I went to a friend's place this morning. We get together every two or three weeks to have breakfast, drink
mate, and pray. But more than that, getting together is also a way of keeping our friendship real. We lay our joys and sorrows out on the table, talk about them, laugh about them, complain about them, and pray about them.
One of the consistent themes we talk about when we get together is .. well .. women (where there's boys, there's talk about women).
He's been seeing a lot of his ex-girlfriend lately, and the thought has crossed his mind to get back together with her. He humms and haws about it .. weighing the pros and the cons, the goods and the bads, the pluses and the minuses, but in the end, there's one simple thing that settles the issue for him: she has a painting on her apartment wall that he detests.
He describes it as a painting in which two people are quite intimate; not a rude kind of intimacy, but it's explicit enough to make him uncomfortable. He's thought about asking her to take it down, but hasn't done it because he feels that this might be asking a little too much. Oh and yeah, the fact that she painted it, would just add insult to injury.
He likes many things about her, but he can't accept her artistic taste. That's what it comes down to. That's the clincher that makes it clear to him that he does not want to be with her.
This sparked quite the conversation, because I've been thinking lots too over the past few weeks about relationships: How do they work? What attracts men and women? What turns us off? What about compatibility: Is there such thing as compatibility, or is it just social-scientific nonsensical talk?
Here's my story:
I've had the privilege of getting to know AEK over the past few months. She's been so good to and for me. She's kind, thoughtful, and caring. She's gracious, accepting me as I am, and she constantly compliments me. We spend a lot of time together, we talk on the phone, we email, and we chat online. We get along, we have a lot in common, we have a similar sense of humour, and my gosh, we're both tri-cultural! She's attractive, smart, slim, and godly.
Yet somehow, I can't accept the paintings on her wall. For whatever reason, I hesitate, doubt, and waffle. A part of me rejects her.
I don't know what to do. We've been together for over four months now, and we said to each other when we met that we'd give it a go for six months. After that, we get serious or go our own way.
My soul is burdened, because I have to come to grips with the same issue my friend's dealing with.
On the one hand, I feel like a complete idiot for having doubts. I have never met anyone so committed to me. By all accounts I'd be a fool to let her go. Are the paintings on her wall an excuse for me to let another chance go by? Am I so self-sufficient that I have decided I'd rather be alone than deal with someone's imperfections? Am I so self-consumed?
Or, on the other hand, am I just prolonging a relationship that is eternally doomed. Perhaps the writing on the wall is clear, but I'm just refusing to read it. Maybe the painting's like a big sign that reads "Do not Enter", and I just can't read it.
At this point, I don't know.
Lord Jesus Christ, have Mercy!
Here's a CD I picked up earlier this week. AEK introduced me to the Gotan Project a few months ago. The musical genre is lounge tango. It's the tango response to bossa nova lounge music, made famous by St. Germain.
My last post was about The Adventures of TinTin, my favourite comic character. I've been reading The Black Island periodically, in between my Greek studies. It's been a good way to relax while in the storm.
