Hail, True Body

Last night was my debut in the Evening Service Choir. During Holy Communion we sang a piece by W. A. Mozart, Ave Verum Corpus:

Hail, true body, born of the Virgin Mary, who has truly suffered, and was sacrificed on the cross for mankind, whose side was pierced, whence flowed water and blood. Be for us a foretaste of heaven in the test of death."

It's a great piece. I love the reference to Christ being "for us a foretaste of heaven." I found this especially meaningful while partaking the Eucharist. Indeed, the Lord's Supper points towards a coming banquet with our Lord Jesus Christ.

God In Everyday Tasks

Menial everyday tasks lead me to worship God.

Sometimes I pray silently while making my bed. Other times I catch myself saying "Lord have Mercy" or "Christ have Mercy," or reciting the Lord's Prayer, while organizing my books, sweeping the floor, or folding laundry. The last few days I've unexpectedly burst into tears while shaving or showering. Today it happened while washing dishes.

When these kind of moments happen, I'm driven to my knees in worship and adoration of God. I find this strange, because the reason that tears flow to begin with, is because of the brokenness I see in my life: loneliness, jealousy, envy, pride, insecurity, and lack of certainty. But instead of focusing on myself when these intense moments of pain come, I'm led to seek comfort from someone else. I'm overwhelmed by something, someone, to look outside myself for a solution. I'm compelled to throw myself at the feet of God and acknowledge his greatness, his majesty, his sovereignty. I'm driven to praise.

Perhaps this is what St. Paul was talking about when he said in Romans 8:26-27:

"Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God."

Rudolf And Jelena

I just emailed my cousin Rudolf in Germany my travel plans for this summer. I hope he will play host to me, at least during my stay in Frankfurt.

I also asked him to send me his sister Jelena's email address. She lives in Berlin, and I hope to hook up with her too.

This is exciting!

Incidentally, I found writing in German very difficult. I often speak Spanish at school, but I rarely speak German.

Deutschland, Ich Komme!

Germany, I'm coming!

I booked my flight to the World Cup in Germany today. Here is my itinerary:

May 31, 8:45am: Vancouver - Montreal
May 31, 5:15pm: Montreal - Frankfurt
Arrive in Frankfurt on June 1, 6:30am.

July 12, 1:15pm: Frankfurt - Toronto
July 12, 5pm: Toronto - Vancouver
Arrive in Vancouver on July 12, 7pm.

I will spend one month in Germany, and 10 days in Italy. Included in my German visit are the following cities: Frankfurt, Berlin, Köln, Kaiserslautern, and a few other historical cities/sites yet to be determined. In Italy, I hope to spend time in Rome, Pompeii, and Assisi.

Next up? Train tickets!

Get Lost

My super-duper Bolivian friend Claudia shared with me a great way to tell someone off (ie – “get lost”, “take a hike”, “go away”). For the best effect, I'll say it in Spanish (with English tranlsation):

"Buscate un bosque y perdete!"

"Find yourself a forest and get lost!”

I love it. I look forward to using it. I meet at least one person a day whom I’d like to say that to..!

Join The Choir

Two days ago I joined our church Evening Service Choir. Ever since I was a little boy, mom's been telling me that I should sing in a choir (she always tells me I have a good singing voice), and I admit, I love choral music.

I don't like most contemporary church music, and since our church sings a good number of contemporary music, maybe the best way for me to sing songs that speak to me spiritually is by joining a choir. Our choir only sings once a month, and we only have two practises a month, so the level of commitment is not overly strenuous.

Our Evening Choir Director's name is Amber, and she's fabulous, young and very dynamic. We practised two songs: Brother James' Air, and a Latin piece by Mozart.

Our first performance is next Sunday night during Holy Communion. Hold your applause, please. ;)

Lovely Chat

I just finished talking to Alicia. I was sitting on one of the study couches at school and she came up out of nowhere to say hi. She sat down, and we talked for about 30 minutes.

It was a great. I'm happy.

Deliverance: A Prayer

The Psalmist reminds the Israelites of God’s deliverance from the hands of king Pharaoh: “Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth! I will open my mouth in a parable; I will utter dark sayings from of old, things that we have heard and known, that our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, but tell to the coming generation the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.” (78:1-4)
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Heavenly Father we thank you that you have revealed yourself in history, through prophets and through Holy Scriptures that attest to your faithfulness and your steadfast guidance. We are grateful to you for the examples we have in servants such as Moses and Aaron, who did not harden their hearts towards you, but courageously stood against sin and did what’s right in your eyes.

Thank you for delivering your people, and for the good plans that you have for us, most evident in your Son, our Lord Jesus, whom you sent in order to reconcile us back to you. He showed us how to be truly human, and he paid for it with his own blood, even his life. Father, soften our hearts, so that we can follow your Son Jesus. Give us faith and steadfastness in following you.

So often we think we know better than you. We are proud, and even though we know our ways lead to destruction and despair, yet we still reject your good and righteous ways. Lord have mercy on us, and soften our hearts. May we be more faithful in clinging to you and your great promises.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

We pray for the world, a world that’s full of disaster, hurt, and pain. We think of those who have lost loved ones, family members, or homes in the landslides in the Philippines, or the earthquakes in Pakistan. Grant wisdom in the continued efforts to find survivors, and to feed, clothe, and house the hungry and homeless. We pray especially for your grace and protection upon Christian aid agencies and missionaries in these areas.

We also pray regarding the recent unrest in the Middle East, Indonesia, Pakistan, and Nigeria. May calm heads prevail amidst clashing worldviews and values. Bring healing oh Lord, to the people of the Muslim faith, through your Son Jesus Christ.

And we bring to you the western world, a world that marginalizes faith in a loving God, in favour of self-promotion, self-glorification, and self-improvement. Lord, have mercy on us. Empower us with your Holy Spirit, to love you and our neighbour with all our heart, mind, and soul.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

We pray for your church, still growing, still proclaiming the good news of Jesus Christ. We thank you particularly for our parish, St. John’s, and your steadfast guidance through many seasons, some good, and some painful. We are especially encouraged by the unity of heart and spirit evident earlier this week at the Vestry Meeting. Amidst the many challenges, you continue to strengthen, sustain, and guide us. May this unity bring glory to you, Lord, and may it bring us closer to you and one another in humility and love.

Additionally, we are grateful for the courageous leadership of your servants David, Dan, Neil, and the many others who experience the costs of following you in a very real way. Bless them, and strengthen them by your Word, by your Holy Spirit, and through your people.

Continuing to pray for the Anglican Communion, we direct intercession to you for our bishop, Michael I, and Andrew H, the Canadian Primate. We pray for special guidance and grace upon them both. Draw them to yourself Lord Jesus. We pray that they would not harden their hearts towards the gospel, but that they would embrace the truth of the gospel. Grant the gift of faith, Lord. We ask for wisdom for both of these leaders: wisdom that’s rooted not in the inklings and desires of this world, but wisdom that comes from you, the true fountain of wisdom.

Lord, in your Mercy, hear our prayer!

As we begin a new week, we silently entrust to your loving care the following people you’ve placed on our hearts and minds.

Lord Jesus, we offer ourselves to you. We commit ourselves to you. Fill the deepest longing we have with your love, so that we may be able to reach out to others in your name. May we join the Psalmist in ensuring that “the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might, and the wonders that he has done” are passed on from generation to generation.

All this we pray by the power of the Holy Spirit, in the name of the risen Lord Jesus Christ, always worshiping, praising, and giving glory to the Father.

Amen.

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Evening Service Prayer at St. John's Shaughnessy Anglican Church, based on Exodus 7:1-24, and Psalm 78:1-4

Communal Prayer

The past few weeks I've really been blessed by communal prayer.

While my personal prayer life's struggling because of my lack of discipline, praying with friends has been thriving to the point where I often seek out friends to pray with. The past two weeks I've had no less than 6 instances where I had the opportunity to pray with one person or more.

I'm thankful for these prayer warriors God's placed in my life. Yet another manifestation of God's grace poured upon us.

I Could Get Used To This!

It's sunny (but crisp) today .. again. I think this is 5 straight days of sun!

Valentine

Today it seems appropriate to talk about the real definition of love. It's not your typical definition found on tv, radio, bus, or newspaper ads. It is much more revolutionary, mind-blowing, indeed lifechanging, than anything the world has to offer. Here goes:

"By this we know love, that he laid down his life for us..." (I. John 3:16)

"God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; if we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us." (I. John 4:8-12)

Conceptually, I know and understand the implications of God's love for us. However, on a day to day basis, I struggle accepting that I'm loved by God and others. As well, I struggle loving others, especially my enemies. Nevertheless, I will keep at it, with God's help.

Lord have mercy. Christ have mercy. Lord have mercy.

Kyrie eleison. Christe eleison. Kyrie eleison.

Challenges Of Online Journaling

I've decided to change the way I journal.

To this point, I've refrained from using people's names online, choosing instead to give their first and last initials. I've done this primarily to protect people's identity. The internet's a powerful tool that unless treated with caution can compromise trust and care between friends.

At the same time, there's also the issue of gossip. One can write down just about anything about anyone in a private journal, because no other eyes will read it, but in the sphere of the world wide web everything is visible to everyone, providing a ripe environment for gossip. This is not something I want to do!

I want to continue to respect privacy and refrain from gossiping, but I also would like to make the journal more accessible and personal for those who regularly read my thoughts. Using initials seems impersonal and cold.

One suggestion given to me was to include people's first name, while just giving the initials of the last name. Another thought is to use nicknames. Either of these approaches would continue to protect privacy, while making the journal more personal. I think they are worth a try.

I invite your comments. And yes, if my rants amount to what in your mind is gossip, let me know, because that's certainly not my intention. Be warned though. If you accuse me of gossip, I just may end up writing about your complaint on my next journal entry! ;)

Tasting The World

Today was a super duper busy day. I went snowshoeing at Cypress Mountain from 9am until 5pm, then I went to an event at Regent, "Taste of the World", from 6 until 11.

A few words about each, as well as a highlight.

Snowshoeing: we went with our church group Fusion. Although turnout was low, less than 15, those who came had a super time. We went up to the summit of Cypress Mountain. The hike took 3.5 hours in total, lunchbreak included. The weather was sunny and crisp, although at the summit it was windy and cold. As usual, the view at the top was breathtaking. I'm convinced that when God "makes all things new", he will use Vancouver and its glorious surroundings as a blueprint. Thank you Lord for creating a world with such beauty and glory. The heavens indeed declare your mighty works!

Here are some pictures taken at the summit:

Taste of the World: This is one of my favourite annual events at Regent. It's a night when students from all cultures cook food and share it in one gigantic potluck. Afterwards, there's a talent show where representatives from many various cultures give us a glimpse into their culture through art, skit, poetry, or song. This year, the following nations were respresented in one way or another: Malaysia, Bulgaria, Switzerland, Japan, Germany, Great Britain, USA, New Zealand, Korea, Latin America, and Canada.

My contribution was as follows: for Canada, I helped cook pancakes, and I also helped out in a group song of Stompin' Tom Connors' The good ol' hockey game. For Latin America my contribution was mate and I also helped sing a group song La Bamba. I did not make any contribution to the German team. They didn't invite me. Mind you, I didn't offer myself either.

Highlight: The highlight of the night - at least for me - was when the Korean presentation asked for 10 volunteers to come forward, to participate in a tv gameshow of sorts very typical in Korea. I went forward. What we were asked to do was juggle this little puck with tassles on it (how lame .. why not just a ball? And why tassles?). Anyways, I won the competition. The great thing is I beat a Korean in the final. I beat him at his own game. The crowd was cheering and clapping, it was great fun! My reward for winning the competition was a Korean bookmark. Good thing I collect bookmarks...

Lunch With Packer

I went out for lunch with JIP today! After our morning class we had a Communion Service as usual on Fridays at noon. Then, a whole bunch of us went out for lunch, and lo and behold, Packer was one of them. Even better, I got to sit beside him. Here are three interesting things that happened during our time with him:

1- On our way to the restaurant, I was walking with a friend, while Dr. Packer was walking ahead of us on his own. He slowed down, turned around, and saw us walking together, and then said: "May I walk with you two? I'm dressed as a clergyman, and everyone is looking at me funny."

2- At the lunch table, he turned over to me and said: "Now this is really embarrasing for me, but I admit that I don't know your name. Would you mind giving it to me?" He was genuinely embarrassed that he didn't know my name. I told him what it was, and that I was in one of his classes. He knew that already, but admitted he has a terrible memory. We had a nice conversation afterwards.

3- Finally, another professor who was also present, asked him a philosophical/theological question, upon which Dr. Packer embarked on an in-depth, 20 minute answer. The question was essentially: "Do you think the church was right in dropping realism in favour of nominalism during the time of the enlightenment?" I won't get into details about his response, but I will just say that I was astonished at the amount of wisdom this man has. He summarized 2,000 years of philosophical thought in the matter of 15 minutes, applied it theologically, brought in Scripture, and underlined its significance for us today. Amazing...

Christian Designations

Today was a good day: it was sunny (yay .. for the 3rd straight day!!!) and cold, and I got a lot of schoolwork done. An interesting assignment I completed entailed filling out a Ministry Profile.

In it I had to answer "Yes" or "No" to the designations below. "Yes" characterizes my religious upbringing, and "No" does not. Here are the categories, and what I picked:

Protestant: Yes
Catholic: No
Orthodox: No
Jewish: No
Non-church: No
Fundamentalistic: No
Charismatic/Pentecostal: No
Pietistic: Yes
Liberal: No
Conservative: Yes
Evangelical: Yes
Anti-Church: No
Legalistic: Yes

A few thoughts about my designations:

* I was surprised at how many categories I said "Yes" to. Essentially I'm a Protestant Pietistic Conservative Legalistic Evangelical.

* The only category I don't like that I had to say "Yes" to was "Legalistic." I don't like that designation, yet I think that it at least partially describes my perception of what the Christian faith was all about as I was growing up. I trust that God is working in my life, sanctifying my legalistic tendencies.

* I was saddened that I could not say "Yes" to "Catholic" and "Orthodox". Somehow, I feel distant from our spiritual forefathers. The Reformation troubles me, because it led to denominationalism. I don't want to be part of a church that detaches and ignores its own history. Detachment is anathema to the incarnation.

* I want to be "Orthodox" because that's the only church that has maintained apostolic links to the early church. Furthermore, I want to be "Catholic" in the sense that the faith I adhere to is the one agreed to by "all Christians at all times and in all places." Finally, I want to be "Evangelical", proclaiming the good news of God in Jesus Christ. I want to be a Catholic Orthodox Evangelical.

I conclude with a prayer for the unity of the church (from the Book of Common Prayer, page 40):

O Lord Jesus Christ, who didst say unto thine Apostles, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you": Regard not our sins, but the faith of thy Church, and grant unto it that peace and unity which is agreeable to thy will; who livest and reignest with the Father and the Holy Spirit, one God, world without end. Amen.

Recipe For Joy

There's no better recipe for lifting our soul out of the dirt and muck of everyday life than listening to a good dose of JS Bach.

I've been listening to his Mass in B minor the past few days, and I am continually and neverendingly amazed and blessed by the depth of love for God he has, and how this love and devotion shines through his music.

It lifts up my soul and prompts me to join the mountains, ocean, rocks, angels, heavenly hosts, and the rest of creation in worshiping and praising the everlasting Trinity.

Here are the English lyrics* for "Gloria", one of the movements of the Mass:

Glory be to God in the highest, and on earth peace to his people.

We praise you, we bless you, we adore you, we glorify you.

We give you thanks for your great glory.

Lord God, heavenly king, almighty God and Father; only begotten Son of the Lord, Jesus Christ most high: Lord God, Lamb of God, Son of the Father.

Who takest away the sin of the world; have mercy upon us:

For you alone are Holy, you alone are the Lord, you alone are Most High: Jesus Christ

With the Holy Spirit in the glory of God the Father. Amen.

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*Source: The Bach Choir of Bethlehem

Relationally-Challenged

Over the past few months I've had to come to terms with the painful realization that the stereotype statement "guys are afraid of commitment" so often attributed to men, is applicable to me also. Yes, it's true. I'm afraid of commiting to a woman.

However, while trying to make sense of this rather devilish reality, I've come to wonder what women's equivalent sin is. I mean after all, both, Adam and Eve sinned. Sin is not something men have exclusive rights to. Surely women also have relational issues.

The answer came to me over the last few days, and it came in a clear and unmistakeable way. Here it is: women have the same commitment problem men do. We just call it something different. We call it "getting cold feet."

The reasons for being so afraid of commitment probably differ between men and women (and that's a whole different story), but still, let's call a spade a spade. Men and women are both afraid of commitment. We are both relationally-challenged.

Therefore, by the powers granted to me by myself, I hereby decree that should a man be accused of being afraid of commitment (especially by a woman), he has every right to defend himself in due and proper manner, in a way that exudes charity and nothing but charity.

Acceptable responses include:

"Listen, honey, your feet look like ice-blocks. May I fill the bathtub with hot water so that you can warm your lovely feet?"

"Brrrrr................it's cold in here. Why are you walking barefoot on the cold floor? Let me turn up the heat."

"You are right, my dear. I am afraid of commitment. Your feet look blue and cold. Would you like me to get some socks for you?"

Praying All Night

I often complain to my friends that theological studies can be a faith-killer because we learn so much "about" God, and are so tempted to leave it at that and not get to know the living God personally. Well, last night was a welcomed exception. It was a Regent first, "Pray for the World," an all night prayer vigil.

It began at 9pm, with an hour of worship in song. Afterwards, we confessed our sins, wrote them down on small sheets of paper, and nailed them on a cross. After all, how dare we intercede on behalf of a sinful world without first confessing our sins? How can we approach God with the needs of the world unless we ourselves acknowledge our need for Him and place ourselves in a state of grace? What assurance, to know that our wickedness has been dealt with once and for all by our Lord in his death and resurrection!

Then we ripped off all the sheets of paper and went outside in the cold wind and rain, and proceeded to burn all our "sins" into oblivion, the way Almighty God does. It was very powerful.

At 10 we began praying for Regent College and Vancouver. We thanked God for the wonderful work he's done here in the past, present, and for what he will accomplish in the future. We also thanked God for our lovely city, its beautiful surroundings, and its people. We brought before God the complacency of the church, and asked for mercy and grace in reaching out to a city that is engulfed in self-worship, self-improvement, self-obsession. We prayed for the poor as well as the wealthy. We claimed God's promise to guide our every step, and declared our allegiance to seek and discern his will for our city.

From 11 until 12:20am we prayed for the world: Canada, USA, Europe, Middle East, Latin America, Africa, and Asia. We thanked God for such a diverse world, made evident in the multi-cultural presence at school. We prayed for peace and justice. We prayed that God would grow his kingdom here on earth.

From 12:20 to 12:40 we had some much needed refreshments: coffee, tea, bread, chips, popcorn, and cake. I juiced up on caffeine.

Then, for the next 2 hours we divided up into numerous groups and prayed specifically for individual nations: Zambia, Germany, Kenya, and Korea were only a few examples. I joined prayer groups for Indonesia, Malaysia, the Philippines, and Albania.

At 2:45 we sang some more, and then shared the Lord's Supper together. What a blessing, to take in the body and blood of our Lord, assuring us of his grace, assuring us of his love, assuring us of his very presence. We also divided into small groups and prayed for one another.

At 3:30 praying ensued, until 5:30, at which time breakfast was served. However, I left early, at 3:30. I was exhausted, encouraged, tired, excited, overwhelmed, and sobered.

This was surely one of the highlights of my time at Regent so far. I acknowledge the importance of asking hard, academic, conceptual, abstract questions. Our mental faculties are to be used for the glory of God. God can handle intellectualism. However, when they become an end in themselves, we miss the point of doing them in the first place.

I yearn to put to use the things I learn about God. May these things lead to a closer, more intimate knowledge of God. I yearn for closer communion with God, as the Psalmist says in one of my favourite Psalms, 130:5-6:

"I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I hope; my soul waits for the Lord more than watchmen for the morning, more than watchmen for the morning."

$10 Richer

Today I found $10 in a vest I hadn't worn in 3 months. I bought myself a coffee with the money.

I love it when that happens.