Monday, August 29, 2005

The Day After

I really don’t feel like writing today, but it’s probably best I write something, if for no other reason than ‘tracking’ what’s going on in my head. Who knows, someday I’ll look back to today’s entry as a reference point or something. Perhaps there’s a lesson to be had in my state of mind today.

On the other hand, maybe it’s just good for me to let it out. We’ll call it self-therapy, catharsis.

Today I definitely hate myself.
Today I definitely want to cry.
Today I definitely feel wretched.
Today I definitely am broken.

Today I definitely need to repent of my sinfulness.
Today I definitely need to heal.
Today I definitely need grace.

The need I feel for God today is so much stronger, intense, than usual. While this is a good thing, I wish I felt this need more often. It would keep me humbler. It would keep me closer to the straight and narrow path.

I broke up with her yesterday. I am angry.

Lord Jesus Christ have Mercy upon me, a wretched sinner!

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