Feeling Disconnected

Yesterday AEK & I went to a bbq put on by my boss from work. He invited our department along with our significant others/spouses to his beautiful house in Port Moody, for an afternoon of food and conversation. He picked a good day, because it was gloriously sunny, probably close to 30C.

The event went fine. Everyone brought some food and drinks. Conversations went well. No complaints.

But it struck me again, as it has so many times before, how disconnected and out of place I feel with the "unchurched." We speak differently about the world, we have different values, different priorities, a different worldview. Actually, when I think about it, we speak a totally different language!!!

While it's normal to meet people from different walks of life everyday, it strikes me as odd that it would make me feel out of place. I claim that my faith frees me to love others, binding hatred, and loosening the chains of distrust and prejudice, yet I often catch myself, deep, very deep within, judging and mistrusting others. This is nothing other than self-righteous egotism.

If I'm honest with myself, I'm no better than anyone else is. In some areas I might be better, in others I may be worse. Yes, my coworkers live lives of preoccupation: money, career, status, popularity, and power. But often times I'm equally preoccupied: 'right living', 'morality', 'goodness', and 'holiness'. Yes, they do not give God glory for all the blessings he bestows upon them. But when I give God "glory" it's often times an act - an exercise of self-affirmation, not true piety. Yes, my coworkers live lives of idolatry. But I have my own idols to cast out.

In the end, I'm wretched and sinful, like all of us are. I need God just as much as they do.

I need to learn to love others regardless of their worldview. I need to continue sowing "kingdom values". I need to love all that is good, and hate all that is evil. Furthermore, hating evil does not imply hating the person who commits evil. Persons are not evil - all of us bear resemblance to our loving creator. But persons commit evil acts, and these acts are what we reject. But regardless of what my coworkers believe, whether they're right or wrong about this or that, I ought to always act ouf of love.

God loves every last one of us, and so must I. If I don't, I'm proved a crook. A fake. Ungenuine. A liar.

I can't love others out of my own strength. This sort of strength comes from outside me. It comes from God.