Personality

So I did a personality test at work today.  Apparently I'm an INFJ:

Slightly intravert, as opposed to extravert.

Moderately intuitive, as opposed to sensing.

Slightly feeling, rather than thinking.

Very clearly judging, not perceiving.

I'm not surprised about the INJ, piece, but I am surprised about being a feeler rather than a thinker.  I'm disapponted!

I'm actually not sure how I feel about personality tests in general.  On the one hand, they do seem to point out general ways of being and behaving.  I found answering the questions interesting and fun.  I also learned something about myself in the process I think.

But, can they tell us who we are.  Are they nuanced enough to deal with the complexity of the human experience?  One of my coworkers, for example, in going over the test, said that s/he "had to change personality in order to pursue his/her career", so, that being the case, what's the point of even doing such a test, if we're not meeting the "real" person anyways? 

And also, are personality tests not culturally biased?  I know that people from all over the world have taken personality tests, but have they been done in places where thinking is not predominantly western?  For example, would someone from a collectivist point of view not look at the questions in these tests and think them strange and unrealistic?  Could they identify with such individualistic, autonomous, even atomistic perspectives?  I have my doubts...

Anyways, we also talked about conflict resolution.  The following paradigm was presented:

There are more or less 4 kinds of people: peacemakers, reflectors/observers, champions, and organizers.

Peacemakers like harmony and consensus, and always work towards achieving them.  That's me.

Observers are quiet and don't say much; they stay out of trouble, but are thoughtful, and have an opinion, if asked.

Champions are those who find causes, particularly injustices, and fight for them.

Organizers are, well, organizers: they plan, they coordinate, and do it very well.

The trouble is, however, that we don't always know how to appropriately use our gifts, and so, when that happens, our strengths actually become our weaknesses:

A peacemaker who wants peace at all costs becomes an accommodator: a people pleaser,  whatever causes the least friction.  Again, that's me.
Observers become cave dwellers, when things go wrong: they withdraw, lose interest, "check out".
Champions become annihilators: my way or the highway.
Organizers become controllers: micromanagers, untrusting.

One my colleagues perceived her/himself to be an observer and organizer.  I find this hard to believe.  S/he's clearly a champion gone awry.

Dinner With Rick

I had dinner with Rick tonight, my previous boss.

Man do I miss him!

He was probably too lax as a manager, but my goodness, is he ever a likeable person!

God, bless him!

Gingerless

A memorable weekend; but for all the wrong reasons...

I just arrived back from Winnipeg this afternoon around 6pm, having been storm stayed there overnight.  I never thought this would happen, but I can now say that I've slept in a Motel 6!  I left the windy city around 2pm, but by the time I got to the edge of the city not 30 minutes later, travelling on the #1 was virtually impossible.  The wind was fierce, a whiteout was on, the gates were brought down to block highway access, and a police patrol car was parked in front of it.  There was no way I'd get through...

I promptly turned back and went to a restaurant for a drink, hoping that the wind would subside, but by the time 5pm rolled around the wind showed no signs of letting up, and the road was as blocked as ever.  I checked into the motel, texted my friend Alison, my staff member, and my boss, letting them know that I wouldn't be at work today.  Yay .. sort of, I guess.

Instead of driving I watched tennis on tv.  I read.  I had intentions to go to the hot tub for a bit, but my willpower lost out to the soft feel of my bed.   I became pensive.  I thought, and I thought a lot.

My soul was heavy because a few hours ago I'd told gingersnaps that I didn't think we were a good fit.  Somehow, over the past few weeks, my interest in her dropped dramatically, and consequently, calling things off just felt like the right thing to do.  Our time together the past few days were amicable but distant, a shocking 180 degree turn for me, from a short month ago when I couldn't get enough of her smile and her voice.  I didn't think this would happen.  I even bought a damn cellphone to keep in touch with her (what do I do with it now!).  This, after resisting the pressure to "get connected" for close to 10 years!
 

I'm not devastated.  Actually, I listened to my gut feeling and acted accordingly, and I take that as a good thing.  My gut is most often right.  I am relieved and at peace now.

But I'm troubled by my fickleness and indecision.  And I'm troubled by the pain that I've caused to a very good woman.

While there this past weekend, we went snowshoeing, and had dinner together with her friends.  The highlight, of all things, was a trip to an Italian deli store, where I spent $80 on cheese, prosciutto, sausages, alfredo sauce, focaccia bread, balsamic vinegar, and coffee.

So there it is.  Three trips to the windy city, and now I'm back to square one.

I can't wait to vacation in Mexico....

Happy 72nd!

I hope your birthday is filled with joy, mom!  I love you very much.  Now if you would only slow down, kick up your feet, and relax a little more.  We want to keep you with us for at least another 20!

Inspiring Genie

I love sports.  Particularly team sports, like fútbol, a sport I've followed pretty much since the day I was born.  Olimpia is stamped in my DNA.  Olimpia flows through my veins.  And Paraguay.  And España.  And Roma.  And Bayern München.

But I like individual sports too.  Tennis, for example, is a sport I've followed much of my life.  I remember the Jimmy Connors and Stefan Edberg days.  For the past 15 years I've followed the sport on and off.  Perhaps my attention was elsewhere, or maybe I just lost interest, but I think it's possible that there wasn't really a player that captivated my imagination or attention.  Actually with the likes of Nadal, Djokovic, and Federer, it's hard to justify that last statement, but nevermind.

But my interest in the sport has returned.

Canada has some up-and-coming players, like Milos Raonic and Vasek Pospisil (very Canadian-sounding, I know!).  But nevermind the men.  It's Eugenie Bouchard who's captured my heart.

At 19, she's young, athletic, and mentally tough beyond her years.  Oh and yes, her beauty should probably also be mentioned...

She's been playing well and turning heads at this year's Aussie Open.  Although she lost today in the semi-finals, she has a bright future.  Going forward, I will watch tennis more often.

I'm a fan. I need to find out where to sign up for the Genie Army.

The Less The Better

 I try to avoid doctors and dentists as much as I can.  Having someone poke around my body or drill through my teeth is not something I consider pleasant nor desirable.  Here's a clear scenario where less is more: the less I see them, the better.

Nevertheless, now that I have work benefits (thank you Lord!!!), it's time to have some of this work done.  So...

...last week I went to the dentist; had a teeth cleaning (all ok, no cavs), my first one in 2 years or so.  Found a good dentist, I think, based on my church deacon's recommendation.  One of my fillings is deteriorating, so I need to come back in 2 weeks' time to have it re-done.  Pricetag so far: $400.  Add another $300 in 3 weeks' time.  Again, thank God for work benefits!

Today I went to the doctor.  My first doctor appointment in years.  I'm considering having the growth on my cheek removed.  It's not cancerous, but it is growing, and increasingly noticeable, so I hope to deal with it.  I will see a specialist in 3 weeks' time.  With any luck I will have it surgically removed before my trip to Mexico in mid-February.  I will also have a physical examination done within the next month.

I've been in search for a family physician for a long time, and as long as I stay in the Jaw, he will probably remain my doctor.  He's from Egypt, and to my delight, he is a Coptic Christian!  What fun conversation possibilities!!!!

He had a plaque on his wall, with the following prayer.  It's called the Physician's Prayer:

Lord, Who on earth didst minister

to those who helpless lay

In pain and weakness, hear me now

As unto Thee I pray.

Give to mine eyes the power to see

The hidden source of ill,

Give to my hand the healing touch

The throb of pain to still.

Grant that mine ears be swift to hear

The cry of those in pain;

Give to my tongue the words that bring

Comfort and strength again.

Fill Thou my heart with tenderness

My brain with wisdom true,

And when in weariness I sink,

Strengthen Thou me anew.

So in Thy footsteps may I tread,

Strong in Thy strength alway,

So may I do Thy blessed work

And praise Thee day by day.

XC Skiing @ White Butte

Finally I got to test my new skis!!!  I'm hooked .. I wanna go again!!!!!!

The first hour was hard though, as I was trying to get used to the motion, and my muscles, especially my ankles, were getting sore.

But, another gorgeous day out.  This time even warmer than last week, and sunny, clear skies.

Below are a few pictures, including some of the great people I have the privilege of exploring the outdoors with.

Afterwards, a few of us went to, where else, East Side Mario's.  Their chicken parmigiana is becoming a staple meal for me.

Next up: snowshoeing in Winnipeg next weekend.

A Day Spent Painting

I painted all day today, from 9am - 4pm.  

I finished my 3rd painting....

...and began my 4th one.

No, that's not a beach, it's a pathway....

Restless

The plan a few weeks ago was to go to Winnipeg for a few days in mid-February, before heading down to Mexico.  But I'm having second thoughts.  I may skip Winnipeg.

I've been thinking lots about walking the Camino again.  Maybe September timeframe.

But that would mean I cut my trip to Mexico short by a good 3-5 days, so I can tack those vacation days on to my trip to Spain.

Why do I want to walk so badly?

Church, Lectio, And Skiing

Got up in the morning and went to church, the first time I've gone since before Christmas.

Afterwards I went to my usual spot to do some writing.  Two cups of coffee and a good italian veggie panini got me going...

Around 4pm I noticed that it was sunny and quite mild outside, only around -12, so I packed my stuff, raced home, got out my ski gear and headed to Wakamow.  But by the time I made it out on the track it was close to 5, the sun was going down, and the wind was picking up, so it wasn't quite as pleasant as I thought it would.  The snow was crusty too, presumably from the wind the past few days.

I'm going to Winnipeg again in two weeks' time. But my mindframe is not a good one.  Lord have mercy.

Snowshoeing @ Echo Valley

It was a perfect day for being outdoors today.  -15, almost no wind, the odd snowflake coming down, gorgeous.

The only thing I wish I'd done different is gone skiing instead of snowshoeing.  Not that I don't like snowshoeing, but earlier this week I picked up my new cross country skis, and I am full of anticipation in trying them out.

We did about 9kms or so, which doesn't sound like much compared to our summer hikes, but the snow was (once again!) - perfect, meaning, light and fluffy.  This meant though, that I sank about 25cms or so into the snow every step that I took, even with snowshoes on.  In other words, it was very hard work today to cover the distance that we did.  Good thing I dressed in layers, because I was sweating profusely...

I invited my good buddy Corby from work today, who in the picture below is second from the left.  Oddly enough, though, while most others are facing the camera for the picture, he seems to be busy texting; yes, texting.  Maybe he didn't get the memo: no texting allowed while snowshoeing!

Towards the end of our excursion, we came across a hut.  It had a fireplace and firewood, which John, well-prepared as always, promptly lit with the box of matches (!) he'd brought along.  Thanks John!

After we finished, Corby and I went out for lunch at East Side Mario's.  Veal parmigiana for me with penne and a rosé sauce.  Garlic tomato soup for starters.  And bread, too, loads of bread, like 4 (small) loaves.

Trip Prep

Going to Mexico in a few weeks' time, so this morning I went to get a picture taken, and afterwards I dropped by the local passport office to have my passport renewed.

On February 20th I will preach at the memorial service at my work place.

Then, the next morning I may either go to Winnipeg for a few days before heading south, or I may head south directly and then go to Winnipeg on my day back.  Not sure yet.

My time in Mexico will be interesting, as it's my first trip there alone, although I will meet with the usual suspects once there: Ruth and Marty, as well as Tati and Ruben.  If I'm lucky I might get a few days at the beach, but the majority of my time will be spent at DF.

Flight

This afternoon at 5 I flew back to the prairies.

It was sunny and +7C in Vancouver.

It's  windy and -37C in Moose Jaw.

Hugh's Advice

I shared portions of my conversation with Sanjit a few days ago with Hugh, and his advice was categorical and to the point: "Gotta leave the past behind, my friend.  What's done is done."

Went for breakfast with Hugh, then for a hike, and then returned to Abbotsford.  My time in this city is done.  Back in the summer...

Lewis On Reading History

I didn't grow up paying attention to much of history.  After all, history was full of wretched wickedness, exemplified most acutely by those 1500 years between the ascension of Christ and that other saviour, Martin Luther, or in my family's case, Menno Simons.

It was only when I attended seminary that my view of history was redeemed.  It was there where I discovered the likes of C. S. Lewis, who thought that history, and particularly, historical literature, has a lot to teach us today.

I received a biography of Lewis for Christmas, and was delighted to find a chapter on the place and purpose of literature in it, and will jot down some thoughts and quotes gleaned from it.  The biography was written by Alister McGrath.  Lewis' quotes are in italics.  My favourite of all the quotes is bolded.

* older literature is important for us because it challenges our "chronological snobbery", the idea that current literature (and therefore, current ideas) is inevitably superior to that of the past

* reading literature of the past gives us a critically distant standpoint from our own era; it allows the past to speak into the present, to see "the controversies of the moment in their proper perspective"

* "The reading of old books enables us to avoid becoming passive captives of the spirit of the Age by keeping 'the clean sea breeze of the centuries blowing through our minds.'"

* new books are still on trial, in a sense, because they have not stood the test of time; we are as of yet not in a position to judge its veracity

* "Since we cannot read the literature of the future, we can at least read the literature of the past, and realize the powerful implicit challenge that this makes to the ultimate authority of the present.  For sooner or later, the present will become the past, and the self-evident authority of its ideas will be eroded - unless that authority is grounded in the intrinsic excellence of those ideas, rather than their mere chronological location."

* "We need intimate knowledge of the past.  Not that the past has any magic about it, but because we cannot study the future, and yet need something to set against the present, to remind us that the basic assumptions have been quite different in different periods and that much which seems certain to the uneducated is merely temporary fashion."

* My own eyes are not enough for me, I will see through those of others. . . In reading great literature I become a thousand men and yet remain myself.  Like the night sky in the Greek poem, I see with a myriad eyes, but it is still I who see."

* literature enables us to "see with other eyes, to imagine with other imaginations, to feel with other hearts, as well as with our own."

* literature challenges us as much as it informs us: "Insisting that the text conform to our own presuppositions, to our way of thinking, is to force it into a mould of our own making, and deny it any opportunity to transform, enrich, or change us.  Reading texts is about "entering fully into the opinioins, and therefore also the attitudes, feelings and total experience" of others.  Plato called this psychagogia, an enlargement of the soul."

All quotes are taken from C S Lewis: A Life, by Alister McGrath, pages 186-189.

Cat's Meow

Now this is a dinner:

It's the schnitzel and sausage special, at Cafe Katzenjammer, my 2nd favourite restaurant in Vancouver (my favourite, of course, is Al Watan).  It comes with two sides, of which which I picked red cabbage and fries.  I mean look at the food: it's gorgeous!

The beer's pretty good too (although the Hacker-Pschorr brand's better):

I went to the Cat's Meow (Katzenjammer) for dinner tonight, with Sanjit.  We had a good heart to heart conversation, the kind that are sometimes difficult to have, but always helpful.  Difficult, because they bring out some things that are hard to talk about, and yet helpful, because in talking about them, we learn and grow.

The conversation began with a simple question posed by him.  It had to do with my past love.  What happened to her?  What happened with her?  This is a question that I have yet to broach with my west coast friends.  It's just too painful.  And yet, it's an entirely appropriate question, and I applaud his courage in asking it.

I responded that I would give him a short response, after which I'd change the topic and move on.  We ended up talking about this issue for over an hour.  Not my idea of a short response.

I'd made it my goal on this trip not to see 杨 静 怡, and I'm determined to make it stick.  My past 3 trips here have ended in agony because of the emotional earthquake that seeing her gives rise to.  And to date I've done alright on this trip.  I've thought about her, but haven't been tempted to call.  But the conversation this evening set off feelings similar - although not nearly as intense - as seeing her on previous occasions has.  Some of the things we talked about I will ponder for the remainder of my time here.  In a way I feel that hope has sprung alive again.  Can't explain it.  And this, even though the content of our conversation did not lead towards or warrant such hope.  And yet, against hope, I hope.

Happy (Quiet) New Year!

I spent a quiet evening with Heinz, Melanie, Ralph and Derek this evening.

We ate a meal, played some board games, and had a nice conversation.

Heinz got out a bottle of cider.  Made in Argentina, but not La Farruca.

Ralph was tired before 10pm and went to bed.

Derek lasted a lot longer, but went to bed before midnight.  He was very happy to hang out with the adults.  He has a kind heart.  He just needs to be pointed in the right direction.

I wish Terence'd been there too, but he went to a party at his church.

At midnight we raised a glass.  Salud.  Feliz año nuevo.

Shortly after midnight I dropped in at Ted and Karin's and caught up with them too.  They'd invited a few friends from church, so the atmosphere there was more lively.

We raised a few more glasses; this time of wine, not cider.   Salud.  Feliz año nuevo.

The kids were there too.  Hot tub.  Video games.  Movies.

Around 3am I came home.