Buying Therapy

I'm buying a lot of things these days.  The house was just the beginning.

Now I'm thinking of adding 2 gates to the property - one at the front, and one at the back.

Walkways - along the side, along the back.

Vegetable garden - extra soil.

Appliances.  Even ones that I don't need, like a dishwasher - to fill the hole in the kitchen.

Bike.

And still to come:

Window coverings.

Barstools.

Paintings.

I'm sure there's more...

I've been feeling upbeat lately.  I wonder if my fears and frustrations are being pacified through consumerism.  If they are, eventually these will come back with a vengeance; and magnified.  How will I pacify them then?

Food And Walking

During Sanjit's stay here we've done a tone of eating and walking, a great combination.

Yesterday we went for chinese food at Yip Hong's.  Afterwards we went to Broadway Roasters for some coffee.  On our way back we walked along the south side of the Meewasin trail, crossing the College Drive bridge back to my home on 5th Ave.

Today we went to Earl's for dinner.  Then we crossed the bridge across to the south side of the Saskatchewan river, and headed west to D'Lish, a gem of a coffee shop tucked away among the big mansions in Nutana.

Oh yeah, we had a few of my favourite Indonesian cigarettes too.  He seems to enjoy them even more than I do.

Tomorrow morning he's heading back to BC.  Back to my normal life...

The city has taken on a completely different colour in recent weeks. Less than a month ago grey was the predominant colour; today I noticed that grey's no more - green's in.

Prairie Daytrip

It seems that we have a hard time getting out of the house early - just like yesterday, we didn't get out of the house until after 11am.

We got on the 11 southbound to Chamberlain, were we connected with the #2 and continued through the Buffalo Pound Valley all the way to Moose Jaw, arriving there shortly after 1pm.

We met up with Alison and Paul there for lunch, at Brown's.  I haven't had many interactions with Paul, but it became clear to me today that he's a good man indeed.  Kind, gentle, and very caring.  He gave Sanjit some good suggestions for getting work, particularly with CN or CP.  I got the impression that his suggestions were falling on deaf ears, however.  I hope I'm wrong.

After lunch Sanjit and I walked along Main street and the surrounding areas, and I showed him some of the highlights of the city.  The murals, Veroba's, Coffee Encounters, Crescent Park, the library, and of course, 72 Ross Street.  We also drove by my workplace.  Memories, both, good and bad, came flooding through my consciousness as we walked through the city.

Then we got back into my Jetta and headed east, to Regina, where we went for a walk along Wascana Lake, took a nap in front of the legislative building, and did a quick tour of downtown and the eastside of town before getting back on the 11, this time northbound, and back home.

Sanjit drove the car on the way back.  He seemed to like the handling of the Jetta.

We listened to Julieta Venegas on the way home.

No dinner tonight.

Friendships are a treasure.

Busy Day!

It's so good to have friends, thank you Lord!

Today was a busy day, right from the get-go.

At 11am (ok, maybe the get-go was a rather late one...) Sanjit and I went to the Farmer's Market, where I bought a yummy strawberry rhubarb pie.

Then we walked over to my garden and watered it.  All's good on the garden front.  No mosquitoes yet...

Early afternoon we went to my new house and looked at how things are progressing there.  He seemed impressed with my purchase.

 

Around 5pm I went to a bike store on Main street and picked up the new bike I'd ordered 3 weeks ago.  I took it for a spin, liked what I felt, paid up, and went on my way.

At 8 in the evening we walked over to Chianti's for dinner.  It's not Marcello's on Commercial, but it was decent.

We've had some interesting conversations the past few days, covering topics such as work, friendship, marriage, and investments along the way.

While walking from the farmer's market to the vegetable garden we reminisced about the wonderful connections we've made with the soccerinos over the past few years.  Soccer, bbqs, games, conversations, movies ... the list of stimulating interactions and activities - the stuff of life - went on and on.  We wondered whether we'll ever have such experiences again.

Tomorrow I will take him on a day trip.  Saskatoon-Moose Jaw-Regina and return.

Community

A few days ago on Friday evening I met Lisa for dinner at Amigo's.

On Monday I met Alison and Julia for brunch.  That same evening I met Eric at Earl's for a beer.

And then tonight Sanjit arrived - all the way from Vancouver!  We walked across the Broadway bridge to the Yard and Flagon Pub for dinner.

Early next week I'll be going on a boat cruise along the Saskatchewan river with my new coworkers.

 

I'm finding it so difficult to get to know people nowadays.  Mom was right when she advised me years ago not to take friendships (and relationships) for granted.  I have her words etched in my mind: "As you get older it gets more and more difficult to meet people."  Prophetic words...

The increase in social interaction with others this past week has left me full of gratitude.  I know what it feels like to be alone and with very few options - sometimes none - to engage with others, and to have a week like this, full of stimulation, laughter, conversation, and food, cannot but bring hope into a barren situation.  I pray that it will continue this way.  Genesis 1 and 2 make more sense than ever before: we're not meant to be alone.  God made us social beings.  It's in relating to others that we become fully human.

But while I'm thankful for this past week of fellowship, I can't help also feeling slightly disconcerted at the continuing possibility (even probability) of social isolation, at least in the short term.  None of the people listed above know each other, and it's unlikely that they will even meet each other.  I just don't know enough people here to make genuine community possible.  And the real tragedy in this conversation about community is that the organism best equipped to foster true humanity, the church, is just so pathetic in actually achieving it.  What a cruel irony.  What disappointment.  I doubt there's a more inadequate and hopeless place for community than in the church.

 

In my life I can think of only two periods where I felt true community.  One was when I was a young 8-or-so year old boy, back in Paraguay, growing up with the likes of Uwe, Arnold, Claudio, Viola, Janine, and others.  I think that was possibly the only time in my life that I was truly human.

More recently, almost 30 years after my childhood experiences, my soccerino friends in Vancouver came close to giving me the same acceptance that I received as a young boy.  What made this group of souls so special was that we did the best we could not to judge one another; this, in an environment with a variety of worldviews and opinions.

In fact, part of the reason the last 2 years have been by far the most difficult years of my life is because of my inability to feel fully human as an integrated member of a community.  I lost the woman that I love, my best friend.  I moved away from the very community that affirmed my humanity.  I've exiled myself from a place and a people that I love.

I wonder if I will ever experience community to such an extent again.  I pray for it.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a Sinner.

A New Growing Season

Today after work I planted the following vegetables in my new (community) garden plot:

* corn

* carrots

* zucchini

There's a little space left for tomatoes and potatoes too; will plant them next week.

Catching Up

Alison and her daughter Julia drove up from MJ today for a visit.  Actually, they've come up here for the weekend.  They went to a concert tonight; tomorrow at around 11 or so in the morning we're going to meet up for brunch.

We were hoping to go for sushi this afternoon, but were disappointed to find out that the place I'd picked for us to go to was closed.  It's Sunday, I guess...  We ended up going for buffet at a chinese restaurant on 8th Ave East.  It was pretty good, it reminded me of The Great Wall in Broadway in Vancouver.

I'm finding that living in City Park is very convenient, as many interesting places are within walking distance.  The Broadway strip is about 20 minutes away, and there's an interesting coffee shop just south of the College Drive bridge too that is a nice and leasurely walk's distance.  And of course, downtown is full of interesting places - from buildings to shops to retaurants, even houses.

The 3 of us did do the City Park - Broadway walk.  Julia's outgoing personality amazed me.  There was a street performer along Broadway whom she just went up to and started talking to.  It came so natural to her, I couldn't help but feel envious - to have the ability to just go up and talk to a stranger without feeling the least bit self-conscious.  She mentioned afterwards that speaking to him didn't make her the least bit nervous.  Odd, I talk to strangers as part of my job every day, but yet, I still get nervous often as I approach people for conversation.  It must be grace that nobody notices how nervous I am...

A Good Sign

I noticed yesterday and today while at work that my new boss knew the name of every employee and resident we came across.  Every single one of them...

A refreshing change, coming from a place where people were often times identified according to their physical appearance or actions (good or bad):

"...the overweight nurse..."

"...the resident who's a hoarder..."

"...the guy who dropped off the flowers yesterday..."

"...the nurse with the funny walk..."

"...the pretty girl at the till..."

"...the care aid with brown hair..."

Names are important.  They form part of our identity.  You take away my name, you take away my identity.

Another Chance: At St. Ann's

Since accepting the new job here in Saskatoon, my general mood has been on the up: excited to leave a disheartening scenario, eager to prove my calling to love God and neighbour (especially the lest of these) in a long term care setting as authentic, looking forward to a bigger and wider social panorama in my new city, the prospect of owning a house with a garden I can call my own: these are all aspects of change that, while nerve racking and stressful, I nevertheless welcomed and looked forward to.  So when I arrived at St. Ann's this morning to start my new job, I was filled with optimism and hope: a new day, a new beginning, another chance.

This sense of optimism was bolstered when I walked through the front doors of my new workplace.  Smiling faces, handshakes, hellos and welcomes - it was as if I was arriving at a place where people had been waiting for me a long time already.  A strange and humbling feeling, to be sure.

My first day went as most first days go: introductions, tours of the facility, more introductions, paperwork, orientation, and so on.  In the coming days and weeks, as I adjust to this new living place, the new will become the usual, the unknown will slowly be learned and uncovered, and I will eventually come to a place of comfort that will enable me to be the welcoming face to strangers - residents and staff alike - here at St. Ann's.

That is my prayer: that God would bless this new start.  May God heal me from my brokenness, so that I can be an agent of healing in the lives of others also.  May God grant me the strength to start anew, so that I would be able to encourage others too to continue their life-battles.  May God give me the humility to accept other people's acts of hospitality and kindness, so that I know what it feels like to be helpless and alone.  May God bring friends into my life, so that I can be a friend to others also.

Lord, Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner!

Matching Styles And Colours

Below is the proposed combination of flooring, cabinets, countertops, and backsplash for my new house.  From left to right:

Tile: for front and back entrance; also in main floor and master bathroom

Floor: natural, real hardwood for entire min and upstairs floors

Cabinet (white): upper kitchen cabinets

Backsplash: glass, brick-shaped - to be placed behind kitchen sink and range

Countertop: white and black marble, for main cabinets

Countertop: brown and black, for kitchen island

Cabinet (dark brown): barely visible in the picture; for lower cabinets and island

Tile: for side entrance, laundry area, and 2nd bathroom upstairs

Offer Placed .. And Accepted

For the past two days I've been negotiating on the property I wrote about a few days ago.

I put in an offer yesterday morning.

By the evening we had a counter.  I was gutted by the counter.  I thought the game was over.  But my realtor put things in perspective and got to work on another offer.

This morning I put in a revised offer.

By mid-afternoon another counter came in.

Tonight, around dinner time, we revised the offer again and sent it in.

It was accepted.

Closing date is a week from tonight.

 

Possession date is June 27th.

I'm on a high: a new job, a new city, and now a new house.

My First Sunday

Today marked my first Sunday in Saskatoon.

In the morning I dropped my parents off at the airport.  They're now on their way back to Abbotsford.  Without their help I'd still be floundering in Moose Jaw.  While I'm excited to start anew in this city, moving here without their help would've just been overwhelming and somehow, demoralizing.

In the afternoon I slept.  A lot.

 

At 7pm I attended Mass at the Holy Spirit parish.  I will attend a Catholic church going forward.  The atmosphere - the music, the preaching - was surprisingly Evangelical.  I'm not sure I will make this my home parish though.  It's too big.

After Mass I met up with Eric at Earl's.  I've always liked the food there.  It's convenient to live 4 blocks away from one now...

It'll be nice to start off here knowing at least two people: Eric, and Francis, my mentor.

Coy Avenue House

Here's the house I've been looking at the past few weeks.

The property is a semi-detached house (duplex), in an established area of Saskatoon. 

1500+ square feet.  3 bedrooms.  Small back yard, with double garage.

One of the pluses is that it's early enough in the building process for me to make some customizations.  Earlier today I met with my realtor and the developer to discuss some of my wishes, and it seems that my requests have fallen on receptive ears.

I plan to put in an offer for the property early next week.

German Lunch

Today's highlight was a German meal, at the German Cultural Centre.

To drink - a nice dark ale.

To eat - vienna schnitzel, rotkohl, and roasted potatoes.

While waiting for our food, mom and I argued.  She questioned my decision not to pursue my last relatioship opportunity earlier this year.  She thinks it was an error in judgment on my part.

How would she know.  She'd never met her.

I don't recall receiving her support or encouragement in previous relationships.  This hurts.  Tremendously.

Moving In

Here are pictures of my new home in City Park.

Upon arrival in Saskatoon yesterday afternoon, I had some time to tour through Saskatoon with my family.  We drove around my neighbourhood, City Park, the downtown area, Broadway, and of course, my new workplace.

Afterwards I made a few phone calls, looking for a place for us all to stay.  Since I left things to the last minute, I did not find a bed and breakfast where the 3 of us could stay, so I booked my parents into a place while I stayed at another.

This morning, at 10am we met up and then proceeded to drive to my new apartment.  Below are a few picures from the move.  Overall I'm happy with my new place: it's central, bright, slightly more spacious than my previous place, and it has lots of character.  The rent is expensive though - $1025 per month, and that's without parking - and so I'm seriously considering buying a new place.  In fact, I have my eyes and heart already set on a place that I think will be perfect for me, but for now, the Parkview on 5th Ave will do.

Bedroom.

Window bay.

Living room.

 

Tired.

Dad and I talking theology.