body, aroma, finish, etc...). It's pretty fun.

Tonight, however, we had a change of pace. We substituted wine for .. well, beer. Here are 6 of the 10 beers we tried (and their approximate rankings). The reason I'm only listing 6 is that I don't remember the names of the other beers we tried (they weren't that good anyways, otheriwse they'd have made the top 6!):

1. St. Ambrose (Montreal)
2. Sleemans Cream Ale (Montreal?)
3. Singha (Thailand)
4. Edelweiss Hefeweizen (Germany)
5. Groeltsch (Holland?)
6. Bowen Island (can't remember which type; Bowen Island, BC)

Note:
* Beer & chilli make a brilliant combination. Come to think of it, so do beer & peanuts or chips. ;)
* Avoid, at all costs, girly beers like "raspberry-flavoured" beer. They are an abmoniation.

The Heavens Declared..

...(yet again) the glory of the Lord yesterday. Here's proof:

Delight And Despair

I am full of both, delight and despair.

I just found out a few minutes ago (it's 6am right now) that classes are cancelled. This, after having worked all (I'm tempted to insert swearword here) night on the sermon for today. UBC and Regent are both without power, because of the snowstorm.

I'm trying to discern how to react to the school closure: do I laugh or do I cry? Maybe both? If I laugh, is it because of joy or because of delirious disappointment? If I cry, would I shed tears of happiness or tears of anger?

The answer is "Yes!"

On the one hand, I'm delighted, because first of all, I'm bloody tired of working on this stupid sermon, and I desperately need a break. I can now go to sleep - and do so in peace - knowing that I worked hard throughout the weekend. I can also rejoice at the knowledge that when I wake up, I can put on some warm clothes and go out for a walk in the snow. I love the snow.

On the other hand, I'm despairing, because I know that had I preached this morning, it would have been an utter failure, an utter nightmare. After all the work I've done, I have - at best - a couple nice quotes, and a couple interesting tidbits. I still have no idea what I'm trying to say, and I still have absolutely no idea how to apply this passage (I. Cor 9) to the church without sounding absolutely self-righteous.

God, help me! Lord, have mercy!

This proves that, yet again, I'm full of pride, full of myself. I care too much about what others think about me. I'm more concerned about coming across as "reasonable" than preaching the word of God. (How Canadian!!!).

Well, I'm going to bed. I have a feeling this class will be rescheduled around the mid-December timeframe. I'll take a few days' break from it all, and then re-engage mid-week.

Next Sunday I'm preaching at church. That sermon's done, ready to go. I just need to practise it a few times.

I'm Tired Of This

I feel like cracking my head open against the wall.

I've put over 50 hours of work into sermon prep .. and I'm getting NOWHERE.

I can't think. I can't write. I can't stand it.

Lord have mercy!

Christ have mercy!

Lord have mercy!

How Cruel!

Of all the days that it could have snowed, it snowed today! How cruel!

I'm preparing a sermon God, why'd you have to let it snow today!

Like there aren't already enough other temptations keeping me away from preparing, now I have to deal with snow too!!!

Everytime I look out the window I'm distracted by the white stuff gently filling the air.

Woe is me...!!!

Sermon Prep

This Monday I'm preaching on I. Corinthians 9:1-14. I've exegeted this passage until kingdom come .. and think I know what it says .. but now comes the hard work of putting it together into a sermon.

I think I'm becoming more and more a fan of short homilies, rather than long sermons. For one, they're less work :D, but also, I think one should be able to say everything there's to say about a passage in 10 minutes.

I rarely listen to a sermon unhindered for 20 minutes. There's usually a 5-minute "gap" in there somewhere, where I'm interrupted by thining about something else: the school projects I'm working on (or have yet to work on), the soccer game I heard about, the hottie sitting in front of me (shame on her for wearing spaghetti straps to church), the phonecall I have to make, the guy with the mop on his head, the bulletin announcements, the weather, and on the list goes....

Here's to 10-minute homilies!

Interview

Today in the evening service I was interviewed about my internship experience at my church. For the first time in a long time I didn't feel nervous speaking in public. I think I actually did very well.

I think this is because I have to speak a fair bit in my preaching class. We'll see how my next sermon goes on the 27th....

37

Yep .. I'm 37 now.

Spent the afternoon and evening at my parent's place. Had a good time eating a very good dinner prepared by mom, and afterwards we sat around in the family room and conversed.

I also had the usual argument I have with mom about me not wanting any presents and her getting me more than I need. Can't wait until Christmas: we get to argue about this all over again.

I'm concerned for my newphew Ralph. He's such a kind soul, yet he feels utterly unloved.

I'm also concerned about my niece Tanis. I think she feels neglected too, and she misses her friends from South America.

Moderne Burger

Yesterday Alicia called me and invited to take me out for dinner, in "honour of your birthday". Well, today we did it.

She came over mid-afternoon, and we studied for awhile before heading out to Moderne Burger (W. Brodway almost MacDonald) for a burger and fries around 7pm.

I don't know. Lately I haven't enjoyed my time with her. She's so cynical .. even angry .. seems to me that studies and real life are jading her. But then I keep thinking .. I was there once too: I've certainly had my moments of cynicism, and I'm sure I'll have them again. It just seems that she's always in a bad mood.

Mind you, now that I think of it, my friend Cindy's always in a bad mood too.

In fact, I don't think I'm being accurate by saying "bad mood". They're downright bitter, angry, resentful, and depressed. And my gosh .. do they EVER complain. If it's not the weather, it's their studies .. or their friends .. or their profs .. or their work boss .. or their churches .. or .. whatever. It's unreal.

Is this a woman-thing? Because none of my guy-friends are this way. They "suck it up" and move on. No use blaming the world for our problems.

Gimme The Bombilla!

Today I had mate for the first time in almost a month. My throat's still raspy though.

It was good to see James and Stefan. We've become quite good friends this semester. Too bad Stefan's leaving at the end of the semester .. going back to Paraguay.

Good people keep coming into my life .. only to walk out a few years later.

Sometimes being a pilgrim sucks.

The Well Is Dry

In reference to this post, I finally met her again today, after wondering how our second encounter would pan out. The encounter was short. Here's how it went:

Cub: (Sees woman at the well, and walks towards her): Hi, how are you!
Woman at the Well (WAW): Oh hi Cub, I'm well, thank you. And you?
Cub: I'm well too, thanks.
WAW: How was your weekend?
Cub: It was good. I spent most of it studying. Yesterday I went to church, and afterwards I spent some time with my brother and sister-in-law.
WAW: Oh that's great!
Cub: What about you WAW, how was your weekend? What did you do?
WAW: Oh my weekend was busy too. I went house-shopping with my fiancee...

As she continues talking about her weekend, Cub looks at her fingers and notices that she's NOT wearing an engagement ring (how could I've known she's engaged? What a waste of energy thinking about her the past few weeks). She talks for about 2 minutes about how expensive houses are in Vancouver. After she finishes talking, Cub continues...

Cub: Oh wow, I didn't know you're looking for a ... house.

Cub then talks for a few minutes about, you know, useless stuff like "housing markets", "housing prices", "renting vs buying", and "buying an apartment vs a house" .. and all the other crap that goes along with this type of conversation.

As one of my professors would probably say: "Onward and upward we go." Of course, he usually says it in relation to spiritual-life battles, but I will use it here in a different way:

So, onward and upward I go .. she wasn't that hot anyways ....

No Birthday Party

I've decided not to have a birthday party this year (again). I'm just too busy with my studies, and having one party with friends and another with family is just too much. It will take up the whole weekend, plus all the planning and all the cleanup.

Instead, I'm going to have two parties in December. :D One party will be a "Christmas for the family-less" - for those friends of mine in Vancouver who don't have a family here, and a "New Year's" party, like I did last year. That should suffice....

Who is Jesus To Me?

Who is Jesus to me?

Jesus is the Word made flesh.

Jesus is the Bread of Life.

Jesus is the Victim offered for our sins on the cross.

Jesus is the sacrifice offered at holy Mass for the sins of the world and for mine.

Jesus is the Word to be spoken.

Jesus is the truth to be told.

Jesus is the way to be walked.

Jesus is the light to be lit.

Jesus is the life to be lived.

Jesus is the love to be loved.

Jesu sis the joy to be shared.

Jesus is the peace to be given.

Jesus is the hungry to be fed.

Jesus is the thirsty to be satiated.

Jesus is the naked to be clothed.

Jesus is the homeless to be taken in.

Jesus is the sick to be healed.

Jesus is the lonely to be loved.

Jesus is the unwanted to be wanted.

Jesus is the leper to wash His wounds.

Jesus is the beggar to give Him a smile.

Jesus is the drunkard to listen to Him.

Jesus is the mentally ill to protect Him.

Jesus is the little one to embrace Him.

Jesus is the blind to lead Him.

Jesus is the dumb to speak for Him.

Jesus is the crippled to walk with Him.

Jesus is the drug addict to befriend Him.

Jesus is the prostitute to remove from danger and befriend Her.

Jesus is the prisoner to be visited.

Jesus is the old to be served.

To me: Jesus is my God.

Jesus is my spouse.

Jesus is my life.

Jesus is my only love.

Jesus is my all in all.

Jesus is my everything.

JESUS, I love with my whole heart, with my whole being. I have given Him all, even my sins, and He has espoused me to Himself in all tenderness and love.

_____

A Poem by Mother Teresa.

Source: No Greater Love, by Mother Teresa. New World Library, Novato, California, 2001. (Originally published as The Mother Teresa Reader, A Life For God, Servant Publications, 1995).

Rain, Books And Omelettes

Did it ever rain today .. my gosh. Well, we had great weather throughout September and October. It was bound to start raining...

Today at 10am I went to a bookstore and bought myself a book by Mother Teresa: No Greater Love. I've always wanted to read something written by her, so I look foward to finally doing it.

At 11am I met up with Alicia. We went for brunch at Paul's Place on Granville & 7th: great omelettes, but I didn't try their coffee. Everytime I do I end up disappointed..

Afterwards we went to my place and studied.

At 2pm I left for Abbotsford to meet with family. Alicia stayed at my place to study.

I returned home at midnight.

7 Reasons To Be Anglican

Today at lunch Dr. J. I. Packer gave a talk about why he's a "cradle to grave" Anglican. He was born into the Anglican tradition, and today he shared why he remained in it, and why he plans to always remain in it. Here are the 7 reasons he spoke about (I noticed that he wrote about them in a previous article, so to help me summarize them I quoted a few lines from the article. In brackets, I put my own reaction / opinion / response to his "stance"):

Anglicanism "as a fact", is:

1 - Catholic: a Christianity that neither adds nor subtracts from Christ; maintaining all of Christ's Christianity and teaching it - no "distortion or diminution." (Amen! The goal of catholicity [universality] - to believe that which all Christians, in all places, and at all times have agreed upon - is a good goal indeed, and it has been a blessing to me as I've grown in my faith. It is a travesty that the church of the West has deviated from it. Lord, have mercy on us!)

2 - Biblical: Scripture is authoritative, sufficient unto salvation, the standard/rule of faith and life, and internally consistent. "The Lord's people should soak themselves in Scripture as the means to their spiritual health". (Amen! A question that remains for me is: if tradition is defined as the "the Holy Spirit in history," what role does it have in nurturing spiritual health?)

3 - Evangelical/Pastoral: Ongoing evangelism, rather than "big tent" evangelism. This implies "week by week" preaching of the good news, rather than a "spasm," in which there are a few days of very intense evangelistic efforts and then a slacking off. (Agreed. Conversion is therefore a life-long process and the confession of "Jesus as Lord/Saviour" is one step within that process).

4 - Liturgical: We ought to agree in advance on the words we are going to use in worship. This, in order to speak to God more "reverently, pointedly, unanimously, and economically". Furthermore, worship and prayer centres around the following: sin detected, grace poclaimed, faith expressed (thanksgiving and living it out). Of course, full freedom in private prayer (and some aspects of common-life) is the norm. (Amen - this has been a key aspect in my journey towards Anglicanism. At every service, visitors will hear the gospel preached through 5 different means: in the singing, in the liturgy, in the reading of Scripture, in the sermon, and in the Eucharist).

5 - Rational: Any and all questions can be raised, with full respect to the questioner. This respects the image of God in all people. "We do not use the big stick.." Rather, in faith and hope, through the discipline of debate and discussion, we trust that "God in his mercy brings us to a common mind." (Amen! It seems to me that this is the good and proper reponse to denominationalism. We ought to be able to ask one another tough questions, without parting ways in the process. Truth always vindicates itself. Light always exposes and overcomes the dark).

6 - Episcopal: The historic episcopate rightly serves to make churchly continuity visible. The role of the bishop is the same as the role of the minister, and it is two-fold: to provide pastoral care, and to guard the truth. Therefore, just as ministers shepherd their parish, the bishop shepherds his ministers. And just as the minister guards his people from lies, so too the bishop ensures that his ministers are living and speaking in truth. (I'm on board here too. However, the current state of affairs in the Canadian, American, and the Church of England is nothing short of tragic. Bishops have become "maintainers of structures", and that at the cost of orthodoxy and unity in the gospel. Schism now seems virtually inevitable).

7 - National: The aim of the people of God is to look at their culture and affirm that which already 'aims heavenward', and help re-direct that which does not. Full participation, therefore, in all facets of society, is of paramount importance. The aim, finally, is to Chrsitianize the culture: infuse it with love, righteousness, grace, and forgiveness. (This is a tough one, becaue it clashes with my ana-baptist roots. I agree with affirming everything in culture that evidences God's grace at work [economics, politics, and the arts, for example], and I also agree with re-directing the grace-less towards grace, but I have reservations about how this is achieved, and to what extent. One example [among many] of my concerns is regarding the issue of pacifism. What would involvement in culture look like alongside a pacifist stance?)

8 - Reformational: This is a 'bonus' point, because it wasn't included in today's talk. It is, however, included in the article. The central theological points are "sovereign grace, original sin, justificatoin by faith and power of faith, whcih brings repentance out of the heart and transforms the life". The church, on the other hand, is conceived of as a "fellowsihp of believers out of whose common life comes the structure of ministers." Out of this structure come the sacraments of Baptism and Eucharist. (I agree theologically, but ecclesiastically I'm not yet fully on board. I think the Catholic Church is on sounder footing).

So, those are Packer's reasons for being Anglican, and my brief responses. I agree wholeheartedly with the catholic, bibilical, evangelical/pastoral, liturgical, rational, and episcopal aspects. In terms of being national, I agree, but with reservations (and many questions!). With regards to being reformational, I agree theologically, but not ecclesiastically.

Las Margaritas

Steak fajitas: mmmmmmmm!

I went for dinner tonight at Las Margaritas with my church Bible Study group. I had a great time I must say. I've been leading this group since February, and I've found that leading a small group is not easy. The reason is, quite simply, because people are broken vessels, and it's hard to mend broken vessels.

In Canadian culture it's hard to get to know people .. they'd rather just talk about fluffy, shallow stuff, because genuine relationships require effort. On the one hand, they require making oneself vulnerable (What? I have to share that with them?) On the other hand, genuine relationships involve entering into other people's vulnerability (What? You're struggling with that?)

At the end of the summer I was really quite discouraged about our group. Attendance was pathetic, morale was low, and people seemed generally disinterested, indifferent.

In the past 5 weeks, however, a few new people have joined our group, all of whom are committed to not only "physical presence", but "total presence". They don't mind sharing their weaknesses with others, and from what I can gather, they're willing to "bear" other's burdens too.

All this to say that we had a great evening tonight, eating Mexian food to our heart's content. I look forward to sharing more of life with them. Next Tuesday we're getting together to study Isaiah 5: "A Song of Injustice".

PS - the sangria was really good too...

Reading Week

On all accounts, this week was a success. It was reading week: we had no classes, in order to give us time to do research on our semester projects. Here's the work I accomplished:

* Monday 23rd: 10 hours of studying (7 reading, 3 other)
* Tuesday 24th: 9 hours of studying (6 reading, 3 other)
* Wednesday 25th: 6 hours of studying (3 reading, 3 other)
* Thursday 26th: 6 hours of studying (2 reading, 4 other)
* Friday 27th: 3 hours of studying (3 other)

The reading I did was mostly related to my class on I. Corinthians.
The note-taking was for Systematic Theology B, covering Christology.

I've earned a good weekend off!

Opening The Pages

This semester is turning out to be very interesting.

At first I hated the semester, because of my Preaching/Worship course. I thought we would talk about the theology of preaching: why we preach, what to preach; but instead, we've focused primarily on how to preach. Essentially, the course I'm in is a course on technique, and if there's one thing I'm sceptical in a church it's technique.

But things are getting better. My first sermon's over with, and I was truly humbled by the response of my classmates. They were so encouraging, so supportive. Maybe I need to re-evaluate my attitude....

On another note, I've loved immersing myself in Scripture this semester. I've been reading a lot of Scripture, not just for my classes, but also in my personal time, and for the small group Bible Study that I lead on Tuesday nights.

I'm just amazed at the richness of the Bible. As my Preaching/Worship prof says, "Jesus encounters us in every page of Scripture", and I've found that to be so true. Whether it's in the creation account or in the narratives of Abraham and the Patriarchs in Genesis, the Psalms of praise or lament, prophecies of Isaiah, the gospels, the Pauline epistles, or the apocalyptic visions in Revelation, Jesus is already there, waiting for us, promising to meet us everytime we open the pages of Scripture.

Woman At The Well

No, I'm not going to write about Jesus' encounter with the woman at the well; in fact, nothing even close to it.

But I will talk about a woman: a lovely one I met today. Meeting her once again proved to me that all that's required in melting my heart is a kind and lovely smile. And that she did. And that she has.

So, why the "woman at the well?" I have my reasons.....

Faith For The Flood: Take 1

What a relief! I preached my first sermon today in my class, and it went well. I was given the "green light" on sermon content. The only constructive criticism I received was to read Scripture with conviction, and to make more eye-contact with the audience.

Thank you Lord!

Abundant Life

I had breakfast with Eric this morning at a place not too far from where I live. Poor guy. He's quite frustrated with the (lack of) dating scenarios in his life. For one reason or another things always seem to go sour when he tries to initiate something with women.

Well, I can relate to that. My story with women is not exactly a story of success (although since growing a beard women seem to be knocking at my door .. hahaha). If it wasn't for God's grace in giving me an enduring sense of humour I'd be quite cynical. Then again, I already am cynical. Maybe without God's grace I'd be even more cynical.

It amazes me how angry we get with God, if things don't go "our way". We blame him for our problems, thinking that he "owes" us something, whether it be a job, or a spouse, or a good standard of living, or whatever. After all, Jesus said he'd give us "abundant life." Aren't these examples of an abundant life? That's the way we think nowadays.

But I think that's backward

I have but one task in life, to worship and glorify God. The more I do that, the more I will be drawn into unity with Christ and fellowship with the Tirnity. And as that happens, things on this side of eternity will become not trivial - God does not trivialize human suffering - but a step of sanctification towards eternal glory.

Lord have mercy on us

Christ have mercy on us.

Lord have mercy on us.

No More Mate .. At Least For Now

My throat is so sore from drinking mate that I've decided to stop drinking it for a while. This sucks, because a few of us guys at school founded the mate club. We meet every Tuesday from 1:30 - 3pm, and drink it while discussing theology. It's great. Often times other guys will join us out of curiosity for what we're drinking, but not so with the women. I think they're turned off by the communal nature of the drink. Whatever...

Anyways, back to my sore throat (this is about me me me, after all). I think it's because the build up of bitterness in my throat. It just got infected and now I can barely drink anything without it hurting: anything hot like tea or coffee irritates it, and something cold like pop irritates it also.

About the only thing I can drink is normal room-temperature water. Maybe that's a sign .. I should stop my indulgence of drinks such as coffee and mate.

Die Große Stille

And he said, "Go out and stand on the mount before the LORD." And behold, the LORD passed by, and a great and strong wind tore the mountains and broke in pieces the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. And after the wind an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. And after the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire the sound of a low whisper. I. Kings 19:11-12.

With these words, the film Into Great Silence began. They were appropriate verses, because the entire film - that's 160 minutes - was next to silent, virtually no talking. The film is about The Grand Chartreuse, the mother house of the legendary Carthusian Order of the Catholic Church. Essentially, the film captures the repetitive, rhythmic life at the "mother house" and beautifully portrays the life of prayer/worship, work, community, etc... It is a voyage into a different world.

Here's how the website introduces the film:

"Silence. Repetition. Rhythm. The film is an austere, next to silent meditation on monastic life in a very pure form. No music except the chants in the monastery, no interviews, no commentaries, no extra material."

I've been pondering what the connection is between the opening verse (above), and the vow of silence upheld by the Carthusians (in this particular Order, monks live in virtual silence .. talking is extremely limited, permitted only at designated times), and I've come to the conclusion that the connection is as follows: God speaks to us through the ordinary.

This is totally counter-cultural, because we are told that God - if he's there - should announce himself in 'obvious' ways (like creation isn't obvious enough): he should come down majestically in a cloud (which he will, when Jesus returns), or he should appear in a thunder, bolt, and lighting show, or even more grandiose, he should announce himself through giant hand-writing in the sky. Jesus' contemporaries were looking for signs and wonders, just like us, but Jesus responded, "An evil and adulterous generation seeks for a sign, but no sign will be given..." (Matthew 16:4)

The sound of a low whisper?

Our culture is a culture of noise: not only talk and music, but the humdrum of all kinds of other noises, like buses, construction cranes, cash registers, computers, and cellphones. We may not like to admit it, but often times - perhaps even usually - these noises just serve to distract us and occupy ourselves. We need to be distracted from the monotony of everyday life, so we buzz and beep ourselves, thinking "Yes, now I have meaning", and we occupy ourselves with making noise thinking "Now I am important."

The sound of a low whisper?

What we don't realize is that we already are important, and we already have meaning, except, we're too occupied seeking the extra-ordinary, and we're too busy making noise. We're not listening. In the meantime, Jesus awaits us with open arms: "Be still."

Be still? "Be still and what...!!!", we say. "Be still and know that I am God." (Psalm 46:10).

The sound of a low whisper?

Yes, Jesus comes to us in the sound of a low whisper. Can you hear him?

His Steadfast Love Endures Forever

What a beautiful refrain to read over and over again. This is the "response" refrain in Psalm 136, repeated 26 times, once for each verse. It seems to me that this is a very appropriate response to read on Thanksgiving Sunday, a day I spent in Abbotsford with family.

I arrived in Abbotsford early afternoon, around 1:30, a few hours before the festivities began. It was good to get there early, because that way I was able to "catch up" in a small group with mom, dad, and my niece Tanis, before everyone else arrived.

Everyone else, not just family members but relatives too, arrived around 4pm, and we ate dinner not too much after that. Dinner was excellent, as usual.

After dinner we went downstairs and had a time of family devotions. I tried to say a little something about the Psalm, and it went ok, but I find that my difficulty with the Psalms - actually not just the Psalms, but all the Scriptures - is to get to the "main idea" of a text. I like dancing all around the text, picking up all kinds of interesting tidbits, but I often times miss the central kernel of truth the author tries to communicate.

After opening up the floor for some feedback, we sang what seemed like 100 hymns, before closing the evening with fellowship and conversation.

Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good,

for his steadfast love endures forever!

Blessed By Fire

Today was one of the better days I've had in the last few weeks. Here's how it went.

Morning: studied at home. I did research on the passage I'm preaching on: Genesis 6:5-9:29.

Noon: Anglican Studies Holy Communion and lunch. I'm learning not to stuff myself full of food everytime I eat.

Afternoon: I met up with Alicia mid-afternoon. We studied together before heading out for dinner at my favourite Pakistani Restaurant: Al-Watan. Too much food in one day.

Evening: The highlight of the day was when we went to see an Argentinian movie, Blessed by Fire (Iluminados por el Feugo). This was a movie about the effects the Falkland War in the early 80's had onthe soldiers. Very powerful and real: a very good movie. I've seen a few Argentinean movies over the past year, and I've been pleasantly surprised at the level of cinematography coming out of that country. But more than that, I was just happy to spend some quality time with Alicia. I think our reconcilliation has been astonishing. I'm amazed at how well our times together go. How ironic ..I know her better now as a friend, than I ever did as her boyfriend.

Help On The Way

Today I met with Mike L, the TA for my preaching class. He's going to help me formulate my sermon. I'm preaching a 10 minute sermon to my class on October 16.

The passage I'm preaching on is the same passage I've been tasked to preach on at my church (why did I agree to preach at my church anyways?): Genesis 6:9-9:29, the story of Noah and the Flood.

I was (a little) encouraged after my meeting with Mike today. At least I have a sense of direction now. I know where I'm going...

1 Minute

My gosh .. this is so tough. Today in my Preaching class (see yesterday's post), we had to do a Scripture reading plus give the main idea, in 1 minute. I just about died.

I know. Ridiculous. It's only a minute. Why am I so burdened by this?

I think I feel so pressured because all the people in my class seem/act so smart, and at times I feel so stupid. But I think the key word is that they seem/act smart. They are not. At least not all of them. Plus, most of them have preached before, whereas I've preached only to myself while taking a shower, if that.

But in reality, I think the reason I'm having such a difficult time is because I'm looking in the mirror and not liking what I'm seeing. I'm facing my own vulnerability, more importantly, my own pride. I've throned myself at the top .. a place reserved for Someone Else.

I don't know how I'm going to make it through this semester. I hate this course.

Facing My Demon

This semester is going to perhaps be the most difficult semester for me during my studies at seminary. The reason: public speaking.

I'm taking three courses, Preaching and Worship, Advanced Exegesis: I. Corinthians, and Systematic Theology "B". The 3rd course is no problem, but the first two courses require some public speaking which is something I've dreaded since beginning my Masteral studies. That's why I've left these courses to my last year: I hate public speaking. It's my worst fear. I'd prefer most kinds of suffering over public speaking, but somehow or another, I feel this is a necessary process I need to go through.

I have to face this demon, once and for all. By God's grace - and only so - I will defeat this demon.

Hamaca Paraguaya

Ted and Karin came over tonight, for an enjoyable evening of food and film.

We met shortly after 6pm in Burnaby, before going for dinner at Anton's, my favourite Italian Restaurant in Vancouver. I remember the days when I used to work at Glenayre, in the last 1990's .. we used to go to Anton's all the time for lunch, because the food is just that good!

Well, things haven't changed there. They still serve the best pasta in Vancouver. After dinner (which included a very very yummy tiramisu cake for dessert), we headed downtown for Hamaca Paraguaya, a Paraguayan movie shown here at the Film Festival.

The movie was good, but very slow, and very minimalist. In fact, the entire movie had less than 10 scenes, I'm sure. But, it did a great job portraying Paraguayan life: simple, but full of dignity. I'm glad I went to see it. The only disappointment was that it was in guarani. I shouldn't be surprised, really, because after all guarani is the native language of the people, but I was hoping to hear some spanish. I love the sound of spanish. It's like music to my ears....

But next week I'll have the opportunity to hear some nice Spanish when I see a movie from Argentina.

It was a good evening: good food, goof film, and good family. :)

Film Festival

My favourite event of the year in Vancouver (together with the Celebration of Light fireworks) is the Vancouver International Film Festival. This year it takes place from September 28-October 13. This is the one time per year where movies actually worth watching hit the scene.

I'm just so fed up with pretentious Hollywood. So, here are the movies I plan to see over the next 15 days:

* Paraguayan Hammock (Hamaca Paraguaya), Paraguay: a married couple go about their daily lives, pondering the fate of their son who's gone off to war --> September 28

* The Great Bazaar (O Grande Bazar), Mozambique: two poverty-stricken boys struggle to survive --> September 29

* Into Great Silence (Die Grosse Stille), Germany: examines the humble existence of those who choose to live a monastic life in the Carthusian Order --> October 1

* Blessed by Fire (Iluminados Por El Fuego), Argentina: a movie about the Falkland Islands war in the early 80's --> October 6

* What is it Worth (Quanto Vale Ou E Por Quilo?), Brazil: a film showing how money raised by charities often times ends up lining the pockets of organizers--> October 13

What To Make Of It All..

I've been seeing Alicia more than usual lately. I saw her at least twice last week. Then I spent Friday afternoon and evening with her.

And today I saw her for a few hours in the afternoon. We met at Granville Island, and parked ourselves along the water with dozens of other people who were thrilled to enjoy another sunny September-Sunday. We both brought books to read: I'm almost finished with Saint Augustine's Confessions, and she was getting some knitting ideas from a knitting book.

I don't know what to make of this.

Trampolining In Abbotsford

It's been great visiting with sibblings over the past few months. It's great to have them back in Canada.

This aftetrnoon I visited Ted and Karin at their home in Abbotsford. I spent a good deal of time with their kids too, jumping on the trampoline. Man, that was great fun.

Around 6ish we also ate a great bbq dinner.

By 8:30 I was back at home, studying.

Cough Cough, Sniff Sniff

I'm sick .. again! I woke up today with a headache the size of .. I don't know, it was big. My nose runs all the way to the floor, and my throat, my God, it feels like I'm swallowing a cactus everytime I swallow...

No More Bells And Whistles, Please!

I'm excited, because Friday lunches are back. Friday lunches are the best lunches at school: Holy Communion with the Anglican Studies group, and then lunch at a chinese restaurant nearby. Odd combination, I know, but does it get any better?

Unlike our weekly chapels on Tuesdays, where one never knows just what to expect (what's it gonna be today, traditional hymns, or contemporized(?) hymns, or contemporary music? .. how many more variations of musical arrangements must we endure [and to boot, they seem to get worse and worse!]? .. and when will we end the mixing and matching of lyrics with melodies? .. and, what kind of a service will we have today: a Pente-Presby-Baptist-Reform, or will it be Free-Anglo-Alliance-Menno? .. puhleeeeeeeease! .. and finally, can we just settle on a set liturgy and stick with it, rather than reinventing the wheel every week .. we have, after all, almost 2000, yes, 2000 years of church history and wisdom to guide us .. please, stop the madness or else, put me out of my misery), Friday services are simple, profound and straight to the point. No frills, no song-and-dance, just the bread, the cup, the liturgy of Holy Communion, and a 10 minute homily. Need we have anything else?

I can't believe I just said that. Nah .. sometimes the truth hurts. Ha! I think I'm becoming a liturgical snob, a "rigourist".

Boulevard Café

I went out with Alicia earlier this afternoon, and had a great time. She had a coupon for the Boulevard Café just around the corner from school, so we went there and drank this carbonated water & fruit juice (mango & coconut) drink. I think it's an Italian drink or something. Whatever it is or wherever it came from, I didn't like it.

But I did enjoy my time with her.

The Inner Voice

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I will do after I graduate next April, God willing. I really don't feel a very particular, specific calling, like being a Pastor, for example. Yet at the same time, I know that God has been preparing me, moulding me over the past 4 years, so that he can use me somewhere for the good of his kingdom.

Earlier this week I read a quote by an alumni of our school. This is what she said in her article: "At Regent I discovered that God wasn't at 'the edge,' hoping I would join Him; He was within me, waiting for me to listen to His love. He wasn't calling me to a geographical destination, but to the centre of my being, to mundane obedience."

I found this article, and this quote in particular, very encouraging, because it invites me to be faithful to God "in the present moment," before all else. Maybe God has called me to a specific geographical location - I don't know - but I need not go anywhere but to the very core of my being, in order to listen to the voice of Jesus there. Furthermore, it's in the small, mundane, daily tasks, that first-and-foremost I need to be obedient.

No Wonder!

I discovered this morning while taking a shower that the shampoo I'm using has an expiry date of 10.19.2003.

No wonder I'm going bald....

Violent Irruption Of Love

This morning I went to church with Alicia, to attend a conference on the book of Genesis. It was very good, I'm glad I went. I love the Hebrew Scriptures. So much of God's character becomes evident in its pages. In fact, without the Old Testament, neither the New Testament nor Jesus make any sense at all. Here are a few things I took away from today's session:

* The Bible contains the story of the "irruption", the in-breaking, of the kingdom of God on earth; this story begins with Genesis

* This in-breaking is essentially a violent irruption of love

* God's kingdom is different than the kingdoms of this world, in that it's ruled by love; this is 1- for God's glory; and 2- for our salvation

* God's kingdom is mediational in nature: Israel mediates God to the world; Jesus Christ mediates God & man; the Church mediates Jesus Christ to an unbeleiving world

* There are 4 components of a nation (ie - Israel): Land, Law, Leader, & People

* People: Israel, but by faith, we are also identified with the faith of Abraham (Galatians 3:26-27)

*Land: Whereas Genesis depicts a physical land of God's kingdom nation, today we are a "spiritual land"; Jesus is our land/space; whereas Israel entered land by faith, we enter Jesus by faith

* Leader: King David was the leader of the OT nation, Jesus is the leader of the NT nation

* Law: OT law was written on rock; NT law written on our hearts; the moral law has not been abolished, but rather, it's administration has, and the Torah has been written in our minds through the Holy Spirit

Finally, I found this helpful: ther's no "utopia" or "perfect society" today, nor is it possible. Adam and Eve lived in it, but they rejected it when they sinned.

DG The OG

David G, also affectionately known as the "Original Gangsta" has been visiting from Toronto the past few days: 8.29-31, 9.5-6. It's been great to see him.

Hanging out with him & Scott L. brings back such great memories from my university days, hanging out with the boys, playing soccer, going partying at the Luvafair. Man, it seems so long ago....

While Dave was here, we went to Al-Watan for Pakistani food twice, we met Scott for lunch downtown once, and we also walked around the city a ton. At first he was quite bitter that we went everywhere on foot, but by the end of his stay he was "converted" to this simpler way of getting from place to place. He found it refreshing, to walk everywhere. He got some exercise that way, he saw the city from "ground level", and what more, he enjoyed the way our conversations flowed more naturally during walks.

Late afternoon he went back to Toronto. Good luck going for walks in that concrete jungle....!

One Last Stab

I have mixed feelings on this day.

I am happy. I'm happy because Sharon got married. I'm not happy about the fact she married, because ever since the day I met her I've loved her, and it's not easy seeing her marry someone else. But all I've ever wanted for her is to be happy, and if this marriage is right for her, then so be it. I bless it. I bless her.

I am relieved. Her marriage provides yet another element of closure for me. It's not like I've had any hopes of getting together: this hope was smashed to smithereens a long time ago, but still, knowing that she now has a ring on her finger does provide yet one more element of finality to the issue.

I am disappointed. I am disappointed because she did not invite me to her wedding. Over the past 4 months she repeatedly told me that she had a wedding invitation for me, yet, she never gave it to me. It's not that I wanted to attend her wedding that badly - I didn't - it's just that she didn't keep her word. She lied to me, and that hurts. It shows me that I don't really matter to her. Perhaps I never did.

I remember how when I was younger my mom always said to me "God has someone very special in mind for you." I believed this, never questioned it. Until I turned 30, unmarried. I started to wonder whether God really did have someone special for me: maybe we just had an inadequate conception of God's will and plan for our lives.

I think it's fair to say that sometimes we want something so badly that we will not even endeavour to conisder the thought that God may have something different, better, in store for us. We cannot bear the thought of not getting what we want, and since we believe in the sovereignty of God, the only potential option left to us (& God) is that he'll 'make things happen.'

C. S. Lewis was right when he said that if God had given him everything he ever asked for he'd be in deep trouble, because not everything he asked for was good for him. In fact, many things he prayed for were downright harmful. The same is true for me. Ahhhh, hindsight vision is always 20/20.

The most important discovery my relational disappointments have led me to is in the way I relate to God, and especially the way I pray. I still believe in God's sovereignty. He is still my Master who will never mislead me. The prophet attests to this, "Whoever is wise, let him understand these things; whoever is discerning let him know them; for the ways of the LORD are right, and the upright walk in them, but transgressors stumble in them" (Hosea 14:9).

And when I pray, I try not to pray that God would "give me this," "make this happen," or "lead me that way." Inevitably I just end up disappointed. God's ways are just too mysterious for me to comprehend. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Instead of praying for me, I look for ways to better praise and worship him in life and prayer. I look for ways to serve him more completely, wholeheartedly, unconditionally. As my prayer life is oriented away from me and towards him, it seems to me, I am realigning my whole being away from my selfish tendencies, towards his light, his holy mysteries.

Yes, I still ask, seek, and knock (Matthew 7:7-8). But I try (emphasis on the word try) to do so in order to learn more about God and his ways. This entails asking how I can best serve him, seeking how to best benefit his kingdom, and knocking again and again in expectancy of his mercy, not quick solutions.

I am thankful. Thankful for this discovery. Thankful for all the advice I've received over the years from family and friends. Thankful for Sharon, her marriage, and her happiness. Thankful for disappointments. And I am especially thankful for the LORD's "steadfast love" and "mercies", for they never cease, they never come to an end. Indeed, "they are new every morning." Great is the faithfulness of the LORD (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Travelling Light

I helped my good friend Rudy move into a new apartment earlier this evening, and as I saw all the "stuff" he moved, I couldn't help but be reminded of my own moves over the past 10 years: Abbotsford-New West (1997), New West-Kits (2000), Kits-Fairview (2001), Fairview-City Hall (2002), and furthermore, I couldn't help but think how much we love to gather and collect stuff.

All kinds of stuff. Big stuff. Small stuff. Old stuff. New stuff. Good stuff. Bad stuff. Some stuff that we need, but really when it comes right down to it, a whole lotta shitty stuff that really serves no need at all, other than distracting us even for just a tiny little while from anything remotely important.

Neil Postman wrote, among other books, a book called "Amusing Ourselves To Death". I think I need to read that book, because he probably addresses this tendency of ours to accummulate and consume for no other reason than self-amusement.

Tasty Soup

I went to Abbotsford late this afternoon for a celebratory dinner for Ted's 41st (?) birthday. First I dropped by Ted & Karin's place and hung out there for a bit, before heading to mom & dad's for dinner.

At around 5pm I arrived at Ted's. I played "bumm-a-war" on the trampolin with my nephews Neal & Dylan, before heading inside and talking with Ted and Karin for a bit. We reminisced about Ted's "Strongwill" days in Paraguay. Yes, those were the days....

At around 7pm we all headed over to mom & dad's for dinner. As usual, the dinner tasted excellent, and as usual, there was enough food left over to feed a hungry village in Africa. Lord have mercy ...

After dinner we went inside and had a nice chat about all kinds of topics. Yes indeed, it is in these kinds of situations where the young and old, the intelligent and ignorant, the serious and jovial, mix to form some sort of familial-conversation-soup that one never knows quite what to make of. One may like or dislike the taste, but tasteless this soup is not, for its ingredients are far too filled with passionate talk about personal and impresonal matters.

Anyways, enough philosophical psycho-bable: it was a good day. Enough said for today.

Ryan & Julie's Wedding

Another weekend, another wedding: the 3rd wedding in the last 5 weeks.

Today my friend Julie married Ryan, at a golf & country club in Surrey. It was strange attending a non-religious wedding, but everything was done in very good taste. Actually, I'd expect nothing less from Julie. She has a way of getting things done exactly the way she wants to. It was a perfect day for a wedding: hot and sunny. The reception was good, with super food, wine, and various fun activities that encouraged guest participation.

In the evening I went to church, and afterwards I walked home. I've walked home from church throughout the summer; it's been a good way to wind down the weekend, and prepare for a new week.

Next week's the last wedding I'm attending this summer. This one will be hard to swallow. Sharon's getting married.

Hiking & Wining

Morning:
* I hiked the Grouse Grind with Paul, and two friends he invited, Sharon and Karin. Neither of the girls were "hikers", so we we took it really easy. It took us 2 hours to hike to the top. As far as socializing was concerned, it was fun. But hiking at such a slow pace was no fun.

Once at the top, we relaxed for a bit, before going to see the grizzly bear "habitat" they have set up there. It was interesting. I'm fascinated with bears, so my nickname "cub" is actually quite ideal. These bears are massively huge and heavy, yet very playful. Those qualities, "big" and "playful" seem like paradoxes to me, but that's probably just me.

Evening:
* I went to the August edition of the "Wine Club" I'm a part of with some close friends. Tonight we tried a few Sauvignon Blanc wines. Kendell-Jackson (California), and Cloudy Bay (New Zealand) both make good Sauvignon Blancs. Oddly enough, I liked the "ringer" wine best: a French Vouvray. Unfortunately, I forgot the brand name of the wine.

Wavelenghts

This morning Grace and I met over coffee. It was the first time we met since our time together in Firenze and Roma in July. It was good to catch up, especially with regards to her experience this past month at Caux, Switzerland, at an inter-religious dialogue/conference.

But I knew that sooner or later we'd end up talking about us. She asked me why I hadn't emailed her the past 5 weeks. I simply told her the truth: I feel that she takes my attention away from God, I feel an increased draw towards the single life, and finally, we're both very different, on different "wavelenghts", if you will. She was hurt, but she accepted my comments.

I offered her friendship, but she said she'd think about it, and get back to me.

In the afternoon I met up with my wonderful nephew Ralph, whom I picked up at the bus station. We took the skytrain downtown and had lunch there, before walking around, checking out the city. Late afternoon we took the bus to my place. Just before arriving at my place we dropped by a hairstylist just around the corner, where he proceeded to get a (tiny little) haircut. For dinner we cooked up some pasta, and in the evening we went to watch a movie. He stayed the night. Tomorrow I will drive him back to Abbotsford.

Although I enjoyed my time with Ralph, my mind was occupied with thoughts about singlehood, lust, friendships, cellibacy, marriage, and relationships.

Dean & Kira's Wedding

Cindy picked me up around 9am today and together we went out for breakfast at Seb's. It was good: good food, good conversation, and pleasant company.

In the afternoon I went to Dean & Kira's wedding at church (I ushered at it). The ceremony was nice, Dan G. preached. The reception was casual: stand-up, "fingerfoods" luncheon. I left at around 6pm, went home to take a nap.

In the evening I went to Jeff & Jo Ella's for beer & pizza. Loretta was there too. Good times.

Oh and yeah, while picking up a wedding present for Dean & Kira at Caper's, I asked out the checkout girl. She was the cutest thing. She said no, because she has a boyfriend. But she had the hugest smile on her face, and she told me I made her day.

Melanie's Back Too!

Finally reunited! One of the things I find most frustrating about our family is that we don't live together. My bro & sis live in Paraguay, I live here, and my parents, well, they's usually caught somewhere in between.

Today that all changed, as for the first time in about 15 years we're all together, if not in the same city, at least in the same country. Melanie, Heinz, and their 4 bandidos arrived at the Vancouver aipport, and it was great to see them. Mom, dad, and I went to the airport and greeted them upon their arrival. Ralph & Tanis have grown so much. It's great to have them all back.

I think we'll be together, God-willing, for at least a year. After that, who knows what will happen. It may even be me that leaves the country next time around.

On another note, I finished my paper for Building Christian Communities today, and handed it in. It always feels so good handing in a project. I put a lot of work into this, and I liked the final result. Not only did I learn much from the research I did on Benedictine Monastic Communities, but I also made some suggestions/recommendations for the church: steps the church could/should take in order to improve the way Christians practise community. I am challenged by the Benedictines, and think we have much to learn from them.

Imitating God: A Prayer

As we quieten our hearts and minds, we invite you Holy Spirit, to continue your presence in and among us. Keep our hearts and minds focused on you and on what you want to say to us.
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Heavenly Father, you are our creator, you are God, you are the great I AM. We approach you with a humble heart and a submissive spirit. You alone are worthy to be praised, for you created the heavens and the earth, and all that is in it.

We also approach you with a joyful heart, for even though we rebel and turn away from you time and time again, your faithfulness endures. As the Apostle Paul says, “Christ loved us and gave himself up for us”, and this was a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to you, our God (Eph 5:2). Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice on the cross. We acknowledge with thanksgiving that true reconciliation with creation, one another, and God, is only possible through you.

Lord Jesus, we want to be imitators of you. We want to walk in love (Eph 5:2), steer away from darkness, and walk instead in your light (Eph 5:8), so that we too may inherit your kingdom (Eph 5:5). Awaken us from our slumber, so that Christ may shine on us (Eph 5:14).

Help us be better stewards of time; keep us from idleness and foolishness (5:4, 16). Grant us wisdom and discernment in our daily tasks, in our actions and our conversations.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

On a hot and sunny day like today, in this beautiful city, it is easy to think that all is well elsewhere too. But, “the days are evil” (Eph 5:16), and this is so evident in the conflicts and brokenness in so many places. We intercede for your intervention.

May your church act boldly and wisely.
Protect your people from harm.
Reveal your ways to those in positions of power and influence.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

We are grateful for your church, and in particular, this evening congregation. Guide and protect this service from the Evil One, who seeks to distract and divide us. I pray especially for Neil, the musicians, the prayer team, the greeters, ushers, the Evening Service Committee, the planning committee, and the many people who serve you here on Sunday nights. Grant wisdom and the guidance of your Holy Spirit as they shepherd your flock.

And our congregants we entrust to you also, Lord Jesus. Awaken in us a desire and commitment to know you and one another better. May we see the eyes of Jesus in the person who sits beside us in the pews. Give us grace and patience as we walk our Christian life together and help us to be genuine and real. May we “walk as children of light”, discerning what is good, right, true, and pleasing to you (Eph 5:9-10).

Grant peace to those who could not be here tonight: restore the sick or the hurting, direct the hearts and minds of the distracted, refresh those that are on vacation, and and give us all a single-minded heart intent on loving and serving you and your church.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

And finally, Lord, we silently entrust to your loving care those people you’ve placed on our hearts and minds.

We give thanks to you, our God and Father, and ask that you would guide us into the new week with humble and joyful hearts. And as it pleased you that Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, may our walk in love also be a fragrant offering to you, our God. This we pray in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ (Eph 5:20).

Amen.

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Evening Service Prayer at St. John's Shaughnessy Anglican Church, based on Ephesians 5:1-20.

A Day With My Bro (& Family)

I'm so thrilled that Ted & family are here for the next year or two. Today he came over with Karin and their 4 kids, and we had a good day together. They arrived after 11am, and we had pancakes for breakfast.

Then we went to Jericho Beach. The pictures speak for themselves:

The kids:















Natasha:















Dylan:















Priscilla:















Neal & some other guy:















Feet:















Ted & family:















After the beach we went to McDonalds.

Studying & Hiking

I did lots of schoolwork today, researching on Benedictine monastic communities. I'm interested in learning how they can help us in our life together in the church today. It seems to me we have much to learn from them. Well, I'm still formulating my thesis statement, but it's going to be something along those lines.

I hiked the Grouse Grind again today: 54 minutes.

I took public transportation though, to get to Grouse. Argggghhhhh .. it's gonna take a lot of effort & discipline to do that again. What with a bus-seabus-bus routine the whole ordeal took 3.5 hours. That's a whole hour longer than if I take my car. On the other hand, I was able to read while traveling, and that's something I usually can't do. So I guess it all evens out...

Same Old Same Old...

I finished the Witness paper this morning around noon. I suppose I could've gone to Abbotsford to visit with family, but they went camping in Hope. It's just as well, I spent the afternoon at home, enjoying the sunny day.

It was hot and sunny, so I took the opportunity to sit out in the balcony for a few hours and drink my latest favourite drink, San Pellegrino Orange juice. It's so refreshing on a hot day!

Late afternoon I got in my car and drove to Grouse Mountain, and hiked the Grind again: 54 minutes. I little better than yesterday, but still lots of work.

On another note, earlier this week I received a prayer request by email from Grace. I've been praying for her, but I've yet to respond to her email. In fact, I've yet to email her since my return from Europe. Not good. Actually, very bad.

Same old same old story: I do not have peace about her.

Witness

After a day spent with family yesterday, it was good to get down to business and write my Witness movie review. I'm almost finished with it. Should be finished by noon tomorrow.

Late afternoon I drove up to Grouse Mountain and hiked the Grind: 55 minutes. Not bad, but not good either. By the end of September I'd like to be able to hike it in under 50 minutes.

Strange. I don't enjoy going out on Friday nights anymore. It used to be a matter of principle, not to do any schoolwork on a Friday night, but nowadays, there's a certain peace and safety that comes along with staying at home.

Toys Without An "Off" Button

I went to Abbotsford today to visit with Ted & family & mom & dad.

In the afternoon I hiked to the top of Sumas Mountain with Neal and Dylan. It was the first time I hiked since returning from Europe, and I enjoyed it thoroughly.

I came home tired in the evening, but I was more tired from talking to my nephews/nieces than from the drive or the hike. Actually, I don't really "talk" to them: it's more like trying to answer their 1,001 questions. Where do kids get all this energy from? Where do they get their questions/ideas from? Was I like that too?

My goodness....they're like a toy that runs on batteries. The difference is that toys have an "Off" button, and kids don't.

Children are a gift, no doubt. But I'm glad I haven't received this gift (yet).

Breakfast, Science, & Burgers

I hadn't seen Dave L. in about 4 months, so it was good to catch up with him this moring. He dropped by at 8:30 for breakfast. I made pancakes, he brought blueberries.

In the evening I went to a public lecture on "Has Science Killed God", by a famous lecturer from the UK. It was superb.

After the lecture I went out for a burger with Mar & Byron.

Back To Church

I went to our church for the first time in about 2 months tonight. It was great to be back. It felt like a sort of homecoming.

I'm thankful for the church you've placed me in, Lord!

Fireworks

Today was a good day for two reasons:

* Vancouver hosted the annual Celebration of Light fireworks. It was superb. This is really the only event of the year where Vancouver sheds its no-fun city image and actually allows people to enjoy themselves.

* While watching the fireworks at my good buddy Rudy's place, I met not one, not two, but 3 hotties. My gosh, thank you Lord! Hahaha!!! However, two of them were quite snobby, so I guess I really only met one!! Anyways, 1's better than none. ;)

Ted's Back!

Today my brother Ted, his wife Karin, and their 4 children Neal, Priscilla, Dylan, and Natasha arrived from Paraguay. They plan to be in Canada for the next 2 years.

I'm thrilled!

The last time I had a sibbling living "in the vicinity" was 10+ years ago. I've missed him dearly, so I will do everything possible to make the most of his extended visit.

No More TV...Finally!

This morning I drove Cindy to Langley, where she had a job interview. During the interview I went to Tim Horton's and had coffee, a sandwich, and a donut.

Afterwards I picked her up and on our way home we dropped by a recycling place in Surrey where I was able to finally! get rid of my old electronics "stuff": tv, laser printer, and laptop and camera batteries.

I feel a little lighter now. Less crap's weighing me down.

Visiting The Benedictines

This morning at 6am I picked up James and together we drove up to the Westminster Abbey, a Benedictine monastery in Mission. We arrived there shortly after 7am, settled into one of the corners upstairs in the guest house, and proceeded to take out our Bibles and have a Bible Study of Psalm 41.

Afterwards we prayed the Psalm, before praying for the world, for the church, and for one another.

Then we got down to business. The purpose of our trip to the monastery was to speak with some of the monks there, and learn about their community-life. We met with Father Mark, Father Matthew, and towards the end of the day we met a lively one, Father Peter. The areas we discussed were: 1- the purpose of Benedictine monasticism in general, and the Westminster Abbey in particular; 2- the structure of the community; 3- the nature of life together; and 4- the nature of ministry.

Here are, in (very) short form, the responses we received:

1- Benedictine monasticism exists to seek God through ora (prayer) and labora (work), and this is worked out in response to the monastic vow of stability, continual conversion, and obedience; the specific calling of Westminster Abbey is to prepare young men for the priesthood.

2 - the structure of the community is 1 abbot and 29 monks; the abbot is the Christ-figure of the community, and as such his authority is unquestioned; on the other hand, he leads the community not out of a position of pride or lordship, but humility and love.

3- the nature of life together is structured around the divine office, or the sanctification of time through work & prayer. Every one works out his monastic vocation according to his gifts.

4- the nature of ministry stems from the gospel of Matthew (5:14), where Jesus says: "You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden." In other words, do now what we will be doing in all eternity: seeking peace and pursuing it.

I have to say that everytime I visit the monastery I leave a better man. It seems to me they're doing something right. I'm incredebly attracted to their vocation.
















After we finished the conversation, we went and heard them sing the Psalms in the beautiful church.
















And we also had the chance to go for a walk and visit the monastery farm. The picture above is of the orchard trees.

Lord Jesus, thank you for the monks at the Abbey who are working in your vineyard. Bless them according to your good and perfect will. Amen.

Settling In

It's great to be home. Yesterday I slepped in, and today I am starting to get down to work. I've got a lot of things that I need to get done.

August 17th is the deadline for my "Building Christian Communities" coursework. By then I have to write a movie review, visit a Christian community and write a reflection paper on it, and write a research paper.

After the 17th I want to take 2 weeks and do some house lceaning: clean the apartment, pay my taxes, pay my bills, do my financial planning for the next year, get rid of old "stuff" (tv, laser printer, clothes, and shoes), register for the Fall Semester, and some other "stuff" that needs to be done before the new semester begins in September.

Also, my brother Ted and his family arrive here on the 28th of July, and I definitely want to spend some time with them.

In the meantime, I'm thrilled to be home!

Hiking The Big T..... Uhm, Grand Teton

OK, so today was actually a travel day: 15 hours from Driggs --> Butte --> Spokane --> Renton (Seattle) --> Vancouver. I'm finally home!

But rather than talking about the boring journey home (we didn't even listen to any music!), I'll post some pictures of a hike up the "Ski Pass" (or something like that), not too far from Grand Teton National Park.

It was a perfect hike: 5 miles; we did it a few hours before Mark's wedding yesterday. Here are the pics:

The way up:















Andrew (left) & Rob


















































At the top:

Cub & Andrew















Susan, Andrew, Tim, & Rob















The Lake (it was cold!)






























The return: