Paul And Jenny

Had lunch with James, Paul and Jenny today. It was great to say P and J, since I rarely see them. They moved to Texas almost a year ago. Mind you, even before they moved south, I rarely saw them.

Here's a pic of us at my favourite resto in Vancouver: Al-Watan. Khalid, the cook, joined us for the pose.

Glenayre Reunion @ Anton's

Tonight we went for an Italian feast at Anton's. So yummmmmmy.....

From left to right: Cub, Judy, Fred, Peter, Tyson, and Gonnie:
















I'm thankful to be able to keep in touch with the Glenayre gang. I miss them. They're great friends.

Pesebre

I got a nativity set for Christmas. It's quite big, but I like it. It's past the advent season, and indeed, christmas has come and gone, but I'll put it up nonetheless and keep it up until the day of Epiphany on January 6th. Here are a few pics I took of the scene, after I put it up in my apartment.

Daytime:















Nightime:















Next year I'll put it up on the first day of Advent.

Christmas With Family

This Christmas was like last Christmas: good. Even with Ted/Karin and family's escapade to Asuncion, the rest of us here in the wetlands had a festive time with family. I stayed the night at my parents' place. Here's how I spent Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Christmas Eve:
* 6:30pm - went to my parents' church for a children's program. It was a good program, a typical North American "musical performance" that had a lot of props and lights and even video streaming, but not too much of a theological backbone. The kids, however, were super excited and enthused about the program, and that was great to see.
* 8pm - dinner at mom and dad's. Heinz, Melanie and family came also. Great dinner, great conversation. Thank you Lord for the blessing of family.
* 11:30pm - midnight mass at Westminster Abbey in Mission. Beautiful, as last year. The sermon was on John 1:1: And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us...

Christmas Day:
* 9:30am - I went to a church service at St. Matthew's Anglican Church in Abbotsford. It's a small church, but it was a great service. The officiating pastor had such a gentle yet genuine demeanour it was inspiring. I could tell he really loved the Lord and the people he was shepherding. I'm more and more convinced that the perfect church is one that has under 100 parishioners. That's the magic number, because once you have more than 100, it gets big and impersonal.
* 1pm - lunch with the whole family-gang again. Same as last night: good people, good conversation, and good food.
* 6pm - played Rook with dad, Heinz, Terence, and Tanis.

My only complaint is that we still exchange too many presents. No matter how much family members agree that "this year we'll only buy 1 present per person", the resolve is weak and without integrity. The result: everyone gets 5 presents, and those people who only buy 1 present (as agreed to previously) look like stingy idiots.

I arrived back at home in Vancouver around 11pm.

Ambiguity Leads To Alienation

I'm not happy about how things are with Clau. Over the past few months we've become more alienated from each other, even though we see each other more often than ever. Maybe that's the problem, but regardless, I don't get it.

Yesterday at Karla's party she gave me a Christmas present "in passing" .. it seemed more a duty than a real gift. I don't think she meant to hurt me but I think her actions do represent a painful alienation from me.

Months of ambiguity - are we together? are we friends? together in private, friends in public? - are finally catching up to us.

Karla's Birthday, Goodbye

Karla's time in Vancouver is sadly coming to an end. I love her genuine spirit. She'll certainly be missed around here. It was her birthday today, so she made it a 2-for-1 celebration: birthday and goodbye. She goes home to Mexico for Christmas now, then she comes back mid-January for 3 days before returning to Australia.

I wonder how Clau's going to deal with Karla's departure. Those two are so close.....

Trouble

Clau and I are in real trouble, and it breaks my heart.

Sure Enough...

... I got an email today from Carla. She knows that something's up with Clau and I, so she's asked me not to contact her. She needs space for healing.

I totally understand this. I've been in a similar situation before with Sharon. Actually, this happened to me numerous times, now that I think of it.

My guess is that our friendship's ruined.

The Carla Issue

I think Carla found out that Clau and I are considering getting together. This could spell trouble to our friendship.

U-20 World Cup Game

Today a few of us from the soccerinos went to see two U-20 futbol games:

2pm: Jordan vs. Zambia (1-1)
5pm: Uruguay vs. España (2-2)

The games were amazing, especially the second game. Uruguay played with heart, Spain with mind. Interesting that the score ended up a tie.

Here are a few pics from the soccerinos:
















Lunch at Earl's before the game (from left to right): Vero, Cub, Mario, Benja, Karla, Clau, Carla, and Connie.





















Karla and Clau.
















Halftime: Vero, Clau (sleeping), Karla, Carla, and Mario

Confession

Today Clau and I kissed. It just happened, while we're at my place, in the most unexpected of places too. We were standing in the hallway on our way out to Karla's for dinner.

Needless to say, we arrived at Karla's rather late.

Scarcely Saved

I preached today, on I Peter 4:12-19. My points were as follows:

God is in control, even if sometimes it doesn't seem like it, because of all the suffering and evil around us. The writers of the New Testament certainly expressed this truth, as did the martyrs of the early church. Suffering for our faith serves the following three purposes:

1- it tests our faith;
2- it tells the world of our allegiance to Jesus; and
3- it trains us for the final day.

Conclusion (v19): "Therefore let those who suffer according to God's will do right and entrust their souls to our faithful creator."

I'm thankful, because the preaching went well, and I had some close friends there to support me.

Here are some pics from this morning:
















Clau, Carla, Rachelle.
















Cub.
















Bryan, Carla, Cub, and Rachelle.
















Bryan, Rachelle, Cub, Carla, and Clau.

Clau Returned From Bolivia

I was so happy to see her today when I picked her up from the airport. I definitely have feelings for her, because I missed her like CRAZY while she was gone.

I even called her long distance to Bolivia while she was away, and talked to her for quite some time.

I'm glad she's back!

Rules Of Spiritual Discernment

It sounds strange to list "rules" for "discernment." Rules for games or driving yes, but discernment? Apparently...

Just over a week ago I was in a course on spiritual discernment, and I was amazed - pleasantly, I admit - that discernment is not just a "willy-nilly" free-for-all, based on warm and fuzzy subjective feelings. Ignatius of Loyola of the 16th century, in particular, put together the following helpful rules in spiritual discernment:

1- During times of decision making, we all experience periods of consolation and desolation. Consolation = a sense of wellness, peace, joy, shalom. Desolation = disturbance of the soul, such as anger, fear, or discouragement.

2- Never make a decision while in a place of desolation, because in those times our soul is turned away from God and towards the "fragmentation of the world." The Holy Spirit is not the spirit of fear and despair, but rather, of love and power (I. Tim 1:7). Therefore, we wait until we're in a place of consolation or return to the last place of consolation, before making a decision. Only then are our hearts aligned with God.

3- Test all consolation, because not all consolation is of God. The devil is, after all, a wolf in sheep's clothing, and likes to trick us into making bad decisions (I. Peter 5:8). The devil is the source of all false consolation.

How do we test consolation? According to Saint Ignatius, we need to exercise the principle of "holy indifference": freedom from inordinate attachments, indifference to "anything other than the holiness and glory of God." In other words, we need to test the motives behind our consolation. The following "inordinate desires" may bring consolation, but not true consolation of God:

* wealth
* pleasure
* honour
* recognition
* and power

Whenever our motives are driven by these factors, there's a very good chance that we are driven not by a desire of the kingdom of God, but of the world.

In the coming months I'll be pondering these rules of discernment, especially as they relate to my vocational calling. I have a feeling there's something to be learned here.

Decision-Time

Three options I'm considering:

* Missionary work: in Asia
Benefits:
- away from North American life
- simplicity of life
- learning different language, culture
- possibility of teaching theology
Drawbacks:
- away from family

* Social Justice work: in East-Vancouver
Benefits:
- close to family
- long-term investment (personally, financially) in a specific community
Drawbacks:
- do I go back to get a regular job?
- will the church support me?

* Ordination: in the Anglican Church
Benefits:
- love of the church
- learn the art of preaching
- academics
Drawbacks:
- being a shepherd of a flock is hard work (ask the prophets, Jesus: sheep are quite dumb)
- away from family
- the Anglican Church of Canada is pretty much apostate => how to stay faithful within it?

Dark Times

Dark times loom ahead.

Well maybe I'm overstating it by saying "dark times", but definitely "difficult times." I'm confused and desperately lack direction.

Seminary was supposed to clear that up for me, but perhaps that was rather naive thinking on my part.

Spiritual Discernment Class

Today was the first day of class for the Spiritual Discernment course, an intensive course that will go on daily for the next two weeks. It's one of the last courses I'm scheduled to take at Regent, and as such, the timing is right. There is essentially one question that I hope to answer as a result of this course:

What is my vocational call?

In other words, after I graduate with a Master in Divinity, what next?

Lord have mercy on me as I discern which steps are next.

Bjork

Tonight Bjork (excuse the lack of umlauts on the 'o' .. I can't copy them from an open office doc to this Firefox webrowser) played at Deer Lake in Burnaby. It was an awesome concert. I think she's the greatest.

But she didn't play her best song: Human Behaviour. :(

She did play some other kick-a$$ songs though, including Army of Me, Pagan Poetry, Unison, All is full of Love, and Bachlorette.

She also played Pluto which I hate on the cd, but was quite good live.

I was also struck by the humanist message she preaches in her songs. My friend Rob thinks she sees herself as the philosophical uebermensch (again, excuse the lack of umlauts) that Hegel spoke of a couple centuries ago, the idea that humanity is working itself towards some kind of utopia. Hmmmmm .. I think he's onto something.

Too bad she's not.

But, I still love her music.

Systematic B Final Exam

Today was my final exam for Systematic B Theology: "Christology, Soteriology, and Anthropology". I wrote the final exam at Regent mid-afternoon. I had 2 hours to write 4 essays: essentially, 30 minutes per essay.

I chose to write on the following questions:
1- What does it mean to be made in God's image?
2- Are human being free agents or slaves to sin?
3- Discuss the nature of Jesus Christ.
4- What are the ways Jesus' work on the cross have been described?

I think I did ok on the exam.

Incidentally, Connie, a good friend of mine, accepted my exam once I was finished. I handed it in 7 minutes late, and she marked it (down) on the exam. If I get any marks deducted because of going 7 minutes over the time-limit, I'm gonna have to have a word with her. It seems that my method of selecting friends is not very good and may need some revamping.....

Advising Committee

Today was the first time I participated in the advisory committee meeting for "Out of the Cold" (OOC), an initiative by GCBC. I think it's a great initiative (that's been running for 10+ years!) that brings Christians from throughout the city together every Thursday night in order to cook and serve a meal to the homeless of Vancouver. I've volunteered for OOC for over a year now, and have been repeatedly blessed and challenged by my experiences there.

I'm blessed by the resilience and strength of the poor, and challenged to see Jesus in their faces.

I look forward to learn from some of the leaders there. Furthermore, I'd like to take what I learn there and implement some of their ideals in our church. Our church needs to have a higher social conscience, and so I think we have lots to learn from OOC and GCBC.

Clau To Bolivia

This morning I got up early, 5am, to drive Clau to Seattle. She's travelling to Bolivia for a month, to visit her home, her family and friends. We left around 6am, and arrived there around 9:30. Her flight didn't leave until noon, so we had a good 1.5 hours to hang out together. We went to a coffee shop at the airport and had a coffee and muffin there.

I really enjoyed my time with her.

My drive home alone was actually kinda sad. I know I'll miss her over the next 5 weeks.

Fear Not: A Prayer

"Fear not, I am the first and the last, and the living one. I died, and behold I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of Death and Hades" (Revelation 1:17b-18).

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the living God,
You are the first, and the last, and the living one.
You died, and behold, you are alive forevermore.
You have the keys to Death and Hades.

Thank you for the vision of grandeur and majesty that we received this evening;
thank you for your surpassing glory, Lord Jesus;
we give you thanks,
we give you praise,
for you are the Alpha,
you are the Omega,
you are the Almighty.

We confess that we do not always live according to this great and wonderful truth.
We are selfish and seek our own glory.
Forgive us, Father, for the sake of your Son Jesus,
who lived, and died, and rose,
and who sits beside you
on your right hand.

Restore us, Father,
and grant that out of this vision of your Son Jesus,
his power and authority would grow in our hearts and minds,
and that our commitment to being His disciples would strengthen.
Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer!

We pray that Christ would be celebrated all over the world.
We pray especially for our dear brothers and sisters in the Upper Shire, Malawi,
that they would celebrate the glory and majesty of your Son Jesus.
We are grateful for the mighty works you have done among the Malawi people,
and we pray that you would continue strengthening these our brothers and sisters.

May your church there grow in faith and in number,
and may your church continue the good works that you have prepared for them.
We pray for more godly leaders,
who are willing to preach the good news in difficult circumstances.
Give wisdom and insight,
as your people seek to alleviate the effects of poverty and the HIV crisis.

Grant our church here in Vancouver a soft heart,
to serve, edify, and encourage our brothers and sisters there.

Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer!

Heavenly Father, we pray for our church here in Vancouver.
Thank you for David, Dan, Neil, and Jim,
and for the many others who serve you here at St. John's.
Bless each one according to your goodness!

We pray for our bishop here in New Westminster,
that you would embrace him with the love of your Son Jesus.

We pray for the unity of your church,
especially the Anglican Communion worldwide,
teach us to love,
teach us to love the truth.

Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer!

Finally, we lift up the following in the quietness of our hearts:
coworkers or school colleagues;
friends and family members;
we lift up those in our lives who do not know the name of Jesus;
and we pray for the poor, the hungry, the homeless, and the jobless in Vancouver.

Lord, in your mercy, hear our prayer!

And now, as our Saviour Christ has taught us, let us pray together:

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil, for thine is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever and ever, Amen.
_____

Evening Service Prayer at St. John's Shaughnessy Anglican Church. Prayer is based on Revelation 1:9-20.

Resurrection of the Body

Now that the sermon's done, I can focus on doing research for my next paper on the bodily resurrection. I have 2 weeks do research and write my paper. Then I have a week to study for my final exam for Systematic B.

The purpose of writing this paper is to lay out the theology of the physical resurrection, but in particular, to indicate that the physical resurrection points to God's approval of the material world, and in particular, the human body. I believe there will be continuity (as well as discontinuity) to both, the physical world and our physical resurrection bodies.

The new heavens and the new earth do not imply that the "old" earth will be obliterated. It will be made new, yes, but made new does not mean that the old will be "burnt". Transformed, refined, renewed, yes, but not destroyed. Heaven will be "otherworldly", to be sure, but it will still consist of materiality - perfected, imperishable - much like what we see and touch in our world today.

The resurrection of Jesus is the anchor of our hope in not only our own physical resurrection, but also in the perfected physicality of heaven.

I. Corinthians 15 will serve as a good foundation for the paper.

Question/Implication: if we will have a physical body in heaven, and if heaven will consist of matter, does that impact the way we treat our bodies here now? Does it impact the way we treat the earth now? I think there are some serious implications.....

The Hour Had Come

This morning I preached my second sermon at church. My first sermon was over four months ago, and was a rather painful experience. Today went much better.....

Today's text came from John 13:1-20, where Jesus washes the disciples' feet. In this text, Jesus turns his attention away from the busyness of the streets, and towards his most loyal followers, his disciples. These his followers, where now "his own", whom he loved (13:1).

My main two points were that when Jesus washed the disciples' feet, he displayed his sacrificial love, and his saving power. The act of footwashing is simultaneously a display of the deep self-giving love of Jesus, and a prophetic symbol of the cleansing power he possesses. Indeed, this act foreshadows the cross, where Jesus would give himself up for the sake of the world he created. There, on the cross, Jesus would wash the feet of the world with his own blood.

The sermon went much better than the last one, thanks be to God! A few of my friends came to hear me which I'm very grateful for. Thank you Clau, Carla, Paul, Eric, Karla, and Rachelle. Unfortunately, I didn't bring a camera so I couldn't take a picture of the group.

Importantly, my parents also came to hear me. Thank you both for your loving support.

I'm also grateful because thanks to my preaching class last semester and my internship at church, preaching is becoming less intimating and more enjoyable. Thanks and praise be to God.

After the service my friends and I went to Paul's Place on Granville and 4th, for breakfast.

Wilfrid's Visit

Karin's brother Wilfrid's here for a few days. He was travelling in China on business, and dropped by on the way back to Paraguay. We met up with him and Ted, Karin & family in the afternoon at my place, and then headed over to Stanley Park for a drive. We parked the van and went for a quick walk in the park, but it was damp and rainy outside so we didn't stay too long.

For dinner we bought the kids a pizza and rented a few videos, while Ted, Karin, Wilfred and I went out to the Yaletown Brewery Pub for dinner. Here's a pic we took at Stanley Park:

Clau's Grad Day

Today was Clau's graduation day. The ceremony was quite nice, surprisingly. The address by B. Hindmarsh was especially noteworthy: Christians are like trees: firmly rooted in the ground, but with branches stretching into the sky.

Here are some pics from graduation day.

Regent Faculty:
















Up next: Clau!
















Wuhoooooooooooooo! Congrats Clau!
















Carla, Clau, & Cub:
















Allison, Karla, Maria, Clau, & Carla:
















Clau & Ross (Professor of Missions):
















Clau:
















May God bless you, Clau, as you finish your studies and discern what's next!

Soccer! Yay!

Today was suuuuuuuuuch a great day. I played soccer for the first time in, uhm, 2.5 years? It was sooooooo much fun!

I began the day by having Claudia and Karla over for breakfast. I made pancakes.

Then, around noon, we went to a park near Chinatown, and met with others, mainly Latin Americans, and played soccer for a good 2 hours.

They play every saturday. It's co-ed. Casual. I think I'll go again next week. :D

Grad Party

Today we had a grad party at Spanish Banks, in honour of Clau, Maria, and Petro, who are graduating shortly. It was actually as much a good-bye party as a grad party, because Maria, and Petro are not only graduating they are returning to their home country, the US and Ukraine, respectively.

Clau & Maria:

But I admit, there was a selfish reason for me to organize this party, namely, that I'm graduating too, within the next couple of months. And my friend In Young, he's also graduating around the same time as I am.

Rob, In Young, & Sarah:
















Petro, Connie, Clau & Maria:

Anyways, we were hoping for a nice and sunny day, and we got one, but as the pictures show, it was windy and chilly. We played some games (soccer, frisbee ultimate), ate bbq, and had a good time. Afterwards a few of us went to my place to warm up with a hot cup of cocoa.

Carla (aka KaKarla) preparing the bbq:
















Cub:
















Spanish Banks:
















Sundown:

Here We Go Again...

In less than two weeks-time (4.29) I preach again. Last time I preached was a rather painful experience, and I'm going to do everything I can to prevent that from happening again.

My passage this time is a good one: John 13:1-20, Jesus washing the disciples' feet. I'm going to "live" in that text for the next two weeks....

May God be glorified as I seek to communicate His word to His people.

Lunch with Joy

Today I went out for lunch with Joy, at the Samosa Garden on Kingsway. Yummy Kenyan-Indian food. Gotta go there more often...

Joy's living in Surrey for the next 6 months or so, raising funds for her return to the Philippines.

We talked about the possibility of me going back there also, on a 3-4 year term. More on that mid-summer....

Happy Birthday Clau!

Today I went to the Harbour Centre for dinner with Claudia, to celebrate her birthday with her. A lovely evening with a lovely woman. Here are a few pictures:

Easter Sunday

Christ ist erstanden
von der Marter alle;
des solln wir alle froh sein,
Christ will unser Trost sein.
Kyrieleis.

Wär er nicht erstanden,
so wär die Welt vergangen;
seit daß er erstanden ist,
so lob‘n wir den Herren Jesum Christ.
Kyrieleis.

HALLLUJA, HALLELUJA, HALLELUJA.
Des solln wir alle froh sein,
Christ will unser Trost sein.
Kyrieleis.

___

Christ has risen
From all his torments;
For this we shall rejoice,
Christ shall be our comfort.
Kyrieleis.

If he had not risen,
The world would have been lost;
Since he has risen,
We will praise the Lord Jesus Christ.
Kyrieleis.

ALLELUIA, ALLELUIA, ALLELUIA.
For this we shall rejoice,
Christ shall be our comfort.
Kyrieleis.

Johann Sebastian Bach, 1685-1750
Choralvorspiel BWV 627
Chorale prelude BWV 627

Holy Saturday

Rest Sweetly .. Sweetly Rest

We bow our heads in tears and sorrow.
Hearts cry to Thee, O Saviour blest.
Rest Thou sweetly, sweetly rest.
Death that holds Thee in its keeping,
When its bonds are loosed by Thee,
Shall become a welcome portal,
Leading man to life immortal
Where he shall Thy glory,
he shall Thy glory see.
Saviour blest, slumber on Thy Father’s breast.

We bow our heads in tears and sorrow.
Hearts cry to Thee, O Saviour blest.
Rest Thou sweetly, sweetly rest.

---

Wir setzen uns mit Tränen nieder

Und rufen dir im Grabe zu:

Ruhe sanfte, sanfte ruh!

Ruht, ihr ausgesognen Glieder!

Euer Grab und Leichenstein

Soll dem ängstlichen Gewissen

Ein bequemes Ruhekissen

Und der Seelen Ruhstatt sein.

Höchst vergnügt schlummern da die Augen ein.

Wir setzen uns mit Tränen nieder

Und rufen dir im Grabe zu:

Ruhe sanfte, sanfte ruh!

Johnann Sebastian Bach, 1685 - 1750
St. Matthews Passion, 1727

Good Friday

Nolo mortem peccatoris:
Haec sunt verba Salvatoris.

Father, I am thine only son,
Sent down from heaven mankind to save!
Father, all things fulfilled and done
According to thy will I have;
Father, now all my will is this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Father, behold my pains most smart,
Taken for man on every side,
E'en from my birth to death most tart;
No kind of pain I have denied,
But suffered all for love of this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Behold my birth, in what degree
Into this wretched world I came,
Taking man's vile nature on me,
With all the mis'ries of the same
Save only sin; and all for this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Behold my tender infancy:
Scant eight days old, but that I was
Cut in my flesh most painfully;
To shed my blood for man's trespass
I not disdained, for love of this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Here dwelt I thirty years and three,
In hunger, thirst, in cold and heat,
In great contempt of the world at me,
For my good deeds and travels great,
Taken for man, and all for this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

When thirty years and three were run,
Time drawing near of my most woe;
Oh! Father, now behold thy son,
My pains increasing mo and mo!
For which, O Father, harken to this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Behold my sighs, my sorrowful heart,
Behold my tears, my bloody sweat!
Behold my pains in every part
Had on the mount of Olivet,
Before my death, declaring this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Behold the Jews most fierce and wood
Thy son they sought with glaives and bills!
Behold thy son most meek of mood,
Given to their hands to do their wills,
To whom I bowed my will for this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Then to a post fast was I tied,
Scourgèd and beaten on every side,
Till no skin left, but as one flayed,
There stood thy son in blood all dyed,
Most meekly suffering all for this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Behold, also, then how they brought
Thy innocent lamb before their judges,
As one that had all mischief wrought,
Condemned to death upon their grudges
Grown 'gainst me for preaching this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Behold my head then, how they crowned
With thorns, yea, piercing near the brain!
My face, my neck, in blood all drowned,
My flesh all trembling in every vein,
For passing mayne, and all for this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

To bear my cross then forth they drave me,
Till the great weight threw me there under,
But then hard strokes enow they gave me,
Beating me forth with shame and wonder!
All which I meekly suffered for this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

My garments then to me fast cleaving,
Most violently from me they drew
The flesh, e'en from the bone then riving;
My bloody wounds they did renew
With no small pain! Oh Father! Yet this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

But then behold those cruel folk,
One at each arm, one at each foot,
Through flesh and bone great nails they stroke,
The streams of blood were set afloat,
To wash their sin that wrought all this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Then up aloft my corse they cast,
The fall whereof down in the rest
My joints and sinews all to-brast!
Which, pain of pains, was not the least
That I there meekly suffered for this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Upon that cross behold I there
Hung three long hours e'er life were gone,
Having not stay my body to bear,
But those hard nails through flesh and bone;
Yet I e'en there declarèd this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

When all my blood was throughly spent,
My flesh dried up for lack of licker,
Then with a spear my heart they rent,
To try my death for man most sicker;
The which I meekly suffered for this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Who may express those pains to me dealt?
Who may bethink them to disclose,
In mine humanity sensibly felt;
Yet is there one pain more than those?
Oh Father! why should I say this?
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

This my most pain, this my most care,
Is for to see man's unkindness;
For all my death he will not spare
Me to offend, my laws transgress,
And all in hope and trust of this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

The world, the flesh, yea, and the devil,
Man will not spare to serve all three,
Taking occasion of all this evil
Of mine own words; saying to me,
Whate'er we do, yet Christ saith this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

But unto man I say again,
Death of a sinner will not I,
If he amend and sin refrain;
But when in sin still he will lie,
Then unto him I speak not this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Oh man, for thy love have I died!
I ask no more of thee therefore,
But love for love in thy deeds tried;
Forsake thy sin and keep my lore,
And then to thee I say e'en this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

Now here an end of this our song;
Now to that Lord that died for man
Give thanks, and pray for grace among,
To keep his laws, that we may then
Enjoy his merciful words in this:
Nolo mortem peccatoris.

John Redford, (d. 1547)
The Latin phrase Nolo mortem peccatoris is taken from the Rule of Saint Benedict, in his quotation of Ezekiel 33:11. It means "I do not want the death of a sinner."

Maundy Thursday

O Lord, who hast mercy upon all,
take away from me my sins,
and mercifully kindle in me
the fire of thy Holy Spirit.
Take away from me the heart of stone,
and give me a heart of flesh,
a heart to love and adore Thee,
a heart to delight in Thee,
to follow and enjoy Thee, for Christ's sake,
Amen
_____

Penitential Prayer, St. Ambrose of Milan (AD 339-397)

Getting There....

The past few days have been quite productive. I finished some key assignments:

History of Doctrine
* finished review on the last 4 chapter on Olson's textbook; great book .. I can't believe I got through it .. all 613 pages!
* finished review on Justo Gonzalez' book, A Theology of Liberation

Pastoral Care
* finished observation report

Now all I have left is a personal philosophy paper on Pastoral Care. Once that's done, I can start focusing on:

* Systematic Theology paper and final exam (due mid-May)
* PTC teaching lecture (mid-April)
* prepare sermon (end of April)

Movie And Dinner

Wow .. I had a great day today.

In the morning I had my regular church internship meeting at school. Then, late afternoon, I went to the bus station to pick up Ralph. He's here for the next day. We went home and drank mate until about 6:30, at which time we got into my car and drove to the movie theatre.

At the theatre, we met up with my dear friends Clau and Carla, and Connie and Alberto. We saw Amazing Grace, a great movie about the abolition of slave trade in England. It was very interesting to see how William Wilberforce was portrayed in the film. I know a little of him from my History of Christianity course at school, and from what I can tell, his portrayal in the film was quite accurate. So often nowadays, movies that have an inkling of spiritual content are deconstructed to a point beyond recognition (wouldn't want to challenge relativism now, would we), but overall I felt they did his faith justice.

Anyways, after the movie Clau pulled out a $50 gift certificate for the Spaghetti Factory. Nice..!! So we went there and wined and dined. Clau's Mexican friend, Karla, also joined us there. Man she's a blast. Great fun..... Ralph had a good time too.

I'm blessed.

Sick .. But Getting Better

Unfortunately I was unable to go to visit mom and dad yesterday. I think I got some kind of food poisoning, because I've been in bed most of today with a wicked (that is .. EVIL and PAINFUL) stomach ache throughout the day.

It would've been so good to go to Abbotsford to visit with family. Not only was it dad's birthday yesterday, it was also my parents' ??? wedding anniversary. Shame on me .. I don't even know how many years they've been married.....

I hope to visit them two weeks from now, on Easter Sunday.

Happy Birthday Dad!

Today is dad's 66th birthday, I trust you'll have a happy day, dad! Thank you for the many ways in which you minister to us.

God bless you abundantly!

Family Business Meeting: Take 2

Today we had our second business meeting, and as expected, the outcome wasn't all that good. Given my concerns about the purpose, continuity concerns, etc...., it just didn't make sense to go ahead with it.

Having said that, it's not all negative. Ted will put together a proposal with more concrete numbers (expected revenues, costs), and we'll re-evaluate again after looking at it.

Ted didn't seem pleased about the outcome. But I think it's better to ask hard questions now.

A New Preacher

We've got a new pastor in our Evening Service. He's actually a classmate of mine from school. He preached tonight (yes, I went). I'm glad I went. I didn't really want to go, but I forced myself to go. And I'm glad I did, because God blessed the effort. I'm (mildly) encouraged.

A Passion And A Paradox

Tonight I went to a fundraising dinner at a church (not my own) that I volunteer at once a month. The fundraiser was for a feed-the-homeless service this church operates every Thursday night.

I enjoyed the evening (Paul came also). Had a good meal, a few good speeches/testimonies, a silent auction, and an offering. The best part of the evening was a conversation that I had with Andrew, the man in charge of the program.

I'm realizing that I have a passion for the poor. There's a paradox in this passion though. The more I come in contact with issues of poverty (said differently, the more I encounter the helplessness of the poor), the more I'm convinced that there's very little I can do about it, yet at the same time the more convinced I become that I should do something about it.

I think it was Mother Teresa who said something along the lines of "Prayer drives us to the world, and the world drives us back to prayer." Simple yet profound. I like it.

Family Business Meeting: Take 1

So a few days ago my brother Ted sent me an email suggesting that we - that is, he, our brother in law, and me - open a family business. His idea is to open a house-building company: buy property, build a house, and sell it, buy another property, build a house, sell it, etc...

Tonight was our first "business meeting."

I went there in good spirits, thinking that in principle, he had a good idea. But our meeting didn't go so well, at least according to my thoughts. Now I feel quite sour about it.

The core issues are the following questions:
* why open a business? Ted has a job; Heinz has a job (he just got one earlier this week); and I, well, what the heck do I know about building and selling homes! Then again, I've been thinking about setting up some kind of an "urban Chrsitian community" in the city. Maybe our company could build and donate the house. Ha!

* continuity? Ted and family are only planning to stay in Canada for another 1.5 years at which time they will return to South America. In light of Ted's absence, who would run the business?

* given the above two issues, is it ethical to use dad's "goodwill" (money) as a guarantee? Aren't we taking a rather big risk with his money? Is this pride setting in?

* and finally (we didn't even tackle this issue at the meeting .. but it will be an issue before too long .. I know it!), what about familial conflicts regarding money? Based on past experiences, I know the greed that sets in with regards to money. It's not a pretty sight...

Skipped Church .. Again

I've skipped 2 of the last 3 Sunday evening services .. and 4 of the last 8 I think. I lack motivation. I lack energy. I lack joy. I don't want to render God the praise he is due for some reason.

Darkness looms ..

Studying With Claudia

I'm so blessed to have a friend like Claudia. She came over in the morning, around 9, and I made breakfast for her. Afterwards, we studied the day away, until about 6pm. Then she went away to a party I think, or perhaps Latin-dancing .. she does that a lot.

I spent the rest of the evening studying contently, but a part of me was very sad she left. Strange: on the one hand, I am quite content - in fact, I insist on - spending a lot of time alone; but on the other hand, there's an incredible yearning for an "Other".

I can't decide whether this "Other" is an intense search for deeper communion with God, or a desire to be in a relationship with a woman.

The good thing, or perhaps, the challenging, confusing thing, is that both of those desires are perfectly legitimate and godly.

I Don't Care

I skipped Pastoral Care today, because I'm tired of listening to my prof swearing in class. He's very good in his field (counselling), but it seems to me he's a little depressed.

Of course, it's "contextualized" swearing, meaning that the swearword is "in line" with the context he's describing, but I just don't buy that. That's such a poor excuse! As someone in a position of power and influence, a professor ought to have enough spiritual self-discipline/control to have "reign" over his tongue.

An Evening With Family And Friends

I'm writing this under today's date, even though what I'm about to describe took place last night.

Yesterday evening, around 4:30pm, 4 of my bestest friends, James, Petro, Carla, and Claudia went to Abbotsford for dinner with my family. It was a superb evening .. one of the best evenings I've had this year.

We arrived at my parent's place shortly before 6, and drank some mate before dinner. My bro, sis, and their families (including my 5 nephews and 3 nieces) came too, and it was delightful introducing them to my friends. It was equally delightful introducing friends to family.

After a few minutes of introductions and snacks, we gathered 'round the livingroom dinner table and ate a fantastic meal: baked potatoes, broccoli salad, chipa, rice, and feijoada (Carla loved this!) were only a few of the many goodies mom had prepared. Of course, dad did his part too, preparing a massively delicious bbq: steak and chicken (no vegetarians around our dinner table that's for sure!!!). My bro brought a bottle of red wine, and I brought a bottle of Portuguese rose also, which went very well with everything.

And dessert .. my gosh .. that's a whole 'nother story again. Karin made a cheesecake, and mom made a chocolate cake (sort of like a black forest cake). Of course, it didn't help that I'm lenting from coffee and chocolate .. but oh well, the cheesecake was up for grabs ... and grab I did. :D

After dinner we all sat around the table and enjoyed good conversation. In retrospect, it was more like a question-answer period: family-members asking the questions, friends answering them. Unfortunately, my friends didn't get to return the favour, and consequently the "conversation" was a bit one-sided. Oh well, next time...

Another highlight for me was when my nephew Ralph played a beautiful piece by Chopin on the piano. He is very good. It seems to me he loves to serve others with his musical gifts. Tanis, on the other hand, disappeared for much of the evening. Not sure where she went to ...

Around 10:30pm we made our way back home to Vancouver. I had so much fun. I didn't take any pictures - forgot my camera - my bad. Still, a great evening. God has blessed me with amazing family and friends!

Preparing Bible Studies

Morning/Afternoon: I went to a conference at my church on how to prepare small group Bible Studies. It was very helpful, as we went through the gospel of John (by far my favourite gospel!) and looked at 7 steps of study preparation (essentially, 7 steps of exegesis). Here are the steps:

1- write / type out the text.
2- What kind of literature is it?
3- Underline unclear, repeated, or very important words.
4- Determine context
5- Establish structure / shape of passage
6- Main idea
7- Prepare teaching outline.

Extension Granted!

Pheeeeew! I'm so relieved. This afternoon I sent off an email to my professor, asking for an extension in my Systematic B course .. and tonight I got a response in the affirmative.

So, rather than having to write a 4,000 word paper and final exam in the next 14 days, I have an additional 2 months! This is just awesome!

Now I can devote the next 5 weeks to researching my paper: "The implications of Christ's bodily resurrection on our own bodily resurrection."

Then, I have an additinoal 3 weeks to study for my final exam.

Arghhh

I had a piece of humble pie today. It didn't taste very good. I got my mark on a paper that defended moralism in the early church, and I only got a B+. Ughhhhh.....

I thought this was a good paper, and B+ is not a "bad" mark, but I was really hoping for .. well .. an A. My professor agreed with the conclusions I came to in the paper, but his feedback indicated that I didn't answer all the questions pertaining to the issue. Apparently my argument wasn't watertight (although he didn't use those words).

Well, anyways, ya can't win them all .. still, humble pie doesn't taste very good.

New Library

The new library at school opened a few weeks ago, and I have to say that studying in it is a whole lot more enjoyable than that old dungeon they called "libary" beforehand.

I heard someone refer to humans as "Luxus Tiere" (animals of luxure) once, and I think that's true. We're drawn to anything that's new, sleek, cool, and slick, and .. well .. luxurious. Now, the new library is by no means luxurious, but it's definitely new and cool.

All this to say that in the coming weeks I'll be spending more time studying at school than at home. The library has wireless too, which is nice. Wouldn't want to work without a connection to the cyberworld now, would we....

Rend Your Heart

An appropriate Scripture passage as we begin the Lenten season today, Ash Wednesday:

Joel 2:12-18 (ESV)

12 "Even now," declares the LORD,
"return to me with all your heart,
with fasting and weeping and mourning."
13 Rend your heart
and not your garments.
Return to the LORD your God,
for he is gracious and compassionate,
slow to anger and abounding in love,
and he relents from sending calamity.

14 Who knows? He may turn and have pity
and leave behind a blessing—
grain offerings and drink offerings
for the LORD your God.

15 Blow the trumpet in Zion,
declare a holy fast,
call a sacred assembly.

16 Gather the people,
consecrate the assembly;
bring together the elders,
gather the children,
those nursing at the breast.
Let the bridegroom leave his room
and the bride her chamber.

17 Let the priests, who minister before the LORD,
weep between the temple porch and the altar.
Let them say, "Spare your people, O LORD.
Do not make your inheritance an object of scorn,
a byword among the nations.
Why should they say among the peoples,
'Where is their God?' "

The LORD's Answer

18 Then the LORD will be jealous for his land
and take pity on his people.

Sunday School

I've been teaching Sunday School now for the past month. It's been challenging, but good. I admit, I don't consider myself to be very good around kids .. except my nephews and nieces, but somehow that's different. They're family....

I get a little self-conscious and nervous around kids, because they're always so honest: they say what they think. It's a good thing to be honest, of course, but there's an element of fear that someone else's honesty can bring out in me: fear of being exposed and made vulnerable.

What if they don't like the shoes I wear? What if my socks don't match (that's never happened before). What if a piece of lettuce is stuck on my teeth and I'm completely oblivious to it? What if they see I'm nervous? What if my fly's open? What if I accidentally fart? What if they don't like the way I told the story of Joseph? The possibilities of being rejected by the kids are endless....

Of course, if I didn't take myself so serious I'd be ok with someone or other poking fun at me every now and then. Like they say .. you gotta be able to laugh at yourself. That's a skill I haven't attained yet .. but one I'm in desperate need of.

Who knows, maybe this experience of teaching kids (grades 3 and 4) will help me get over myself. That at least, is my prayer.

Break-In

Got home from school today at around 6pm, and as soon as I put my key in the front door, I knew something was wrong. It didn't fit right. It didn't feel right. I turned the key, and was shocked to find out that the door was unlocked. I opened the door, and lo and behold, someone'd been in my place.

Clothes were lying all over the floor, drawers taken out of the desk and emptied, its contents spread throughout the apartment. My balcony sliding-door was open also.

I immediately noticed that they didn't take the "big" stuff: stereo, dvd player, and printer were all intact, untouched. Even smaller electronics were still there: webcam, phone, even my external hard drive (thank goodness - all my schoolwork's on it!!).

So what did they want? What did they take? My ipod, two backpacks, and cash, about $300.

Interestingly, no, amazingly(!), my old laptop which I'd left at home (after all, I'm a a Mac user now and I'd taken my new laptop to school with me) was left untouched. I'd promised to give it to my friend Carla, who badly needs a laptop, last week, and it would've been so frustrating for it to be stolen now. I called the police, and after the policewoman arrived she was stunned when I told her that the laptop was not stolen. She said it's a miracle. I agreed. Thank you Lord!

Anyways, now it's cleanup time. It'll probably take me all weekend to clean up. I feel violated.

Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on the thief, a sinner.
Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on a sinful world.

I Converted

Bye-bye PC. Hello Mac.

Coffee on 8th Ave

I dropped by a coffee shop that's supposedly quite good, 3 blocks from my place. My friend Dan told me that they are friendly there, and they make good coffee, so I wanted to go and check it out. He was right!

The hostess, Eden (beautiful name, no?), made me a coffee .. on the house. She knew immediately that it was my first visit (impressive), she was very friendly and started talking to me.

The coffee was excellent too. It was some kind of a special (espresso) shot.

Maybe I'll go back next week with a few books and spend an afternoon there studying/reading. Only drawback is they don't have any wireless internet access, so it's no use taking my laptop there.

Macbook vs. Notebook

It seems that MAC has taken the lead over IBM in my "laptop debate." They have the same functionality, are cheaper! (who'd have thought!), and they look mighty cool. Here are the details I've found so far.

I think next week I'm going to take the plunge.

I'm going to convert.

Snow Tubing

Tonight I went snow tubing at Cypress with some friends from my small group. It was really cool, loads of fun. Larissa, Irene, Eric, Stewart and Miranda came. Afterwards we all went to Earl's in North Van for a (late) dinner.

Here are some pics from tubing. From left to right: Eric, Larissa, Irene, & Cub:

New Laptop .. Soon

I'm going to buy a new laptop.

My old clunker is so slow I can go and take a quick shower while logging into MSN and return right on time. Starting up is a whole different story too. It takes about 15 minutes to boot up, so lately I've been turning it on while still on the bus to class, so that by the time I get there it's ready to go. Otherwise I miss the first 15 minutes of lecture.

And battery life, don't even get me started...

I've decided I'm going to either get a newer version of the IBM-model I have now, or convert to Apple-land. Conversion to Apple implies a good dose of humility though, as many of my Apple-friends will tease me with all kinds of dumb slogans like "welcome to the good side" or "you've seen the light", or even "you finally repented and confessed your sins, have ya..."

Those slogans alone make me want to stay away from Apple.

Another Sermon!

I received my next preaching assignment: April 29. Yikes! I'm not sure yet which passage, but I hope I can pick it. I think I'd pick a Psalm.

Sublime

Bless the Lord, o my soul,

and all that is within me,

bless His holy name.

Bless the Lord, o my soul,

and forget not all His benefits.

Who forgiveth all thy iniquity.

who redeemeth thy life from corruption,

and crowneth thee with mercy and compassion.

Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things;

so that thy youth is renewed

like the eagle's.

The Lord executeth righteousness and judgment

for all that are oppressed.

Bless the Lord, o my soul,

and all that is within me,

Bless His holy name.

Glory be to the Father,

and to the Son,

and to the Holy Spirit,

now and ever and unto ages of ages.

Amen.

Bless the Lord, o my soul.

_____

First Antiphon, Divine Liturgy of Saint John Chrysostom (1910), Sergei Rachmaninoff (1873-1943)

Mom's 65!

I like birthdays .. so long as they're not mine. :D Today was mom's birthday .. so it was a good day. It was extra-special too, because it was her 65th birthday. After spending most of the morning and afternoon with Eric, studying at a coffee shop, I drove out to Abbotsford, arriving there just in time for mate before dinner.

Besides the usual family members (except Melanie and Heinz who are on vacation in Mexico), my parents had also invited the Janzens, a missionary couple from Uruguay, now living here in Vancouver.

It was a lovely evening with fabulous food, friends, and family. A few people gave tributes to mom, it was a special time. I love her so much.

My nephews Ralph and Neal played a few pieces on the piano, and I was blessed by their talents. Ralph especially, has an amazing musical gift. He played a beautiful Nocturne by Chopin.

Incidentally, for a second or two I even regreted giving up piano (for soccer) over 20 years ago, but then I remembered all the joy soccer has brought me and those feelings quickly went away. Still, musical instruments are a beautiful thing. Music is a beautiful thing.

Also, speaking of music, Mr. Janzen - himself a funny and very gifted man - recommended Sergei Rachmaninoff's Liturgy of Saint John Chrysostsom to me. He said it's his favourite musical piece. He talked about how much of Rachmaninoff's music is only now being discovered because during the communist era it wasn't available.

Tales And Post-Modern Pipe Dreams

"Nuclear man is a man who has lost naïve faith in the possibilities of technology and is painfully aware that the same powers that enable man to create new life styles carry the potential for self-destruction." Henri Nouwen, The Wounded Healer, (New York, NY: Doubleday, 1972), 5.

To capture this situation of nuclear man, Nouwen tells the following Indian tale:

"Four royal sons were questioning what specialty they should master. They said to one another, 'Let us search the earth and learn a special sceince.' So they decided, and after they had agreed on a place where they would meet again, the four brothers started off, each in a different direction.

Time went by, and the brothers met again at the appointed meeting place, and they asked one another what they had learned. 'I have mastered a science,' said the first, 'which makes it possible for me, if I have nothing but a piece of bone of some creature, to create straightaway the flesh that goes with it.' 'I', said the second 'know how to grow that creature's skin and hair if there is flesh on its bones.' The third said, 'I am able to create its limbs if I have the flesh, the skin, and the hair.' 'And I', concluded the fourth, 'know how to give life to that creature if its form is complete with limbs.'

Thereupon the four brothers went into the jungle to find a piece of bone so that they could demonstrate their specialties. As fate would have it, the bone they found was a lion's, but they did not know that and picked up the bone. One added flesh to the bone, the second grew hide and hair, the third completed it with matching limbs, and the fourth gave the lion life. Shaking its heavy mane, the ferocious beast arose with its menacing mouth, sharp teeth, and merciless claws and jumped on his creatures. He killed them all and vanished contentedly into the jungle." Tales of Ancient India, translated from the Sanskrit by J. A. B. van Buitenen (New York: Bantam, 1961), 50-51, quoted in The Wounded Healer, Henri Nouwen, 5-6.

What a great story to convey our self-destructive ways. How much do we trust progress to achieve? Are we really as naïve as this story depicts? Better yet, are we really as proud as the story depicts?

Nuclear man (post-modern man, in my words), says Nouwen, is characterized by historical dislocation (a break in the sense of connection), a fragmented ideology (divergent and often contrasting ideas, traditions, religoius convictions, and life styles), and a search for immortality (a new way to transcend the limitations of being human).

Once the post-modern person awakes from her/his pipe dream, however, s/he's in shock, panics and reacts in one of the following two ways: mysticism (retreat to the inner life), or revolution (activism), both of which, on their own, are completely unbalanced and unable to solve the human predicament.

Jesus, however, is different: "For a Christian, Jesus is the man in whom it has indeed become manifest that revolution and conversion cannot be separated in man's search for experiential transcendence. His appearance in our midst has made it undeniably clear that changing the human heart and changing human society are not separate tasks, but are as interconnected as the two beams of the cross."

Indeed, "Jesus was a revolutionary, who did not become an extremist, since he did not offer an ideology, but Himself. He was also a mystic, who did not use his intimate relationship with God to avoid the social evils of his time, but shocked his milieu to the point of being executed as a rebel." (The Wounded Healer, Henri Nouwen, 20)

A Day With Ralph

My nephew Ralph came over today from Abbotsford. He arrived at 10:30am by bus. I picked him up at the bus station downtown, and then we went to my place.

We immediately got down to business: homework. He worked on a project for his Bible class, and I read my textbook for History of Doctrine. Very cool.

At around 3:30pm I made us some sandwiches: garlic cheese bread, cheese (thanks mom), salami, red peppers, and tomatoes. I also made a sort of paste by combining olive oil, balsamic vinegar, onions, and oregano and basil leaves, and spread it as a base on the sandwiches. Then we put them in the oven for about 15 minutes. Yummy. Yummy is right... !!!

4pm .. made some coffee .. then back to studying.

At 6:30 we met up with my friends Eric and Paul at the 5th Avenue Cinemas, to watch a movie about the battle over this tiny island, Iwo Jima, between the Americans and the Japanese in WWII.

Afterwards, around 10pm, we went to Moxie's, a restaurant on West Broadway. All went well until Ralph tried to convince us that Hitler was a good man. I know he was joking, but what the...?!?!? He's a bright kid, but unfortunately he spends too much time playing mindgames and powergames with people. Seems to me he tries to see how far he can push the button before it detonates. Well, detonate it did, sort of, because my good friend Paul - a historian - put him in his place. I think he will think twice before he tries to play mindgames with us again.

Around 11:30pm we made our way back home. A good day on all accounts.