Rosewoods Report

Seven of us - MLe, MLo, JW, OYS, CM, RC, and I - met late afternoon on Friday, and embarked on a weekend get-away trip to Pender Harbour. We'd planned the weekend as a way of strengthening friendships and getting some good rest early in the semester, before the stress of papers, research, writing, and exams engulf us.

It was indeed a great time of community-building. Nothing brings people together more than "living under one roof."

Here are some highlights from our weekend:

* Food - CM did a phenomenal job with the food. We ate spaghetti, granola (MLo actually made it), Spanish tortillas, brownies, and plenty of fruits. MLo made amazing coffee too.

* Worship - on Sunday morning we had a wonderful time of worship together. MLe lead the singing, MLo lead the sharing, and I lead prayers. I was amazed by the depth of commitment and faith in our group. What a blessing!

* Canoeing - A few of us went canoeing. I loved the physical exertion to my arms!!! I should take up canoeing.... Furthermore, the scenery was stunning. I found myself praising God as I was rowing through the calm waters of the inlet.

* Games - We played a lot of games. My favourite was Rook. I've always enjoyed good card games.

* Mate - JW should be a salesman for yerba mate. He brought his guampa and bombilla, and convinced everyone that drinking mate was not only a great drink, but a great way to build community. Well done JW!!! We'll make a Paraguayan out of you yet...!!!

* Photos - I took over 200 pictures. MLo is a great photographer, so I got many tips on how to take good pics from him. It helps that we live in paradise here, so it's not difficult to find good photo targets!

* Impromptu road-soccer - JW's van broke down on our way to a hike on Sunday, so while stuck waiting for help, we brought out the soccer ball and played in the middle of the road. Sweet!

There were also a few disappointments:

* Van problems - JW was kind enough to drive us up in his van, but unfortunately it broke down twice, and that ended up wasting valuable time. It delayed our arrival on Friday by 4 hours, and it prevented us from going hiking on Sunday.

* It was not a restful weekend. In light of car troubles it was hard to relax. Personalitites were tested, characters stretched.

* Study - I only got in about 30 minutes of reading.

Back From Rosewoods

I'm back from Rosewoods, on Pender Harbour. Had an amazing time of fellowship with friends. God is so good to us.
















Will say more tomorrow.

I'm tired. It's 10:34pm. Going to sleep.

200

Today's my 200th post. It's been almost a year now since I started journaling.

Retreat-A-Mania

Each of the next 3 weekends I'm going on retreats.

This weekend, 1.20-22, I'm going up the Sunshine Coast to Pender Harbour with my Community Group.

Next weekend, 1.27-29, I'm going to Qualicum Beach with my church's Evening Service Committee.

Finally, the first weekend of February, 2.3-5, I'm heading up to Vernon with the a group of friends I affectionately call F1 Freaks, because of our obsession with Formula 1 motor racing.

Gonna take lots of pics to post here. :)

God And Doughnuts In America

I read an article today called The Christian Paradox. How a Faithful Nation Gets Jesus Wrong. This article can be found here.

This article articulates in a relatively short format the nature of American Christianity today. I found it very interesting, as it verbalizes many of the sentiments I have towards (against?) the type of Christianity proclaimed by our southern neighbours.* While some of these sentiments are probably justified, I do acknowledge that some of them are sinful. I need to examine my soul, discern where the sin lies, repent, and accept God's refreshing grace.

Still, the article exposes what I believe to be some very serious problems that contemporary American Christianity poses to the church, and for that matter, the world. Here are some thought-provoking quotes from the article:

"Three quarters of Americans believe the Bible teaches that 'God helps those who help themselves.' That is, three out of four Americans believe that this über-American idea, a notion at the core of our current infividualist politics and culture, which was in fact uttered by Ben Franklin, actually appears in Holy Scripture."

"America is simultaneously the most professedly Chrsitian of the developed nations and the least Christian in its behaviour."

"Despite the Sixth commandment, we are, of course, the most violent rich nation on earth, with a murder rate four or five times that of our European peers. We have prison populations greater by a factor of six or seven than other rich nations (which would give us plenty of opportunity for visiting the prisoners). Having been told to turn the other cheek, we're the only Western democracy left that executes its citizens, mostly in those states where Christianity is theoretically strongest. Despite Jesus' strong declarations against divorce, our marriages break up at a rate - just over half - that compares poorly with the European Union's average of about four in ten. . . Teenage pregnancy? We're at the top of the charts. Personal self-discipline - like, say, keeping your weight under control? Buying on credit? Running government deficits? Do you need to ask?"

In many American churches, ".. pastors focus relentlessly on you and your individual needs. Their goal is to service consumers - not communities but individuals . . . who aren't tightly bound to any particular denomination or school of thought. The result is often a kind of soft-focus, comfortable, suburban faith".

"A New York Times reporter visiting one booming megachurch outside Phoenix recently found the typical scene: a drive-through latte stand, Krispy Kreme doughnuts at every service, and sermons about 'how to discipline your children, how to reach your professoinal goals, how to invest your money, how to reduce your debt.' On Sundays children played with church-distributed Xboxes, and many congregants had signed up for a twice-weekly aerobics class called Firm Believers."

"Love your neighbour as yourself: although its rhetorical power has been dimmed by repetition, that is a radical notion, perhaps the most radical notion possible. Especially since Jesus, in all his teachings, made it very clear who the neighbour you were supposed to love was: the poor person, the sick person, the naked person, the hungry person. The last shall be made first; turn the other cheek; a rich person aiming for heaven is like a camel trying to walk through the eye of a needle. On and on and on - a call for nothing less than a radical, voluntary, and effective reordering of power relationships, based on the prinicple of love."

"A rich man came to Jesus one day and asked what he should do to get into heaven. Jesus did not say he should invest, spend, and let the benefits trickle down; he said sell what you have, give the money to the poor, and follow me. Few plainer words have been spoken. And yet, for some reason, the Christian Coalition of America - founded in 1989 in order to 'preserve, protect and defend the Judeo-Christian values that made this the greatest country in history' proclaimed last year that its top legislative priority would be 'making permanent President Bush's 2001 federal tax cuts.'

"It's hard to imagine a con much more audacious than making Christ the front man for a program of tax cuts for the rich or war in Iraq. If some modest part of the 85 percent of us who are Christians woke up to that fact, then the world might change.'

He concludes, "..money changers and power brokers will remain ascendant in our 'spiritual' life. Since the days of Constantine, emperors and rich men have sought to co-opt the teachings of Jesus. As in so many areas of our increasingly market-tested lives, the co-opters - the TV men, the politicians, the Christian 'interest groups' - have found a way to make each of us complicit in that travesty, too. They have invited us to subvert the church of Jesus even as we celebrate it. With their help we have made golden calves of oureslves - become a nation of terrified, self-obsessed idols. It works, and it may well keep working for a long time to come. When Americans hunger for selfless love and are fed only love of self, they will remain hungry, and too often hungry people just come back for more of the same."

That concludes my 'highly selective, completely biased', choice of quotations. I looked for some potential quotes that communicated a sense of hope on the author's part, but there just were none. Sorry.

***

* For the record, Canadian Christianity is (arguably) even worse off, but no one notices that because Canada is a small fish in the pond of Christianity. America, however, is a big fish, and big fish make big waves. In other words, the influence America has on the world's perception of Christianity is much much larger than the influence the great white north has.

Winter Courses: 2006

Here are the courses I'm taking this semester:

1 - History of Christianity II (Tues, Thur 9:30-11am) - whereas last semester we covered the history of the Christian faith from the early church to the reformation, this semester we're going to start with the reformation and continue on to present day Christianity. Here are some of the themes we'll touch on:

* Anglican Reformation (mid 16th Century)
* Catholic Counter Reformation, Catholic Doctrine and Missions (mid 16th century)
* The Puritans
* Protestant Scholasticism, the Englightenment
* German Pietism (1675-1725)
* Awakenings: Britain, Europe (1735-1785, 1785-1830)
* Christianity in America
* The Rise of Protestant Liberalism
* American Evangelicalism (19th Century)
* Catholicism (19th Century)
* The Rise and Fall of Evangelicalism
* The Rise and Fall of Social Gospel Liberalism
* Fundamentalism, Modernism (20th Century)
* Renewal Movements
* Expansions: China, Africa (20th Century)
* Pentecostal Explosion in Latin America (20th Century)
* Christianity in the West (20th Century)

2 - History and Theology of the Anglican Church (Fri 9:30am-12:30pm) - my first course with JIP!!! This course will survey the history of the church in England from the reformation to present day. It will include Evangelical, Anglo-Catholic, and Broad Church (Mainline) perspectives. Here are more specifics:
* Introduction: varieties of Anglican Theology today
* The English Reformation
* The Puritans
* Richard Hooker, Caroline Divines
* Rational Divinity, Revival Theology
* The Oxford Movement: Anglo-Catholicism
* The Broad Church Movement: Modernism
* 20th Century Anglicanism
* Evangelical Anglican Theology

I'm also taking the 2nd portion of Supervised Ministry. Details of this course can be found here under point #3.

Course content of #1 & #2 above overlap each other somewhat, but it will be interesting comparing and contrasting the approaches, viewpoints, and opinions of three professors (History of Christianity II is being co-taught by two professors) on these matters.

I'm looking forward to this semester. It'll be a ride. Hopefully a fun ride.

Lord, may the things I'm learning this semester lead to a deeper love of you.

Ingat!!!

Ingat means "take care" in Tagalog, the national language of the Philippines.

Today I spent time with a dear friend of mine, JR, who came home for Christmas from her missionary stint in the Philippines. We had a great day together.

She and I went to the Philippines together on a missions trip in 2002, and although our time together then was short (3 months), we developed a friendship that will surely last for the remainder of our lives. God has a way of bringing special people into our lives at the right time and place!! Thank you Lord!!

Here's how we spent our day together.

We met for breakfast at 8:30am Filipino time. Translation: 9am. We went for breakfast at Clew's, on Main Street. Afterwards we wento to visit my school. I showed her our classrooms, our chapel, Atrium, library, and bookstore. I'd hoped to introduce her to some of my friends, but none of them were around, and that was disappointing. (She probably thinks I have no friends!!!)

For lunch we visited with some other friends of hers who used to live in Toronto. We took this picture there (incidentally, I broke a crucial Filipino social convention by putting my arm around her .. terrible, terrible):

Then we went to Metrotown Mall, and walked around. She had to get some last-minute items before she returns to the Philippines tomorrow. I bought her some chcolate, as well as some to take along and give to Ate Bel and the rest of the AHFI team. At the mall, we also stopped for a little tea:

At 6pm I dropped her off at her niece's place in Surrey. Before we said good-bye, we prayed together. May God grant her JOY and may he protect her as she shares the good news of Jesus Christ in Mindanao.

It was good to see her. INGAT!!!

Take My Life, And Let It Be

Take my life, and let it be

consecrated, Lord, to thee;

take my moments and my days,

let them flow in ceaseless praise.

Take my hands, and let them move

at the impulse of thy love;

take my feet, and let them be

swift and beautiful for thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing

always, only, for my King;

take my lips, and let them be

filled with messages from thee.

Take my silver and my gold,

not a mite would I withhold;

take my intellect, and use

every power as thou shalt choose.

Take my will and make it thine,

it shall be no longer mine;

take my heart, it is thine own

it shall be thy royal throne.

Take my love; my Lord, I pour

at thy feet its treasure store;

take my self, and I will be

ever, only, all for thee.

_____

Words by Frances Ridley Havergal, 1874.

Sunny?

Can it be? Was it just my imagination or did the sun shine today?

Actually, it was not just my imagination. The sun came out, breaking the chain of 27 straight days of rain. My gosh, had the sun not come out we would have been set to break a new record of consecutive days of rainfall tomorrow, or, said differently, consecutive days without sunshine.

Welcome sun!!!

Bad Milk, Fire Hydrants, And Shampoo

One of the things that drives me bonkers about living in Vancouver is consumer friendships. If I received a $1 for every time a friend jammed out on a planned activity because of "unforseen circumstances", "double-booking" or "bad planning" or whatever, I'd earn enough to buy a place in Monaco or perhaps on the Italian Rivera. It's ridiculous.

Tonight I'd planned to spend time with a couple of guys, but one by one they cancelled out and our plans went down the drain like milk gone bad.

On the other hand, I'm planning a weekend get-away with our community group next weekend, and the level of non-commitment is astonishing. People are all talk, until it comes to action. Once action is required, the excuses come out like water out of a fire-hydrant.

I'm convinced that the root cause of this is utilitarianism and consumerism. I had a conversation with someone earlier this week who told me that post-modernity has reduced humanity to "consuming animals." We are consumers in every sense of the word: socially, physically, economically, and for goodness' sake, even spiritually. We make decisions not based on what is truthful and right, but on what's most practical and economical.

I think he was right. Everything we do nowadays is a consumer decision, based on what will benefit us most. We participate in whichever events will benefit us most, and worse, benefits are not even weighed in terms of people (ie - who do I want to spend time with?), but in terms of entertainment (ie - what will we do? will it be fun?) We put about as much thought and commitment into our friendships as we put into buying shampoo. In other words, not much.

It's frustrating. It's pathetic, and it's bloody shallow.

Sneeze

I'm still not well, been feeling sick for over 10 days now. Strange. Fever's gone. Headache's gone. Cough's almost gone. Throat feels better.

But I still have quite the killer cold.

My Mind's Made Up

I made up my mind over a month ago as to who I was going to vote for in our national election on January 23rd, but after listening to the national debate on the radio just now, I'm even more convinced of my decision.

Stephen Harper's the man. He's got character, integrity, and purpose. Fiscally he's responsible, while socially he's the only man amongst a bunch of liberal ideologue boys who speak of tolerance but have no idea what that word means.

Paul Martin's a liar, opportunist, and he's morally bankrupt. He looks at what people want on any given day and tries to give them that. That's not leadership. That's cowardice.

Jack Layton's the funniest of the lot. I appreciate some of his views on "helping working people", but unfortunately being "anti-corporation" and "anti-USA" doesn't solve the problems he claims to be able to solve.

I won't even waste my time and give the other contestants air-time.

Temporary Madness

"Love is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."
_____

Taken from the movie Captain Correll's Mandolin. Those who know me well know how much I dislike Hollywood, and I admit that it was a struggle for me to bring myself to quote something from a movie here. But this quote is (in my view) brilliant, regardless of its source.

For too long I've deceived myself by thinking that love is that "temporary madness", "breathlessness", "excitement", and "passion" referred to above. All along I've been looking for a feeling, when I should've been looking to make a decision.

Thanks for the quote and conversation, FL.

Lord have mercy.

Christ have mercy.

Lord have mercy.

Down But Not Out

Last night was a horrible night. I've been feeling under the weather for a few days now, but last night I finally succumbed to illness. Consequently I slept maybe 2 hours, if that much. The rest of the night I spent tossing and turning.

Sore throat, couldn't swallow anything, phlegm stuck in my throat.

Cough.

Killer headache. My head felt like was going to explode.

Sneeze.

Stuffed sinus.

Watery eyes.

Sweating. Fever came upon me like an evil spirit.

Today I spent pretty much all day in bed. Didn't even have the energy to go out for a 5 minute walk.

I'm sick of tea. I'm sick of ginger. I'm sick of this gigantic lump in my throat.

My one highlight of the day was taking a nice long bath. Oh and yes, surprisingly, I did get a lot of reading done.

Hopefully tomorrow'll be a better day.

Unannounced Visits Are The Best

I know in our Canadian culture unannounced visits are frowned upon, but I absolutely love them. I love it when someone takes a risk and drops by my place without prior warning. This happened yesterday, when my friend ML dropped by.

What more, she dropped by after 10pm. I mean, I could've been in bed by then, yet she took the chance to drop-in. Kudos to you, ML! We had a great time catching up, eating chocolate, and at the end I brought out the good-ol-Pfefferminzkuchen that are always so well received (especially by her!).

She's going back to Tokyo this weekend, where she continues to build her nest. Going to miss her. Gone are the kick-the-yellow-pages days.

Anyways, here are a few pics we took last night.

ML's happy to get the first bite:

Wait a minute, why doesn't Cub get a bite!?!?

Oh yeah, before I forget! Mom, can I have some more cookies? ML took them all.... ;)

Al-Watan

Al-Watan means "The Homeland" in Urdu, the language spoken in Pakistan.

It's also the name of one of my favourite restaurants in Vancouver, located at Fraser and 45th. It's a small "hole in the wall", but the food is amazing, cheap, and the owner/manager/waiter/cashier (all the same person) is a super guy.

































Today I went there for lunch with James:















Oh and before I forget, their tea is amazing too. It's called the "Al-Watan Tea", and costs $1. Can you believe it? $1!!!! Next semester I'll have to go there and park myself for an afternoon and drink tea and study.

Sick

I'm starting to get sick: sore throat and headache primarily. I think the busyness of the past few months is finally catching up to me. Solution:

* no coffee
* no cold drinks
* advil
* herbal teas
* hot water, lemon, and honey
* sleep

I'll give it 3 days. If the above recipe fails, I'll have to solve it the way they used to solve it in the olden days: rum or vodka. It's been a long time since I've reached into the liquor cabinet for some hard stuff.

Simplicity And Purity

"A man is raised up from the earth by two wings - simplicity and purity. There must be simplicity in his intention and purity in his desires. Simplicity leads to God, purity embraces and enjoys Him."

I love that last sentence: "Simplicity leads to God, purity embraces and enjoys Him."

Those are the words of Thomas à Kempis (1379 - 1471), in his book "The Imitation of Christ." Second only to the Bible as a source of religious instruction and Christian devotion, this is a true treasure of the church. I wish I'd have discovered and read it sooner.

Anyways, simplicity and purity are two characteristics of being a follower of Jesus that I want to explore further. The more I read the gospels, the more I see Jesus' call upon us as one of simple devotion to Him, avoiding the many trappings that our culture tries to seduce us with. Furthermore, purity is also an ongoing call that Jesus calls us to, lest we be distracted and fall by the wayside.

Therefore, I do not see these as unatainable "ideals", but rather, true marks of disciples of Jesus, that require constant grace from God upon us, his weak children, and our constant dependence upon Him, and yes, very hard work.

So there, those are my goals for this next year. Indeed, I expect these two marks to lead me along the straight and narrow path for the rest of my life.

Thomas à Kempis*:

"If your heart be free from ill-ordered affection, no good deed will be difficult for you. If you aim at and seek after nothing but the pleasure of God and the welfare of your neighbour, you will enjoy freedom within."

"If your heart were right, then every created thing would be a mirror of life for you and a book of holy teaching, for there is no creature so small and worthless that it does not show forth the goodness of God. If inwardly you were good and pure, you would see all things clearly and understand them rightly, for a pure heart penetrates to heaven and hell, and as a man is within, so he judges what is without. If there be joy in the world, the pure of heart certainly possess it; and if there be anguish and affliction anywhere, an evil conscience knows it too well."

As iron cast into fire loses its rust and becomes glowing white, so he who turns completely to God is stripped of his sluggishness and changed into a new man. When a man begins to grow lax, he fears a little toil and welcomes external comfort but when he begins perfectly to conquer himself and to walk manfully in the ways of God, then he thinks those things less difficult which he thought so hard before."

* Translated by Aloysius Croft and Harold Bolton. Mineola, New York: Dover, 2003. Page 32.

NYE @ Cub's

I hosted a New Year's Eve (NYE) party last night. It was lots of fun. I'd invited almost 50 people, knowing that in a flakey place like Vancouver, I'd be very lucky if half of them showed up. The party mentality in this city is as follows: "I'll go to the party that seems most promising in terms of fun (ie - food, music, entertainment, people), and in order to keep my options open I will not commit to any of the parties until as late as possible, in order to maximize the accuracy and certitude of my selection." Pathetic. But, I admit, I've done it too, so I'm included in the pathetic. All this to say that my calculation was correct: when inviting people to a party, expect at the most 50% turnout. My goodness, even the voting turnout in Canada is better than party attendance. Pathetic. Or, perhaps more accurately, apathetic.

Ok. Now that my bitter rant is over, I can get on with the business of telling what happened, because a lot did happen, a lot of fun was had, and people did come: over 20 of them. We had fun, laughed, listened to good music, drank wine, shared "best of the year," and had a toast to meeting next year's challenges with God's help. Here is how December 31st, 2005 unfolded:

10:20am - picked up CM who kindly helped with party prep: setup, food, decorations.

6pm - RS arrives to help with setup. We order pizza for dinner, prepare music playlist for the evening.

Welcome:

Deco:

8-9:30pm - Cub's freaking out, because by 9:30, only about 7 people had arrived. I was devastated, wondering how my friends could "betray" me on a night like tonight. I was thinking "I guess I know who my true friends are."

Friends (aka "Formula 1 Freaks"):

9:30-11pm - all of a sudden, within about 45 minutes, 15 people showed up. I was relieved. Truly. Conversation increased, the music got louder, and more wine bottles were opened. I was really thankful, because everyone brought something to share: wine, Bailey's, chocolates, cheesecake, pop, etc...

I love this photo:

IL & DC:

C &AJ L:

MB & Cub (I love my new shirt .. hehe):

11:20pm - Playlist master of the night RS "unleashes" relentless waves of Tiesto and Oakenfold mixes upon the masses. Does it get any better? I think not. Thanks R, job well done!

Mixmaster RS:

JW & AJL:

11:40pm - we asked everyone to fill up their glass with wine, and take a cherry. Then we formed a circle, and one by one we shared either a) what was special to us this past year, b) what we want to focus on this upcoming year, or c) both, a and b. (Thanks CM for suggesting this activity .. it went over very well, although I forgot to explain to everyone the significance of the cherry .. btw .. what is the significance of the cherry?) I was really blessed by some of the things that were said: people were thankful for their relationships (friends, spouses), work, and travels; and people were looking for a new year of less work and more time to enjoy life (although one person was looking forward to finding a job!), being closer to God and friends, and healing. My vision for the future is simplicity and purity.

11:50pm - we had a toast. Music was pumping, and we gave everyone NYE party toys, like masks, hats, and I even put on a blue wig. Everyone was standing up, mingling, and it looked like no one was marginalized or neglected, which often times happens at parties. It looked like people were having a lot of fun.

Sideshot, LD, RS, D, & BL:


Cub and EW wearing a party wig:

ET & DH:

12am, January 1, 2006 - smiles all around. After a coundown, people wished one another a happy new year, proposing more toasts. Noise. Music. Laughter. Hugs. Unfortunately, no kisses. ;)

12:10am - the thing I liked most about the evening was that after midnight, the momentum of the party did not disappear. In fact, for the next hour or so, interaction was great, people were getting to know one another, mingling, celebrating the new year , enjoying some good techno. (Well, I was enjoying the techno. Not sure everyone else was, but hey this was my party!!)

Group photo (some people missing):

1:20am - the exodus begins: people start going home.

2am - party ended.

3am - Cub went to bed.

Highlights of the party:

* people came!
* Cherry toast - a time of sharing
* A girl named B
* Decorations
* Paul Oakenfold and Tiesto
* A glass of Santa Rita Chardonnay
* Party toys
* Conversation with CL
* Cameras
* My new UCB shirt
* Friendships

Lord Jesus, thank you for your presence among us last night.

We give you thanks, praise, and glory!

Prost!!! Salud!!! Cheers!!!

Froehliches Neues Jahr, und Gottes reichsten Segen an Familie und Freunde!!!

Feliz Año Nuevo, y las bendiciones más ricas de Dios a familia y amigos!!!

Happy New Year, and God's richest blessings upon family and friends!!!

Decorations, Lamps, And A Greek Dinner

Today was really busy.

Shortly after 10am I picked up my friend CM and we went shopping for my New Year's Party tomorrow night. I'd asked her previously if she'd be willing to help with party preparations, and (good for me!!!) she'd said yes.

So we went to the $1 store and bought some decorations, and afterwards we went to a grocery store to get some more items. We figured the rest of the stuff we could get tomorrow morning.

Afterwards, we went to Ikea. We arrived by 1pm, and ate lunch there (and I had a grrrrrrrreat coffee). Then we looked around a little. We both needed some lamps, and I found a nice one for just $20.

The highlight of the day, however, came when I went to Abbotsford in the evening, to AJ&CL's. We met up for a Greek dinner there with AJ&C, JH, and our two guest visitors ML & M?. RS and MB couldn't make it. We had a super good time. Here is a group pic we took:



I got home after 1am. Now, bring on the new year!!!

Devastated

I'm devastated.

I had lunch with AEK today. She does not want to be my friend any longer.

I can't believe it.

I'm A Pro

Today I bought myself a Christmas present. My grandmother - God bless her soul - left some of her savings with her grandchildren before her death, and as a result, I was able to buy myself a wonderful new digital camera.

Over the past few years I've developed an interest in photography. I like carrying my camera around to different places and take pictures. Whether it's shots of God's wonderful creation such as gardens or mountains, or whether it's beautiful churches or gatherings with friends and family, I love taking pictures of meaningful moments.

I want to continue developing this interest; who knows, maybe it's a gift. It's a creative outlet. Maybe I'll take a photography course, and one day in the future I can help others develop this interest too.

So, from the *PowerShot S100:








To the *Pro1:

* Photos taken from the Canon website.

A Rainy Christmas Day

Today was a very rainy day. Except for the emptiness on the streets, it didn't feel like Christmas at all. I didn't go to church in the morning, because I went to the 11pm service last night, and stayed up late afterwards. Actually, CM and RS came over for some port wine and blue cheese, and I'm glad they did, because we had a really special time together.

But I did get to visit with people, and that's something I enjoyed.

Early afternoon I visted my friend ML, who arrived from Japan a week ago. She invited me to a family lunch. It was good to see her family again. Her mother cooked an amazing meal. She also introduced me to her uncle who was visiting from Eritrea. He was an interesting and very educated man, very smart, but he talked way too much. And he had an odd obsession with Apple Computers (for freaks sake people, it's a computer!!!) It seems to me that every family has an "uncle" who talks too much. Regardless, the L's invited me to come to an Ethiopian dinner on the 28th, so I'm very much looking forward to that.

Late afternoon I went to Abbotsford to visit with my relatives. I actually had no desire to go whatsoever. Whenever I visit with relatives I feel like I'm entering a "timezone" or "world" that's totally and utterly different and unlike mine. But anyways, I need to continue to deal with it, and accept them for who they are. I've no right to judge. One thing we did that I loved was sing hymns. At special occasions like Easter and Christmas, we always sing, and I love that. Partly because the hymns we sing are so beautiful and meaningful, but also, because our family has a great tradition of good musicians.

Late in the evening I went to visit JR, who came home from the Philippines for Christmas. She's been a missionary in Cotabato for the past two years. She has another year to go, but one of her financial supporters decided to pay for a trip for her to come home for Christmas. How cool is that! She told me how God's faithfulness has been so amazing during the past two years, and that was really good for me to hear. It's true: it's hard to realize and comprehend God's faithfulness when you're living in a place that has everything, when all your needs are met, and where no threats are evident. But, this security is really false and fleeting. Anyways, it was good to catch up with her. I hope to spend some more time with her before she returns to the Philippines.

All in all, this was a good day. I'm disappointed I didn't go to church in the morning, but spending time with friends and family is also a discipline worth cultivating.

O Holy Night!

O Holy Night!

The stars are brightly shining

It is the night of the dear Saviour's birth!

Long lay the world in sin and error pining

Till he appear'd and the soul felt its worth.

A thrill of hope the weary world rejoices

For yonder breaks a new and glorious morn!

Fall on your knees

Oh hear the angel voices!

O night divine

O night when Christ was born!

O night divine

O night, O night divine!

Led by the light of faith serenely beaming

With glowing hearts by His cradle we stand.

So led by light of a star sweetly gleaming

Here come the wise men from Orient land.

The King of Kings lay thus in lowly manger

In all our trials born to be our friend.

He knows our need

To our weakness is no stranger

Behold your King, before Him lowly bend!

Behold your King, before Him lowly bend!

Truly he taught us to love one another

His law is love and his gospel is peace.

Chains shall he break, for the slave is our brother

And in his name all oppression shall cease.

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we

Let all within us praise his holy name!

Christ is the Lord

O, praise his name forever

His power and glory evermore proclaim!

His power and glory evermore proclaim!

_____

Original words in French by Placide Chappeau de Roquemaure, 1847. Translated into English by John S. Dwight.

Suckers For Jesus

Tonight was my "Christmas Enchiladas and Sangria" party. I invited 15 of my family-less friends for a Mexican-themed (well, in terms of the food anyways) Chirstmas dinner. Eleven people came, which in my mind is a good turnout.

Early afternoon I met with my friends RC and CM, and went to Commercial Street to do some last-minute shopping for the party. We went to the $1 store to pick up decorations, and afterwards we dropped in at a few grocery stores to pick up food.

By mid-afternoon we were back at my place, cooking up a storm. On the menu was the following: enchiladas, rice, refried beans, and sangria. For dessert we had several yummy apple-crisps. RC and CM prepared the meal, CM did the decorations, and I made the sangria and did the general clean-up before the party.

CM and RC .. the party-prep team:

The table is set:

Guests arrived around 6:30, and mingled for awhile until dinner time. The food was simply awesome....my gosh, I was so astonished. We had a great time eating and conversing. After the meal we played a gift-exchange game that in my experience has always led to extreme displays of humanity's true colours: pride, selfishness, and arrogance; but in our group it seemed like we were all pacifists, and the game was (dare I say) almost boring! No one wanted to take the other person's present. Everyone was just way too gracious. Then again, it was probably just false piety: deep within we were burning with envy and jealousy.

There's a thief among us:

Finally TS wins the battle:

After the game we brought out the dessert, and had a "toast to Jesus" with sangria, where each of us shared a characteristic of Jesus we admire and seek to imitate : suffering, identifying with the "have-nots", humility, and the incarnation, were some of the traits mentioned that inspired us to following Christ faithfully. It felt strangely foreign to give a "prost", "salud", "cheers" to Jesus.

Then came the funniest part of the evening. CM brought out a bunch of candy-suckers, handed them out to us, and suggested that these suckers remind us that Christmas is about the celebration of God's entry into the world in a tiny little baby Jesus. As His followers, we too must become like little children. Someone else rightly suggested that we become suckers for Jesus. Hahaha, I thought that was rather funny, and well, true. Essentially, we are suckers for Jesus. What I found funny about the whole "sucker" thing was that it's something I would never have come up with. CM has a knack for taking simple (childish?) things and making super profound illustrations with them, all with a great sense of humour. It's a great blend of humour and theology which is something I have much to learn from.

Suckers for Jesus:

Suckers for Jesus (this time without suckers):

Afterwards, in typical Vancouver fashion, the party wound down quickly. It was like everyone had a revelation at the same time: "It's 11 o'clock, better get going home now." I don't get it. Whatever happened to "partying into the wee hours of the night!" If we can't party at Christmas, when can we party?

I was really blessed though, that everyone pitched in to help clean up my place. Wow! By the time everyone went home, my place was completely clean. That was a real blessing.

Thank you Lord, for special friends to spend special times with!

Bless each of them, according to your good and perfect will,

through Christ Our Lord.

Prayer And Fellowship Retreat

Today I spent the entire day at the Westminster Abbey in Mission with my friend JS. We left here at 9:40am, and arrived there by 11 o'clock.

Approaching Westminster Abbey:

After a quick tour of the monastery, we went inside the beautiful church to watch the monks at midday prayers. Prayer time was short, about 10 minutes. Afterwards, we went upstairs to the 4th floor of the visitor's housing unit, where we discovered a beautiful little corner with couches, and a gigantic window with a gorgeous view of the Fraser Valley.

After eating our home-packed lunches, we set to having our own service from the Book of Common Prayer. J knows so much about the Anglican tradition of liturgical worship, so it was beautiful to have a full service, with just the two of us. We began with the Order of Morning Prayer, which included (among other things) the Te Deum Laudamus, the Benedictus, the Apostles' Creed, the Collects for Peace and Grace, and the Prayer of St. Chrysostom. Then we followed it up with the 3 daily Scriptures for today, based on the liturgical church calendar: Psalm 107, Isaiah 55, and Revelation 8. We closed with the Lord's Prayer, and the Grace. It was a wonderfully beautiful time of worship. This book truly is a gem of the church. Its format lends itself to communal worship the way few other books do.

Sanctuary:

Then we caught up on our personal lives. I've been getting to know him this past semester, and he's a tremendous guy. It was good to share with him some of my past history, my roots, and my journey of faith.

Afterwards we did some individual reading, and then we went for a quick walk. Upon our return to our little corner on the 4th floor, we drank mate. J and his wife A have actually been to Paraguay before, so he was delighted to drink this traditional drink.

At 5:30 we went to the evening vesper prayers in the church. This session lasted 40 minutes, and it was beautifully reverent, solemn, quiet, and oh so peaceful. I got goosebumps listening to the angelic tones of the gregorian chants.

Architecture:

Throughout the day we discussed various topics: the purpose of theology (LOVE GOD MORE!!), traveling, Eucharistic theology, Charismatics, California, family histories, Anabaptists, Vancouver-rain, monks, Orthodoxy, and of course, mate.

We arrived at home at 7pm.

The Next 11 Days

Here are my plans between today and January 1st:

12.22.05
* Visit Westminster Abbey in Mission with JS: pray, meditate, fellowship, read, listen to the monks pray
* Rearrange bedroom
* Download pictures to computer

12.23.05
* Massive clean up of Cub's place
* Shopping for Cub's Christmas Enchilada & Sangria Dinner™
* Cub's Christmas Enchilada & Sangria Dinner™

12.24.05
* Order tickets for the World Cup
* Christmas shopping
* File paperwork
* Holy Communion

12.25.05
* Holy Communion
* Christmas with relatives in Abbotsford (Lord have Mercy!)
* Download loads of pictures

12.26.05
* Boxing Day Sale: Buy Digital Camera on sale
* Buy white turtleneck
* Research flight tickets to Los Angeles (January), and Germany (May, June)

12.27.05
* Meet with AEK
* Take inventory of personal library
* Read Imitation of Christ, History of the Church of England

12.28.05
* Read: Imitation of Christ, History of the Church of England
* Pay bills, taxes, parking fines
* File paperwork

12.29.05
* Read: Imitation of Christ, History of the Church of England
* File paperwork

12.30.05
* Get-together with 'the gang': RS, JH, MB, AJ&CL. Guest visitor: ML
* Shopping for Cub's New Years Party

12.31.05
* Another cleanup session of Cub's place
* Shopping for New Years Party
* Cub's massive New Years Party

1.01.05
* Sleep
* New Year's Day Service

Other things that I will surely do: chat online with FL, take loads of pictures (especially after I buy the new camera), visit with ML who is visiting from Tokyo, watch Narnia: The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, drink mate and coffee, and make time to visit with other friends

Calhoun's

Today was a really good day, because I finally got to speak with AEK. We met at Calhoun's for coffee. It was so good to see her. I've really missed her. It was the first time I'd seen her since September 13th.

We spent 3 hours together catching up. We talked mostly about our last semester, and the challenges and difficulties we both encountered. Then we began talking about our past, and it didn't take long before we were both crying. The fact that this took place in a bakery/cafe with other people around didn't bother us at all. I like it when I'm so caught up in something that the rest of the world becomes meaninglessly peripheral.

We both explained ourselves, our actions, and our frames of mind. I told her that my goal in meeting her was one thing: to reconcile and begin a new friendship. Getting to know each other afresh could be very meaningful for both of us, perhaps in a way that's even more profound than our relationship ever was. I've not shut the door on a future relationship with her. In fact, seeing her today made me realize how much I appreciate and miss her.

At the same time, it's still very evident that she's a broken person. I really messed her up. She doesn't trust me, and why would she, sometimes I don't even trust myself!! She said she'd think about our conversation before responding. We agreed to meet again next Tuesday, the day after Boxing Day.

Lord, have mercy on AEK and heal her.

Bless her and keep her in your comforting care.

Have mercy on me too, oh God.

Show me what I ought to do, and help me to do it.

Through Jesus Christ, let it be so.

The God We Hardly Knew

No one can celebrate
a genuine Christmas
without being truly poor.
The self-sufficient, the proud,
those who, because they have
everything, look down on others,
those who have no need
even of God - for them there
will be no Christmas.
Only the poor, the hungry,
those who need someone
to come on their behalf,
will have that someone.
That someone is God.
Emmanuel. God-with-us.
Without poverty of spirit
there can be no abundance of God.

_____

A suitable poem for the 4th Sunday of Advent, by Oscar Romero. Come Lord Jesus, Come!!!

Three Weeks Without A Shave

I've been receiving different reactions and feedback to my beard. Women compliment me, saying it "looks good on me." Guys, on the other hand, tell me I look like an Amish Mennonite. I wish I knew who was telling the truth!

Well, whatever. Three weeks without a shave. Actually, that's not entirely true. Earlier this week I had to "fix" up my beard a little, because it was starting to look a little unkempt.

The itchiness is also over. Well praise be!!! On the other hand, I find myself playing with my beard a lot, rubbing my fingers through it. Not sure why. I'm sure psychologists could analyze my behaviour and attribute it to all kinds of reasons. Having said that, I'm glad I don't know any psychologists, actually, because I really don't want to deal with their nonsense.

Anyways, I think I'll shave after Christmas. That way I can say I didn't shave for a month, and have memories of a bearded Christmas.

Another Semester Bites The Dust

My semester is finally done. I wrote my final History exam earlier this afternoon. I did well (thanks to the help of our TA) in studying Luther and Calvin, because the essay question I picked was "Compare and contrast Martin Luther and John Calvin in terms of their lives, their theologies, and their impact on the Reformation." A good and interesting topic.

Now I can relax. Finally. I'm tired, and need a break.

Checkmarks And Stars

Wow, sometimes I'm impressed with myself. Better stop there, before I'm accused of being proud.

I finished two projects today:
√ - My 10 week Bible Study on Colossians is done. Ready for hand-in. I'm pretty happy with it. And I must say I learned a lot about St. Paul, and the letter to the church at Colossae!

√ - My book report is done too. Just finished it 10 minutes ago. I speed-read (is that a word?) through 150 pages in less then two hours. For me, a slow-poke reader, that's pretty good.

OK .. now all that's left is my final exam in history, which covers the Middle Ages to the Reformation. I'm going to prepare myself by focusing essentially on the following two themes, and then hope and pray that they will be on the exam. ;)

Here are the topics:
* - Monastic Renewals during the Middle Ages: What were the conditions under which monastic renewals occurred? How were they a pre-cursor to Martin Luther? Compare several of the renewal movements: Cluny, Citeaux, Franciscan, Dominican.

* - Martin Luther: Did he destroy the church? Reluctant Reformer? Compare and contrast with Calvin, Erasmus, Zwingli, or Simons.

Maybe I'm A Scholar After All

No .. not because of any intellectual fortitude that has suddenly come upon me, but because of:

a) the beard that's gradually filling out my lower face; and
b) my formal attire today in class.

Two buddies of mine were teasing me in class today, saying "Cub, you look like a scholar. You're wearing dress pants, a turtleneck, and you're growing a beard."

I wish I'd have known earlier that being a scholar's all about "looks." Had I known this I'd have looked scholarly a long time ago. It would probably have helped out on my grades!

Throwing The Net Into The Sea: A Prayer

Long before your earthly arrival, Lord Jesus, the Psalmist said the following: “The Mighty One, God the Lord, speaks and summons the earth from the rising of the sun to its setting. Out of Zion, the perfection of beauty, God shines forth. May our God come, and not keep silence; before him is a devouring fire, around him a mighty tempest. He calls to the heavens above and to the earth, that he may judge his people: “Gather to me my faithful ones, who made a covenant with me by sacrifice!” The heavens declare his righteousness, for God himself is judge!

He concluded with these words from you, oh God: “Mark this, then, you who forget God, lest I tear you apart, and there be none to deliver! The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies me; to one who orders his way rightly I will show the salvation of God!”
_____

Heavenly Father, Precious Son, and Holy Spirit: We worship you. We adore you. We praise your Holy Name; for your name is above all names, there is none like you. You are righteous. You are Good. You are the God of our salvation. We thank you for that.

We thank you that through the sacrifice of your dear Son, Our Lord Jesus Christ, our sins, and our rebellion, are wiped clean. Thank you that you cleanse us, you restore us, you heal us, and you guide us to a new life: a life centred on you.

Purify us oh God, and continue to draw near to us. Mould us to the image of your Son Jesus. Holy Spirit, we welcome you to work in our lives. We welcome you to tear down walls of pride, greed, envy, and hatred, and please replace them with generosity, kindness, joy, and love. Open our hearts to receive your love. Open our eyes, so that we may see you. Open our ears, so that we may embrace your word. Restore unto us the joy of your salvation!

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

We pray for your church, Lord Jesus. As your bride, we pray that the church would love the world the way you loved the world, and that she would be a reminder to all, that we have not been abandoned on the wastelands of history, but that you are always awaiting us with open arms. May your church reach out in humility, truth, and love.

Protect your church, Lord Jesus. Keep her eyes focused on you, amidst so much temptation to follow the pursuits of this world. For the Anglican Church of Canada, grant repentance and a turning around in faithful obedience to you. Forgive our divisive ways, and unite us as one in your truth, so that the world may believe that you were sent by the Father. May we preach the gospel of your kingdom, for you lived, died, and rose again; and may this lead to repentance, forgiveness, and the restoration of many people.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

On this 3rd Sunday of Advent, we eagerly await the celebration of your birthday, Lord Jesus. We are counting down the days to that special, blessed day, when you left your dwelling with the Father, and became one of us. Lord, we are so grateful to you. We anticipate the time on Christmas Day when together with all the stars and all the galaxies we will rejoice, and with the angels we shall sing for joy, for salvation has come, hope has arrived, deliverance is here!

In the meantime, grant us strength, energy, and much peace of heart and mind. Give rest to those that are hard at work in the church, marketplace or school; embrace the lonely with your love, and touch the sick with your healing. Continually remind us of the true meaning of Christmas, dear Jesus.

We pray especially for your healing grace upon AL, K, and D and his family. Protect PC in Korea, and provide him with Christian fellowship. And we pray for the salvation of PVT, GO, and KJ. In your mercy, continue to reveal your purpose for their lives.

Finally, we quietly bring before you our individual concerns or lovedones you’ve placed on our hearts.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

All this we pray with thanksgiving, joy, and peace in our hearts;
In the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

Amen.

____

Evening Service Prayer at St. John's Anglican Church, based on Matthew 13:47-52, and Psalm 50: 1-6, 22-23.

Two Weeks Without A Shave

Exactly two weeks ago was the last time I shaved. Wow .. what freedom, not to shave every 2nd day.

This is the longest time I've ever gone without shaving, since my teens. I feel like congratulating myself, patting myself on the back. Why I'm not sure, but somehow I feel I've accomplished something.

Oh the little things that amuse me.....

Currently Listening - December '05

Artist: Ralph Vauhan Williams (1872-1958)
Album Title: Mass in G Minor (with the Westminster Cathedral Choir). CD includes Judith Bingham's Mass (with the Westminster Cathedral Choir and organist Robert Quinney). Master of Music is Martin Baker.
Producer: Hyperion Records
Release: 2005.

An Encounter At The Stairwell

It's 9:37am. I'm walking up the stairs in a hurry, on my way to class. I see someone else coming down. I look up, and realize it's her. No one else is around.

We make eye contact. At first we both look away in a mixture of surprise and uneasiness, but then we look at each other again. This time we both smile. But we continue our journeys, passing by each other without saying anything.

Then in the matter of a split second, I decide to break the silence. I have something to say.

Cub: "A, do you have a moment?"
AEK: "Ok."

I run back down the stairs. There's still no one else around. We're alone in the stairwell.

Cub: "Can we talk briefly?"
AEK: "OK." She smiles.
Cub: "My heart's burdened." My voice cracks. I fight back emotion, even tears.
AEK: "Yeah, I was going to call you."

Silence and nervousness, for about 5 seconds.

Cub: "When could we talk? Do you want to wait until next weekend, after all our assignments, exams, and papers are done?"
AEK: "Yeah. Sometime over Christmas."
Cub: "Ok. Have a good day."
AEK: "You too."

We both continue on our ways. I arrive in class, in a bit of a frenzy. For about 15 minutes, my eyes must have been glazed: trying to make sense of the brief encounter.

She looked good. She looked beautiful.

History!

My history paper's done, finally!!! I handed it in this morning.

It was actually a bit of an ordeal to get it all done. My original idea was to write about how the central aspects of Christian worship - Holy Communion and Preaching - changed from the Early Church to the Reformation.

I went to see my professor about it, and her respone was luke-warm. I really like her - she's very kind, humble and gentle, yet brilliantly smart - yet somehow her response deflated me. She suggested I take my research in a different direction. She didn't want me to just drop down facts on a paper. She didn't want a survey of Christian history. She wanted me to make a statement, a thesis.

So I did a ton of extra research, based on her suggestions. Yet, I didn't want to give up on all my ideas either, so I ended up blending both, and I'm not sure that was such a good idea.

In the end, a paper that was supposed to be 3,000 words turned out to be close to 6,000!! I edited it 3 times, and deleted over 1,000 words. My final copy had 4,100 words, still much over the accepted limit. But I decided to hand it in anyways. Editing is such hard work, and I'd already spent so much time on it, that cutting out even more felt like cutting out the very core of me, since I'd put so much work into it.

Anyways, it's done. My history paper's history.

Long Ago, Prophets Knew Christ Would Come

1.
Long ago, prophets knew
Christ would come, born a Jew,
Come to make all things anew;
Bear his People's burden,
Freely love and pardon.

Ring, bells, ring, ring, ring!
Sing, choirs, sing, sing, sing!
When he comes, when he comes,
Who will make him welcome?

2.
God in time, God in man,
This is God's timeless plan:
he will come, as a man,
Born himself of woman,
God divinely human.

3.
Mary, hail! Though afraid,
She believed, She obeyed.
In her womb God is laid:
Till the Time expected,
Nurtured and protected.

4.
Journey ends! Where afar
Bethlehem shines, like a star,
Stable door stands ajar.
Unborn Son of Mary,
Saviour, do not tarry!

Ring, bells, ring, ring, ring!
Sing, choir, sing, sing, sing!
Jesus comes, Jesus comes,
We will make him welcome!

-----

Words by Fred Pratt-Green.

I Knew It!

I knew it was going to snow today! I think I'm a prophet (more on that another day, maybe tomorrow). I love, love, love the snow: it brightens my soul to the very core!

Here are some pictures I took upon arrival at Regent College today:

Winter

Winter's here. The temperature is close to 0C, and the sky is laden with thick, white clouds. I walked outside tonight briefly, and it seems that it will snow very soon. Perhaps even tonight.

Come snow come! I welcome you with open arms!

Centre of Worship

I've been doing research on the history and nature of Christian worship for the past 2000+ years, and have learned the following:

* in the early church, the centre of Christian worship was Holy Communion and Preaching;
* in the middle ages, the centre of worship became the administration of sacraments; preaching fell by the wayside;
* during the reformation, Holy Communion has become a mere "memorial" afterthought, in favour of preaching.

Personally, I think the centre of Christian worship should be Holy Communion, because the act transcends my mood, my opinion: Jesus died and rose again, and focusing on that reality is an act of worship that far transcends any mood or opinion.

If preaching becomes the focus, then my attention too often is turned to the preacher: what he says, what he doesn't, how he says it, his sense of humour (or lack of it), his mood, his opinions, his theological views, and the list goes on and on. The key is that he - not Christ - becomes the centre of attention. Or conversely, if I'm in a bad mood, or if I disagree with his views or opinions, again, I'm focusing not on Our Lord, but on myself.

By making Holy Communion the central act of Christian Worship we can never go wrong, becasue the focus will always be on Jesus Christ.

That has been a revelation to me over the past few days.

Booksale

Today was one of the classic events we have at the Regent College Bookstore every semester: the midnight madness sale. The bookstore is open until midnight, and all kinds of books are on sale. I always go there, and end up hanging out until, well, midnight.

Problem is, I go there with no real goal. I know that there'll be lots of great books on sale, but because I don't really know what books I need, and because I have a healthy dose of prudence that prevents me from needlessly spending money, I come home pretty much empty-handed every time.

Aside from the booksale, I did three other things today:

* met with JW for breakfast. He's getting confirmed at our church next Sunday, and I've had the privilege of journeying alongside him for the past few months.

* research, research, research. I had a minor setback with my professor yesterday. I met her to discuss the paper I plan to write, and she was not as happy about my direction as I was hoping she would be. She suggested some changes to my plans. Frustrating......

* dinner with N&NJ. They're such a cool couple. I enjoy visiting them. I wish I could see them more often.

Crunch-Time

Over the next few weeks I will write less in my journal, because I'm just too busy with my studies. Here are the projects I have to finish in the next month:

* History Paper: "The Eucharist and the Word in Church History", 12.09.05.
* Christian Equipping and Ministry: Create a 10-week study on discipleship, 12.09.05.
* History Final Exam: 12.16.05.
* Book Report: "The Equipping Pastor", 12.16.05.

Wealth

Tonight I went to a fund raiser for the training program I'm involved with at my church. I'm astonished at the wealth of parishoners at my church. Many of them are millionaires.

I have a problem with that. It seems anti-gospel to me, to be a Christian and wealthy.

Then again, it's easy for me to say that. My very mouth is being fed by these wealthy people, who generously support this training program, and who pay my monthly stipend.

In addition to that, my earthly father's riches are also sustaining me. They have done so since the day of my birth.

So, while I have an idealistic, theological problem with Christian wealth, pragmatism, realism, and practicality of everyday life dictates otherwise.

Friends, Family, And Fun

Tonight was a super fun night. I invited four of my best friends from Regent and took them to Abbotsford to meet my parents. We had a great time.

We arrived in Abbotsford at 6:30 (we were 30 minutes late), and shortly after our arrival dinner was served in the dining room. There was probably enough food for an entire village, but my goodness, was the food ever delicious. There were at least 4 different vegetable/salad dishes, chicken, and steak, and for dessert we had coffee, tea, pie, fruit salad, and a chocolate cake with rum.

After the meal we sat down in the family room and had a nice conversation. We talked about some good and relevant topics, including our family backgrounds, interests, and future directions.

I'm thankful for this evening. I've struggled to be happy lately, but tonight was a brightspot.

Thank you Lord for friends and family to share life with.

Below is a picture my dad took during dinner. From left to right: Mom, Cub, IYB, ML, AH, and CM:

Maybe I should introduce my church friends to my parents too. It's good for them to know whom I spend time with.

36

I suppose today I should post something "happy" and "joyful" because today was my birthday, but I'm feeling pretty shitty nowadays, so I can't really say this day was that special. Here's how I spent it:

7:30am - woke up, prepared breakfast, drank mate

9am - did research for my History of Christianity paper; I'm going to write on the history of Christian worship

11am - went to library to do more research, pick up more books

3pm - prepared for Fusion event, God and Film

6pm - went to church; Fusion event went well .. 32 people showed up, movie was good, discussion was also very good

11pm - Steamworks with a great bunch of friends; this was definitely the highlight of the day; it was especially good to have two of my best friends present: CM and RS. Another friend I'm enjoying getting to know, EW, was also there; unfortunately, I forgot to bring along my camera, and so I was unable to take any pics

Low

I'm feeling really down lately. I lack confidence and as I said a few weeks ago, I feel completely inadequate.

I'm questioning my ability to do ministry in the church. I feel weak and totally insecure.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner!

Simplicity Of Faith

Praise God! Four people attended tonight’s session on prayer. We shared a meal together, watched the video, and discussed our thoughts and questions for almost an hour. We were all on the same page, too, which was a blessing. All of the participants acknowledged the importance of prayer as a “lifeline” to God. And all of us admitted how difficult it is to “pray continually.”

After the session, a few people from the other group joined us and together went out for some drinks.

There is one challenge I will need to be sensitive to: two of our participants are not interested in “deep theological, intellectual discussions”, whereas the other two are. I definitely lean towards the latter, and need to be mindful and respectful of those who have a very simple approach to faith. Jesus said: “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.” (Matthew 18:3-4)

Weakening The Chains Of Sin

I'm coming to realize the importance of showing vulnerability. It's in vulnerability that we show strength of character.

I met with a friend for an afternoon coffee today. He's a new Christian, and I have to say I was truly humbled by our time of sharing. In the matter of an hour, he opened himself up to me - completely - warts and everything.

I'm amazed at his life: story after story of sexual and alcohol abuse, and marital troubles too. What amazed me most was his openness about his problem with lust. Simply amazing. He said "Every time I tell someone about this problem, the chains of sin are weakened." Wow. How true. The more we confess our sins to one another, the more our slavery to sin is exposed, and the more open we leave ourselves to the healing powers of others in the Holy Spirit.

We talked about the church, and her inability or unwillingness to recognize how prevalent sexual brokenness is among Christians.

We closed in prayer, and decided to meet again. I look forward to it. I have a lot to learn from him.

Remembering Rememberance Day

Rememberance Day has never meant much to me, because I grew up in a pacifist Christian denomination.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. This is an issue that I've never thought about much. I haven't "personalized" this particular theological point of view.

Books, Brunches, And Boxers

Today I basically did three things: 1- study; 2- brunch with RC in Richmond; and 3- dinner with mom and dad.

1- Studying went fine. I'm quite enjoying the book I'm reading for one of my classes. I'll post it on my cubsseeds blog soon.

2- Brunch with RC went fine too. We made scrambled eggs, sausages, and toast. I also made one of the best coffees I've made in a long time. We also studied, so the afternoon had a nice balance of friendship and hard work.

3- Dinner with mom and dad went fine. Dad and I had our usual good discussion, and mom and I had our usual tussle: she does not respect my wish to live simpler. Everytime I see her she showers me with gifts, money, underwear, blankets, and who knows what else. I don't understand it, and I'm getting increasingly unnerved by it. When is enough enough?

A Good Session

Today we had a great Christianity Explored session. Praise God! Two people came: our “faithful” returnee (JW), who continues to show eagerness to know God deeper; and the young woman (KJ) who has been wanting to come, but because of various circumstances has been unable to come.

Tonight we talked about the Holy Spirit as counsellor, guide, and comforter in the life of a Christian (John 14, 16), provider of “peace beyond understanding” (Philippians 4), and giver of a great “gift” (Galatians 5). The discussion was lively, the questions were relevant, and the interactions genuine. I also felt adequately prepared.

We talked about spending some time together in addition to our regular Wednesday nights. We agreed that after next week’s session we would go out. In addition, two participants from week one will hopefully return. They spent the last three weeks travelling through Israel.

Before our meeting tonight I had a meeting with my mentor, JEE. We had a good discussion about personal as well as faith matters. I’m thankful.

Lately...

...I've been missing AEK like crazy. I miss her friendship. I miss her company. I miss her steadfastness. She was always so accepting of me and who I am.

I still wonder all the time why I couldn't accept her. Surely it's because of my shortcomings, not hers.

I've even considered "winning" her back. But I must resist, because I need to discern why I miss her. Do I miss her because I'm lonely? Or do I miss her because I genuinely care for her?

I have not contacted her or heard from her since I received her letter a month ago. Even though we go to the same school, I never see her; she makes a point of avoiding me like the plague. Everytime I see her I still want to talk to her, but I need to respect her request for distance.

The Elephant Analogy

Two days ago on my way home from work I had a conversation about God with my coworker CG. She knows I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, and she respects that, but she believes that truth (ie - God) is unknowable. Furthermore, she believes that all religions are equal, leading to God. She gave me the following analogy to explain her point:

Four blind men discover an elephant. They grope about, seeking to understand and describe the elephant. One of them grabs the trunk, and concludes the elephant is "a snake." Another one, grabbing the tail, says "It's a rope." The third one has a hold of the leg, and describes it as "a tree." The last one, feeling the side of the elephant says "I think the elephant's a wall!"

She continued by telling me that this analogy is descriptive of all the religions of the world. Just as all four blind men are telling the "truth" about the elephant, so all religions are "right " in explaining their experience of God. The conclusion follows, that all religions are equally valid, and no one religion can claim itself to be the "unique holder of truth."

I've heard this analogy before, and I've heard the "rebuttals" to it, but at the time of our discussion, try as I might, I could not think of the right response. Since then I've reflected a little, read a little, and talked to a good friend, about an "appropriate answer" to this analogy. Here are the three places the analogy breaks down. Hopefully I'll remember this the next time I'm in a similar situation.

1) The elephant. The blind men are attempting to describe something real and factual: an elephant. The elephant is a certain way, and not another, irrespective of our opinion. Elephants are what they are, and to describe them as other than what they really are is erroneous. The same can be said of God. God has certain attributes or qualities, whether we believe it or not, and to deny these attributes is a mistake. Therefore, not all descriptions of God - or elephants, for that matter - are equally valid. Some are true. Some are false.

2) All four men are mistaken. They were describing an elephant, not a snake, a rope, a tree, or a wall. Their opinions are not equally true - in fact, they are all equally false! In terms of pluralism, the best the analogy can do for us is prove that all religions are false, not true! Applying this analogy to God, at best, we could describe what God is not. God would then be the sum of our misconceptions about him!

3) The men are blind. This is the most important point. The analogy leaves out any account of special revelation. The dynamics of the analogy would change completely if a "fifth man", a credible man with sight, were to come and describe the elpehant as he really is. The same is true for God. The truth about God could be known if someone was to reveal who God is. Jesus Christ claimed to be this "fifth man" who could see. He claimed to be the one who could explain who God is. In fact, he made himself "equal with God." (John 5:18).

Even today, Christ speaks to us, and tells us that he "opens eyes" and shows us the true nature of God. In fact, this is why people - then and now - cannot accept him. He claims to be "the way, the truth, and the life" (John 14:6), the "bread" that satisfies our spiritual hunger (John 6:35).

I unashamedly got these rebuttals (and expanded on them, so as to better understand them myself) from here.

Last Day At PMC

Today was my last day of work at PMC. Well .. sort of. "Officially" it was my last day - my computer account will be cancelled, my cubicle given to someone else, and my access pass inactivated - but I've been told that there may be other opportunities for work "occasionally."
















Regardless, it has been a true blessing to be with the company so long. I began there in July of 2003. Wow .. two and a quarter years! God has been so faithful, supplying part-time work during the school year, and full-time work in the summers. I’m truly grateful, and give God all the glory for his provision.

Cub's Cubicle:















But I sense a new chapter – yet again – is beginning. I’m an intern at my church, and while the pay there is not what I’m used to, it is, nevertheless, pay. I will just have to start living within more reasonable means. This is where I feel I ought to be anyways. But I admit that giving up a well-paying job is not easy.

Cub's Cubicle 2:















But I take this as the next step in my life-pilgrimage towards the Kingdom. I just am not passionate towards HRIS work. It leaves me unfulfilled and empty inside. I want to be directly involved in kingdom-work. I want to point people towards Jesus Christ.

I was really touched by how generous and caring my co-workers were. I was blown away. Not only did they take me out for lunch, but they also gave me a $65 gift certificate for Chapters bookstore, and a $50 gift certificate for Anton’s Pasta Bar, my favourite Italian Restaurant in all of Vancouver. I was truly humbled by their generosity!

One thing I will not miss though, is work-coffee. The coffee we have at work is possibly the worst coffee on the face of the planet. I’m sure if I took a handful of mud, poured hot water, milk and sugar on it, it would probably taste similar to the stuff below.

Work Coffee:

Pleasant Surprise

Today I received a very pleasant surprise, as at the beginning of class we received our marks from our history test a few weeks ago.

I couldn't believe it. I got an A.

I found that very encouraging. It made my day special.

Inadequate

That's how I feel tonight, after an evening of Christianity Explored at my church. I even prepared myself well for the evening: I previewed the video twice, took notes, arrived at the church early (lest I feel rushed), and met with my co-leader to talk about the topic of discussion, the church.

I'm realizing that I try to intellectuallize the gospel too much. Actually, I try to intellectualize everything nowadays, and that's surely a by-product of talking theology in class all day, everyday.

Instead of talking from the head, I need to talk from the heart. Rather than speaking for Jesus based on books I've read or issues I've studied, I need to let Jesus speak for himself through the gospels.

Lord Jesus, help me!

Thank God that he works through my weaknesses. Thank the Lord for choosing to work through my inadequacies. Thank YHWH that salvation depends not on my skill or actions, but on His sacrifice on the cross.

Thank you loving Father, for opening the door to you through Your Son. Thank you Holy Spirit for consolling and guiding me onward and forward.