My Favourite Store

I went shopping at my favourite store today. I'd planned to reward myself for all the hard work I put into this past semester.

But alas, upon arriving at the store I was dismayed at all the prices. The cheapest pair of pants was $109. The cheapest t was $39. Most shirts were in the $50 range. The cheapest dress shirt was $99.

I remember the days when spending this kind of money was the norm. I didn't think twice about it. But today as I looked at the clothing items, I just couldn't bring myself to even try them on.

I suppose this is a good sign. I'm finally able to exercise a bit of self-discipline. Then again, maybe I'm just playing mindgames with myself, for I know that my parents arrive from Paraguay this Saturday, and I put an order in from them. And God forbid, if that fails, I am going to Europe this summer, and from what I understand, Benetton has great sales there during summers, especially in July.

Little wonder I'm planning to be in Italy in July. Maybe I should go to Europe with an empty backpack, and stock up on sale items while over there.....

One Step Closer

I received the World Cup tickets for Deutschland 2006 today. In exactly 4 weeks from now I'll be flying to Germany. Can't wait!!!

Back At It Again

Today I hiked the Grouse Grind for the first time this calendar year. I didn't do so well: 1 hour 8 minutes. It looks like over the past few months I've eaten a few too many meals. Well, on the positive side, I still enjoyed the hike. There's something therapeutic about the outdoors.

I've never gone up Grouse this early into the hiking season. In certain sections, the hiking path was still surrounded by up to one metre of snow.

I'll never grow weary of these sights:

He Is The Pledge: A Prayer

I love you, O LORD, my strength.
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer,
My God, my rock, in whom I take refuge,
My shield, and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
I call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. (Psalm 18:1-3)
_____

As we call upon your name oh LORD, we invite you to be in our midst. Quieten our minds and soften our hearts to the voice and guidance of your Holy Spirit who knows and searches us.

Thank you heavenly Father for the Easter season that passed by us a few weeks ago, and that the sadness and heaviness of Friday turned into joy and gladness on Sunday, when your Son Jesus arose and conquered sin and death.

Thank you that our faith in Jesus is not in vain, but that by your grace, through faith in Him, our sins are forgiven, and we are reconciled back to you. We praise you heavenly Father, for just as you raised your Son Jesus from the dead, so too one day you will raise us, and we look forward to the day when we can worship you in heaven. We are grateful that you work in our lives through the preaching of your word. May what we heard tonight serve to strengthen our faith and may it draw us closer to you.

We confess that we often times don’t get things right. We don’t delight in your good ways, but instead, we place ourselves at the centre of our lives. We are selfish and proud, and we give in to the traps laid out before us by the evil one. Centre our lives on you LORD, and help us to discern what is good and right in your eyes. Give us strength and discernment; so that we may faithfully walk the path you have set before us.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

Thank you for the city of Vancouver, and the many privileges we enjoy as a result of living here. Spring, warm weather, and sunny days give us more opportunities to go outside and enjoy the goodness of your creation. The mountains, the ocean, and the blooming flowers remind us of the words you spoke after you created the heavens and the earth and all that is in it: “and it was good.”

Help us to love the people of this city. Grant us boldness to share the name of your Son Jesus with our neighbours, and when our motivations are misguided, we ask that by your grace you would still use these situations to further your purposes for this city.

We also pray that local government and business leaders would acknowledge you as the source of all good things, and that they would conduct their affairs in ways that are according to your righteous ways.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

We are grateful for your church, and we rejoice with the many people all over the world who are coming to know your Son Jesus. Thank you for growing your church, and for raising faithful people who are eager to share the good news, even if at their own peril. Teach us, oh LORD, to lay aside the many things that distract us from sharing the gospel.

We pray for the church in Canada, and we ask that your Holy Spirit would perform mighty acts in this land. May there be a spiritual renewal grounded in faithfulness to Holy Scriptures and the accomplishment Jesus obtained on the cross.

We are also grateful for the work you did in our church during Easter through the services, the Bach Cantata, and the talks on the Da Vinci Code. May the word that was preached be like the seed that fell on good soil: may it yield much fruit, to the glory and honour of your name.

We ask that you would supply leaders for the upcoming Christianity Explored course here and for the Women @ 10 group. May people who are hungry for your truth have the courage to come to this course, and we pray for humility on our part to provide genuine hospitality.

Thank you for protecting the Artizo team that went to Calgary earlier this week, and for using your servants David and Eric to build up the future leaders of your church. We pray that you would lead all of our church leaders in truth and grace.

And finally, as we begin a new week, we silently entrust to your loving care those people you’ve placed on our hearts and minds.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

We love you Lord, for you are our strength, our rock, our fortress, and our deliverer. We take refuge in you, for you have saved us. Your name is worthy to be praised forever and ever.

Amen.

_____

Evening Service Prayer at St. John's Shaughnessy Anglican Church, based on I. Corinthians 15:12-20, and Psalm 18:1-3

Soap Opera

Who needs daytime soap operas when you can be in ministry and experience the same thing .. except, for real.

Last night, a few hours after I returned from the preaching conference in Calgary, a friend of mine called me. She's Christian, married, and she recently shared with me that she is suspecting her husband, also a Christian, is cheating on her.

She called me yesterday to confirm that her suspicions have been confirmed. Not only is her husband cheating on her, he's married to another woman, and has a child with her. What more, he's left my dear friend here, in order to be with the other woman who lives in the Philippines.

It angers me, that we (men) can be so fucking selfish, so diabolically arrogant and proud that we would betray women in such manner. It seems to me that cowardice is one of our core character flaws. I see it everyday in myself, and in other men.

Her life - at least for the next 3-5 years - is going to be one big, long, unending, nightmarish hell.

Human corruption never ceases to amaze me.

Lord have mercy!

Chirst have mercy!

Lord have mercy!

Done

I just finished my last paper for this term. How appropriate .. because it's a gloriously sunny day today. I'm sure the angels are celebrating too!

This afternoon I'm off to Calgary for a preaching conference. Back on Friday. Yay!

Burp

Today I made 3 bad decisions:

1- I drank beer. I don't like the taste of it, but I had a left-over bottle in my fridge from a few months' ago, so I cracked it open.

2- I combined beer with a Kenyan dinner: super spicy, super hot. Bad combination.

3- After dinner, I drank coffee. Decaf. Pathetic.

For the rest of the evening I found myself burping (once I even blurted out the entire alphabet in one burp .. immmmmmmmmmmmpressive!). I also felt like throwing up all night long.

Lesson learned.

Bye Bye Mark

Tonight we had a super fun going-away party for our dear friend Mark, who is graduating from Regent. It was good to spend some time with him and a few others, as we gathered for a bbq dinner, sharing, prayer, and games.

Over the past 1.5 years, Mark has - along with James - become a faithful and trustworthy friend at school. I rarely meet people who are as real and genuine as these two friends. Truly I'm lucky!

Now he's off to Idaho to get married, before moving to Italy with his wife Leah. I plan to attend his wedding in July, a week after I get back from Europe. I'm also trying to convince him to start blogging. Guess to be fair, I'm gonna have to give him my URL also. :)

Anyways, here are some pictures I took last night:

Everyone (minus Terri, Alison, and Alicia)















Terri & Alicia (a welcomed addition back into my life!)

Food!!!

Mark & Terri

Mark & Friends

Misfire

I just came back from a date with a lovely woman who shall remain nameless (for now .. and who knows, maybe for good). I've been out with her six times now, and things have been pretty good.

But tonight was terrible. Utterly terrible. Men are from Venus. Women are from Mars.

I think I'll become a monk.

7 More Days...

...until this semester is done.

Yesterday I wrote my History final exam. I wrote two essays in my exam:
* The 2nd Wave of British Spiritual Renewal, 1785-1835; and
* The Rise of Christianity in China in the 19th & 20th century

This Friday (4.21.06) I write my Anglican History/Theology Final exam. The exam will also be essay format. I'm preparing to write one historical essay, and 3 theological essays. Here are the topics I'm preparing for:
* History - The English Reformation (16th century)
* History - The Puritans (16th-17th century)
* Theology - Evangelicals (18th-19th century)
* Theology - High Churchmen --> Caroline Divines, Anglo-Catholicism (17th, 19th century)
* Theology - Modernists, Liberals (19th-20th century)

Finally, next Tuesday (4.25.06) my Anglican History/Theology paper is due. I'm writing on Richard Hooker, Sola Scriptura and Tradition.

Five-O-Clock Shadow

I took this picture about a week ago. I thought it was a rather clever picture, and the title of the journal entry is quite clever too I must say. ;)

By the way, the picture was taken at 6:36pm.

Coffee .. Again!!!

Yay! Lent is finished, and I can enjoy coffee again!

Although, I'm thinking of limiting coffee-intake to 4 days a week. Another option is to only drink coffee on special occasions, or only drink good quality coffee (that would eliminate pretty much half of my coffee intake, as well as my heartburns!).

Not drinking coffee for the past 6 weeks has been a good discipline, and it seems wise to continue it, even if perhaps in a less stringent format.

Discipline is a good thing.

Nigra Sum

I am black, but comely, O ye daughters of Jerusalem:

The King hath rejoiced in me, the King hath brought me into His very own chambers.

He spake unto me: Rise up, my fair one, and come away,

Lo, for the winter is past and gone, and the rain is over and gone.

The flowers appear on the earth and the time of renewal is come.

Alleluia!

_____

Song composed by Pablo Casals

Wait for the Lord

Wait for the Lord, whose day is near.

Wait for the Lord, keep watch, take heart!

Wait for the Lord, whose day is near.

Wait for the Lord, keep watch, take heart!

Wait for the Lord, whose day is near.

Wait for the Lord, keep watch, take heart!

Why Have You Forsaken Me?

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?

Why are you so far from saving me from the words of my groaning?

O my God, I cry by day, but you do not answer,

and by night, but I find no rest.

Yet you are holy,

enthroned on the praises of Israel.

In you our fathers trusted;

they trusted, and you delivered them.

To you they cried and were rescued;

in you they trusted and were not put to shame.

But I am a worm and not a man,

scorned by mankind and despised by the people.

All who see me mock me;

they make mouths at me;

they wag their heads;

"He trusts in the LORD;

let him deliver him;

let him rescue him,

for he delights in him!"

Yet you are he who took me from the womb;

you made me trust you at my mother's womb

you have been my God.

Be not far from me,

for trouble is near,

and there is none to help.

Many bulls encompass me;

strong bulls of Bashan surround me;

they open wide their mouths at me,

like a ravening and roaring lion.

I am poured out like water,

and all my bones are out of joint;

my heart is like wax;

it is melted within my breast;

my strength is dried up like a potsherd,

and my tongue sticks to my jaws;

you lay me in the dust of death.

For dogs encompass me;

a company of evildoers encircles me;

they have pierced my hands and feet -

I can count all my bones -

they stare and gloat over me;

they divide my garments among them,

and for my clothing they cast lots.

But you, O LORD, do not be far off!

O you my help, come quickly to my aid!

Deliver my soul from the sword,

my precious life from the power of the dog!

Save me from the mouth of the lion!

You have rescued me from the horns of the wild oxen!

I will tell of your name to my brothers;

in the midst of the congregation I will praise you:

You who fear the LORD, praise him!

All you offspring of Jacob, glorify him,

and stand in awe of him all you offspring of Israel!

For he has not despised or abhorred

the affliction of the afflicted,

and he has not hidden his face from him,

but has heard when he cried to him.

From you comes my praise in the great congregation;

my vows I will perform before those who fear him.

The afflicted shall eat and be satisfied;

those who seek him shall praise the LORD!

May your hearts live forever!

All the ends of the earth shall remember

and turn to the LORD,

and all the families of the nations shall worship before you.

For kingship belongs to the LORD,

and he rules over the nations.

All the prosperous of the earth eat and worship;

before him shall bow all who

go down to the dust,

even the one who could not keep himself alive.

Posterity shall serve him;

it shall be told of the Lord to the coming generation;

they shall come and proclaim his righteousness

to a people yet unborn,

that he has done it.

_____

Psalm 22. English Standard Version.

Ah, Holy Jesus

Ah, Holy Jesus, how hast thou offended

that man to judge thee, hath in hate pretended?

By foes derided, by thine own rejected,

O most afflicted.

Who was the guilty? Who brought this upon thee?

Alas, my treason, Jesus, hath undone thee.

'Twas I, Lord Jesus, I it was denied thee;

I crucified thee.

For me, kind Jesus, was thine incarnation,

Thy mortal sorrow, and thy life's oblation;

Thy death of anguish and thy bitter Passion.

For my salvation.

Therefore, kind Jesus, since I cannot pay thee,

I do adore thee, and will ever pray thee;

Think on thy pity and thy love unswerving,

Not my deserving.

V. Agnus Dei

Lamb of God, that takest away the sins of the world,
have mercy upon us.
Lamb of God, that takest away the sins of the world,
have mercy upon us.

Grant us peace.

***

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi,

miserere nobis.

Agnus Dei, qui tollis peccata mundi,

miserere nobis.

Dona nobis pacem.

_____

5th movement, Mass in B Minor, Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750).

IV. Sanctus

Holy, holy

is the Lord God of Hosts.

Heaven and earth are full

of his glory.

Hosanna in the highest.

Blessed is he that cometh

in the name of the Lord.

Hosanna in the highest.

***

Sanctus, sanctus,

Dominus Deus Sabaoth.

Pleni sunt coeli et terra

gloria ejus.

Osanna in excelsis.

Benedictus qui venit

in nomine Domini.

Osanna in excelsis.

_____

4th movement, Mass in B Minor, Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750).

III. Credo

I believe in God,

the Father almighty,

creator of heaven and earth,

and of all things visible and invisible.

And in one Lord Jesus Christ,

the only-begotten Son of God,

begotten of the Father before all worlds,

God of God,

Light of Light,

very God of very God,

begotten not made,

being of one substance with the Father,

by whom all things were made,

who for us men

and for our salvation

came down from heaven.

And was incarnate by the Holy Ghost

of the Virgin Mary,

and was made man.

He was crucified also for us;

under Pontius Pilate

he suffered and was buried.

And the third day he rose again,

according to the Scriptures,

and ascended into heaven.

He sitteth at the right hand of God the Father,

and he shall come again with glory

to judge both the quick and the dead,

whose kingdom shall have no end,

And in the Holy Ghost,

the Lord and giver of life,

who proceedeth from the Father and the Son,

who with the Father and the Son together

is worshipped and glorified,

who spake by the Prophets,

And in one holy, catholic

and apostolic church.

I acknowledge one baptism for the remission of sins.

And I look for the resurrection of the dead

and the life of the world to come.

Amen.

***

Credo in unum Deum,

Patrern omnipotentem,

creator coeli et terrae,

visibilium omnium et invisibilium.

Et in unum Dominum Jesum Christum,

Fillum Del unigenitum,

et ex Patre natum ante omnia saecula,

Deum de Deo, Lumen de Lumine,

Deum verum de Deo vero,

genitum non factum,

consubstantialem Patri,

per quem omnia facta sunt,

qui propter nos homines

et propter nostram salutem

descendit de coelis.

Et incarnatus est de Spiritu Sancto

ex Maria Virgine,

et homo factus est.

Crucifixus etiam pro nobis:

sub Pontio Pilato

passus et sepultus est.

Et resurrexit tertia die,

secundum Scripturas,

et ascendit in coelum.

Sedet ad dextram Dei Patris,

et iterum venturus est cum gloria

judicare vivos et mortuos,

cujus regni non erit finis.

Et in Spiritum Sanctum,

Dominum et vivificantem,

qui ex Patre Filioque procedit,

qui cum Patre et Filio simul

adoratur et conglorificatur,

qui locutus est per Prophetas.

Et unam sanctam catholicam et

apostolicam ecclesiam.

Confiteor unum baptisma

in remissionem peccatorum,

Et exspecto resurrectionem mortuorum

et vitam venturi saeculi.

Amen.

_____

3rd movement, Mass in B Minor, Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750).

II. Gloria

Glory be to God in the highest,

and on earth peace

to men of goodwill.

We praise thee,

we bless thee,

we worship thee,

we glorify thee.

We give thanks to thee

for thy great glory.

Lord God, heavenly King,

God the Father almighty:

O Lord, the only-begotten Son,

Jesu Christ most high:

Lord God, Lamb of God,

Son of the Father:

Thou that takest away the sins of the world,

have mercy upon us.

Thou that takest away the sins of the world,

receive our prayer.

Thou that sittest at the right hand of the Father,

have mercy upon us.

For thou only art holy,

thou only art the Lord,

thou only art the most high,

Jesu Christ:

With the Holy Ghost

in the glory of God the Father.

Amen.

***

Gloria in excelsis Deo,

et in terra pax

hominibus bonae voluntatis.

Laudamus te,

benedicimus te,

adoramus te,

glorificamus te.

Gratias agimus tibi

propter magnam gloriam tuam.

Domine Deus, Rex coelestis,

Deus Pater omnipotens:

Domine Fili unigenite,

Jesu Christe altissime:

Domine Deus, Agnus Dei,

Filius Patris:

Qui tollis peccata mundi,

miserere nobis.

Que tollis peccata mundi,

suscipe deprecationem nostram.

Qui sedes ad dextram Patris,

miserere nobis.

Quoniam tu solus sanctus,

tu solus Dominus,

tu solus Altissimus,

Jesu Christe:

Cum Sancto Spiritu

in gloria Dei Patris.

Amen.

_____

2nd movement, Mass in B Minor, Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750).

I. Kyrie

Lord, have mercy.
Christ, have mercy.
Lord, have mercy.

***

Kyrie eleison.

Christie eleison.

Kyrie eleison.

_____

1st movement, Mass in B Minor, Johann Sebastian Bach (1685-1750).

Mass in B Minor

Tomorrow I'm going to a performance of Johann Sebastian Bach's Mass in B Minor. This piece is my favourite of all.

We're nearing the end of Lent Season, and are approaching Passion Week, beginning with Palm Sunday a few days from now. It seems very appropriate to usher in this Holy Easter Week with the text of Bach's great masterpiece.

I will devote the next five days to journaling the text of Bach's great work. Here are the movements of the piece:

I. Kyrie
II. Gloria
III. Credo
IV. Sanctus
V. Agnus Dei

Musically, I find Bach's Mass to be a work of passion - which makes honouring this piece during Passion Week that much more appropriate. It resonates with a heaviness of soul, as it foresees Christ's Passion.

The liturgical layout of this piece is brilliant too. The Kyrie and Agnus Dei are both classics that begin and end the work. In the middle is a word for word rendition of the Nicene Creed, the creed millions of us followers of our Lord Jesus Christ recite on a weekly basis. This creed has been the central confessional creed of the church since the fourth century. Talk about a perseverance of the Saints! As the middle movement of Bach's work, the Creed separates the Gloria from the Sanctus.

Praise be to you, God Almighty, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Dinner

Vivid

Today I worked really hard on my research paper, from 7:30am until 5:30. It was torture for two reasons: 1- my back hurts like hell; and 2- it was sunny out there, and I sure felt like going out there and enjoying it.

But after I studied, I rewarded myself by going for a walk. I went to the breadstore, as well as the grocery store. On my way, here are some pictures I took.

I couldn't help but notice the richness of spring: whites, blues, greens, purples. I think that's why spring is such a special season. The vivid colours breathe life into my soul.

Hexenschuβ

I woke up this morning and noticed that I'd slept in a really awkward position.

I got up out of bed and went straight into the shower. After showering, I grabbed for my towel, and then, I felt it: PINCH. My nerve in my lower back pinched me so hard I just about fell over right there. I hate getting pinched nerves, I get them about once a year.

My dad always calls them Hexenschuβ, which is the German equivalent. It means "witch shot," and gives the impression of being "shot by a witch." That expression seems appropriate to me, because I certainly feel like I was shot by a witch. I'm so sore I can barely move!!!

To make matters worse, Tuesdays are my worst days. I had no less than 4 "appointments" (ie - classes, meetings) which I couldn't miss. All day long I walked around moaning and groaning like an old man.

Better stop there, before I get accused of being a whiner.

Note to self: next time you wake up after sleeping in an awkward position, stay in bed all day.

In Love

I finally met the woman of my dreams. The search is over....!

BNO

Last night was boys night out, with James, Mark & Mark. Man was it fun....

We went out for Pakistani food, and as usual, it was so delicious!

Afterwards we went to James' place, and played Rook until 4am. That's right, 6 hours of playing cards. Reminds me of my university days....

No More Longjohns!

Good news! The weather's (finally) warm enough now so that I don't have to wear longjohns outside anymore. Last week I wore them, and I began sweating ever so slightly even while walking outside. Yesterday I didn't wear them at all and it was perfectly fine.

I know I know .. my fellow Vancouverites are going to say I'm pathetic for wearing longjohns to begin with. It's not cold enough in Vancouver. To that I say "whatever .. buscense un bosque y pierdense.

Three cheers for Spring!!

Hip hip .. Horray!
Hip hip .. Horray!
Hip hip .. Horray!

Agnus Dei

Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, have mercy on us.

Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world, grant us peace.

Sneeze

I've always made fun of people who are allergic to perfumes, colognes, or other fragrances. Well, no more laughter .. or better yet, now I can laugh at myself too!!

The past few weeks I've noticed that whenever I'm around someone who's wearing some kind of a fragrance, I start sneezing. Non-stop. It looks like I've caught the Fragrance Bug.

I'm concerned. What's gonna happen with the sweeties? How am I gonna work magic, how am I gonna get fresh with the ladies now?

Bob George And Fishing

Today's my father's 65th birthday, so it's very appropriate to write something about him.

My father's a great man, and I'm very proud of him. There are many reasons to be proud of him, but the most important reason is that he's a man of God.

I'm very thankful that I was raised in a Christian family. Of course, I haven't always enjoyed being a part of this family, but that's normal, isn't it? When I look at society nowadays, and the (lack of) family values that children are raised with, I can't help but fall on my knees and thank God for the kind of family we've had. The fact that I was raised in a loving, caring, God-fearing/honouring environment is largely due to my father.

I admire his strength of character and his determination. I also respect his convictions. True, some of his convictions are not the same as mine (Bob George or some other radio/televangelist may have something to do with this), but I deeply respect him nonetheless. In fact, my dad's convictions have been very challenging to my own faith. Whenever I hold a different point of view than his, he challenges me to defend it, and if I don't defend it well, he won't let me get away with it. On the other hand, he always defends his points of views very well.

Over the past few years he's developed an interest in fishing, and this has been very good. I've always believed that it's good for people to develop "hobbies", and it seems to me that dad has done just that. He's invited me to come along a few times, but I've always shied away. This summer that won't be the case. I look forward to go fishing with him.

Here's a picture of dad enjoying his new hobby. I believe this picture was taken in the summer of 2005:

Books Books Books

I went to the library today to get out books for my two research papers that are due by April 10th. I got out 28 books!!!

Here's proof:

I'm going to write two papers on the church, scripture, and tradition. One paper wil look at the history and effects of evangelicalism's disregard of tradition, and the other one will examine theological aspects of scripture and tradition in anglicanism. Details to follow....

False Creek In 2 Hours

On a beautifully sunny day, I decided to go for a walk around False Creek today. I took my camera with me, and took some pictures. Here's a sample of what I discovered:

10th and Columbia


Grafitti


Alley


Tugboat


Plaza


Walkway


False Creek


Babel


Poverty


Wealth


Cambie Street Bridge


I love this city! You can find a few more pictures I took here.

Friday Lunches

This semester, Friday lunches have been very special for me, for two reasons: communion, and lunch.

I have a class from 9-12 on Fridays, with Dr. Packer, and that in itself is a treat, but after class we have a communion service in the small prayer chapel, and these services have been deeply meaningful to me. There's usually a small group of us, between 10 and 15, who pack that small room, read The Communion service from the Book of Common Prayer, and listen to a small homily (usually from Dr. Packer).

What I love about this time together is fellowshiping in a small group around a common liturgy and communion. There is something special about being a part of a small group of people that gathers together to worship our loving Father in heaven.

An added bonus (and in comparison to the communion sercive it really is just a bonus) is that after the service we all go out for lunch. We go to this super good chinese restaurant close to school, and yes, lunch is free. The Anglican Studies program pays for it. Amazing!

Is there anything better than fellowshiping with God and friends over a meal? I think not....

Spear Warrior

Someone looked up what my name means, and came up with the following:

* Great Spearman
* Rich spear, blessed spear

My name doesn't exactly have a profound meaning. But watch out, if you piss me off I'll stab ya through.

I've never been thrilled about my name, but I've never hated it either. I also don't like my name shortened. It sounds so damn short. It ends before you even start.

I wish I had a middle name. A biblical name like Caleb, or Joshua. Matthias is nice too.

Lower Expectations

I need to lower my expectations of people, especially my friends.

Prayer Of Jabez Falls Short In Africa

I found an interesting article, and have posted it for your reading pleasure. It illustrates how our theology of God directly affects how we view the world, and how we interact with it. Note: name of author and source follow article. Thoughts? Opinions?

Bruce Wilkinson, author of the best-selling book The Prayer of Jabez, made a big splash nearly four years ago when he announced his ambitious plan to help children suffering from AIDS in Africa.

Not everything for Wilkinson has gone according to plan, unfortunately. A page one feature in the Dec. 19 The Wall Street Journal captures the sad tale in a nutshell: "In 2002 Bruce Wilkinson, a Georgia preacher whose self-help prayer book had made him a rich man, heard God's call, moved to Africa and announced his intention to save one million children left orphaned by the AIDS epidemic. In October [2005], Wilkinson resigned in a huff from the African charity he founded. He abandoned his plan to house 10,000 children in a facility that was to be an orphanage, bed-and-breakfast, game reserve, Bible college, industrial park and Disneyesque tourist destination in the tiny kingdom of Swaziland. What happened in between is a story of grand hopes and inexperience, divine inspiration and human foibles. …[H]is departure left critics convinced he was just another in a long parade of outsiders who have come to Africa making big promises and quit the continent when local people didn't bend to their will."

It is not my aim to gloat at Wilkinson's failure. To the contrary, I mourn what this means for the millions of African children in crisis who apparently will not benefit from his efforts. I also want to honor Wilkinson's desire to help the least fortunate. It would have been easy for him to take the wealth he gained from his book sales and live a life of personal comfort.

This chain of events, however, should not pass without a moment of theological reflection. The "blessed life" that Wilkinson has helped to promote carries with it a number of assumptions about where God is present in the world, and how God acts in response to the prayers of the faithful.

The Prayer of Jabez is based on a passage out of the book of Chronicles, in which a devoted man named Jabez asks God for a favor: "Oh that you would bless me and enlarge my border, and that your hand might be with me, and that you would keep me from hurt and harm!" The fact that God honors Jabez' prayer and blesses him with great riches indicates to Wilkinson a God-principle. If we in pure heart ask God for a blessing - and do so using the very words that Jabez prayed - then God will bring wondrous gifts into our life. As The Wall Street Journal reports, Wilkinson interprets the wild commercial success of his books (roughly 20 million copies sold combined) as yet another proof of the miraculous power of the Jabez prayer. In other words, it worked for Jabez, it worked for Wilkinson, and now it should work for you. With the fiasco in Africa now behind him - and the full Journal report makes clear that fiasco is the appropriate term - I wonder if Wilkinson has reconsidered his theology.

Maybe because I spent so many years in poor regions of the globe I could never accept the prayer-in-blessing-out approach to faithful living. Straight to the point, I have known too many devoted Christians for whom life did not bring them material blessing. Their children still died of infectious diseases that plagued their village. They could not avoid the violence that dictators and ideologues so often use to cow the powerless. Their territory did not expand because their only path for survival was a daily labor with their hands. Yet they did not lose faith, or cease praying for God's blessing.

As I ponder on their lives, I find a more fitting theology for God's presence and action in the world to be laid out in the book of Hebrews. There we are encouraged to have "faith in things not yet seen," and are offered models of individuals who tried to lead devoted lives that honor God. We read that some of them did receive great material blessings, while others ended up in the dens of lions or stoned due to their principled living. We learn, in other words, that God does hear their prayers and loves them profoundly, but it does not always bring them material riches or expanded territory.

Wilkinson's doctrine in fact implies that social structures are immaterial. An individual reciting the right prayer can transcend an AIDS epidemic in his or her village or escape being bought and sold into slavery (like 27 million people on this planet yet today). Perhaps now that Wilkinson has immersed himself in Africa, he better understands that the curse of poverty is not a spiritual punishment, or an indication of a lack of faith. To bring blessings to the orphans and widows of Africa, a dramatic shift in values - political, economic, and personal - will be required. And that challenge cannot be owned by Africans alone; it falls squarely on the shoulders of us in rich nations, who enjoy such great material "blessings."
Just like the next Bible reader, I could pick out individual passages that seem to suggest that God will give us whatever we desire as long as we ask for it with a pure heart. "You can even move this mountain" with such a prayer, as Jesus teaches his disciples in the gospels. I do not summarily discount these passages, nor do I assume that we should never pray for rain in a time of drought.

But the weight of the biblical message balances heavily toward a prayer life that yields courage, love, and compassion to do the will of God. The expectation of material gain and miraculous blessings may even distract us on that pilgrimage. The passage in Hebrews calls us, based on past heroes of the faith, "to run the race in front of us," confident that devoting our lives to God's work is all the reward we will ever need.

_____

This article was written by David Batstone, and can be found on the Sojourners website.

My First Sermon(ette)

I just came back from preaching my first sermon: well, it was a mini-sermon.

No, I didn't preach to our church congregation, but preaching to our church interns and pastor was nerveracking enough...!

I preached on Philippians 1:1-11. I was not nearly as nervous as I thought I would be. This is likely due to prayer and preparation. I'm thankful for friends who prayed for me as I prepared for this task. It also seems true that the more work and preparation we put into a task, the more we learn, and the more comfortable we get "doing" that task.

After my sermon I was critiqued in terms of primarily theological content/message, but also style. My fellow-interns are so gracious. They are so good to me. Our pastor's comment about my sermon was that it was "very serious and got us right to the core of the gospel without wasting any time, and that's good". That sorta made me laugh.

Thank you Jesus. May your Name be lifted, to the glory of the Father.

Stormy

Today was a stormy day. The weather began calm enough in the morning, just a little bit cloudy. But by 10am it was raining hard, and it continued to rain pretty much all day.

In the afternoon it started to snow - huge, thick, wet flakes that didn't stick to the ground.

In the early evening it hailed.

Now, 10pm, it's back to rain. It's windy too.

My Weekend

Friday evening:

* went to Claudia's for a party. It was a last-minute thing, and even though very few people came, I still had a good time. Damian, a first year student whom I'm getting to know a little, came along. He is engaged to a Brazilian-Japanese girl. Funny, 3rd culture kids are becoming more and more common. Maybe that'll help make me feel less like a fish out of water..!

* surprise news of the night was Terri's engagement. The thing is, I didn't even know she had a boyfriend, and I know her fairly well (or so I thought!!!). I can't believe she kept that she had a boyfriend a secret from her own friends. Seems strangely bizzarre to me. But then again, her story is a bit unusual. Whatever....

* also, Suzannah who just recently came back from her 8 month missions term in El Salvador, was at Claudia's. She came back, and is marrying my good Bolivian buddy David in a few weeks time. It was great seeing her again.

Saturday:

* uneventful day, except for two things. I made decent progress on a book that I'm reading on the church and tradition. Maybe I'll write about this topic one of these days.

* in the evening I went out for a late movie with a couple of buddies. Had a good time, and I enjoyed the movie. But it did remind me why I don't watch movies anymore: I always walk out disturbed and astonished at how desensitized I've become to issues such as profanity, sexuality, and killing. They seem so normal to me. There's no difference between them and eating a slice of toast. That makes me uncomfortable. On the other hand, the movie did have some redeeming qualities, and it was good to see it, as it gives me a pulse of what's happening in our surrounding culture, but still, it disturbs me spiritually. Spending time with friends was good though, after spending the rest of the day cooped up inside my apartment.

Sunday:

* I went to the early morning church service, 7:30am. I love that service. Have been attending it semi-regularly for the past 4 months, and plan to continue doing so.

* for the rest of the day I studied Scripture, Philippians 1:1-11. I'm preaching a 5 minute homily/sermonette on it this Thursday, to the other church interns. I'm quite intimidated, preaching to a bunch of guys who have preached many times before. But they are very gracious, and I think they will be very supportive. On a related note, I'm astonished how immersing myself in Scripture affects me. It lifts me up. It feeds me in "spiritual mysteries" the way few other things do. Praise be!

Today's Plan

7:30am - get up, journal until 8:30

8:30 - breakfast, shower

9:30 - bus to school

10 - research, read

12:30pm - lunch

1 - ministry interview

2:30 - research, read

5:30 - bus home

8 - party @ Claudia's .. details to follow

Better

I'm feeling much better lately. I can't quite put my finger on the reason, because all the things that usually cause me anxiety are still there, minus the anxiety.

I'm feeling more upbeat. Perhaps it's because spring is on the way. Or maybe it's because I'm excited about my summer trip to Europe. Or could it be that after a six month emotional "drought" season things are beginning to normalize?

Earlier today I sat down and had a hot chocolate with Christina: wow, she's so lovely! Then I studied with Annie for awhile. She just may have the most intoxicating smile I know. Finally, I ended the day by talking with Faith on the phone. Oh wait, her smile is equally intoxicating. Hmmmm.

(Incidentally, I did not get much work done today) :-D

All three women are very godly. All three are gems. But alas, all of them are forbidden gems.

Still, I'm feeling better.

Who Am I? Here Am I!

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, bringing upon us my favourite time of the year: Lent, leading to Easter. I didn't grow up observing Lent, but over the past five years it has become the most meaningful time of the year for me. It is a time of repentance and renewal. It is the advent of springtime. Orthodox liturgy points in this direction: The Springtime of Fast has dawned, the flower of repentance has begun to open.

Indeed, as Orthodox archbishop and author Kallistos Ware says: "Repentance - metanoia, 'change of mind' - is not just ashes, but an opening flower." I love the simplicity and profundity of that statement. Lent lasts for 46 days, and culminates on the day of our Lord's Resurrection on Easter Sunday.

Below is an excerpt of archbishop Ware's writings* on Lent:

'Lent has, therefore, a fundamentally baptismal orientation, which we often overlook and which we need to retrieve. The Lenten Fast is an annual opportunity for us to reflect afresh on the centrality of baptism in our Christian experience, and a call for us each to renew our baptismal promise ... '

'It is an invitation to reaffirm, not just through words but through actions, our rootedness in baptism as the foundation of all our Christian life; it is a season of self-exploration during which we become actively conscious of the indwelling presence of Christ and the Holy Spirit that exists 'secretly' or 'mystically' within our hearts from the moment of our baptism.'

'At the same time, Lent is more than that. As well as renewing my own baptismal commitment, I need also to ask myself: what am I personally doing to bring others to faith and baptism in Christ?

... whether we are clergy or laity, each is to see evangelism as her or his direct responsibility. What am I myself doing to preach the gospel 'to all nations'? ... We are to ask ourselves: What have I done since last Easter to communicate this light to others?

'Lent, then, is about baptism and mission. It signifies a reawakening of our baptismal initiation, a revivified missionary dedication. It is to say both: 'who am I?' and 'here am I.' Recalling our identity as baptized Christians, we ask ourselves: who am I? And, responding to Christ's missionary command, we affirm with the prophet (Isaiah 6:8): here am I.'

_____

Excerpt taken from Archbishop Ware's essay, "Lent and Consumer Society".

Hail, True Body

Last night was my debut in the Evening Service Choir. During Holy Communion we sang a piece by W. A. Mozart, Ave Verum Corpus:

Hail, true body, born of the Virgin Mary, who has truly suffered, and was sacrificed on the cross for mankind, whose side was pierced, whence flowed water and blood. Be for us a foretaste of heaven in the test of death."

It's a great piece. I love the reference to Christ being "for us a foretaste of heaven." I found this especially meaningful while partaking the Eucharist. Indeed, the Lord's Supper points towards a coming banquet with our Lord Jesus Christ.

God In Everyday Tasks

Menial everyday tasks lead me to worship God.

Sometimes I pray silently while making my bed. Other times I catch myself saying "Lord have Mercy" or "Christ have Mercy," or reciting the Lord's Prayer, while organizing my books, sweeping the floor, or folding laundry. The last few days I've unexpectedly burst into tears while shaving or showering. Today it happened while washing dishes.

When these kind of moments happen, I'm driven to my knees in worship and adoration of God. I find this strange, because the reason that tears flow to begin with, is because of the brokenness I see in my life: loneliness, jealousy, envy, pride, insecurity, and lack of certainty. But instead of focusing on myself when these intense moments of pain come, I'm led to seek comfort from someone else. I'm overwhelmed by something, someone, to look outside myself for a solution. I'm compelled to throw myself at the feet of God and acknowledge his greatness, his majesty, his sovereignty. I'm driven to praise.

Perhaps this is what St. Paul was talking about when he said in Romans 8:26-27:

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."

Rudolf And Jelena

I just emailed my cousin Rudolf in Germany my travel plans for this summer. I hope he will play host to me, at least during my stay in Frankfurt.

I also asked him to send me his sister Jelena's email address. She lives in Berlin, and I hope to hook up with her too.

This is exciting!

Incidentally, I found writing in German very difficult. I often speak Spanish at school, but I rarely speak German.

Deutschland, Ich Komme!

Germany, I'm coming!

I booked my flight to the World Cup in Germany today. Here is my itinerary:

May 31, 8:45am: Vancouver - Montreal
May 31, 5:15pm: Montreal - Frankfurt
Arrive in Frankfurt on June 1, 6:30am.

July 12, 1:15pm: Frankfurt - Toronto
July 12, 5pm: Toronto - Vancouver
Arrive in Vancouver on July 12, 7pm.

I will spend one month in Germany, and 10 days in Italy. Included in my German visit are the following cities: Frankfurt, Berlin, Köln, Kaiserslautern, and a few other historical cities/sites yet to be determined. In Italy, I hope to spend time in Rome, Pompeii, and Assisi.

Next up? Train tickets!

Get Lost

My super-duper Bolivian friend Claudia shared with me a great way to tell someone off (ie – “get lost”, “take a hike”, “go away”). For the best effect, I'll say it in Spanish (with English tranlsation):

"Buscate un bosque y perdete!"

"Find yourself a forest and get lost!”

I love it. I look forward to using it. I meet at least one person a day whom I’d like to say that to..!

Join The Choir

Two days ago I joined our church Evening Service Choir. Ever since I was a little boy, mom's been telling me that I should sing in a choir (she always tells me I have a good singing voice), and I admit, I love choral music.

I don't like most contemporary church music, and since our church sings a good number of contemporary music, maybe the best way for me to sing songs that speak to me spiritually is by joining a choir. Our choir only sings once a month, and we only have two practises a month, so the level of commitment is not overly strenuous.

Our Evening Choir Director's name is Amber, and she's fabulous, young and very dynamic. We practised two songs: Brother James' Air, and a Latin piece by Mozart.

Our first performance is next Sunday night during Holy Communion. Hold your applause, please. ;)

Lovely Chat

I just finished talking to Alicia. I was sitting on one of the study couches at school and she came up out of nowhere to say hi. She sat down, and we talked for about 30 minutes.

It was a great. I'm happy.

Deliverance: A Prayer

The Psalmist reminds the Israelites of God’s deliverance from the hands of king Pharaoh: “Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth! I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.” (78:1-4)
_____

Heavenly Father we thank you that you have revealed yourself in history, through prophets and through Holy Scriptures that attest to your faithfulness and your steadfast guidance. We are grateful to you for the examples we have in servants such as Moses and Aaron, who did not harden their hearts towards you, but courageously stood against sin and did what’s right in your eyes.

Thank you for delivering your people, and for the good plans that you have for us, most evident in your Son, our Lord Jesus, whom you sent in order to reconcile us back to you. He showed us how to be truly human, and he paid for it with his own blood, even his life. Father, soften our hearts, so that we can follow your Son Jesus. Give us faith and steadfastness in following you.

So often we think we know better than you. We are proud, and even though we know our ways lead to destruction and despair, yet we still reject your good and righteous ways. Lord have mercy on us, and soften our hearts. May we be more faithful in clinging to you and your great promises.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

We pray for the world, a world that’s full of disaster, hurt, and pain. We think of those who have lost loved ones, family members, or homes in the landslides in the Philippines, or the earthquakes in Pakistan. Grant wisdom in the continued efforts to find survivors, and to feed, clothe, and house the hungry and homeless. We pray especially for your grace and protection upon Christian aid agencies and missionaries in these areas.

We also pray regarding the recent unrest in the Middle East, Indonesia, Pakistan, and Nigeria. May calm heads prevail amidst clashing worldviews and values. Bring healing oh Lord, to the people of the Muslim faith, through your Son Jesus Christ.

And we bring to you the western world, a world that marginalizes faith in a loving God, in favour of self-promotion, self-glorification, and self-improvement. Lord, have mercy on us. Empower us with your Holy Spirit, to love you and our neighbour with all our heart, mind, and soul.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

We pray for your church, still growing, still proclaiming the good news of Jesus Christ. We thank you particularly for our parish, St. John’s, and your steadfast guidance through many seasons, some good, and some painful. We are especially encouraged by the unity of heart and spirit evident earlier this week at the Vestry Meeting. Amidst the many challenges, you continue to strengthen, sustain, and guide us. May this unity bring glory to you, Lord, and may it bring us closer to you and one another in humility and love.

Additionally, we are grateful for the courageous leadership of your servants David, Dan, Neil, and the many others who experience the costs of following you in a very real way. Bless them, and strengthen them by your Word, by your Holy Spirit, and through your people.

Continuing to pray for the Anglican Communion, we direct intercession to you for our bishop, Michael I, and Andrew H, the Canadian Primate. We pray for special guidance and grace upon them both. Draw them to yourself Lord Jesus. We pray that they would not harden their hearts towards the gospel, but that they would embrace the truth of the gospel. Grant the gift of faith, Lord. We ask for wisdom for both of these leaders: wisdom that’s rooted not in the inklings and desires of this world, but wisdom that comes from you, the true fountain of wisdom.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

As we begin a new week, we silently entrust to your loving care the following people you’ve placed on our hearts and minds.

Lord Jesus, we offer ourselves to you. We commit ourselves to you. Fill the deepest longing we have with your love, so that we may be able to reach out to others in your name. May we join the Psalmist in ensuring that “the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done” are passed on from generation to generation.

All this we pray by the power of the Holy Spirit, in the name of the risen Lord Jesus Christ, always worshiping, praising, and giving glory to the Father.

Amen.

_____

Evening Service Prayer at St. John's Shaughnessy Anglican Church, based on Exodus 7:1-24, and Psalm 78:1-4

Communal Prayer

The past few weeks I've really been blessed by communal prayer.

While my personal prayer life's struggling because of my lack of discipline, praying with friends has been thriving to the point where I often seek out friends to pray with. The past two weeks I've had no less than 6 instances where I had the opportunity to pray with one person or more.

I'm thankful for these prayer warriors God's placed in my life. Yet another manifestation of God's grace poured upon us.

I Could Get Used To This!

It's sunny (but crisp) today .. again. I think this is 5 straight days of sun!

Valentine

Today it seems appropriate to talk about the real definition of love. It's not your typical definition found on tv, radio, bus, or newspaper ads. It is much more revolutionary, mind-blowing, indeed lifechanging, than anything the world has to offer. Here goes:

"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us..." (I. John 3:16)

"God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us." (I. John 4:8-12)

Conceptually, I know and understand the implications of God's love for us. However, on a day to day basis, I struggle accepting that I'm loved by God and others. As well, I struggle loving others, especially my enemies. Nevertheless, I will keep at it, with God's help.

Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy.

Kyrie eleison. Christe eleison. Kyrie eleison.

Challenges Of Online Journaling

I've decided to change the way I journal.

To this point, I've refrained from using people's names online, choosing instead to give their first and last initials. I've done this primarily to protect people's identity. The internet's a powerful tool that unless treated with caution can compromise trust and care between friends.

At the same time, there's also the issue of gossip. One can write down just about anything about anyone in a private journal, because no other eyes will read it, but in the sphere of the world wide web everything is visible to everyone, providing a ripe environment for gossip. This is not something I want to do!

I want to continue to respect privacy and refrain from gossiping, but I also would like to make the journal more accessible and personal for those who regularly read my thoughts. Using initials seems impersonal and cold.

One suggestion given to me was to include people's first name, while just giving the initials of the last name. Another thought is to use nicknames. Either of these approaches would continue to protect privacy, while making the journal more personal. I think they are worth a try.

I invite your comments. And yes, if my rants amount to what in your mind is gossip, let me know, because that's certainly not my intention. Be warned though. If you accuse me of gossip, I just may end up writing about your complaint on my next journal entry! ;)

Tasting The World

Today was a super duper busy day. I went snowshoeing at Cypress Mountain from 9am until 5pm, then I went to an event at Regent, "Taste of the World", from 6 until 11.

A few words about each, as well as a highlight.

Snowshoeing: we went with our church group Fusion. Although turnout was low, less than 15, those who came had a super time. We went up to the summit of Cypress Mountain. The hike took 3.5 hours in total, lunchbreak included. The weather was sunny and crisp, although at the summit it was windy and cold. As usual, the view at the top was breathtaking. I'm convinced that when God "makes all things new", he will use Vancouver and its glorious surroundings as a blueprint. Thank you Lord for creating a world with such beauty and glory. The heavens indeed declare your mighty works!

Here are some pictures taken at the summit:

Taste of the World: This is one of my favourite annual events at Regent. It's a night when students from all cultures cook food and share it in one gigantic potluck. Afterwards, there's a talent show where representatives from many various cultures give us a glimpse into their culture through art, skit, poetry, or song. This year, the following nations were respresented in one way or another: Malaysia, Bulgaria, Switzerland, Japan, Germany, Great Britain, USA, New Zealand, Korea, Latin America, and Canada.

My contribution was as follows: for Canada, I helped cook pancakes, and I also helped out in a group song of Stompin' Tom Connors' The good ol' hockey game. For Latin America my contribution was mate and I also helped sing a group song La Bamba. I did not make any contribution to the German team. They didn't invite me. Mind you, I didn't offer myself either.

Highlight: The highlight of the night - at least for me - was when the Korean presentation asked for 10 volunteers to come forward, to participate in a tv gameshow of sorts very typical in Korea. I went forward. What we were asked to do was juggle this little puck with tassles on it (how lame .. why not just a ball? And why tassles?). Anyways, I won the competition. The great thing is I beat a Korean in the final. I beat him at his own game. The crowd was cheering and clapping, it was great fun! My reward for winning the competition was a Korean bookmark. Good thing I collect bookmarks...

Lunch With Packer

I went out for lunch with JIP today! After our morning class we had a Communion Service as usual on Fridays at noon. Then, a whole bunch of us went out for lunch, and lo and behold, Packer was one of them. Even better, I got to sit beside him. Here are three interesting things that happened during our time with him:

1- On our way to the restaurant, I was walking with a friend, while Dr. Packer was walking ahead of us on his own. He slowed down, turned around, and saw us walking together, and then said: "May I walk with you two? I'm dressed as a clergyman, and everyone is looking at me funny."

2- At the lunch table, he turned over to me and said: "Now this is really embarrasing for me, but I admit that I don't know your name. Would you mind giving it to me?" He was genuinely embarrassed that he didn't know my name. I told him what it was, and that I was in one of his classes. He knew that already, but admitted he has a terrible memory. We had a nice conversation afterwards.

3- Finally, another professor who was also present, asked him a philosophical/theological question, upon which Dr. Packer embarked on an in-depth, 20 minute answer. The question was essentially: "Do you think the church was right in dropping realism in favour of nominalism during the time of the enlightenment?" I won't get into details about his response, but I will just say that I was astonished at the amount of wisdom this man has. He summarized 2,000 years of philosophical thought in the matter of 15 minutes, applied it theologically, brought in Scripture, and underlined its significance for us today. Amazing...

Christian Designations

Today was a good day: it was sunny (yay .. for the 3rd straight day!!!) and cold, and I got a lot of schoolwork done. An interesting assignment I completed entailed filling out a Ministry Profile.

In it I had to answer "Yes" or "No" to the designations below. "Yes" characterizes my religious upbringing, and "No" does not. Here are the categories, and what I picked:

Protestant: Yes
Catholic: No
Orthodox: No
Jewish: No
Non-church: No
Fundamentalistic: No
Charismatic/Pentecostal: No
Pietistic: Yes
Liberal: No
Conservative: Yes
Evangelical: Yes
Anti-Church: No
Legalistic: Yes

A few thoughts about my designations:

* I was surprised at how many categories I said "Yes" to. Essentially I'm a Protestant Pietistic Conservative Legalistic Evangelical.

* The only category I don't like that I had to say "Yes" to was "Legalistic." I don't like that designation, yet I think that it at least partially describes my perception of what the Christian faith was all about as I was growing up. I trust that God is working in my life, sanctifying my legalistic tendencies.

* I was saddened that I could not say "Yes" to "Catholic" and "Orthodox". Somehow, I feel distant from our spiritual forefathers. The Reformation troubles me, because it led to denominationalism. I don't want to be part of a church that detaches and ignores its own history. Detachment is anathema to the incarnation.

* I want to be "Orthodox" because that's the only church that has maintained apostolic links to the early church. Furthermore, I want to be "Catholic" in the sense that the faith I adhere to is the one agreed to by "all Christians at all times and in all places." Finally, I want to be "Evangelical", proclaiming the good news of God in Jesus Christ. I want to be a Catholic Orthodox Evangelical.

I conclude with a prayer for the unity of the church (from the Book of Common Prayer, page 40):

O Lord Jesus Christ, who didst say unto thine Apostles, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you": Regard not our sins, but the faith of thy Church, and grant unto it that peace and unity which is agreeable to thy will; who livest and reignest with the Father and the Holy Spirit, one God, world without end. Amen.

Recipe For Joy

There's no better recipe for lifting our soul out of the dirt and muck of everyday life than listening to a good dose of JS Bach.

I've been listening to his Mass in B minor the past few days, and I am continually and neverendingly amazed and blessed by the depth of love for God he has, and how this love and devotion shines through his music.

It lifts up my soul and prompts me to join the mountains, ocean, rocks, angels, heavenly hosts, and the rest of creation in worshiping and praising the everlasting Trinity.

Here are the English lyrics* for "Gloria", one of the movements of the Mass:

Glory be to God in the highest, and on earth peace to his people.

We praise you, we bless you, we adore you, we glorify you.

We give you thanks for your great glory.

Lord God, heavenly king, almighty God and Father; only begotten Son of the Lord, Jesus Christ most high: Lord God, Lamb of God, Son of the Father.

Who takest away the sin of the world; have mercy upon us:

For you alone are Holy, you alone are the Lord, you alone are Most High: Jesus Christ

With the Holy Spirit in the glory of God the Father. Amen.

_____

*Source: The Bach Choir of Bethlehem

Relationally-Challenged

Over the past few months I've had to come to terms with the painful realization that the stereotype statement "guys are afraid of commitment" so often attributed to men, is applicable to me also. Yes, it's true. I'm afraid of commiting to a woman.

However, while trying to make sense of this rather devilish reality, I've come to wonder what women's equivalent sin is. I mean after all, both, Adam and Eve sinned. Sin is not something men have exclusive rights to. Surely women also have relational issues.

The answer came to me over the last few days, and it came in a clear and unmistakeable way. Here it is: women have the same commitment problem men do. We just call it something different. We call it "getting cold feet."

The reasons for being so afraid of commitment probably differ between men and women (and that's a whole different story), but still, let's call a spade a spade. Men and women are both afraid of commitment. We are both relationally-challenged.

Therefore, by the powers granted to me by myself, I hereby decree that should a man be accused of being afraid of commitment (especially by a woman), he has every right to defend himself in due and proper manner, in a way that exudes charity and nothing but charity.

Acceptable responses include:

"Listen, honey, your feet look like ice-blocks. May I fill the bathtub with hot water so that you can warm your lovely feet?"

"Brrrrr................it's cold in here. Why are you walking barefoot on the cold floor? Let me turn up the heat."

"You are right, my dear. I am afraid of commitment. Your feet look blue and cold. Would you like me to get some socks for you?"

Praying All Night

I often complain to my friends that theological studies can be a faith-killer because we learn so much "about" God, and are so tempted to leave it at that and not get to know the living God personally. Well, last night was a welcomed exception. It was a Regent first, "Pray for the World," an all night prayer vigil.

It began at 9pm, with an hour of worship in song. Afterwards, we confessed our sins, wrote them down on small sheets of paper, and nailed them on a cross. After all, how dare we intercede on behalf of a sinful world without first confessing our sins? How can we approach God with the needs of the world unless we ourselves acknowledge our need for Him and place ourselves in a state of grace? What assurance, to know that our wickedness has been dealt with once and for all by our Lord in his death and resurrection!

Then we ripped off all the sheets of paper and went outside in the cold wind and rain, and proceeded to burn all our "sins" into oblivion, the way Almighty God does. It was very powerful.

At 10 we began praying for Regent College and Vancouver. We thanked God for the wonderful work he's done here in the past, present, and for what he will accomplish in the future. We also thanked God for our lovely city, its beautiful surroundings, and its people. We brought before God the complacency of the church, and asked for mercy and grace in reaching out to a city that is engulfed in self-worship, self-improvement, self-obsession. We prayed for the poor as well as the wealthy. We claimed God's promise to guide our every step, and declared our allegiance to seek and discern his will for our city.

From 11 until 12:20am we prayed for the world: Canada, USA, Europe, Middle East, Latin America, Africa, and Asia. We thanked God for such a diverse world, made evident in the multi-cultural presence at school. We prayed for peace and justice. We prayed that God would grow his kingdom here on earth.

From 12:20 to 12:40 we had some much needed refreshments: coffee, tea, bread, chips, popcorn, and cake. I juiced up on caffeine.

Then, for the next 2 hours we divided up into numerous groups and prayed specifically for individual nations: Zambia, Germany, Kenya, and Korea were only a few examples. I joined prayer groups for Indonesia, Malaysia, the Philippines, and Albania.

At 2:45 we sang some more, and then shared the Lord's Supper together. What a blessing, to take in the body and blood of our Lord, assuring us of his grace, assuring us of his love, assuring us of his very presence. We also divided into small groups and prayed for one another.

At 3:30 praying ensued, until 5:30, at which time breakfast was served. However, I left early, at 3:30. I was exhausted, encouraged, tired, excited, overwhelmed, and sobered.

This was surely one of the highlights of my time at Regent so far. I acknowledge the importance of asking hard, academic, conceptual, abstract questions. Our mental faculties are to be used for the glory of God. God can handle intellectualism. However, when they become an end in themselves, we miss the point of doing them in the first place.

I yearn to put to use the things I learn about God. May these things lead to a closer, more intimate knowledge of God. I yearn for closer communion with God, as the Psalmist says in one of my favourite Psalms, 130:5-6:

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning."

$10 Richer

Today I found $10 in a vest I hadn't worn in 3 months. I bought myself a coffee with the money.

I love it when that happens.