Sharon

Tonight I went out with the greatest woman I have ever met. Yesterday was her birthday, so I took her out for a birthday dinner, and a movie at the Vancouver International Film Festival.

I met her in early 1999, and my life has never been the same since. I was "done" the first time I set eyes upon her. I immediately knew I was at a point of no return. If I married her I'd be the happiest man on earth, bar none. If not, the disappointment of it would be the greatest struggle I'd have to deal with in my life.

Those who know me well, know the story: between 1999 and 2001 I declared my love for SC no less than 5 times, and was rejected 5 times. In 2002 I left the country in order to deal with my brokenness. I returned in 2003, and in 2004, after not seeing her for almost two years God miraculously brought her back into my life. We re-met on the skytrain, of all places. During my time away from her I healed, by God's grace, but even after 2 years away from her, I still loved her. I again declared my love for her, and she again rejected me.

Since that last rejection, I've arrived at a place of peace about the whole thing. I've accepted her as a friend, and I know my limits. I cannot see her or talk to her often. The sight of her melts me to the core. I get whoozy. The sound of her voice surely is the sound of God's highest Angel. There is none other like her.

So yesterday I pick her up, and she lets me drive her new car to the restaurant. We park the car, go inside, and take our table. I'd made reservations for two. We order our food, and immediately afterwards, we begin catching up. After all, it's been 10 months since we've seen each other.

Her cellphone rings. She says "I'm just going to let the phone keep ringing, and when it stops, I'll turn it off, so that we don't get disturbed." The phone stops ringing. She takes it in her hand, opens it to check who called, and then turns it off. As she turns off the phone, I look at her hand.

There's a gigantic ring on her finger, with a diamond almost the size of an eraser on a refillable pencil. My jaw drops. She notices my reaction. She smiles, and says: "Awwww, you saw it didn't you. I was going to tell you about it."

So yes, there it is. She got engaged.

For the next hour she tells me about the guy she's engaged to. She tells me how they met 6 months ago, how their relationship progressed, and how much they love each other. She tells me how since she met him she feels an inner peace that she's never felt before. She tells me how kind, gentle, caring, and loving he is. She tells me how romantic his proposal was. At the end she tells me, "He's actually a lot like you. He's German, he's short, and he even looks a little like you."

I smile. I tell her I'm happy for her. I tell her she deserves such a man as she's described. I tell her that that inner peace she spoke about earlier is evident on the outside, in the way she smiles.

Inside, I feel I'm standing at the gates of hell.

After dinner we go to the movie, and after the movie we go to my car. She gives me a hug I shall never forget. I put my arms around her and hold her for a few seconds. I sense the warmness of her body. I feel the firmness of her youth. I smell her hair. It smells like heaven.

I say "It was good to see you again." She says "Yes, thank you. It's been too long." I nod my head in agreement.

I get in my car, she gets into hers. We smile and wave at each other as we go our ways.