Friendly But Distant

Today was the first time I spoke with AEK since our breakup. We had a short lunch together.

She was friendly, but I could tell she was attempting to be distant. The most awkward moment came when we had to return "stuff" that we'd exchanged during our time together: she returned the keys to my apartment; I returned a cd.

We both still have more to return.

This whole thing's affecting me more and longer than I thought it would.

Fall Courses: 2005

Today is the first day of the Fall 2005 semester at Regent College:



Here are the courses I've enrolled in, with a little additional information on each course (taken from the course syllabus):

1 - History of Christianity I (Mon, Thur 9:30-11am) - tracks the history of the Christian faith in all its various traditions:
* The Early Church, Early Development in Christian Doctrine (100-312AD)
* The Patristic Period (Greek Fathers) (312-600AD)
* Organization and Administration of the Church, the Church and Women, the rise of Monasticism, the Development of Trinitarian Theology
* St. Augustine of Hippo
* The Eastern Church
* The Celtic Church, Continental (European) Church (500-1000AD)
* The Middle Ages: Renewal, decline, renewal, dissent, reform
* The Reformation: Luther, Radical Reformers, and Calvinism

2 - Christian Education and Equipping (Mon 11am-2:30pm) - the Making of Maturing Disciples of Jesus:
* Church Work and the Work of the Church, The Call of Discipleship
* The Gospel of Matthew as "Discipleship Manual", Ephesians as "Maturing Disciples Handbook" * St. Paul the Discipleship Maker
* Hebrews: A Call to Discipleship
* Theology and Philosophy of Christian Education: teaching, learning
* The Church as Seminary, So What is the Gospel We Preach?
* The Church as Equipper, Equipping for the Markeplace
* Praying, listening to the Voice of Jesus, Johannine Literature

3 - Supervised Ministry (Alternate Wed 2-5:30pm) - consists of a practical internship at my church, combined with lectures on the following themes:
* The Shape of Pastoral Vocation
* Funerals, Weddings
* Leading a Congregation through a Church Year
* Spiritual Health in the Pastoral Vocation
* Ordinances and Sacraments: Baptism, Eucharist
* Conflict in the Church
* The Church and Community

Of these courses, the course I look forward to the most is the course on the history of the church. I yearn to learn about the early church: what were the issues, how did they deal with them, what did they do well (conversely, what are we doing well), and what did they not do so well (and what are we not doing so well).

On Monks In Mission

I spent this weekend at the Westminster Abbey Monastery in Mission. After a busy month highlighted by my breakup with AEK and the death of my grandmother, I decided to go to a place where I could be away from everyone and everything familiar, and spend time with God. I was there from Friday evening until today afternoon.

View from my Room:


I've had a little exposure to the monastic life through various courses I've taken over the past two years, and I must say that monastic life really appeals to me. This particular monastery follows the Benedictine tradition, which centres around oratio (prayer) and vocatio (work), and that is literally how they structure their life: they are almost completely self-sufficient (they have their own farm, vegetable gardens, and orchards, and they maintain and operate everything on their property) and they pray continually. During the two days I was there, this was their prayer schedule:

* 5am - Lauds (Worship)
* 10am - Sung Mass
* 11:55am - Midday Prayer
* 4:35pm - Vespers and Benediction
* 7:15pm - Vigil

This schedule is repeated 7 days a week.

Westminster Abbey:


Sanctuary:


The monks were kind and generous. They invited me to particapte in their prayers, and they also invited me to eat lunch and dinner with them. It was very enriching indeed. Two monks in particular were very kind: Father Placidus and Father Mark.

Father Placidus and I shared breakfast both days, and we had some very interesting discussions. He was very interested in my life, and when he found out I attend Regent College he was very pleased. Father Mark was also very friendly. After dinner once, we walked down to one of the classrooms in the monastery and just sat down and talked. We talked about the Reformation, the current state of the global church, and had a very interesting conversation about current social issues relating to life and sexuality.

We may criticize the Catholic Church on many issues, but on the theology of the human body and its relation to the sanctity of life, whether it be marriage, abortion, euthanasia, the use of contraception, or homosexuality, there is no other institution on earth that protects the gift of life the way the Catholic Church does.

Anyways, I digress.

At any rate, all this to say that the monks for the most part were approachable and friendly. Upon asking Father Mark why he chose this lifestyle, he responded with something along the lines of 'I wanted to totally and completely devote my entire life to God, serving and loving others, praying "at all times", while using the vocational gifts He's bestowed upon me'. I found that truly refreshing and genuine.

There was , however, one monk whom I didn't have a good experience with. Upon arriving at the dining hall for lunch, I took the first seat available, beside another monk. Shortly after we began our meal, one of the monks walked in. Realizing that I was sitting in his spot, he got annoyed. Actually, he was visibly angry. He must've thought to himself 'What's this idiot visitor doing sitting in my spot'. And to make things worse, I'd taken his napkin and placed it on my lap (I copied the other monks who also did that). The climax came when he leaned over, reclaimed his napkin, and sat down beside me on the empty chair. But he did it in such a way that everyone in the entire dining hall knew that I'd taken his spot. What a loser. I guess he was having a bad day. It just goes to show .. even monks have bad days! Even monks are sinful! Praise be to Almighty God!!!

Interestingly, the monks ate in complete silence, not a word spoken. They didn't talk to one another, or even look at each other. They looked straight ahead, as though it was a sin to speak. I didn't have a chance to find out what the reasoning behind this was. However - and this may clear the picture a little - there was a monk sitting in the middle of the room, reading out loud, so that everyone could hear. He read from the Scriptures, as well as from another book. Eating a meal this way - without saying a single word to anyone, listening to someone in the middle of the room read - was definitely the most unusual, unnerving experience of the weekend.

My favourite part of each day was .. well .. the prayers. The sung masses were beautiful and peaceful - much more so than most singing in our churches. The reverence was also sobering. It seems to me we do not revere God anymore. We ought to be in awe of him. The Psalmist even speaks of fearing God. And although most of the prayers were recited by memory, that too was a blessing, if for no other reason than the realization that completing such a task requires great discipline and hard work. It ought to challenge me to use my memory too, to the glory of God, if not by memorizing prayers, then at least by memorizing Scripture.

Stained Windows:


But aside from prayer times in the church, I also had ample time to pray and read Scriptures on my own. I went for walks, sat on benches, enjoyed the stunning views of the Fraser Valley.

Peaceful Walks:


The Fraser Valley:


I contemplated many of the issues currently on my mind. More importantly, I focused on God: his character, his faithfulness. Reading through the book of Esther was very insightful on both of these fronts.

Reading Scripture:


Sundown:


I had a blessed weekend. I want to do this again. Lately my soul longs for solitude.

Emotions

Yesterday was my grandmother’s funeral. It went well, about as well as a funeral can go, I guess.

The day began at 10 in the morning, when I met my parents at the funeral home. I saw my grandma, she looked beautiful, at peace. But I was horrified upon touching her. Her skin was ice cold and hard.

At 11 we went to the cemetery.

At 12 there was a memorial service for her at my parents’ church, followed by a lunch: sandwiches, vegetables, fruits, coffee, and pastry.

At the memorial service I gave a tribute to my grandma. I’m horrible and way too emotional when it comes to these kind of events. I sobbed like a little boy. I felt like a retard, even though many people came up to me afterwards to tell me that they appreciated what I said. They said "It came from the heart". But really, they were just being nice. It was horrible.

If I’m going to do public speaking in the future, I better get my emotions under control. Can’t break down and cry like a baby everytime I speak. Pathetic.

A Tribute To My Grandmother

A Tribute to my Grandmother, AT (1910-2005), with much love.

While it is under sad circumstances that I write this, it is, nevertheless, an honour for me to write down a few words about my grandmother.

My earliest memories of her date back all the way to my childhood in Asuncion. Every year during summer vacation, I was allowed to visit her for a few weeks. She lived a good 6 hour bus-ride from us, in the Chaco, and I remember her always picking me up from the bus station upon my arrival.

She would take me to her place, and then for the next two weeks, she would try to do everything she could to make sure that my vacation was safe and fun. She would watch in delight as I rode my bike or played with friends, or warn me of the coming rain or windstorm whenever thick dark clouds neared. She would thoughtfully prepare each and every meal during my stay, but not based on her desired menu, but mine. If I asked for meat she’d ask me what kind, chicken or beef. If I asked for potatoes, she would ask how I wanted them: mashed, boiled, or fried; and if I wanted them fried, then fried how, like french fries, or like thin potato-chips?

Grandma was a kind person: thoughtful, caring, and perhaps above all, hospitable. She knew how to open her home to others.

I remember a time much later, after our family had already moved to Canada, how she loved having people, especially her grandchildren, over at her apartment. At that time my parents were in South America for a lengthy stay, and in their absence, she’d taken it upon herself to cook 2 or 3 meals a week for my brother. But what struck me was that my brother enjoyed going there for lunch. I found it perplexing – what was so special about lunch hours with grandma?

The answer to that question came a few years later, when my brother also went to South America. His departure meant that now just grandma and I remained here in Canada. But she refused to complain about it, choosing instead to reach out to me, offering friendship and care. I began visiting her for lunch 2 or 3 times a week, just like my brother had done. At first I perhaps went more out of courtesy than a real desire to get to know her, but over time, I realized how special she was. She was such a generous and giving person: she gave without expecting in return.

She made wonderful meals – sometimes I wondered how many other people she’d invited, because there always seemed to be enough food for about 5 people on the table! I guess now I know where mom got that trait.

First she’d bring out the borscht met tweiback, then she hauled out the beef, potatoes, vegetables, and corn, and for the grand finale she always had a freshly baked pie – sometimes lemon, sometimes chocolate – and a hot cup of coffee.

On a side note - I think she saw herself as somewhat of a food expert, and for good reason. She’d come up with these great but peculiar statements, like for example, telling me to add sour cream to my borscht, because it would add such a rich flavour to the soup. Or she’d tell me that it wasn’t right to cut a potato with a knife, because then all the potato juices would be wasted. It was much better to gently push down using a fork.

Anyways, after sharing a meal, we’d sit down on the couch and talk a little. She was always open to talk, and she was willing to discuss just about anything under the sun. She’d ask me about my life: my job, my friends, and my dreams. Then she’d tell me about her life: her childhood, the war, the exodus to Paraguay, and then her journey to Canada.

But without fail, she’d bring all our conversations back to “the most important thing” – namely, that even though she didn’t understand all the things going on around her, even though she didn’t understand the solutions to all the problems, whether it be political, financial, or personal, one thing she did understand beyond the shadow of a doubt, and that was that God loved her through Jesus Christ, and furthermore, he loved all people.

She lamented evil and suffering in the world. She had a soft heart for the hurting and the burdened. This, because she was no stranger to suffering, no stranger to pain. She had a deep love for what is good, righteous, and honest. She had a profound desire to live a life of holiness, modesty, and dignity, because these things were godly; all of these things were of God.

Switching our focus now to her final years, in a way, I feel like I lost my grandmother 10 years ago, around 1994, when we travelled to South America together to spend Christmas with family there. It was there where we saw the beginnings of a sickness that would eventually rob us of her kindness, her smile, and most of all, her company; and it was there where we noticed that an illness was robbing her of her own memory.

This evil illness swept over her so fast, it was frustrating and angering to witness. It didn’t take that long, perhaps a few years, before she couldn’t even recognize her own loved-ones.

I’ve lamented over this from time to time. I would have liked to give back to her what she gave to us. She gave us love, care, kindness, and hospitality, to name but a few qualities, and that is what I wish I could have given her more of in a way that she could appreciate and understand.

I think it is entirely appropriate to close this tribute to my grandmother with a quote from Scriptures. In the book of Revelation, the apostle John describes his vision of a new heaven and a new earth, saying: “And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, ‘Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God himself will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away’”.

Today I mourn the loss of a wonderful person, a godly woman, an amazing grandmother. But, like her, I too know that the most important and crucial thing is to place my faith and trust in Him who created us, who saw it fit to redeem us, and who will one day wipe away all tears from our eyes. May this encourage us, and may this encourage especially you, dear mother.

May Christ’s eternal shalom be with her now, and may we too be blessed by a foretaste of this perfect, harmonious peace that we shall one day experience in fullness.

Mother's Grief

Tommorrow is my grandmother's funeral. I've only been to three funerals before in my life: two were of acquaintances, and one of my great-grandmother, when I was still a child.

I am not looking forward to tomorrow. Mom will be grieving, and that breaks my heart.

Death is evil. It separates us from the ones who've moved on to the next world, and it leaves those of us left in this world to pick up the pieces.

Not A Bad Summer Of Reading

On April 6th, I wrote down my summer reading list. Here's the list again, and how I did (or didn't):

* Memory and Identity (JPII) --> did not read
* Crossing the Threshold of Hope (JPII) --> did not read
* A Pilgrim Pope. Messages for the World. (JPII) --> did not read
* Ut Unum Sint - On Church Unity (JPII) --> did not read
* Witness to Hope. Biography of Pope John Paul II - George Weigel --> did not read
* The Idiot (Fyodor Dostoevsky) --> currently reading (I'm on page 376 .. 350 pages to go!)
* Demons (Fyodor Dostoevsky) --> did not read
* War & Peace (Leo Tolstoy) --> did not read
* Clowning in Rome (Henri Nouwen) --> finished it
* Contemplative Prayer (Thomas Merton) --> finished it
* Letters to Malcolm (C. S. Lewis) --> did not read
* Gods that Fail (Vinoth Ramashandra) --> did not read

So far, the picture doesn't look good. I may have spent a lot of time in my hammock this summer, but perhaps I slept in it, rather than reading! However, instead of reading some of the books above, I read the following:

* St. Francis of Assisi (G.K. Chesterton)
* Orthodoxy (G.K. Chesterton)
* The Cube and the Cathedral (George Weigel)
* The Sabbath (Abraham Joshual Heshel)
* Keeping The Sabbath Wholly (Marva J. Dawn)
* Miracles (C.S. Lewis)

Plus .. I read a good 200 pages (out of 400) of my Basics of Biblical Greek textbook.

Perhaps my reading list was a bit too ambitious. But, all in all .. not a bad summer of reading.

Released From Suffering

On this Labour Day Monday, mom called me in the morning with the news that grandma was on her deathbed. Grandma is in her mid-90's, and has been suffering for the past 10 years from Alzheimers and other age-related illnesses.

In the afternoon I went to a small Japanese Garden at UBC. It was a lovely afternoon, but I will write about it another time, because of what follows: shortly after I returned home, mom called me to tell me that grandma'd passed away.

Again, she was audibly shaken and upset. We've been praying for a while already that God would bring grandma home, but actually coming to terms with the reality of a death is very difficult and intense, no matter how much we prepare for it.

The funeral will be sometime later this week, and I am going to prepare a few words to share at it.

Earls, Part Time Religion, And Burdens

Friday - I worked during the day. In the evening, RS came over. We went out for dinner at Earl's. Afterwards, we came home and had a good chat, over wine and cigars. Main topic of discussion: "The western concept of dating: Godly or Pagan?" Been doing a lot of thinking about this. Will write about it one day.

Saturday - Made pancakes for breakfast .. yummy! Early afternoon, I took three boxes full of books I haven't touched in years to various used book stores to see if I can get even a few dollars for them. Late afternoon I got together with my new-found friend SS. She's from Turkey, and she calls herself a "part-time Muslim". I met her at my church a few weeks ago. We exchanged phone numbers and decided to get-together. Interesting girl..interesting topics of discussion.

Sunday - Got up really early to drive a buddy to the airport. Afterwards, I watched the F1 race at home, using my dad's projector. In the afternoon I hiked the Grouse Grind: 48 minutes. In the evening, I went to church. New service-times are 6:30 .. the church was packed. During church I felt really burdened, mainly because of AEK. I'd much rather have been at home alone than with people at church, but God blessed me for making the effort to go. I felt peace amidst uncertainty.

Uno Mas!

Today was a special day in the world of futbol, because Paraguay beat Argentina 1-0 for the first time ever in World Cup Qualifying. Roque Santa Cruz scored the lone goal, 15 minutes into the game. The game was played in Asuncion.

Picture: Roque Santa Cruz celebrates his goal against the albicelestes.
















An article about this historic win can be read here.

All that Paraguay needs now in order to qualify for next year's World Cup is to win one of their next two games, either against Venezuela or Colombia.

Vamos albirroja!

All Things Considered ..

.. the last few days have been ok.

I’ve started telling my friends that AEK and I are finished. Somehow, as I’ve been updating everyone what’s been happening, I am increasingly feeling like I mistreated AEK. This, even though I did the best I could to be honest with her throughout our relationship.

All my friends have been really supportive. RS has been really supportive throughout. Earlier today JEE left me a voice message, lending her support, offering a listening ear. Tonight I ran into IL while going for a walk (I’ve been going for lots of walks lately), and she too was such a good listener. Even before the breakup, CL, CK, and SC listened and offered words of wisdom and provided insightful conversations. Everyone has helped me keep a sense of humour about it all.

Finally, my parents are the best. Dad’s been quiet, but mom’s been quite supportive vocally, especially the past month. I know that it’s difficult for them to see me with a non-caucasian woman, but really, they’ve been supportive and prayerful throughout.

Thank you Lord for friendships and family. Perhaps I too can be of support when they need it.

Amidst all this, I miss AEK. I especially miss her smile and supportive spirit.

I can’t help but wonder whether breaking up was the right thing to do.

The Day After

I really don’t feel like writing today, but it’s probably best I write something, if for no other reason than ‘tracking’ what’s going on in my head. Who knows, someday I’ll look back to today’s entry as a reference point or something. Perhaps there’s a lesson to be had in my state of mind today.

On the other hand, maybe it’s just good for me to let it out. We’ll call it self-therapy, catharsis.

Today I definitely hate myself.
Today I definitely want to cry.
Today I definitely feel wretched.
Today I definitely am broken.

Today I definitely need to repent of my sinfulness.
Today I definitely need to heal.
Today I definitely need grace.

The need I feel for God today is so much stronger, intense, than usual. While this is a good thing, I wish I felt this need more often. It would keep me humbler. It would keep me closer to the straight and narrow path.

I broke up with her yesterday. I am angry.

Lord Jesus Christ have Mercy upon me, a wretched sinner!

My Soul Waits For The Lord

Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD!

O Lord, hear my voice!

Let your ears be attentive to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities,

O Lord, who could stand?

But with you there is forgiveness,

that you may be feared.

I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,

and in his word I hope;

My soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning,

more than watchmen for the morning.

O Israel, hope in the LORD!

For with the LORD there is steadfast love,

and with him is plentiful redemption.

And he will redeem Israel from all his iniquities.

_____

Psalm 130.

Currently Listening - August '05

Here's a CD I picked up earlier this week. AEK introduced me to the Gotan Project a few months ago. The musical genre is lounge tango. It's the tango response to bossa nova lounge music, made famous by St. Germain.

I like it because it mixes the traditional tango with modern suave beats and electronica samples.

Great for background music while relaxing, reading, or chillin'.

Favourite Song(s): vuelvo al sur, santa maría (del buen ayre).

Artist: Gotan Project
Album Title: La Revancha Del Tango
Produced: Ya Basta!, XL Recordings
Release: 2001

Who Is My Brother?

I read an interesting article today. In it the author asks the question "Is the Muslim my Brother?" Regarding Jesus, he says "Is he, as some theologians say, the western face of God, or is he, as others say, truly God incarnate." The author believes the latter.

However, it gets better. The author feels that "Muslims are Christians who simply don't know it yet - in other words, [they are] my brothers, for whom Christ also died." Essentially, he/she believes that all are saved, even without professing/confessing Christ as Lord: "You have been saved, whether you admit it or not - by Christ's precious blood at Calvary."

The obvious question then becomes 'What's the advantage of being a Christian?' His/her response: "[Christians] have an intimacy with God that others may lack. And certainly Christ's spirit in us makes us want to obey him willingly and joyfully - not as drudgery. No one else but Jesus could make me love everybody I meet.."

This is not the first time I have heard this line of argument. But does it stack up? On the positive side, it gets us away from the us and them rhetoric. It makes it easier to love and accept everyone - because we're all brothers and sisters, not only physically as God's creatures, but spiritually too. However, as attractive as it sounds, it does not deal adequately with Jesus' claims of exclusivity, and it definitely does not deal sufficiently with his claims about the reality of judgement, or hell, for that matter.

Either way, articles like these challenge me to love others, because Jesus DID die for all. They challenge me to follow Jesus' footstepts for the right reason, namely, that that he loved his creation - us - enough to give himself up for it, despite our rebellion against him. I follow Jesus because of the amazing example he sets in loving others, and the strength he provides, enabling us to also love others, NOT because of any negative consequences of not following him.

Interestingly, the author's name is only given as "MGB." Apparently he/she is afraid of being called a heretic - not by Muslims, but by Christians. This cracks me up, because usually when Christians write about Islam, they use pseudonyms for fear of persecution from Muslims, not Christians.

Anyways, it's an interesting read. It can be found here.

Another Toast!

Yesterday after work I went out for dinner with one of my best friends, CL. I rarely see her, and when I do, it's always in a group of people. But last night it was just the two of us, and it was grand.

There are very few women that can carry a good, intelligent, and fun conversation like she can.

In the span of 3 hours, we discussed the following topics:
* AEK (ie - relationships)
* F1 racing
* Travel journalism
* The church
* Sex (homosexuality, contraception, birthrates, and of course, we tried to answer the ever-so-important question: How do fat people have sex?)
* Politics (Canada, America, Israel/Palestine)
* Dating (more AEK)
* Book authors (from Dostoyevski to Uris to Weigel; from Friedmann to Kaplan to Feiler)
* Evangelicalism in North America (Televangelist Pat Robertson's statement that the US should assassinate President Chavez of Venezuela. Has he lost his mind? Can you take Scripture out of context THAT badly? Is this the role of the church - to tell the government who to 'take out'? Has he heard of the gospels? Is this what it means to "do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?")
* Islam, Judaism, Christianity
* Film
* Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie .. I know. Rather shallow .. but apparently women like talking about this sorta stuff. I was shocked!

How about another toast: to good friends, to good conversations.

Cheers!
Prost!
Salud!

100

This is the 100th post of my online diary. I'm content with how things have progressed to date. I'm enjoying putting my thoughts down 'on paper'. I'm getting to know myself better.

I propose a toast: to 100!
And many more!

Cheers!
Prost!
Salud!

Bittersweet

Today was the end of our summer soccer season. We had an awesome team this summer, winning 16 games, tying 1, and losing 2. We won the summer-league comfortably, outscoring our opponents by an average of 4 goals per game. I think we scored close to 70 goals in 19 games, and only had 15 goals scored against us.

That's the sweet part. Why the bitterness?

I hurt my knee again. Last Sunday (the same day I broke my toe), I also hurt my knee. Thank God, I didn't tear anything - I can walk, run, or even hike just fine. But I can feel that structurally something's wrong with it .. again. It's going to take some time to have it dealt with: 3 months to see a specialist, and then another three to have it arthroscoped. Frustrating .. angering .. sobering .. humiliating .. tyring.

I had planned to play in the upcoming winter leauge, but those plans have been kyboshed.

For the remainder of the summer, and into the winter, my sports routine will have to change. Hiking is still ok, but I will have to try and go swimming and/or working out in the gym.

Burnaby Sierra FC:















Talk about an international team! Top left: MR (midfield/forward, Poland), EB (midfield/forward, Brazil), DS (midfield, Fiji), PG (defense, Canada), MA (defense, Romania), YG (midfield/forward, Hong Kong), AHK (defense, Iran). Bottom left: DC (defense/midfield, Romania), AV (forward, Bulgaria), MF (goalkeeper/defense/midfield, India), AB (forward, Brazil), MK (midfield/forward, Iran), NJ (defense/midfield, Canada), FB (goalkeeper, Hungary), and Cub (midfield, Paraguay).

Missing from the picture: GS (defense/midfield/forward, Canada), XC (midfield/forward, Spain), HG (midfield/forward, Mexico), RA (forward, Brazil), and DC (defense, China).

After the game ... sushi!















From bottom left, clockwise: AV (Bulgaria), DC (Romania), MK (Iran), Cub (Paraguay), FB (Hungary), NJ (Canada), MR (Poland).

What I'll miss most about not playing futbol for the next 5-8 months is not the goals, the plays, the thrill of the game, but the friendships, the camraderie, the brotherhood. Nothing brings people together like sports. Nothing.

English Bay - Again

This time I went there for lunch, with LS, my ex-coworker @ Glenayre and 360networks.

I hadn't seen her in about 9 months. It's interesting how directions in life change. Since I quit my job @ 360, LS has accepted a job as a consultant for PeopleSoft, a very good company. Me? Well, I work part time as a contractor, and go to school full-time.

But we had a really good converstation. It was good to catch up with her. Afterwards, we went to Mondo Gelato for some ice cream (I had coconut and mango), and then we sat down at a bench and enjoyed a magnificent view of the bay.

Vancouver really is a lovely city:

English Bay

Today I went to Milestones at English Bay for dinner with CK, a girl I met through a Christian internet dating site. We actually met a year ago, in August. I met her in person then, before she headed off to China to teach at a high school. Throughout her time in China we stayed in touch by email and online chatting. But she returned home about a month ago, for vacation, and since then I'd met up for dinner with her once. So all in all, yesterday's dinner was the third time we'd seen each other in person.

It was good to see her. She's quite an attractive girl: beautiful, with amazing piercing eyes. But somehow we didn't connect so well. Well, it's not like we didn't connect. I think we were cautious, because we're both in a relationship at the moment.

But regardless, it was interesting spending time with the real person, rather than the person I know from online chats and emails.

Cars

Yesterday I dropped off my car to get some transmision work done on it, so while car-less, I've been hoofing it everywhere on foot - or bus, if necessary. Earlier today I walked to the bread store, as well as to the drug store, and a few other places. In all, I probably walked about 3 kilometers.

I did the same yesterday.

I'd like to get rid of my car. Walking and taking the bus is so good. It's a good way to stay (relatively) fit, and it's an even better way to stay 'in tune' with the city I live in. When I walk or take the bus, I can experience life in a way that I cannot experience when I drive, like:

* running into people going to/from work, shopping, or lunch;
* see what kind of books people read on the bus;
* read the latest pseudo-news on tabloid newspapers; or
* Smell the real city: cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, urine.

These are just a few scenarios which if I drive I could never experience. True, some of these things may be annoying to me, but how else can I connect with people? Connecting with someone while listening to the radio in the comforts of my car is .. well, impossible.

So, while it'd be quite difficult for me to get rid of my car right now, it's nevertheless a good goal; a goal which I'd like to work towards. One day, I hope to be able to get to everywhere I need to go either by walking or by taking the bus.

In the meantime .. I love my Volkswagen.

Say What?

The doctor asks: "When you pee, do you have a strong stream?"
I respond: "What?"
"When you pee, can you hit a spot three feet away?", he says.
"Yep", I proudly respond.

There are not many professionals that can get away with this line of questioning. Only doctors, and lawyers perhaps, but anyways, that's what my new doctor asked me when he gathered information about me, his new client. I wanted to get a checkup today, and since my old doctor has disappeared mysteriously, I had to find a new one.

The reason I went to the doctor was to get a checkup on my toe and knee.

On Sunday afternoon I was playing soccer, and this idiot inadvertently stepped on my pinky toe. It hurt, but it was bearable, so I continued to play for another 2 hours, until the end of the game. Monday I woke up, and I could barely walk.

Also, my knee's been hurting a lot lately - also from playing soccer.

Result of checkup: a broken toe, and knee-ligament laxity (ie - loose ligaments).
Doctor's Recommendation: No soccer for the next month. Bummer. Hiking is fine.

On Hold .. Holding On

The past few days have been quite stressful.

Thursday, 08.11.05: evening.
AEK came back from LA on Thursday night. After picking her up from the airport and having a quick dinner at her place, we both noticed that something wasn’t right between us, so we addressed it.

I told her that I had some serious doubts about our relationship. I told her that I felt distant from God and her. I told her that often times we’re not on the same wavelength. I told her that I didn’t think we had as much in common as I thought we did originally. I told her that she’s immature. Throughout it all, she looked at me with an understanding smile on her face. She didn’t cry. She’s so fu*$%ng strong.

She didn’t have much of a response at the beginning. But afterwards, she gave me a remarkably mature (!) response: “Well, don’t all couples have these issues? Isn’t this normal?” Quite right indeed!

But I think she was also being gracious, allowing me to get things off my chest. Deep down I think she thinks I take myself too serious. She's hinted at this before. And to her credit, she's right. I often times take myself too serious .. I'm too wrapped up in myself .. and I don't laugh at myself enough.

I told her that maybe taking a break from each other was a smart thing to do. She paused, then responded: “Married couples don’t take a break from each other.” What's that supposed to mean?

We prayed together, before I left for home.

Saturday, 08.13.05: afternoon, evening.
We met late afternoon, and took the bus to Stanley Park. There we had a lovely picnic she’d prepared: sandwiches, drinks, and cookies. She’s so thoughtful.

Then we saw a theatre/play, before heading to one of her friends’ place for an evening garden party.

A very good day.

Sunday, 08.14.05: evening.
We spoke on the phone. The conversation was very good, both of us sharing our thoughts and burdens. We extended much grace to one another.

While speaking on the phone, we decided to take a break from each other, to discern where we’re at and where God is leading us. For the next two weeks, we will not talk, email, call, or get-together. No contact whatsoever.

After the two weeks, we will share what we feel God is telling us.

My heart's heavy, saddened, and burdened.

10 Reasons I Like Summer

10 - Sun - I don't really mind the rain that much, but the sun DOES cheer me up.

9 - Long Days - The sun comes up early, and graces us with her presence well into the evening before disappearing beyond the horizon.

8 - BBQs - The smell of meat on the grill is just .. yummy.

7 - Iced Coffee - Hits the spot mid-afternoon, or early evening.

6 - Wife-Beaters - I can wear my camisillas without feeling like I'm showing off.

5 - Grouse Grind - Perhaps I'm a sucker for punishment.

4 - Walks - To the park, to the grocery store, to the bread store, to the video store.

3 - Balcony - Breakfasts in the sun, reading in the sun.

2 - Hammock - Reading, napping, meditating, talking on the phone.

1 - Futbol - playing soccer is SO much mor fun in the sun than in the rain.

The Weeping Camel

Last saturday I was complaining about the idiotic movies that are coming out of America nowadays. Well, today I made up for last week's debacle, and I rented a good movie, called The Story of the Weeping Camel.

It's a really neat story, set in the southern desert of Mongolia. A family of camel and sheep herders is placed in a difficult situation when one of their camels rejects her newborn. This rejection is due to a difficult birth, as well as a drastic difference in physical appearance between the colt and the mother: the colt is white, the mother is dark brown.

The movie is full of heartbreaking moments, as the family tries again and again to unite the camels: mother and colt.

Eventually, they fetch a musician from the city, and the combination of his stringed instrument and the beautiful singing of one of the female family members results quite literally, in tears. The camels wail and weep dramatically, and by the end of the song they are reunited.

The mother nurses the child, signifying final acceptance, and the colt gladly accepts.

Besides the story of the camel, the movie also provides an insightful window into Mongolian Nomadic life. As one review said: "All of this is told in a narrative that is not a cute true-life animal tale, but an observant and respectful record of the daily rhythms and patterns of these lives. We sense the dynamics among the generations, how age is valued and youth is cherished, how the lives of these people make sense to them in a way that ours never will, because they know why they do what they do, and what will come of it. The causes and effects of their survival are visible, and they are responsible."

Pfefferminzkuchen

I remember as a child I used to always eat Pfefferminzkuchen (peppermint cookies).

As I grew older I stopped eating them, so mom stopped baking them.

In recent months I've rediscovered the lecker (delicious) taste of the cookies again, as mom's been baking them and sharing them with me.

Here is what they look like:

Microwave Culture

I often hear people say that “God is working in you”. Equally often, I feel like responding “Yes, but why doesn’t it seem like that”.

I think the reason I want to respond that way is because I like the dramatic: the phenomenal, the momentous, the fantastic. And more than that, I want it fast: immediately, now.

The problem is that God doesn’t work that way. No. That’s wrong. That’s not the problem. The problem is that I want God to work that way. But as someone told me once, God is the God of slow, not fast. God’s at work in us, but while we may not be able to see the changes on a daily basis, when looking at ourselves over a longer timespan, we’d be able to see the changes. And yes, the changes we see in ourselves are phenomenal and fantastic.

Case in point: my friend KR. Three years ago I met her, and we co-led a group in our Discover Christ course at church. She’d become a Christian just a few months earlier, and now she wanted to help others in their journey of discovery.

Over the past few years I’ve really seen her mature in her walk with God. She’s become completely involved in our church, specifically the Evening Service Committee and the prayer ministry.

This past Sunday I ran into her at church. She had a noticeable beam of joy around her. I asked her why she had such a big grin on her face, and she told me that over the past few months God had made it increasingly clear that he was preparing her for church ministry, and in response to this she’d quit her job, enrolled at Regent, as well as the Artizo ministry training program at our church.

Pause. I said "Pardon?" My jaw just about dropped to the floor.

I was really encouraged by her brief but powerful story. God is at work within us. It may not always seem like it, but that’s only because we live in a here/now culture: we want results, and we want them without further delay, right here, right now. But if we're patient to wait upon the Lord, he will reveal to us what he has in store for us.

I’m hungry. I’m gonna go and nuke my dinner in the microwave.

Time Alone

I'm really enjoying 'being alone' while AEK's in LA. I don't miss her that much.

I can do what I want to, when I want to, however I want to, and for whatever reason I want to.

I don't need to ask anyone for permission, think about whether it's appropriate or not, or give a report afterwards.

I can't help but think that relationships aren't supposed to be like this. I feel trapped, caged, tied up. Four more days until she returns.

Purpose, Parks, Preaching & Paranoia

Today was a nearly perfect day, because I spent most of it alone.

The day began with mate, that South American weed-like-looking jungle drink. Shortly afterwards, I had breakfast: corn flakes with two pieces of buttered-toast.

For the remainder of the morning I read G. K. Chesterton's Orthodoxy. Here's a little teaser, relating to his discovery that the world has a creator who acts willfully, purposefully:

"A child kicks his legs rhythmically through excess, not absence, of life. Because children have abounding vitality, because they are in spirit fierce and free, therefore they want things repeated and unchanged. They always say, "Do it again"; and the grown-up person does it again until he is nearly dead. For grown-up people are not strong enough to exult in monotony. But perhaps God is strong enough to exult in monotony. It is possible that God says every morning, "Do it again" to the sun; and every evening, "Do it again" to the moon. It may not be automatic necessity that makes all daisies alike; it may be that God makes every daisy separatetly, but has never got tired of making them. It may be that He has the eternal appetite of infancy; for we have sinned and grown old, and our Father is younger than we. The repetition in Nature may not be a mere recurrence; it may be a theatrical encore." (70)

Early in the afternoon I went for a jog at a park just around the corner from my place. I ran 15 laps, about 3km. It was gloriously warm! I love this warm weather!

Late afternoon I went to mass at a tiny little catholic church with my friend DL. The sermon was actually pretty good, but generally speaking, it seems to me that the strength of the Catholic church lies in the liturgy and eucharist, not in the preaching. After church we went for dinner.

Finally, in the evening I went out and rented a movie: The Manchurian Candidate. I'm so sick of American Hollywood movies. I can't think of another nation on earth as self-consumed and paranoid as our neighours to the south. I guess that's the cost of being a global superpower. I rarely watch movies nowadays because after watching them I inevitably ask myself why I fill my head with such garbage.

Rugby Club

Tonight was boys night out, w/ RS, EW, PC, and MB.

After a long day of work, we met at the Rugby Club for a good dinner. It was good to see the guys again: conversation was light, beer was cheap, and the food was good.

I had two Stellas, Szechuan green beans, and pasta with a pesto sauce. I've heard others say that the food there is excellent .. and they were right.

Aside from the good company, food, and drink though, the highlight of the evening was probably our waitress. My gosh .. she was stacked. And gorgeous too. I think she was Italian. I'm convinced that we probably spent double the amount we would have spent had she been just average. I know that I would only have ordered one beer, but for her beautiful and convincing .... uhm, words.

Boys. Guys. Men. We're so shallow. I love it.

Airport, Work, & Futbol

Here's what I did today.

5am - drove AEK to the airport. She went home to LA for her grandfather's funeral. After I came back from the airport I went back to bed and slept a little while longer.

8am - made myself a delicious cup of coffee: San Agustin Colombian Estate, from Second Cup Coffee.

9:20am - arrived at work. Today was our second day on our upgraded version of PeopleSoft. The latest version (8.8) is so much better than the first generation internet based ERP system we had at 360networks.

12pm - lunch: beef stew with mashed potatoes and sauteed vegetables.

12:20pm - back to work.

3pm - coffee break with AL. Had an iced-Americano.

3:15pm - back to work.

4:30pm - finished work. Today was actually a really busy work day. Got lots done, it felt good.

6pm - played futbol. We played against Integ, and won 5-1. I'm getting older and slower, but I'm still a fighter, and I never quit. And the odd time like tonight I even amaze myself by scoring a beautiful goal. :-D Our team is so ridiculously good it's almost unfair. We've won 13 out of 15 games. The other 2 games were a tie and a loss. We score an average of 4 goals per game, and we rarely give up more than one goal.

10pm - AEK called from LA. She seems to be holding up fine with her family.

Explosion De Grasa

Today was a lovely sunny day. Actually, the past 3 weeks have been lovely & sunny! But what made today special was that it was a holiday .. BC Day.

I was supposed to go hiking in Chilliwack with AJ&CL & AEK, but things didn't work out. AJ called me at 6:21am (yes, when someone calls me THAT early, I remember the exact time!!), to tell me that C was sick with a kidney infection. They'd spent the entire night at the hospital, and were not up to a hike. Sad news...

I decided to wait until 8am to call & tell AEK that we weren't going hiking. Upon calling her I found out that her grandfather had passed away last night. More sad news...

This had all the signs of a terrible day. I went back to sleep until 11:30.

In the afternoon I went to pick up AEK, and we went to Rocky Point Park in Port Moody. To be honest, I didn't really want to go. I wanted to hang out on my hammock at home and relax, but I knew that AEK needed extra care on this day, so I went along with her suggestion.

In retrospect, I'm glad we went, because we enjoyed ourselves there. We went for a 5km walk through the forest, and along the lake. Afterwards, we came back and bought some yummy ice-cream, and then we had some fish & chips for dinner.

Dinner was great .. but greasy. Afterwards, I felt so stuffed. I was ready to explode. It would have been an explosion de grasa (grease explosion). Thank goodness, no explosion occurred.

After arriving back at my apartment, we were both exhausted, and took a nap. She on my couch, and I on my hammock.

Eastside

Tonight I went to Grandview Calvary Baptist Church (GCBC) on 1st Ave, almost Commercial, to help out with Out of the Cold. It's the 2nd time I've gone. The first time I went was about 3 months ago.

I was really blessed by the evening. Fifteen of us, from various churches, prepared a meal for approximately 100 homeless people from the eastside of the city. GCBC does it year-round, every Thursday night. The last Thursday of each month our church sends a team to help out.

The evening progresses as follows:
1pm - Head cook goes grocery shopping.
4-6:30pm - Assistant cooks & setup crew arrive: meal is cooked, tables are set.
6:30-7pm - People start lining up outside the church.
7-8pm - Dinner is served.
8-10pm - Clean-up crew arrives: wash dishes, clean up.

Four things struck me as I observed (while working of course...) the environment around me:

1 - "Why do we call the poor 'downtrodden'?" Because they look it! They look, act, and smell like someone's been stepping on them. I'm not talking about someone stepping on their toe and then saying "Ooops, sorry," but more like someone continuously stepping on their head while saying "How does that feel, loser?"

2 - "If Jesus visited Vancouver today, where would he visit first?" I can't help but think that he'd avoid Stanly Park, Granville Island, Yaletown, or Pacific Centre. In these places people are much too settled, too comfortable, too cool. Jesus would make these people feel way too uncomfortable. Instead, he'd go to the east end. There, the locals would welcome him with open arms. They'd treat him as one of their own. Why? Because he'd treat them as one of his own.

3 - "Where does the gospel fit in here?" The gospel fits here like a glove. It has to. Otherwise it's not the gospel. Otherwise it's not the good news. Jesus said: "The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim the good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favour." (Luke 4:18-19).

4 - "Where is God calling me to minister?" Part of me wants to say 'Help the poor, help the poor', but I'm not sure it's genuine. It probably has more to do with self-righteousness than with genuine care. It's hard to care for someone who stinks, has dirty fingernails and leather-like skin, is missing most teeth, and walks funny.

Lord, forgive my shallow, self-centred self-righteousness.

You've welcomed me as your own.

Enable me to welcome others as your own also.

Interim Solution

Currently I'm reading Orthodoxy, and St. Francis of Assisi, Evelasting Man, & St. Thomas Aquinas, part of the Collected Works Collection (Volume II), both by G. K. Chesterton. A little more information about both of these books can be found on cubsseeds.

Of course, I'm still reading my beloved TinTin too.

Tech-Challenged

Over the past few days I've been doing a ton of research online, on how to add a 'currently reading' section to my online journal. I've seen it on other sites, and it's a pretty cool way of letting you know how I exercise my brain.

But so far, I've encountered several problems. 1- Blogger instructions on how to add this sort of link to one's blog are .. well, lame-ass weak. I sent them two emails asking them how to do it, and their reply was "go to our help section". Well .. your help section's great .. if you're a web-whiz! Thx for nothing. 2 - Besides looking on the blogger website, I also did a general search on the internet. I found some suggestions, but well, I didn't like them.

You see, most people suggest using Amazon as a link, but I don't want to do that, because then I'd direct everyone to their website. I'd rather send people directly to the publishing company website, or better yet, the small, forgotten bookstore around the corner.

Maybe I'm an anti-corporate snob, or better yet, an anti-American-corporate snob; or maybe I'm just a snob .. period! But I don't care, I'm standing my ground.

I'll continue researching the matter. In the long run though, I think I'll have to learn more about web-developing. It'll make my life much simpler. I have so many ideas I'd like to implement on my site here, but my technical knowledge just doesn't cut it.

The Higher Rock: A Prayer

Almighty and Everlasting Father,
Loving Son Jesus,
Guiding Holy Spirit:

We come to you on this Sunday evening,

each of us in our own unique situation:
some of us joyful, some of us burdened with sorrow.
We come to you as a community of believers,
for we know that you listen to our prayers,
you hear the cries of your people.

You, Oh God, lead us to the higher rock,
In you we take refuge, for you are a strong tower against evil.
We take shelter under your wings, we dwell in your love.
We praise you, and we sing glories to your name.
We repent for our wrongdoings, give thanks for forgiving us our sins,
and ask for your help in renewing our vows to serve you in truth each day.
_____

We are grateful for yesterday’s Envision Evening.
We are strengthened by the example of the early church:
Followers of Jesus devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship,
to the breaking of bread and prayer.

Teach us to care for one another, and to love one another selflessly, sacrificially.
Teach us to fellowship, to be a community, having “all things in common.”
We pray that through genuine community, you would draw us to yourself,
adding to your numbers “day by day those who are being saved” into your kingdom.

Enable us to serve you by serving others.
May we devote ourselves to community, rather than follow our own individualistic desires.
Reveal to us which community you are calling us to serve in,
and help us to leave behind the consumerism of our culture.

Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.
_____

We turn our attention to a hurting world:

We pray that you would restore to health the injured,
and comfort those who lost family members or loved ones in the recent bombings in England and Egypt.
We pray for restoration of peace and order in Iraq and Afghanistan.
We pray for reconciliation in Israel and Palestine.
We pray against government corruption in the Philippines and here in our own nation.

Lord Jesus, we know that you are the only source of Peace,
You are the only hope of reconciliation,
You are the way, the truth, and the life.

Holy Spirit, guide those who are in positions of influence away from lies, and towards salvation in Jesus Christ.

Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.

We pray for the Global Church:

We marvel at the growth of your church.
People are coming to know and serve you, the living God,
in China, south east Asia, and Africa.

In many places people suffer persecution:
they lose their families, they lose their jobs,
and yet they respond to the prompting of your Holy Spirit with joy and thanksgiving.

We praise you for the resilience and strength you give in these circumstances.
We ask for continued protection and courage.
Hear their cries, oh God. Spare them.

Continue to raise people who are willing to preach the gospel in these contexts.

Shake us – the church of the west - out of our own comfort and complacency.
May we be encouraged to rejoice in your “steadfast love and faithfulness”,
and turn our back on the cultural values of relativism.

Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer.
_____

We pray for St. John’s:

We are thankful for today’s visitors: bless them, Lord.
May they walk away encouraged,
may their hearts be gladdened by the realization that you love and care for them.

Thank you for the musicians, the greeters, the various committee and staff members and the many others who faithfully serve here,
and for the interns whom you are raising to do your work.

We pray for the parish that was recently planted in Richmond.
May many fruits grow from this small seed,
to the glory and honour of your name.

We pray for those who minister to children and young people,
for those who serve in Evangelism,
And for those who faithfully preach the word each week.

Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayers.
_____

Finally, in a moment of silence, we bring to you the things you have placed on our hearts:
personal struggles, stories of thanksgiving,
friends or family,
the sick, the grieving, the lonely, and the needy.
_____

We pray all of these things in the name of the Father, in the name of the Son, and in the name of the Holy Spirit.

Amen.

_______________

Evening Service Prayer at St. John’s Anglican Church, based on Psalm 61, and Acts 2:42-47.

How Appropriate

My last post was about The Adventures of TinTin, my favourite comic character. I've been reading The Black Island periodically, in between my Greek studies. It's been a good way to relax while in the storm.

Today, as I was checking out the news online, I was pleasantly surprised to find out that in Brussels, Belgium, they're having the first ever TinTin Festival, "celebrating one of the world's most enduring comic book characters."

There's more information about the festival at this link.

Tim Und Struppi

With all the busyness of studying Greek, I've been looking for something to give my mind a break from all the memorizing of nouns, adjectives, verbal paradigms, and prepositions. Last week after my exam on Thursday I went for a walk at the UBC campus, and I discovered a neat little store not more than 100 metres away from Regent.

The name of the store is Damask, and they sell all kinds of goodies - cards, candles, soaps, journals, bags, etc. But most importantly, they sell officially licensed Tim Und Struppi (TinTin in English) stuff: books, keychains, bookmarks, t-shirts, figurines, and posters.

When I first saw all the paraphenelia they had, my heart jumped for joy, because as a child I read sooooooooooooo much Tin Tin - in fact, along with Fix Und Foxi, and Asterix, these were probably the comics I read most. It was such a nostalgic moment - bringing up all kinds of childhood memories from Paraguay.

I ended up buying one of the comics: Die Schwarze Insel (The Black Island). Unfortunately, they did not have them in German. It would have been good to brush up on my German. The store owner said that she might be able to order some for me in German, so maybe after I finish my course I will reward myself with a few German comic books.

I also found a website that has cool TinTin wallpapers for my laptop. :-D

Boys

Tonight I went out with a few of my buddies - PC, RS, and JW. Had a geat time .. I'm glad that even though I spend lots of time with AEK, I still find time to spend with the boys.

Women are so complicated. Spending an hour or two with a few guys is so relaxing. It's almost therapeutic, like drinking fresh water on a hot day.

Travelbug

The highlight of the day today was definitely when I invited a few of my friends over to my place for the afternoon. AJ&CL just recently returned from their trip to Russia, Mongolia, and China, and they had great stories to share - it made me want to travel again!!!

MB, JH, RS, and AEK also came, and we had a really good time together. I sense that we understand one another well, which is quite rare nowadays.

In addition to catching up, we also watched an F1 race using my dad's video projector. Who needs a tv when you can project an image 10 times the size of a tv screen to the wall!

God And Beauty

I went to the Greek Orthodox Church again today, with AEK and a few other friends from Regent College. We'd arranged for a tour of the church, and a brief introduction to Orthodox Theology.

We were a little disappointed upon our arrival, because we discovered that the priest of the church was not available to give us the tour, but one of the parishoners was kind enough to give us a tour, and he did his best to inform us of some of the Orthodox viewpoints.

The best way to summarize the Orthodox beliefs is by going to the Orthodox Research Institute.
I took some pictures inside the church:

Saints: Peter and Paul:


Saints: Nektarios, Anasdacia, and Athanasios:


Telling the Biblical stories in pictures:




Stained Windows:


Christ watching over his flock:


I'm realizing that worshipping God is not something we do with our minds only, but with all our being, all our senses: seeing the icons, smelling the insense. Entering the church felt like entering the very presence of God, because we were surrounded by so much beauty.

It leaves me wondering about my own faith heritage. I am thankful that I grew up attending churches that focused on preaching the word. However, I feel like I've only been told half of the story, the "mental" part. The "body" part is missing. It seems that we have allowed the Enlightenment - with its arrogant disregard for beauty and it's dismissal of the sacred - to infiltrate our places of worship. That's why churches in the western world look more like hospitals or gymnasiums - plain, white, practical, efficient, lacking any sort of creativity and beauty.

I yearn to worship God with all my being, not just with my head.

Gyros, Spanakopitas, and Loukomades

AEK and I went to the Greek Summer Festival this evening.

We were there for about three hours, and it was well worth it, because we had great fun. Upon our arrival, we immediately set out to go inside the Greek Orthodox Church of Saints Nicholas and Demetrius. Simply amazing! The beautiful icons inside were rich in meaning and colour. Candles lit the entrance, and quiet chants could be heard in the background.

Afterwards, we ate a simple but delicious Greek meal: gyros (pita with beef and lamb meat and tzatziki sauce), spanakopita (spinach pie), loukomades (greek mini-donuts), and a strong greek coffee.

Then we people-watched: men and women, boys and girls, danced to the tune of traditional Greek music. Families sat around tables and enjoyed each other. The smell of great food was everywhere. The music was loud. The atmosphere festive. Laughter was everywhere.

Somehow, it reminded me of what Jewish festivals must be like. I felt like we were witnessing genuine community.

On Saturday we plan to go there again, this time with some more friends. We've also arranged to get a tour of the church. Looking forward to it. Hopefully they'll allow us to take pictures inside the church.

Full Table

Studying Greek.



Tomorrow's my second exam. To date I've had 3 quizzes, and 1 exam. My quizzes have gone very well, but my test was difficult. Languages are meant to be learned over a long period of time, not 7 weeks!

Regardless, all's well.

Whistler - Part 2

So here are the details of our excursion to Whistler.

I picked up AEK at 9:30am, and we left immediately after, arriving in Whistler at around 11:45. We checked into her favourite restaurant in Whistler, Chef Bernard's Ciao-Thyme Bistro, for lunch. Our meal was so delicious!

AEK's Lunch: Wild Salmon Omelette:



Cub's Lunch: Chicken Salad Sandwich with Salad and Yam Fries



Afterwards, I had a coffee.



Then we went on a 2 hour hike. The view of the mountains, the valleys, the trees, and the wild flowers never cease to amaze me. They are evidence of a master designer-creator, and they remind me of the beauty and fragility of life. Oh, and yes, the woman in the picture is also quite a masterpiece!



Towards the end of our hike we were a little disappointed because we ran into the many construction sites for the Olympics of 2010. What a contrast .. the beauty of God's creation, marred by bulldozers, trucks, and concrete. On the other hand, I look forward to what this will look like 5 years from now when the Olypmics are held.

We left for home around 5:30pm. We arrived tired and cranky, but not before taking a good long last look at the Squamish Chief on our way home. What a rock!

Whistler - Part 1

I spent all day at Whistler today with AEK. I just got home a few minutes ago, and I'm too tired to write anything, so I'll just post some pictures for now. I'll write about the day later this week.

Flowers


Lunch


Hiking


AEK & Cub

O Canada!

O Canada!
Our home and native land!
True patriot love in all thy sons command.

With glowing hearts we see thee rise,
The True North strong and free!

From far and wide,
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

God keep our land glorious and free!
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.
O Canada, we stand on guard for thee.

Her Birthday

Today was a really good day.

After class in the morning I took AEK out for a birthday lunch. We went to the Samosa Garden on Kingsway .. so yummy! I think that's one of my favourite restaurants in Vancouver!

Afterwards we we went to my apartment and had a nap. Napping after a huge meal is sooooo good!

She liked my birthday presents too, which is a good thing! I gave her a LA Dodgers t-shirt, a bar of aroma-soap (grape), and a birthday card. She seemed thrilled .. which is good. I like buying things for her, but I'm not always sure if she'll like what I pick.

In the evening I went to church, for the last night of Christianity Explored. I had a good six weeks, and made some good friends. We decided that after my Greek final exams on August 12th (still soooo far away), we'd go out and reconnect as a group, over a nice meal.

I came home and now I'm exahausted. I'm gonna go to bed now, and sleep until 3am. Then I'm gonna get up and study. Tomorrow's my first Greek exam. One week's almost done. Six more to go.

The Word

Classical Koine Greek:

ΙΩΑΝΝΗΝ 1:1-2
'Εν áρχη 'ην 'o λογος,
καί 'o λογος 'nς πpος τον Θεον,
καί Θεον 'ης 'o λογος.
Ο'υτος 'ην ‘ev áρχη πpος τον Θεον.

Literal English Translation:

JOHN 1:1-2
In beginning was the word,
and the word was with the God,
and the Word was a God.
This was in beginning with the God.

Modern English Translation (English Standard Version):

John 1:1-2
In the beginning was the Word,
and the Word was with God,
and the Word was God.
He was in the beginning with God.
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Here is an example of the importance and difficulty of biblical translation and interpretation. The translation of John 1:1-2 from classical Greek to modern English has a few interesting points.

* and the word was a God (original) --> and the Word was God (modern)
* This was in the beginning with God (original) --> He was in the beginning with God (modern)

The implication of this slight difference in interpretation results in two views: one is that Christ is the Son of God, a created word of God, not divine; the other, that Christ is the Son of God, the uncreated Word, co-equal and co-divine with God the Father.

Orthodox historical Christianity teaches the second view.

Given this slight difference, I could get nervous and wonder whether Scripture as we have it is trustworthy. How do I know that the translation is correct? Were the translators trustworthy?

To me, this slight difference in interpretation from the ancient to the current is an example of how we cannot separate ourselves from our spiritual forefathers, at least as far as orthodoxy is concerned. In addition to my firm belief that the Holy Spirit is presently at work in illuminating our minds when we read Scripture, I also stand on the firm ground of church history and tradition, thanks to the apostles, the early church fathers, and the subsequent believers, who faithfully interpreted and passed on the faith from generation to generation.

I find this to be a beautiful display of God's sovereignty. His Holy Spirit has been present all the way, leading, guiding his church in truth. At the same time, God entrusted his people to pass on the faith, using teachers, parents, and preachers. As the people of God, we get the privilege of being a part of the story that God is unfolding in civilization.

We have been given Truth, and in addition to sharing it with the world, we faithfully pass it on to the next generation, ever vigilant, ever-guarding the integrity of its contents. In this way, we are connected to all generations past, and to all generations future, to all of God's people, at all times – creation to consummation, and in all places – from here to the ends of the earth.

Glory - δοχα - be to God!

Finally .. A Clean Place!!!

I should have friends over more often, because that's about the only time I'm motivated enough to clean up my apartment:

Couch:



Kitchen Table:

Greek Geek

Starting tomorrow at 7:30am, I will begin a new course: New Testament Greek.

My classes are Mon-Thur, 8am-12:30pm. There will be quizzes every single day (Mon-Wed), and an exam each week (Thur), for the next 7 weeks. In addition, I will be studying between 2 and 3 hours every day: 2 hours of grammar, and 1 hour of vocabulary.

I will learn one year's worth of Greek in 7 weeks. By the end of the 7 week-period, I will know 80% of the vocabulary of the New Testament.

Oh yeah, and before I forget, I'm still working part time, 12 hours a week: Monday afternoons, and all day Fridays.

Last year at this time, I went through the same process, learning Biblical Hebrew. In retrospect, I realize today that I was closer to a mental breakdown by the end of the course last year than I knew at the time.

Hmmmmmmm. Maybe I need to give my head a shake. Or maybe I'm just a geek.

The End Of An Era

Yesterday was the end of an era. Well, maybe I slightly overstated it, but it sounded powerful anyways..

But in a way, it was the end of an era, because we said goodbye to our fearless community group leader, SJ. For the past year, she has led our cross-cultural community group at Regent College. Throughout the year, we met every Tuesday after chapel, and ate lunch together, shared about our past joys and sorrows, our present struggles, and our future aspirations. It was such a blessing to get to know our group.

As I got to know SJ, I've noticed a real passion in her heart, to serve the poor in Latin America (Bolivia, to be specific). She has over the past few years learned Spanish, in preparation of her move down south.

Last month she was invited to go to El Salvador, to work with a church there doing community development. She will be there for approximately one year of training, after which she hopes to move on to Bolivia.

So yesterday we had a potluck, in celebration of God's faithfulness to SJ. We had great food, great conversation, and we invited her to share with us some thoughts one last time, before she leaves next week.

Below are some pictures of our community group members.

From Left to Right: CM (Bolivia), SJ (USA), & DN (Bolivia):


ML (USA), IYB (Korea), & ET (USA):


AEK (USA), TS (Canada), & RE (USA):


Missing from our group are: KH (USA), GC (Germany), & HH (Canada).

I look forward to next year's community group.

Plant Revival

Over the past few years I've noticed that I enjoy growing plants. I get a deep satisfaction - actually, joy - by watching plants grow.

I began with one plant, in early 2002:



To this day, it's my favourite plant (even though I have no idea what kind of a plant it is). Now I have a total of 4, all of which are doing very well.

Last week I took one of AEK's plants, and I'm going to try and revive it. AEK has many gifts, but apparently taking good care of plants is not one of them. She says it has nothing to do with her gifts, and everything to do with the lack of sunlight, and the cold temperature in her room. Yeah right .. I don't buy it. She just doesn't want to admit I'm better at taking care of plants than she is, that's all. :-)

Here's the plant I'm going to try and revive:

Things That Gave Me Joy Today

Here are the things I did today that gave me much joy!

* Woke up and didn't have to go to work!
* Made myself a wonderful French-press coffee
* Spinach salad, with almond nuts, raisins, and a honey/mustard dressing
* Transplanted a plant from one pot to another
* Discussed my research on Spirituality of Resting with my friend JE while lying on the hammock .. nice!
* Hiked the Grouse Grind in the pouring rain
* Drank a chai tea
* Ate pumpkin pie

I just noticed that much of what gave me joy has to do with food. Maybe the title for today's journal entry should be "Food That Gave Me Joy Today"

Cutting Vegetables

Today I learned that when cooking, it's always best to make sure that all the vegetables are cut in similar sizes. That way, they all take approximately the same amount of time to cook.

Makes so much sense. Never thought about that before.

A Wasted Day

Today was one of those days that sneaks up on you every now and then - the kind of day where all kinds of unexpected things come up. Sometimes these unexpected things are good, sometimes bad. Today they were good.

I'd taken the day off work to work on my research paper (due next week Friday), but these plans went down the drain very quickly.

For starters, I got up really late, around 10am, because I was really tired from being out late last night (AEK & I went to see a concert - Rilo Kylie). I set up a mate, and began doing research.

Shortly into my research, my friend SC called. I was so excited to hear from her. She just got back from a 5 week trip to Europe .. it's always such a delight to hear from her. She's such a positive person, it draws me in like a magnet. Talking to her always lifts my spirit .. she always brings a smile to my face.

Not a minute after getting off the phone with her, my friend SL called, and asked if I wanted to go to Al-Watan for a Pakistani lunch. How could I say no? After all, this little hole-in-the-wall on Fraser and 43rd serves the best Pak-food in the city!! Our good buddy JW also came along, and we had a blast together. The three of us go there about once a month, and we always have such a riot together.

Anyways, by the time I got home from lunch it was 3pm. I studied feverishly for 3 hours, before I got ready to go out for the evening.

Again, I didn't even plan to go out at all, but SL invited us out for dinner, and since I spend so little time with him and his wife P, and since they just bought a new place in Burnaby, I decided to accept their offer to go there for dinner and see their new place.

Dinner was excellent - steak bbq, roasted potatoes and vegetables. R and CG, and JW where also there, and we had an excellent time reminiscing about the good ol' times at TWU. We finished the evening with a cup of coffee. I remember when S and I were roommates, he'd always make great coffees. Tonight was no exception.

Upon my return home AEK called, and we spoke on the phone for a few minutes.

Now it's time to go to bed.

In one sense, today was a wasted day. I certainly feel wasted - tired. But if I had to live today over again, I wouldn't change a single thing. Sometimes the best thing that can happen is for all our plans to go wrong. I may not have 'achieved' much today in terms of getting schoolwork done, but I did something much more important: spend time with valued friends.

Money

Lately I’ve been thinking a lot about money, and more specifically, how to handle it responsibly.

Almost two years ago I sold my house in New Westminster and reinvested the money in mutual funds and GIC’s. The money invested in mutual funds has done very well, whereas the GIC’s, well, I might as well have kept the money lying under my mattress. All in all, the money has grown, and I’m thankful for that.

For various reasons I’m thinking of changing the direction of my investments, and have begun looking at alternatives.

Interestingly, my friend JW called me today, and asked if I’d be interested in buying an apartment/townhouse together with him. We had a good meeting over lunch, and discussed various options and concerns.

Overall, I’m encouraged by this development. It addresses the concerns that I have about my present investments, and offers what seems to be a very positive alternative. Over the next few weeks and months I’ll be praying for direction, seeking which way is the best way forward.

Painting On The Wall

I went to a friend's place this morning. We get together every two or three weeks to have breakfast, drink mate, and pray. But more than that, getting together is also a way of keeping our friendship real. We lay our joys and sorrows out on the table, talk about them, laugh about them, complain about them, and pray about them.

One of the consistent themes we talk about when we get together is .. well .. women (where there's boys, there's talk about women).

He's been seeing a lot of his ex-girlfriend lately, and the thought has crossed his mind to get back together with her. He humms and haws about it .. weighing the pros and the cons, the goods and the bads, the pluses and the minuses, but in the end, there's one simple thing that settles the issue for him: she has a painting on her apartment wall that he detests.

He describes it as a painting in which two people are quite intimate; not a rude kind of intimacy, but it's explicit enough to make him uncomfortable. He's thought about asking her to take it down, but hasn't done it because he feels that this might be asking a little too much. Oh and yeah, the fact that she painted it, would just add insult to injury.

He likes many things about her, but he can't accept her artistic taste. That's what it comes down to. That's the clincher that makes it clear to him that he does not want to be with her.

This sparked quite the conversation, because I've been thinking lots too over the past few weeks about relationships: How do they work? What attracts men and women? What turns us off? What about compatibility: Is there such thing as compatibility, or is it just social-scientific nonsensical talk?

Here's my story:

I've had the privilege of getting to know AEK over the past few months. She's been so good to and for me. She's kind, thoughtful, and caring. She's gracious, accepting me as I am, and she constantly compliments me. We spend a lot of time together, we talk on the phone, we email, and we chat online. We get along, we have a lot in common, we have a similar sense of humour, and my gosh, we're both tri-cultural! She's attractive, smart, slim, and godly.

Yet somehow, I can't accept the paintings on her wall. For whatever reason, I hesitate, doubt, and waffle. A part of me rejects her.

I don't know what to do. We've been together for over four months now, and we said to each other when we met that we'd give it a go for six months. After that, we get serious or go our own way.

My soul is burdened, because I have to come to grips with the same issue my friend's dealing with.

On the one hand, I feel like a complete idiot for having doubts. I have never met anyone so committed to me. By all accounts I'd be a fool to let her go. Are the paintings on her wall an excuse for me to let another chance go by? Am I so self-sufficient that I have decided I'd rather be alone than deal with someone's imperfections? Am I so self-consumed?

Or, on the other hand, am I just prolonging a relationship that is eternally doomed. Perhaps the writing on the wall is clear, but I'm just refusing to read it. Maybe the painting's like a big sign that reads "Do not Enter", and I just can't read it.

At this point, I don't know.

Lord Jesus Christ, have Mercy!

Stella

Had a great discussion with my friend DL tonight over a beer. I don't like beer that much, but if I do, I always drink Stella. It's a fine Belgian beer.

It's light, crisp, and goes down smooth.

Incidentally, 'Stella' means star in Latin.

Schedule

* For Week of 6.6 – 6.12 '05

Monday
Work
Haircut
Grocery Shopping / Dinner
Read: Dawn (Sabbath Keeping)

Tuesday
Work
(Mom comes over?)
Grouse Grind
Dinner
AEK?

Wednesday
Off Work?
Read: Dawn (Sabbath Keeping)
Lunch: Samosa Garden w/ AEK?
Prepare for Christianity Explored (CE)
CE

Thursday
Work
Dinner
Beer w/ DL

Friday
Work AM?
Read: Dawn (Sabbath Keeping)
OPEN

Saturday
Take Notes: Marva Dawn (Sabbath Keeping), Abraham Heschel (Sabbath), Thomas Merton (Contemplative Prayer), Henri Nouwen (Clowning in Rome)
Grouse Grind
AEK?

Sunday
Rest
Church

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* Anything that appears on this schedule is subject to change at a moment's notice, without any warning whatsoever. Only the following things are etched 'in stone': sleep, eat, work, & schoolwork.

Shadowlands

“Pain and suffering is God’s megaphone to us, letting us know that all is not well.”

That was one of the opening lines of Shadowlands, a play about the life of C.S. Lewis, arguably the greatest mind of the 20th century.

The dialog continues (paraphrased): ‘We like to live life as though we are self-sufficient and independent; as though we don’t need God. To live life like that is to live in a world of shadows: a non-existent, unreal world, a world of dreams and illusions. Pain and suffering serve to remind us that we are absolutely dependent on God for our very breath, our very being. It reminds us that there is something, no, someone bigger than us, from whom all good things flow. It reminds us that we are helpless in this world, and we are in need of God’s salvation’.

I saw the movie Shadowlands a few years ago, and now having seen the play, it struck me how intense and passionate Lewis was as an intellectual. It also struck me how he struggled with intimacy.

He was so involved in the intellectual world as a professor, lecturer, writer, and speaker, that he had no opportunity to meet women (in the 1950's there were few women in the world of intellectualism for him to interact and get to know). In fact, according to the play, he didn’t really know how to interact with women at all. He was a klotz (block).

AEK mentioned that the religious imagery he draws of us living in the shadowlands, was certainly applicable to him in terms of his interaction with women. He lived in an unreal world of academics, where intimate friendship and intimacy with women was difficult, almost impossible.

He desired intimacy. He wanted to love and be loved. Yet, he didn't think he needed help.

It took a very special woman, under amazing circumstances, to draw him out of the shadows and into reality. After developing a friendship for over a year, she became extremely sick. In fact, doctors only gave her a few weeks to live. It was under these extremely difficult circumstances that she drew Lewis out of the shadows of academics, and into the real world of love, pain, and suffering.

He married her on her deathbed. Shortly thereafter she passed on.

A Grief Observed is perhaps his shortest book, but it’s the most passionate, the most gut-wrenching, and the most gripping. In it, he deals with the hurt and grief he is drawn into, when he loses the person dearest to him, the person he loves.

Indeed, we are helpless without the love of God. Only if we acknowledge and embrace God’s love for us, can we acknowledge and embrace one another. Only then can we step out of the shadows and into the real world.

Pessimism

I can't stand pessimism.

Spending time with pessimists drives me crazy. It stresses me out.

They always notice the few clouds in an otherwise perfectly clear sky. Even on a warm sunny day they dread tomorrow, because it could be cloudy, or worse yet, rainy.

It seems so much more 'productive' to smile and look at the positives in life. I find that the more I smile, the more others smile. The more others smile, the more I smile.

Granted. We can't always be smiling. Sometimes life doesn't permit genuine smiles. But pessimism just seems like such a backward approach to life.