Fútbol, Food, Film

1pm - played fútbol at Jonathan Rogers, with my fútbol friends.

4pm - went for dinner at my favourite restaurant in Vancouver: Al Watan. Jen, Ceci, and Alfonso came along. For a change, we ordered the lentils as the vegetable dish, and I'm glad we did. They're not as spicy as the rest of the dishes, so it was much to my liking. From now on, lentils will be the veggie order of choice for me.

6:30pm - went to a movie, Extraordinary Measures, with Jen and Ceci.

Games Night

Tonight we had our first Games Night. Four of us - Vero, Benja, Sanjit, and I - are the first official attendants and members of this very elite group who going forward, will meet every Wednesday night to perfect the craft of playing Ticket to Ride (and perhaps once our addiction to this great game dies down, other games too).

Tonight we played 2 games, and it was a case of Jeckyl and Hyde for me: the first game I came in last place, dead last, nowhere near the frontrunner (and the rest of them), Vero. The second game, on the other hand, I made up for it and won.

Next recruits: Jen and Juan B.
Next meeting: Wednesday February 3.
Next place: Vero's.

Veal A La Parmegiana, Anger, And Shame

Today we celebrated mom's birthday at the Spaghetti Factory in Abbotsford. As usual to my visits to this restaurant, I had Veal a la Parmegiana. I never tire of it.

Afterwards, I went to mom and dad's for the afternoon and early evening. We had a good conversation, although I can no longer hide the fact that I bear some anger and resentment towards mom. I don't yet fully understand why this is the case.

I also feel increasingly ashamed around my parents. I just don't match up to their expectations: single at 40, vocation-less, owning nothing of significance (ie - apartment, house, property, business), and generally speaking, having accomplished very little in life. Yet, somehow, God is in this, I just don't know how. God has placed me where I am, which means, in some way, this must be what's best for me. My place in this picture is to be faithful, wherever I'm at.

When I told my parents that I feel ashamed around them, my father's response - God bless him! - was the only right response: "Ed, shame is of the devil. You have no reason to be ashamed around us."

I am so very thankful for my earthly parents.

Evensong, Oisi For Dinner

After work, Jen and Sanjit joined me at Evensong. Tonight's the last night I'll be able to enjoy their company on a Tuesday night, as going forward, I'll be teaching the catechism class at church on Tuesdays.

I'm excited to teach the course, but I'm sad that Jennifer's not in the class. I'd hoped that by now - 1.5 years after we began going out - she'd be at least somewhat interested in matters of faith, but alas, I'm wrong. Maybe this is what the gospel of John means when it states that "the Spirit of God blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes." (John 3:7). I believe this refers to the mystery, the paradox, of election: God elects those he saves, and yet, in a mysterious way, we are each responsible for how we respond to God's command to love Him and our neighbour (Matthew 22:34-40).

After Evensong the three of us went to Oisi, a southern-food (Louisianna) restaurant on Granville.

T-Shirts, Fútbol, & Ticket To Ride

A busy day today!

10am - breakfast with Jennifer. Well, we were supposed to have breakfast at one of Jen's favourite joints in North Vancouver, but the place was closed - of all days, and of all reasons - because of flooding: I guess a pipe burst overnight...

10:30 - our purpose for going to North Van to begin with, was to get some t-shirts printed for our dear friends, Ruben and Tati, in Cuernavaca. We got two t's: a blue one, for Tati, and a red one for Ruben.

12pm - we managed to find another place to go for breakfast afterall. Forgot the name of it...

1:30 - we picked up Vero, and then went straight to the cancha de fútbol near my place where we met up with the rest of the soccerinos to play.

4pm - to Santa Barbara's, and then to Donald's Market, for some grocery shopping

6pm - dinner and TTR (Ticket to Ride) at Jen's.

Paella @ Juan's

Tonight Juan invited us for dinner for paella. Vero, Benja, Karma, Jen, and I went.

I tend not to order paella when I go out to eat, because my last experience with paella - from a Latin restaurant on Commercial Drive - was not a good one. But tonight's dinner was excellent. Since I'm not a huge fan of seafood, I found tonight's "measured" quantity of seafood much to my liking.

After dinner we sat around and discussed, of all things, environmental concerns. Our group of friends is very good at "enjoying the moment", we always make the best of the here and now: laughter, great food, poking fun at one another, or musing the latest hot topics. But we lack in depth: depth of thought, and certainly in depth of conversation about meaningful things. So tonight was a refreshing change.

Weddings, Friendship, and Dreams That Come True

I titled this post as above, in honour of Ceci and Angus, who recently got engaged, and whose friendship I value greatly.

To my immense surprise I received an invitation from them today, to be involved in a meaningful way at their wedding. My role may be something as simple as doing one of the Scripture readings, or as involved as either paraphrasing the Priest's sermon, or giving a short homily myself - in Spanish.

What an immense privilege. I do not want to let them down.

Lord, thank you for Ceci and Angus. Bless their relationship, their wedding, their marriage, through Jesus Christ, our Lord. Let it be so. Amen.

The Blind And The Deaf Come Forward

When I was younger - before I was even a teenager - our family occasionally travelled to a remote and isolated part of the country to visit relatives (this was in South America, before we immigrated to Canada). And looking back, what strikes me about these trips is how dangerous they were.

Much of the road was unpaved - just a dirt road. In the summer, the wind would kick up the dry dust and make it impossible to see more than 10 metres ahead, and in the winter, the road got so muddy from the rain that we feared getting stuck in the mud or sliding into oncoming traffic.

And while everyone else was scared during the trip, I remember sitting in the back seat, at peace, watching my father skillfully maneuver our 1974 Volvo through the dust or mud. I sometimes even fell asleep: that’s how safe I felt; that’s how much I trusted my father getting us there. And he always did, he never failed.

Our reading from Isaiah (43:1-13) gives us a similar picture of trustworthiness: the trustworthy character of God, our heavenly Father. In fact, God is trustworthy in a way that no earthly father could be. Therefore, we need not fear what’s before us (43:1, 5), no matter how difficult our situation is (43:2): God loves us (43:4), he has saved us (43:1, 3, 4), and he is with us (43:5). No one can snatch us from his protective hand (43:3, 11, 12). This is the God we are witness to, this is the God we proclaim to the world (43:10, 12).

The text addresses Israel in captivity: oppressed, living under constant fear and doubt. God had handpicked the people of Israel to be his ambassadors to the world - not because they were extraordinarily talented or good, actually the opposite was the case, they were the weakest and most vulnerable nation in the region - but instead of fulfilling this privileged role, they ignored it: they saw and recognized what is right, but refused to act on it, "they heard with their ears, but didn’t really listen” (42:20 paraphrase). God gave them the independence they wanted, and the result was decisive: they were robbed, plundered, and taken away in chains by their neighbours.

In such dire conditions, God speaks great words of comfort, he addresses their fears with some of the kindest words he’s spoken to his children. Two verses in particular stand out, and in both of them God appeals to his trustworthy character: Verse 1, “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name...” (43:1). He reminds them that he saved them - he delivered them from slavery at the Red Sea (Exodus 14:21-22) - and under his protection they were safe from the burning fire and the consuming flame (14:2).

And then again in verse 4: “Because you are precious in my eyes, and honoured, and I love you, I give men in return for you, peoples in exchange for your life” (43:4). The God of the Bible has in recent times been portrayed as vindictive and violent, but this caricature does no justice to our reading: notice the tender words God uses here. They are gentle, full of concern, as from a father to a son.

God’s people are precious to him - he “buys” his people back in an exchange with king Cyrus (43:3) - he frees them so that they can return home (43:6-7). This was not a desperate move on the part of someone who’s weak; it was lavish generosity on the part of someone who loves deeply and has the whole world at his disposal.”1 Anyone who is loved this way has nothing to fear.

And we, the church, living after the death and resurrection of Jesus, are witnesses to the greatest purchase of all, when God through Jesus ‘bought back’ all human beings, for his glory: Christ gave his life on the cross “as a ransom for many” (Matthew 10:45); Jesus...gave himself as a ransom for all men” (I. Timothy 2:5-7). We are precious in God’s eyes. The church is God’s treasure.

The chapter concludes with a remarkable court scene: God challenges the gods of the nations to put their record on the line by bringing the nations as witnesses, but neither the gods nor the nations show up (43:9). But the blind, and the deaf, they do show up; the people of God do come forward, out of captivity: they are witnesses to God’s faithfulness (43:8).

And another remarkable thing happens: as the blind and the deaf give testimony, their faith grows exponentially, it strengthens. Their own blindness and their own deafness is swallowed up in new assurance, and they leave the courts with their heads held high (43:10).2

There’s a connection between proclaiming God’s faithfulness, and growing in our faith. Faith is a gift, certainly, but it’s a gift that we nurture by reminding one another and all those around us of the mighty acts of God. The antidote to fear and doubt is faith.

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Amen ✠

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1- Barry G. Webb, The Message of Isaiah: On Eagle’s Wings. The Bible Speaks Today. J. A. Motyer, ed. (Downer’s Grove, IL: IVP, 1996), 175.

2- Barry G. Webb, The Message of Isaiah: On Eagle’s Wings. The Bible Speaks Today. J. A. Motyer, ed. (Downer’s Grove, IL: IVP, 1996), 176.

Delight In Fatness

One of the most vivid images that I have of being thirsty is from a trip that I made in 1994, through the Mojave and Chihuahua deserts, from Sacramento California through Nevada, northern Arizona, New Mexico, to Dallas Texas.

We were in a car that didn’t have air conditioning, so we had to drive with our windows open, and while it was a consolation to have air circulating in the car, the problem was that the air came in from the outside hot and dry: no amount of water could really quench our thirst, water was always on our minds, our throats were burning for moisture. At rest stops I’d drench my head in cold water, and put a wet towel on my arms and shoulders to cool me off. Thirst was very real to us.

Anyone that has ever visited or lived in a hot place can easily identify with such a thirst. The first few words from Isaiah 55, would’ve made perfect sense to anyone living in 1st century Palestine: “...everyone who thirsts, come to the waters” (55:1a). What wasn’t so clear, and what ought to raise our eyebrows, are the words that follow. As in the previous case, God is the speaker:
“and he who has no money, come, buy and eat! Come, buy wine and milk without money and without price. Why do you spend your money...” or work “...for that which does not satisfy?” (55:1b-2a)

God is vividly portrayed as a “merchant in a marketplace where people are selling and buying”1; but what’s striking here is that God is not selling anything, he’s offering a free gift. God is sending out an invitation to all those who are in a spiritual desert, burning to have their spiritual thirst satiated, yearning for something to quench the deepest longings of the soul: forgiveness, reconciliation, love, and acceptance. And to anyone who finds herself in this situation he says “Hearken diligently to me, and eat what is good, and delight yourselves in fatness. Incline your ear, and come to me; hear, that your soul may live” (55:2b-3a).

I’m not a fan of fat in my meals - this is Vancouver after all, we’re all obsessed with healthy living - but in 1st century Palestine and in many cultures today, the fatty part on a piece of meat is the best part, a treat, because it’s so tasty.2 God here invites us to a rich banquet, a spiritual banquet, where the finest of foods, the finest of spiritual blessings, will be served.

This is not the first time God invited human beings. God has always invited us to his banquet feast, through what the Bible calls covenants, agreements initiated by God, and bringing into relationship God and his people: from Adam, to Noah, to Abraham, to Moses, to David (55:3b-5), and finally, Jesus Christ, in whom all previous covenants culminate.

It was Jesus who said to the woman at the well: “Everyone who drinks this water will be thirsty again, but whoever drinks the water I give him will never thirst. Indeed, the water I give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life" (John 4:13b-14). Jesus completes and fulfills all previous covenants; in him we have, literally, God with us. In Jesus, God offers himself as gift.

God’s ways are not like our ways; his thoughts are not like ours; the word that goes forth from his mouth does not return empty, but it accomplishes and prospers his purpose (55:8-11). His faithfulness is on display every time we see a rainbow - God’s promise to Noah that he would never again flood the earth with water. And the recreation and restoration of the world that is yet to come will be a glorious tribute to God’s faithfulness: mountains and hills will burst into song, trees will clap their hands, the thorn and brier of human sin will be removed forever, and we shall go out in joy and peace (55:12-13).

But we cannot do justice to this chapter by focusing exclusively on God’s invitation, we must also give due attention to the verses of admonition. God’s spiritual banquet might be likened to the parable of the wedding banquet that Jesus warns about: the host of the wedding has prepared a massive feast, but all those who were invited reject the invitation. The host then goes to the streets and invites anyone who is eager to attend. Once the seats are filled, the wedding gets underway. All in attendance enjoy a fabulous meal, while those on the outside weep and long for food (Matthew 22:1-14).

In the same way, God offers a banquet spread, but guests must come. “No one need be an outsider, but neither will anyone be forced to enter, and the invitation to do so will not be extended indefinitely.”3 May we not be found ungrateful for the invitation that we have received. Pardon is available, but we must forsake our wicked ways and seek the Lord while he may still be found (55:6-7).

In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

Amen ✠

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1- Larry, Walker, Isaiah. Cornerstone Biblical Commentary, Volume 8. Philip W. Comfort, ed. (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale, 2005), 243.

2- Larry, Walker, Isaiah. Cornerstone Biblical Commentary, Volume 8. Philip W. Comfort, ed. (Wheaton, IL: Tyndale, 2005), 242.

3- Barry G. Webb, The Message of Isaiah: On Eagle’s Wings. The Bible Speaks Today. J. A. Motyer, ed. (Downer’s Grove, IL: IVP, 1996), 218.

Jennifer's Back

I only slept 4 hours last night!

After getting in late last night (more like early this morning), Sanjit and I got up at 10 am, to go to the airport and pick up Jennifer.

She was very surprised to see me there, since we'd agreed that we wouldn't speak to each other until after the end of January. This, to give each other some breathing space and ponder our futures. Well, I broke my end of the deal, even though I was the one that had pushed for this arrangement.

Anyways, it's done, I saw her arrive at the airport. Together the three of us took the Canada Line back to her place where we dropped Jen off at her place. Afterwards, Sanjit and I went back home and .. slept some more!

In the evening, actually, more like, late afternoon, a few of our friends came over for another two rounds of Ticket to Ride. I'm definitely hooked on this game...

NYE @ Vero's

Contrary to my original plans, I did not have a NYE party this year. As happened a few years ago, a feeling of general apathy came upon me, and I just couldn't muster up enough energy to organize a party. Perhaps the fact that I had a big party at my place just over a month ago played a role too.

So it was to my great and pleasant surprise, that Vero came up to me a few days ago and offered to have a party at her place. Maybe she noticed that I wasn't as enthusiastic in my talk about NYE this time around.

The party at her place was perfect, in that it had a bit of everything: it started quiet, and progressively got louder. We had food (empanadas!) and conversaton the early part of the evening, and as the night wore on, things got louder, more festive. Fiveteen minutes before midnight we filled up our wine glasses, and began counting down to midnight.

Midnight came and went - with lots of hugs and kisses all around - and shortly afterwards we put on some loud music - pop, latin, techno, whatever - and danced until well past 1 in the morning.

And then came the best part of the evening: Ticket to Ride! We played not 1, not 2, but 3 games, until after 5am! Now that's a kickin' NYE party!

Sanjit stayed the night at my place afterwards. We got home shortly before 6am.

Below are some pictures, taken by Vero:

Work

I really am beginning to hate my job. This must change. Something must change soon.

More Ticket To Ride

I didn't work today, which I'm sure added to the reason it was such a good day.

The highlight of the day was .. surprise surprise .. playing board games with da gang. I picked up Sanjit at around 4pm, and then drove to Alfonso's, stopping off at Regent and Timmy Horton's beforehand.

At Alfonso's, the same people (except Juan) convened as two nights ago. We played three rounds of the game: I came in 2nd, 1st, and 1st, respectively. I slept peacefully, like a baby, utterly content in my victories.

Alfonso also made a simple but good meal, the kind of meal that I really like: pasta in a tomato and chicken sauce.

New Year's approaching in a few nights.

Jennifer's also returning soon from HK. I haven't missed her that much. I think it's because of our ambiguous and confusing location on the relational map. This chapter needs to sort itself out. I really hope I have the strength to stick to my words this time: we're off until such time as some core spiritual issues are dealt with.

Futbol, Ticket to Ride Europe

Today can be summed up in three words: "futbol", and "board game".

I slept in in the morning - wow, did I feel great when I woke up!

Early afternoon I went down to Jonathan Rogers Park and played soccer with my fantastic futbol friends. We played from about 1:30- 3:30pm. Fourteen people came, which made for a good and competitive game. The field was also in reasonably good conditions - not frozen hard, and not too muddy.

After the game we came over to my place, about 5 or 6 of us, and drank coffee, tea, and ate pannetonne and other sweets for a bit. Later on we got out "Ticket to Ride Europe", ordered some pizza, and played until half past midnight. What a great night. I enjoyed myself so much. The people who played were Veronica, Benja, Sanjit, Alfonso, Juan and I. Juan hung around for the first game but had to leave early. Vero won both games. I came last place in the first game, and second in the second game.

It was probably the best day of the month.

Christmas Day In Abbotsford II

During breakfast this morning mother said to me something along the lines of the following: "From where did you get this mentality about not giving presents"? I think I gave some kind of philosophical answer, but what I really should have said was the truth: "The Bible."

It was actually a very good day. I had a good conversation with mom and dad. I was able to admit my feelings of inadequacy in my current state of life. I refer here to basically two issues: vocation and marriage. I find that the vocational question bothers me more than the marriage question. However, the two are related. Everything in life seems to be related.

For the afternoon our whole family met at Tante Erika's. I dreaded going there, but in truth, it was a very good afternoon and evening. Aside from the great (Mennonite) food, there was also very good company. I spent the afternoon talking to my cousins, mostly, all of whom have their unique viewpoints, talents, and struggles that they bring to the table.

We also played a great board game that I got for Christmas: "Ticket to Ride Europe." The game lasted about two hours, and it has similar combination of strategy and luck that "Risk" has (without the focus on warfare and world domination), but it takes at the most 2 hours to complete.

I got home from Abbotsford around 9pm.

Christmas In Abbotsford I

I worked until around 3pm today, before I finally took off and went home. There's something deeply wrong with working on Christmas Eve.

I got home tired, and decided not to go to church in Abbotsford with family. By the sounds of it, I missed a very good Christmas program. But I knew that the next 1.5 days would be busy and hectic, so I decided to sleep at home until 6 instead, before heading out to the Valley.

Once at home, the usual Christmas Feast - Feast here is the appropriate word - was served by mom. Afterwards we sat around the table and conversed, before heading to the living room and made ourselves comfortable. Around 10pm we began what for most people is the highlight of the evening, but what for me is increasingly becoming a burden: the opening of presents, and all the hoopla that goes along with that.

There's no simplicity left in Christmas. The simple manger of the baby Jesus has become the glitz of coloured wrapping paper and bows. The month-long Advent season - the season we prepare for the Son of God becoming the Son of Man, has become the month-long season of shopping. The worst of it is that the Church has bought right into this farce.

Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on us.

From Silence To Peace

I've been reading Mother Teresa's book Come be my light over the past month. She inspires me in a way that few other women do. On page 315, near the end of the book, this poem of hers appears:

The fruit of silence is prayer,
The fruit of prayer is faith,
The fruit of faith is love,
The fruit of love is service,
The fruit of service is peace.

This poem can serve as a Rule of Life or steady foundation, a strong anchor that keeps us from floating aimlessly in the seas of life.

Meeting The Bishop

This past Sunday I met the visiting bishop at church. We had a very brief conversation and he offered to meet up with me to discuss vocational discernment. That meeting happened today. I met him from 9-10am (I took the time off work) at church, and generally speaking, the meeting went well.

He made some insightful comments:

* he sees me as an introvert/extrovert (he saw me preach last night at Evensong). This means that I prefer to be alone most of the time, but don't mind the occasional group/large crowd event. In church matters, this translates to having a strong preference for inward-focused activities (sermon preparation, prayer, reading, or perhaps one-on-one or small group meetings) over engagements involving many people (leading church services). The bishop is right on.

* given the above, church planting is out vocationally, unless I'm under the leadership of an extrovert. The bishop is right again. A church planter is a salesman, basically, and that I'm not. In fact, there's nothing I fear more than having to make a sale. Actually, I wonder whether my personality type is suitable for any sort of leadership, even in a context where the church is already established. I see myself as someone who provides balance, perspective, stability, steadfastness, and long-suffering, and a leader often needs to do the opposite: rock the boat, shake things up, make the hard calls, confront.

* the final comment that I found helpful was also a comment that was painful - how typical. He mentioned that he heard my sermon last night and he didn't feel "inspired" at all. He felt that my delivery was "well crafted", "well prepared", and theologically "true", but too "mechanical", "rehearsed." He mentioned that I did not make myself vulnerable during the sermon by showing my personality or my sense of humour. I did not take any risks, but instead, I hid behind the comfort of my written sermon. When he left the church, the question he was asking himself was "Why should I care about what I just heard in the sermon?" To him, I did not answer that question. That's a hard indictment. But I feel that again, he is right. I am afraid to make myself vulnerable. I feel I will be rejected by the listeners, I feel that I'll be rejected by the church.

Oh and one last thing. He preached on Sunday, and his sermon was actually less than inspiring also. He'd memorized everything and smiled throughout the sermon, but even so, he didn't connect with me. I guess we're even. Good thing God makes use of whatever we give him, because if he had any higher expectations, he'd be greatly disappointed.

Jennifer Off To HK

This morning I went to the early church service - as usual - and afterwards I went to Provence restaurant in Yaletown for breakfast with Jennifer. We were there almost a year ago too, on December 24, and we sat at almost the same table again this year. The difference though, this time around, was two-fold.

1- the weather: it was snowy last year, very snowy: in fact, it was snowing while we were eating. This time around the weather was cold and windy, but no snow.

2- our status: last year we were together, enjoying getting to know each other. This year, we're sort of in limbo - trying to figure out where we are, where we belong.

Ironically though, we get along better than ever now. Perhaps it's because the pressure's off, and we can just be ourselves, or maybe we just know each other better, but whatever the case may be, we understand each other better.

Without a doubt, she's my best friend.

After breakfast we got on the Canada Line to the airport, where she got on a plane to Hong Kong. She will spend Christmas there with family: brother, father, and mother.

I wish her a blessed Merry Christmas. May it be a time of Joy and Blessing.

Dinner At Antons with Jennifer

Tonight was a first: dinner at Anton's - my favourite Italian Restaurant in Vancouver - with Jennifer.
















She had Fettuccine with ham and peas in an Alfredo sauce. I had Cannelloni.








































It was also a first for another thing: getting into Anton's without a wait. Maybe it had to do with the time of our arrival - around 7:30pm - but that's never happened before. I always have to wait 20-30 minutes before getting a seat.

By the time we got out though, there was definitely a line-up, as the picture below shows. The picture also shows just how big the portions are (or conversely, how small our stomachs are). I'm holding 3 styrofoam containers (tsk tsk tsk): her leftovers, my leftovers, and dessert (tiramisu) leftovers.

After dinner we went for a drive in my car, something we've never done before. We drove up to SFU, and afterwards, down Boundary, before returning to her place.