Confession

Today Clau and I kissed. It just happened, while we're at my place, in the most unexpected of places too. We were standing in the hallway on our way out to Karla's for dinner.

Needless to say, we arrived at Karla's rather late.

Scarcely Saved

I preached today, on I Peter 4:12-19. My points were as follows:

God is in control, even if sometimes it doesn't seem like it, because of all the suffering and evil around us. The writers of the New Testament certainly expressed this truth, as did the martyrs of the early church. Suffering for our faith serves the following three purposes:

1- it tests our faith;
2- it tells the world of our allegiance to Jesus; and
3- it trains us for the final day.

Conclusion (v19): "Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will do right and entrust their souls to our faithful creator."

I'm thankful, because the preaching went well, and I had some close friends there to support me.

Here are some pics from this morning:
















Clau, Carla, Rachelle.
















Cub.
















Bryan, Carla, Cub, and Rachelle.
















Bryan, Rachelle, Cub, Carla, and Clau.

Clau Returned From Bolivia

I was so happy to see her today when I picked her up from the airport. I definitely have feelings for her, because I missed her like CRAZY while she was gone.

I even called her long distance to Bolivia while she was away, and talked to her for quite some time.

I'm glad she's back!

Rules Of Spiritual Discernment

It sounds strange to list "rules" for "discernment." Rules for games or driving yes, but discernment? Apparently...

Just over a week ago I was in a course on spiritual discernment, and I was amazed - pleasantly, I admit - that discernment is not just a "willy-nilly" free-for-all, based on warm and fuzzy subjective feelings. Ignatius of Loyola of the 16th century, in particular, put together the following helpful rules in spiritual discernment:

1- During times of decision making, we all experience periods of consolation and desolation. Consolation = a sense of wellness, peace, joy, shalom. Desolation = disturbance of the soul, such as anger, fear, or discouragement.

2- Never make a decision while in a place of desolation, because in those times our soul is turned away from God and towards the "fragmentation of the world." The Holy Spirit is not the spirit of fear and despair, but rather, of love and power (I. Tim 1:7). Therefore, we wait until we're in a place of consolation or return to the last place of consolation, before making a decision. Only then are our hearts aligned with God.

3- Test all consolation, because not all consolation is of God. The devil is, after all, a wolf in sheep's clothing, and likes to trick us into making bad decisions (I. Peter 5:8). The devil is the source of all false consolation.

How do we test consolation? According to Saint Ignatius, we need to exercise the principle of "holy indifference": freedom from inordinate attachments, indifference to "anything other than the holiness and glory of God." In other words, we need to test the motives behind our consolation. The following "inordinate desires" may bring consolation, but not true consolation of God:

* wealth
* pleasure
* honour
* recognition
* and power

Whenever our motives are driven by these factors, there's a very good chance that we are driven not by a desire of the kingdom of God, but of the world.

In the coming months I'll be pondering these rules of discernment, especially as they relate to my vocational calling. I have a feeling there's something to be learned here.

Decision-Time

Three options I'm considering:

* Missionary work: in Asia
Benefits:
- away from North American life
- simplicity of life
- learning different language, culture
- possibility of teaching theology
Drawbacks:
- away from family

* Social Justice work: in East-Vancouver
Benefits:
- close to family
- long-term investment (personally, financially) in a specific community
Drawbacks:
- do I go back to get a regular job?
- will the church support me?

* Ordination: in the Anglican Church
Benefits:
- love of the church
- learn the art of preaching
- academics
Drawbacks:
- being a shepherd of a flock is hard work (ask the prophets, Jesus: sheep are quite dumb)
- away from family
- the Anglican Church of Canada is pretty much apostate => how to stay faithful within it?