Idleness And The Soul

St. Benedict of Nursia said that "Idleness is the enemy of the soul."

The reason idleness is the enemy of the soul is that without work or activity that engages the spirit, mind and body in a meaningful way, we become lazy and allow ourselves to fall prey to various vices.

I notice this to be the case in a few areas in my life.  For example, if I have more than a week off work I start to get itchy and antsy, looking for something to do.  And often times, instead of using this time to do something productive like staining a fence or touch-up paint the wall or put on that second coat of paint on the coffee table, I end up lying on the couch, lazying around, bored out of my mind.

Another example is in the winter time when I'm not as active as in the summer; same thing, unless I have a disciplined, directed activity, such as reading a chapter of a book or the Bible, or instead of praying,  I end up sleeping the afternoon away.

Spiritually speaking, idleness leads my mind into a destructive frame.  I start thinking negatively about just about everything: life, relationships, work, you name it.  Life loses meaning, hours bleed into days, and days into weeks of numbing no-sense existence.

St. Benedict's solution, as I've already alluded to, is to "be employed in manual labour at certain times, at others, in devout readings."

Winter's coming, and along with that, usually a certain kind of apathy and idleness.  Shorter days.  Darkness.  Cold weather.  Discomfort.

Hybernation has its pluses, like sleeping in on weekends, or watching a film on the couch, but if inattentive to the needs of the soul, winter can be weeks and weeks of paralyzing idleness.

How will I keep disciplined this winter?

Spring Is (Almost) In The Air

I made my quarterly trip to the monastery again this past weekend.  The days are getting longer, the sun warmer, and the wind less biting.

Walking to the refectory on one of the mornings, the smell of fresh bread.

 I also took the opportunity to go for a few walks around the monastery.

Final Vows

I spent the weekend at the monastery in Muenster, where I enjoyed the usual hospitality and community I've come to appreciate.  Actually, I made my final vows as a Benedictine Oblate there today.  See here for my initial vows.

It was a meaningful day.  Particularly because in this day and age where we often times look and yearn for community and yet seem unable to find it, I feel blessed that this humble group of monks and oblates welcome me a few times a year, offering a space to stay and reflect, a few meals, the Mass, and opportunities to learn and share valuable life lessons.

As always, we had an educational session on the final day of our gathering, and today I had the opportunity to share my experience of walking the Camino de Santiago in 2012.  It's an experience I will always remember, and certainly love taking about.  

Essentially, I made the following points:

The concept of pilgrimage is common to all people.  We are all on a spiritual journey, and as Christians we believe our spiritual journey is towards God.  As St. Augustine said: "Our hearts are restless until they find you, Lord."

Pilgrimages are a good place for prayer.  In my case, I prayed the Jesus Prayer throughout my journey: "Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me a sinner."  During the walk, I prayed not only for myself but for friends and family.

Pilgrimages are a good time for discernment.  I was discerning primarily about 2 matters: vocation (work, career), and relationships.  As a result of my discernment process during I moved to Saskatchewan. 

Community is an important aim of the Camino.  Like Spiritual Care practitioners, pilgrims on the road became intimate strangers easily, sharing their struggles and burdens with each other.  The bonds of fraternity seemed more visible, even tangible.

Pilgrimages are opportunities to practise simplicity of living.  Jesus speaks often of "traveling light", as we cannot take our earthly possessions with us when our time on earth is complete.  Walking long distances brings this point home, as the greater the weight we carry, the greater the physical demand and burden.

Confessions Of An Oblate

Last year October I made my initial vows to be a Benedictine Oblate, and one of the surprising discoveries I've made since planting this seed is the relational fruits it seems to be bearing.

Fr. Paul, a kind, gentle soul has offered warmth and friendship that I've found supremely refreshing.  Whenever I visit the monastery, he takes time out of his schedule to catch up and see how things are going.  And he seems open and genuine about what life as a monk is like - not just the good stuff, but the warts too.

But the point of today's entry is that I've also found a confessor, someone who hears my failings and offers reconciliation.  As a new Catholic the experience of confession is still unfamiliar and  uncomfortable for me, but it's a process and I imagine it will take a while to get used to it.  Or, on the other hand, confessing our sins may never become normalized, because it's always an affront to our independence...

I am struggling with my relationship with Daniela.  The peace that I had just a few months ago has disappeared into thin air, and I'm beginning to seriously question my motivations, my priorities, my commitments, my very heart.  Intimacy has departed, leaving a vacuum that Distance has filled.

The worst thing is that Daniela arrives in Saskatoon tomorrow.  I'll be spending the next 3 months with her.

Lord, give me wisdom.  Reveal to me my motivations, and purify them, I pray.  Amen.

Oblates: Action and Contemplation

It's been almost 6 months since I made my initial oblate vows.  I'm really hoping that as I continue entering the Benedictine world I also find deeper communion with God and community with others.

Yesterday after work I drove to Muenster and stayed overnight at the monastery there.  This morning I went to Mass, followed by lunch, and then a lecture on the "active" and "contemplative" aspects of the spiritual life.

Being too focused on one over the other indicates imbalance.  Work will always lead us to contemplation and prayer, as we realize our need for God and our inability to do the necessary work to bring healing to the world; contemplation will always lead us back to work, as we hear God's prompting of our hearts to "get back out there" and do his work, sharing the whole gospel with a broken world.

Days are getting longer again.  Even so, I got home in the dark, around 6:30.

Oblate Vows

Today I made my noviciate vows to become a Benedictine Oblate.  This means that going forward, I'm to incorporate the values of ora et labora (prayer and work) into my daily life.  Lectio divina, or spiritual readings, is also part of my commitment to living the Christian life according to the Benedictine tradition.

This new commitment goes very well together with my previous gospel commitments of balance, change (continuous conversion), moderation, simplicity, and stability (commitment).  See this post for previous thoughts I had about becoming an Oblate

Looking back at the influence the Benedictines have had on me, it goes back quite a bit back.  Here's a post from almost 10 years ago that I wrote while working on an assignment at Regent.  It wasn't the beginning of my journey - that came probably 20 years ago when I visited Westminster Abbey in Mission for Easter Sunrise services - but still, it does give insight into the Benedictine way of life.

2015's turning out to be quite a significant year: joining the Catholic Church in April, and now becoming an Oblate.  God's name be praised, always!

Becoming A Benedictine Oblate

A few years ago, while still living in BC, I was thinking about becoming a Benedictine oblate.  I felt that it was important to adopt for myself a Rule of Life - guidelines, principles to which I adhere in all decisions of life - and be attached to a community of people who support and encourage each other in bringing that rule to life.

Then I got busy: I got a new job, moved to the prairies, bought a car and a house, and so on and so forth.  And of course, my relationship with Michelle earlier this year also kept me busy.

But after breaking up with Michelle, 2 things happened: I had a lot more time on my hands, and I didn't know how to fill that time.  This second point became more acute and stressful when I began feeling tremendous feelings of loneliness and discontent.

Fortunately, around the end of March I ventured out on a day trip to a monastery in Muenster, to participate in Oblate Day there.  My experience was quite positive, attending Mass, lunch, and a lecture afterwards.  I also talked to Fr. Paul, in charge of hospitality and oblates at the monastery, and got a really good feeling about re-engaging in the whole conversation regarding becoming an oblate.

That was March; fast forward to today.  I went to Oblate Day again (there are 4 such days per year), and went through the same routine as last time, attending Mass, lunch, lecture, and a short meeting with Fr. Paul.  We both concluded that since I'm quite familiar with the Benedictine tradition already, I am ready to take the next step: make my novitiate vows.

These vows will take place at the next meeting, on October 24th.  In the meantime, I have "homework", 3 readings: 1- the Rule of St. Benedict; 2- A Mystical Portrait of Jesus (Demetrius Dumm), and 3- Poustinia (Catherine Doherty).

This year is turning out to be a momentous year.  First, joining the Roman Catholic Church in April, and now taking my novitiate vows to join the Benedictines.  I will be a Novice for one year before making full vows.

Here, in short are my vows (BCMSS):

1- Balance

2- Change (Continuous Conversion)

3- Moderation

4- Simplicity

5- Stability (Commitment)

By God's grace, these vows will keep in check my thirst for (GPPSW):

1- Glory / Fame

2- Pleasure

3- Power

4- Security

5- Wealth

Daytrip To Monastery

After my recent breakup with Michelle, I felt the need today to get out of my house.  So I did.  I drove to Muenster, and visited a monastery.

I met an interesting priest there, Fr. Paul, and we had a good conversation.  After a few years of not really being in a heads pace to make my oblation and join a monastic community while living "outside the walls", today the thought of becoming an oblate resurfaced.  I will do some thinking and hopefully come back in a few months' time.

Here are some pictures I took of the monastery.