Hamaca Paraguaya

Ted and Karin came over tonight, for an enjoyable evening of food and film.

We met shortly after 6pm in Burnaby, before going for dinner at Anton's, my favourite Italian Restaurant in Vancouver. I remember the days when I used to work at Glenayre, in the last 1990's .. we used to go to Anton's all the time for lunch, because the food is just that good!

Well, things haven't changed there. They still serve the best pasta in Vancouver. After dinner (which included a very very yummy tiramisu cake for dessert), we headed downtown for Hamaca Paraguaya, a Paraguayan movie shown here at the Film Festival.

The movie was good, but very slow, and very minimalist. In fact, the entire movie had less than 10 scenes, I'm sure. But, it did a great job portraying Paraguayan life: simple, but full of dignity. I'm glad I went to see it. The only disappointment was that it was in guarani. I shouldn't be surprised, really, because after all guarani is the native language of the people, but I was hoping to hear some spanish. I love the sound of spanish. It's like music to my ears....

But next week I'll have the opportunity to hear some nice Spanish when I see a movie from Argentina.

It was a good evening: good food, goof film, and good family. :)

Film Festival

My favourite event of the year in Vancouver (together with the Celebration of Light fireworks) is the Vancouver International Film Festival. This year it takes place from September 28-October 13. This is the one time per year where movies actually worth watching hit the scene.

I'm just so fed up with pretentious Hollywood. So, here are the movies I plan to see over the next 15 days:

* Paraguayan Hammock (Hamaca Paraguaya), Paraguay: a married couple go about their daily lives, pondering the fate of their son who's gone off to war --> September 28

* The Great Bazaar (O Grande Bazar), Mozambique: two poverty-stricken boys struggle to survive --> September 29

* Into Great Silence (Die Grosse Stille), Germany: examines the humble existence of those who choose to live a monastic life in the Carthusian Order --> October 1

* Blessed by Fire (Iluminados Por El Fuego), Argentina: a movie about the Falkland Islands war in the early 80's --> October 6

* What is it Worth (Quanto Vale Ou E Por Quilo?), Brazil: a film showing how money raised by charities often times ends up lining the pockets of organizers--> October 13

What To Make Of It All..

I've been seeing Alicia more than usual lately. I saw her at least twice last week. Then I spent Friday afternoon and evening with her.

And today I saw her for a few hours in the afternoon. We met at Granville Island, and parked ourselves along the water with dozens of other people who were thrilled to enjoy another sunny September-Sunday. We both brought books to read: I'm almost finished with Saint Augustine's Confessions, and she was getting some knitting ideas from a knitting book.

I don't know what to make of this.

Trampolining In Abbotsford

It's been great visiting with sibblings over the past few months. It's great to have them back in Canada.

This aftetrnoon I visited Ted and Karin at their home in Abbotsford. I spent a good deal of time with their kids too, jumping on the trampoline. Man, that was great fun.

Around 6ish we also ate a great bbq dinner.

By 8:30 I was back at home, studying.

Cough Cough, Sniff Sniff

I'm sick .. again! I woke up today with a headache the size of .. I don't know, it was big. My nose runs all the way to the floor, and my throat, my God, it feels like I'm swallowing a cactus everytime I swallow...

No More Bells And Whistles, Please!

I'm excited, because Friday lunches are back. Friday lunches are the best lunches at school: Holy Communion with the Anglican Studies group, and then lunch at a chinese restaurant nearby. Odd combination, I know, but does it get any better?

Unlike our weekly chapels on Tuesdays, where one never knows just what to expect (what's it gonna be today, traditional hymns, or contemporized(?) hymns, or contemporary music? .. how many more variations of musical arrangements must we endure [and to boot, they seem to get worse and worse!]? .. and when will we end the mixing and matching of lyrics with melodies? .. and, what kind of a service will we have today: a Pente-Presby-Baptist-Reform, or will it be Free-Anglo-Alliance-Menno? .. puhleeeeeeeease! .. and finally, can we just settle on a set liturgy and stick with it, rather than reinventing the wheel every week .. we have, after all, almost 2000, yes, 2000 years of church history and wisdom to guide us .. please, stop the madness or else, put me out of my misery), Friday services are simple, profound and straight to the point. No frills, no song-and-dance, just the bread, the cup, the liturgy of Holy Communion, and a 10 minute homily. Need we have anything else?

I can't believe I just said that. Nah .. sometimes the truth hurts. Ha! I think I'm becoming a liturgical snob, a "rigourist".

Boulevard Café

I went out with Alicia earlier this afternoon, and had a great time. She had a coupon for the Boulevard Café just around the corner from school, so we went there and drank this carbonated water & fruit juice (mango & coconut) drink. I think it's an Italian drink or something. Whatever it is or wherever it came from, I didn't like it.

But I did enjoy my time with her.

The Inner Voice

I've been thinking a lot lately about what I will do after I graduate next April, God willing. I really don't feel a very particular, specific calling, like being a Pastor, for example. Yet at the same time, I know that God has been preparing me, moulding me over the past 4 years, so that he can use me somewhere for the good of his kingdom.

Earlier this week I read a quote by an alumni of our school. This is what she said in her article: "At Regent I discovered that God wasn't at 'the edge,' hoping I would join Him; He was within me, waiting for me to listen to His love. He wasn't calling me to a geographical destination, but to the centre of my being, to mundane obedience."

I found this article, and this quote in particular, very encouraging, because it invites me to be faithful to God "in the present moment," before all else. Maybe God has called me to a specific geographical location - I don't know - but I need not go anywhere but to the very core of my being, in order to listen to the voice of Jesus there. Furthermore, it's in the small, mundane, daily tasks, that first-and-foremost I need to be obedient.

No Wonder!

I discovered this morning while taking a shower that the shampoo I'm using has an expiry date of 10.19.2003.

No wonder I'm going bald....

Violent Irruption Of Love

This morning I went to church with Alicia, to attend a conference on the book of Genesis. It was very good, I'm glad I went. I love the Hebrew Scriptures. So much of God's character becomes evident in its pages. In fact, without the Old Testament, neither the New Testament nor Jesus make any sense at all. Here are a few things I took away from today's session:

* The Bible contains the story of the "irruption", the in-breaking, of the kingdom of God on earth; this story begins with Genesis

* This in-breaking is essentially a violent irruption of love

* God's kingdom is different than the kingdoms of this world, in that it's ruled by love; this is 1- for God's glory; and 2- for our salvation

* God's kingdom is mediational in nature: Israel mediates God to the world; Jesus Christ mediates God & man; the Church mediates Jesus Christ to an unbeleiving world

* There are 4 components of a nation (ie - Israel): Land, Law, Leader, & People

* People: Israel, but by faith, we are also identified with the faith of Abraham (Galatians 3:26-27)

*Land: Whereas Genesis depicts a physical land of God's kingdom nation, today we are a "spiritual land"; Jesus is our land/space; whereas Israel entered land by faith, we enter Jesus by faith

* Leader: King David was the leader of the OT nation, Jesus is the leader of the NT nation

* Law: OT law was written on rock; NT law written on our hearts; the moral law has not been abolished, but rather, it's administration has, and the Torah has been written in our minds through the Holy Spirit

Finally, I found this helpful: ther's no "utopia" or "perfect society" today, nor is it possible. Adam and Eve lived in it, but they rejected it when they sinned.

DG The OG

David G, also affectionately known as the "Original Gangsta" has been visiting from Toronto the past few days: 8.29-31, 9.5-6. It's been great to see him.

Hanging out with him & Scott L. brings back such great memories from my university days, hanging out with the boys, playing soccer, going partying at the Luvafair. Man, it seems so long ago....

While Dave was here, we went to Al-Watan for Pakistani food twice, we met Scott for lunch downtown once, and we also walked around the city a ton. At first he was quite bitter that we went everywhere on foot, but by the end of his stay he was "converted" to this simpler way of getting from place to place. He found it refreshing, to walk everywhere. He got some exercise that way, he saw the city from "ground level", and what more, he enjoyed the way our conversations flowed more naturally during walks.

Late afternoon he went back to Toronto. Good luck going for walks in that concrete jungle....!

One Last Stab

I have mixed feelings on this day.

I am happy. I'm happy because Sharon got married. I'm not happy about the fact she married, because ever since the day I met her I've loved her, and it's not easy seeing her marry someone else. But all I've ever wanted for her is to be happy, and if this marriage is right for her, then so be it. I bless it. I bless her.

I am relieved. Her marriage provides yet another element of closure for me. It's not like I've had any hopes of getting together: this hope was smashed to smithereens a long time ago, but still, knowing that she now has a ring on her finger does provide yet one more element of finality to the issue.

I am disappointed. I am disappointed because she did not invite me to her wedding. Over the past 4 months she repeatedly told me that she had a wedding invitation for me, yet, she never gave it to me. It's not that I wanted to attend her wedding that badly - I didn't - it's just that she didn't keep her word. She lied to me, and that hurts. It shows me that I don't really matter to her. Perhaps I never did.

I remember how when I was younger my mom always said to me "God has someone very special in mind for you." I believed this, never questioned it. Until I turned 30, unmarried. I started to wonder whether God really did have someone special for me: maybe we just had an inadequate conception of God's will and plan for our lives.

I think it's fair to say that sometimes we want something so badly that we will not even endeavour to conisder the thought that God may have something different, better, in store for us. We cannot bear the thought of not getting what we want, and since we believe in the sovereignty of God, the only potential option left to us (& God) is that he'll 'make things happen.'

C. S. Lewis was right when he said that if God had given him everything he ever asked for he'd be in deep trouble, because not everything he asked for was good for him. In fact, many things he prayed for were downright harmful. The same is true for me. Ahhhh, hindsight vision is always 20/20.

The most important discovery my relational disappointments have led me to is in the way I relate to God, and especially the way I pray. I still believe in God's sovereignty. He is still my Master who will never mislead me. The prophet attests to this, "Whoever is wise, let him understand these things; whoever is discerning let him know them; for the ways of the LORD are right, and the upright walk in them, but transgressors stumble in them" (Hosea 14:9).

And when I pray, I try not to pray that God would "give me this," "make this happen," or "lead me that way." Inevitably I just end up disappointed. God's ways are just too mysterious for me to comprehend. "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, declares the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts" (Isaiah 55:8-9).

Instead of praying for me, I look for ways to better praise and worship him in life and prayer. I look for ways to serve him more completely, wholeheartedly, unconditionally. As my prayer life is oriented away from me and towards him, it seems to me, I am realigning my whole being away from my selfish tendencies, towards his light, his holy mysteries.

Yes, I still ask, seek, and knock (Matthew 7:7-8). But I try (emphasis on the word try) to do so in order to learn more about God and his ways. This entails asking how I can best serve him, seeking how to best benefit his kingdom, and knocking again and again in expectancy of his mercy, not quick solutions.

I am thankful. Thankful for this discovery. Thankful for all the advice I've received over the years from family and friends. Thankful for Sharon, her marriage, and her happiness. Thankful for disappointments. And I am especially thankful for the LORD's "steadfast love" and "mercies", for they never cease, they never come to an end. Indeed, "they are new every morning." Great is the faithfulness of the LORD (Lamentations 3:22-23).

Travelling Light

I helped my good friend Rudy move into a new apartment earlier this evening, and as I saw all the "stuff" he moved, I couldn't help but be reminded of my own moves over the past 10 years: Abbotsford-New West (1997), New West-Kits (2000), Kits-Fairview (2001), Fairview-City Hall (2002), and furthermore, I couldn't help but think how much we love to gather and collect stuff.

All kinds of stuff. Big stuff. Small stuff. Old stuff. New stuff. Good stuff. Bad stuff. Some stuff that we need, but really when it comes right down to it, a whole lotta shitty stuff that really serves no need at all, other than distracting us even for just a tiny little while from anything remotely important.

Neil Postman wrote, among other books, a book called "Amusing Ourselves To Death". I think I need to read that book, because he probably addresses this tendency of ours to accummulate and consume for no other reason than self-amusement.

Tasty Soup

I went to Abbotsford late this afternoon for a celebratory dinner for Ted's 41st (?) birthday. First I dropped by Ted & Karin's place and hung out there for a bit, before heading to mom & dad's for dinner.

At around 5pm I arrived at Ted's. I played "bumm-a-war" on the trampolin with my nephews Neal & Dylan, before heading inside and talking with Ted and Karin for a bit. We reminisced about Ted's "Strongwill" days in Paraguay. Yes, those were the days....

At around 7pm we all headed over to mom & dad's for dinner. As usual, the dinner tasted excellent, and as usual, there was enough food left over to feed a hungry village in Africa. Lord have mercy ...

After dinner we went inside and had a nice chat about all kinds of topics. Yes indeed, it is in these kinds of situations where the young and old, the intelligent and ignorant, the serious and jovial, mix to form some sort of familial-conversation-soup that one never knows quite what to make of. One may like or dislike the taste, but tasteless this soup is not, for its ingredients are far too filled with passionate talk about personal and impresonal matters.

Anyways, enough philosophical psycho-bable: it was a good day. Enough said for today.

Ryan & Julie's Wedding

Another weekend, another wedding: the 3rd wedding in the last 5 weeks.

Today my friend Julie married Ryan, at a golf & country club in Surrey. It was strange attending a non-religious wedding, but everything was done in very good taste. Actually, I'd expect nothing less from Julie. She has a way of getting things done exactly the way she wants to. It was a perfect day for a wedding: hot and sunny. The reception was good, with super food, wine, and various fun activities that encouraged guest participation.

In the evening I went to church, and afterwards I walked home. I've walked home from church throughout the summer; it's been a good way to wind down the weekend, and prepare for a new week.

Next week's the last wedding I'm attending this summer. This one will be hard to swallow. Sharon's getting married.

Hiking & Wining

Morning:
* I hiked the Grouse Grind with Paul, and two friends he invited, Sharon and Karin. Neither of the girls were "hikers", so we we took it really easy. It took us 2 hours to hike to the top. As far as socializing was concerned, it was fun. But hiking at such a slow pace was no fun.

Once at the top, we relaxed for a bit, before going to see the grizzly bear "habitat" they have set up there. It was interesting. I'm fascinated with bears, so my nickname "cub" is actually quite ideal. These bears are massively huge and heavy, yet very playful. Those qualities, "big" and "playful" seem like paradoxes to me, but that's probably just me.

Evening:
* I went to the August edition of the "Wine Club" I'm a part of with some close friends. Tonight we tried a few Sauvignon Blanc wines. Kendell-Jackson (California), and Cloudy Bay (New Zealand) both make good Sauvignon Blancs. Oddly enough, I liked the "ringer" wine best: a French Vouvray. Unfortunately, I forgot the brand name of the wine.

Wavelenghts

This morning Grace and I met over coffee. It was the first time we met since our time together in Firenze and Roma in July. It was good to catch up, especially with regards to her experience this past month at Caux, Switzerland, at an inter-religious dialogue/conference.

But I knew that sooner or later we'd end up talking about us. She asked me why I hadn't emailed her the past 5 weeks. I simply told her the truth: I feel that she takes my attention away from God, I feel an increased draw towards the single life, and finally, we're both very different, on different "wavelenghts", if you will. She was hurt, but she accepted my comments.

I offered her friendship, but she said she'd think about it, and get back to me.

In the afternoon I met up with my wonderful nephew Ralph, whom I picked up at the bus station. We took the skytrain downtown and had lunch there, before walking around, checking out the city. Late afternoon we took the bus to my place. Just before arriving at my place we dropped by a hairstylist just around the corner, where he proceeded to get a (tiny little) haircut. For dinner we cooked up some pasta, and in the evening we went to watch a movie. He stayed the night. Tomorrow I will drive him back to Abbotsford.

Although I enjoyed my time with Ralph, my mind was occupied with thoughts about singlehood, lust, friendships, cellibacy, marriage, and relationships.

Dean & Kira's Wedding

Cindy picked me up around 9am today and together we went out for breakfast at Seb's. It was good: good food, good conversation, and pleasant company.

In the afternoon I went to Dean & Kira's wedding at church (I ushered at it). The ceremony was nice, Dan G. preached. The reception was casual: stand-up, "fingerfoods" luncheon. I left at around 6pm, went home to take a nap.

In the evening I went to Jeff & Jo Ella's for beer & pizza. Loretta was there too. Good times.

Oh and yeah, while picking up a wedding present for Dean & Kira at Caper's, I asked out the checkout girl. She was the cutest thing. She said no, because she has a boyfriend. But she had the hugest smile on her face, and she told me I made her day.

Melanie's Back Too!

Finally reunited! One of the things I find most frustrating about our family is that we don't live together. My bro & sis live in Paraguay, I live here, and my parents, well, they's usually caught somewhere in between.

Today that all changed, as for the first time in about 15 years we're all together, if not in the same city, at least in the same country. Melanie, Heinz, and their 4 bandidos arrived at the Vancouver aipport, and it was great to see them. Mom, dad, and I went to the airport and greeted them upon their arrival. Ralph & Tanis have grown so much. It's great to have them all back.

I think we'll be together, God-willing, for at least a year. After that, who knows what will happen. It may even be me that leaves the country next time around.

On another note, I finished my paper for Building Christian Communities today, and handed it in. It always feels so good handing in a project. I put a lot of work into this, and I liked the final result. Not only did I learn much from the research I did on Benedictine Monastic Communities, but I also made some suggestions/recommendations for the church: steps the church could/should take in order to improve the way Christians practise community. I am challenged by the Benedictines, and think we have much to learn from them.

Imitating God: A Prayer

As we quieten our hearts and minds, we invite you Holy Spirit, to continue your presence in and among us. Keep our hearts and minds focused on you and on what you want to say to us.
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Heavenly Father, you are our creator, you are God, you are the great I AM. We approach you with a humble heart and a submissive spirit. You alone are worthy to be praised, for you created the heavens and the earth, and all that is in it.

We also approach you with a joyful heart, for even though we rebel and turn away from you time and time again, your faithfulness endures. As the Apostle Paul says, “Christ loved us and gave himself up for us”, and this was a fragrant offering and a sacrifice to you, our God (Eph 5:2). Thank you Jesus for your sacrifice on the cross. We acknowledge with thanksgiving that true reconciliation with creation, one another, and God, is only possible through you.

Lord Jesus, we want to be imitators of you. We want to walk in love (Eph 5:2), steer away from darkness, and walk instead in your light (Eph 5:8), so that we too may inherit your kingdom (Eph 5:5). Awaken us from our slumber, so that Christ may shine on us (Eph 5:14).

Help us be better stewards of time; keep us from idleness and foolishness (5:4, 16). Grant us wisdom and discernment in our daily tasks, in our actions and our conversations.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

On a hot and sunny day like today, in this beautiful city, it is easy to think that all is well elsewhere too. But, “the days are evil” (Eph 5:16), and this is so evident in the conflicts and brokenness in so many places. We intercede for your intervention.

May your church act boldly and wisely.
Protect your people from harm.
Reveal your ways to those in positions of power and influence.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

We are grateful for your church, and in particular, this evening congregation. Guide and protect this service from the Evil One, who seeks to distract and divide us. I pray especially for Neil, the musicians, the prayer team, the greeters, ushers, the Evening Service Committee, the planning committee, and the many people who serve you here on Sunday nights. Grant wisdom and the guidance of your Holy Spirit as they shepherd your flock.

And our congregants we entrust to you also, Lord Jesus. Awaken in us a desire and commitment to know you and one another better. May we see the eyes of Jesus in the person who sits beside us in the pews. Give us grace and patience as we walk our Christian life together and help us to be genuine and real. May we “walk as children of light”, discerning what is good, right, true, and pleasing to you (Eph 5:9-10).

Grant peace to those who could not be here tonight: restore the sick or the hurting, direct the hearts and minds of the distracted, refresh those that are on vacation, and and give us all a single-minded heart intent on loving and serving you and your church.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

And finally, Lord, we silently entrust to your loving care those people you’ve placed on our hearts and minds.

We give thanks to you, our God and Father, and ask that you would guide us into the new week with humble and joyful hearts. And as it pleased you that Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, may our walk in love also be a fragrant offering to you, our God. This we pray in the name of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ (Eph 5:20).

Amen.

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Evening Service Prayer at St. John's Shaughnessy Anglican Church, based on Ephesians 5:1-20.