House Blessing

This evening I had some friends over at my place for a house blessing.  It was a special event for a few reasons: one, it was the first time I hosted people at my place since moving here from BC (that's one and a half years ago!); and two, having my home blessed was very meaningful from a theological perspective.

I asked my mentor Francis to do the honour of blessing my home.  He began by blessing the crucifix which I then proceeded to hang at the front entrance.  Then we blessed my living spaces: the entrance, the living room, the kitchen, the bedroom(s), and bathroom(s).  He'd selected various people from our group to read a small service he'd put together.  After each reading we all said Amen!, it was lovely.

 

After the blessing was complete, people mingled, while (Carla's) Chris and I got the bbq going in preparation for dinner.  People brought appetizers, salads, and other dishes along, so that when the steaks and sausages were all grilled and ready to go we had a complete meal.  Add the various juices, wines, and beers to the food, and it truly was a feast.

From left to right: Eric, Laura, Lisa, Christine, Francis, and Becky.

For the rest of the evening we mingled, chatted, and laughed.  I'm so blessed, because the people I've met here have wonderful senses of humour.  Deb and Eric were quite funny making up stories about my past.  And Heather - innocent Heather - led everyone in pulling a couple pranks, such as hiding my shoes in the basement, saran-wrapping my toilet(!), and turning my mattress upside down!

 From left to right: Edgar, Carla, Chris, Heather, Nicole, Deb, and Connor.

I'm feeling very blessed.  I have a wonderful job and amazing coworkers.  I bought a great house in a well established part of the city.  I am finding my way spiritually too, attending St. Mary's on the westside, and enrolling in RCIA at Holy Spirit Parish.  And finally, I seem to have found a wonderful new friend in Michelle - I hope to see a lot more of her when she returns from California.

Thank you Lord for these and all other blessings you bestow upon me in your kindness.  I pray for a grateful heart.  I pray for continued blessings upon me and all those I care for.  Amen.

The Camino: Answered Prayers

A year ago yesterday I began my pilgrimage on the Camino de Santiago.  How time flies...

It may seem strange, but since walking the Camino, not a day has gone by that I didn't think about that amazing experience.  For one, I think it quite possibly may be the most significant accomplishment of my life, and so it makes sense that it's still on the forefront of my mind.  

But on another level, there are at least two events in my life that occurred as a direct result of the pilgrimage, and because of this connection, I often think back to the long walk that I took to Santiago de Compostela, and how it changed my life.  These two events are: vocational and relational changes.

The sobering thing about the changes in working and loving, is that I prayed for direction and discernment on both.  I prayed that God would lead me in my search for meaningful work, and I prayed that God would guide me in my search for a life partner.  And astonishingly, God answered both, radically.  The first prayer item was answered within 4 months of my walk.  And the second, well, it was maybe answered a long time ago already, but I only recognized the answer upon my return from Spain.

Vocation.  Last year at this time I was working in Spiritual Care, the general area that I've sensed God directing me towards over the past 4 years.  But the format was part-time, on-call, and in a secular institution that I felt little connection to.

Today, I am working in Spiritual Care, but in a capacity that enables me to contribute in a significant way not only to the lives of residents, but to the life of the institution itself.  It helps too that the facility is faith-based, and highly regarded in the community.

Relationships.  In a sense, nothing has changed here: I'm still a bachelor!  But on another level, there's been a seismic shift.  My best friend of 4 years is virtually absent from my life.  Desolation.  And other friendships too, are radically altered.  I now spend a lot of time alone, much more than I'm comfortable with.  And while I have made new friends in my new city, it just doesn't feel quite like home yet.  Yet.

Prayer is dangerous.  God hears our prayers.  Worse yet, He answers them.  Be careful what you pray for.

A year ago I'd never have imagined such drastic changes.  Leaving the mountains for the prairies.  Exchanging dark and wet days for clear and cold days.  Good bye city.  Hello farmland.  Geography.  That's all that changed, really.  A new postal code.  And yet, it wasn't just a move.  It was a Call.  A call that demanded a response.  Obedience.

God's ways are excruciatingly frustrating.  But then, perhaps in my more sober or lucid moments, not to mention less narcissistic moments, I'm reminded of God's words to the prophet Isaiah: "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the Lord.  For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Indeed.

Rarely are my thoughts lofty enough to leave even the earthly atmosphere, never mind reach the heights of heaven.

I prayed.  God answered.  But in a way that I neither expected nor hoped for.

Still, I am thankful for His answers, His ways.  At least I'm beginning to be.  I must be.  What else is there?

Change is hard.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have Mercy on me, a Sinner.

The Chapel On Main St.

It's going to be close to 4 months before I step foot again in this city that I simultaneously both love and hate, so as I woke up this morning I felt an acute sense of heaviness on my soul, realizing that today was the day of departure.

Somehow, it seems to me a landmark day.

A closed door on a friendship and relationship gone awry.

Other friendships - especially those from my soccer community - seemingly nearing the end of their cycle.

Yet more friendships, from previous years, now distant both in time and closeness.  Friends get married.  They have children.  They move.  They change jobs, interests, schedules.  Hurtful thoughts and words - spoken or unspoken.  Some friends even changed their faith.  Each of these factors was like a tiny wedge separating us.  I wonder if it had to happen like this or if there is something I could have done to keep relations alive.

But there have been other changes.

Profound spiritual and social alienation from my faith community and denomination.

Vocational disappointments and letdowns.

Rain.  Dark clouds.

And cultural alienation, too.

So when I left this city this morning, a strong sense of finality was in the air.  Next time I come west, is there even a reason to come to Vancouver?  Should I just stay with family in Abbotsford?  Why bother coming to a place that has turned its back on me?

As I began driving to Abbotsford, I was on 12th Street, when just west of Main, I was reminded of the beautiful chapel that I used to go to semi-frequently.  When things were rough - 2001-2, 2006, and the 6 months before my move to the prairies in 2013 - I came here often, sometimes daily, to pray, to sit in silence, to lament and weep, to read the Bible, to just gaze at the cross.

My whole being jumped for joy at the prospect of stopping here again today.  So I did.  To mark the end of an era, perhaps.

I sat.  Silent.  Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.

The cross.  The quietly burning flame.  The Presence.

I sat nearly motionless for close to 30 minutes.  Tears.

And then I got up, bowed before my Lord, did the sign of the cross, and left.

In a city where much is transient, this little chapel is the constant.  In a city where I often felt alone, the Saviour always met me here, clasping his scarred hands around me, and around the world.

Jesus Prayer

Here's a lovely quote I came across while preparing for the didactic on the Jesus Prayer today.  The speaker is the pilgrim, from the Russian novels The Way of the Pilgrim and The Pilgrim Continues his Way.

Referring to the various contexts in which the Jesus Prayer can be prayed, he says:

"...he who has received the gift to revere and glorify the power of the Almighty expresses the word Lord with special feeling and delight. . . He who has received a secret outpouring of love into his heart is filled with sweetness and delight as he exclaims Jesus Christ. . . In him who has steadfast faith in the divinity of Jesus Christ, who is one with the Father, the Spirit enkindles even greater faith when he expresses the words Son of God.  And finally he who has the gift of humility and deep awareness of his weakness utters the words have mercy on me with great intensity." (115)

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me!

Prayer Of A Single Person

Jesus my LORD, who became man and graced us with the beauty of your life and with the example of faith, purity, and love; help me, I pray, to love you with all my mind, heart and soul, and to live according to your teachings.  Strengthen me when temptations strike, that I may remain pure in thought and steadfast in virtue, doing only things that are pleasing to you.  Guide me into your will, and not my own, as I look to the future.  Grant me faith, courage and love, that I may serve you in holiness all the days of my life, through the prayers of the Theotokos and of all the saints.  Amen.

_____

Source: Prayer Book: In Accordance with the Tradition of the Eastern Orthodox Church, Revised 2nd ed., St. Arseny of Konevets, Victoria, BC, Canada, 2011, 53.