A Day Trip With Daniela

Last night we started watching a movie together but she fell asleep.  I was mildly annoyed...

We planned to get up early this morning and go on a road trip, so when at 10 o'clock Daniela was still asleep and giving no sign of waking up, I got up, put on some clothes, and walked around town to take some pictures, mostly of the lake and the wharf.

When I got back to the house just after 11, Daniela was ready to go.  We went to the nearest coffee shop, got ourselves 2 capps, and off we went in our Jetta.

We drove one hour to Meldrum Bay, a sleepy little town that seemed to us at the end of the world.  There were no shops there - clearly it's a summer-only vacation spot - and no people either.  It's like the whole town was boarded up and empty for the winter.  Still, we took the opportunity to weather the cold - it was -15 - and I clearly wasn't dressed warm enough, as the picture below shows, but I wasn't going to let this opportunity go by without taking a few pictures outside, with the glorious surroundings.

The picture below is my favourite.  So cute, so warm...

On our way back we were starving, so we stopped by a greasy spoon restaurant.  We peaked inside, and the place was dripping with fat, so we continued, arriving back at our place by around 3:30pm.

I enjoy her company very much.  She's very intelligent, and very much a thinker.  But it seems to me there is some darkness hidden underneath that gorgeous smile, underneath those dark and lovely eyes...

What to do.  She teaches at a university.  I'm in the prairies.  Far away.  At times I feel like weeping.  How are we ever going to make this work?  When I first met her I told her romantically, "I'll move heaven and earth to be with you."  But, will I?  Now that I'm settled in the peaceful prairies with a job that I absolutely love?  Plus, didn't God call me to come here?  If I left now, am I not deserting the very people who brought me here?  Am I not letting them down?

Tomorrow we drive back to Sudbury.  Deep inside, I'm feeling a dread.  Not because she makes me feel this way - she does not - but because the thought of leaving her and flying back home terrifies me.

We worked hard for 3 months to make this meeting happen, and now that it's happened, I'm supposed to go back to my normal life...

Exploring Town

We slept in today.

Went for a walk around town, explored the small downtown core, discovered an art gallery by the lake, and went for a lengthy walk along the lake.

Came back for a late lunch, at Twin Bluffs, before going back for a lengthy nap.

In the evening we went to a very nice restaurant and, this being a fishing town, we ate lots of fish.  For dessert we had a toffee cheesecake.

Road Trip

Our schedule the past few days has been along the following lines:

breakfast and lunch together

Daniela goes to university late afternoon for her French class

afterwards, dinner together

Today was the same, except after her class ended, we drove 2 hours and checked ourselves into a B&B on Manitoulin Island.

We listened to Jesse Cook on the way down - Bogota by Bus - and ate sandwiches that I'd prepared for us: mini-baguettes, with provolone cheese, spinach, prosciutto, and cherry tomatoes.

We had a late check-in, everything worked to perfection.

I'm happy.

She Loved The Earrings

I made an excellent choice with these earrings.  Big score...

She looks incredibly lovely.  Particularly, the dark reds contrast with the light colour of her skin.

All Day Long

I got up early today and went to Daniela's place (I'm staying at a hotel) by 8:30am.  We spent all day together.

We cooked together: breakfast and dinner.  We skipped lunch.

Lots of good coffee.

She prepared a Romanian dish for dinner: stuffed green peppers and pork chops.  For dessert we had home made apple pie.

I feel tremendously blessed.

Finally

I finally met Daniela today.  This, after talking to her "virtually" everyday since meeting her in mid-October.  It was a very special moment.

I left Mexico City just after midnight, on a flight to Toronto.  From there I took another flight to Sudbury.  Upon arrival, I took a 45-minute taxi ride to the city, where I picked up my rental VW Jetta, before heading downtown to Daniela's place.  I arrived at her place near noon.  The temperature outside was around -20, but sunny.

Our embrace was long and full of warmth.  We spent much of our day becoming acquainted.  No more virtual.  There is no replacement to feeling the warmth of another person...

Dusk In Acapulco

Sundown's beautiful in Acapulco.  28C.  Perfect.

View

Morning:

Afternoon:

Dominic, Dominika, And Monica

Great tennis today.  All my faves won.

Thiem won again, he's in the quarters.

Dominika won too.  She's a fan fave - no surprise there.

Monica blew by Sara Errani.

After all the matches were over Ruth, Marty and I went to the fan area and hung out for a while.  Amazing weather - around 28C at midnight.  Can't be beat.

Settled In Acapulco

So we've made it here safely - and as the image shows, we won't be suffering the next few days...

Went to a Benetton store upon arrival, and I have to say I wasn't that impressed.  Maybe I'm (finally) outgrowing the UCB phase.  Some of my friends might be shocked.  Others proud.

Saw Dominic Thiem play today.  Que jugador, por Dios!  He will be a top 5 player within the next 2 years.  I will follow his progress over the next year...

I tend to think that women's tennis is more attractive these days than men's.  It seems more dynamic - except Serena who's just in a league on her own - where the game doesn't reply so much on strength and power, but also on touch, outlasting the opponent, and strategy.

But I think I'd still like to see one of "the big three" play - Djoker, Rafa, and Roger, in reverse order.  Andy Murray is someone I really like watching too.  He just fights and fights.

Tomorrow Dominica Cibulkova plays, as does Monica Puig.

Got The Earrings!

So I woke up thinking "Gotta get those earrings for her!"  So I did - went there as early as possible without seeming desperate to Ruth and Marty. ;)

They are truly so lovely.  I looked at over 100 different kinds of pairings, and this one was by far the perfect set.  My gosh, I'm so excited.

Fun, colourful, feminine, and classy.  The edges are silver.  And the package is cute also.  Not sure I can keep this secret from her till I see her in just over a week.

Pizza And Earrings

Been in Mexico for only a few hours and already enjoyed some fantastic company and food.

Spent the day with Ruth and Marty, relaxing at their apartment.  They are such good hosts, they know how to make someone feel at home, in their home.

Went for dinner at a pizza restaurant a 20 minute walk from their condo.

While walking around, taking in the atmosphere, we dropped by the artisan square where they have all kinds of kitsch for sale.  I found some amazing earrings for Daniela.  They're so lovely.  I didn't buy them because I want to think about it overnight - you know, sleep on it - but the more I think about it the more I'm convinced that they are THE right present for her.  I just hope they're still there tomorrow...

Tomorrow more of the same - relaxing at home.  Monday we take a bus to Acapulco.

Dr. Daniela

Today Daniela defended her PhD thesis successfully.  She's now Dr. Daniela.  One of the profs gave her grief about her conservative views on things, but she remained steadfast and stood her ground.  Good for her...

Below are pictures she sent me.

Off To Mexico...Tomorrow!

I can't wait until tomorrow: I'm flying south to Mexico to reconnect with Marty and Ruth.  Two days in Mexico City, then 6 in Acapulco, another day in Mexico City, and then back home to...uh....Sudbury.

I can't wait to meet up with Daniela.  I'm so excited.

Flowers

The flowers I sent her arrived right on time, yesterday morning.

Date With Coeur De Pirate

I finally got to see Coeur de Pirate.  Amazing.  What a talented musician.  And such a contagious smile and personality.  I wish she lived here, was a bit older, Christian, ink-less, and single.  I saw her perform on Valentine's Day - I wonder if that qualifies as a date...

My favourite songs were actually her newer ones: Crier tout bas, Undone, Oceans brawl, and Cast away.  The best one of all was Carry on.  It was her final song and she invited everyone to pack the isles and dance - and in prairie fashion, she didn't have to ask twice.  Of her old songs, the best one was Le long du large.

Ticket To Ride

Played again last night, with the "40s" group.  Loved it.  Nothing like playing a great board game in the dead of winter while it's -20 outside.

A Trip To The Hospital

Besides Daniela, one of the things that has given me much joy has been a board game meet up I discovered a few months ago.  We meet usually one a month, at a tea house in town.

Marco came along last night.  We played Carcassonne.

Anyways, last night, after having a great evening playing games, I had another one of those panic attacks that have plagued me the past month.  In fact, I was so affected that I could not go to sleep; my heart was pounding, I thought it was going to jump right out of my chest.

I actually ended up going to the hospital to get myself checked out.  I was so panicked, I thought they'd cut my chest open and do surgery or something.  I can't remember being so afraid of dying.  I was praying all the way to the hospital.

I don't know what's going on...

Flights Booked

So I booked my flights to Mexico: Saskatoon - Mexico City on Feb. 19, returning Feb. 29th.  This will be my 4th year in a row visiting Ruth and Marty in MX, and travelling down to Acapulco with them to watch some great tennis.

But this will be a first also: on my way back, I plan to visit Daniela in Sudbury.  I took the plunge and bought tickets to see her.  I know it's a risk, but I feel good and excited about it.

So on my way back, I will do a week-long stopover in Sudbury, until March 7th.  While there, we plan on doing a little side trip, maybe to Manitoulin Island.

Lord, give me the wisdom to make good decisions about relationships.  Amen.

That Same Panic...Again

I went skiing again with Michelle, and like last time, I had some kind of a panic attack where I had a hard time breathing.  I continued, but at a slower pace, and things seemed to be fine after that.  But I admit that terrifying thoughts about heart attacks are making their way into my mind when these attacks happen.

I've always considered myself to be comfortable with the idea of dying.  My faith in the afterlife instructs me to approach this topic with a sense of certainty, not in my worthiness of heaven, but in God's goodness.  But it's one thing to have a theological comfort about the afterlife, and quite a different to experience the vulnerability and fragility of life.

I've stopped swimming, in the meantime, probably as much because it's now cold enough to go skiing instead, as because I'm afraid of getting more panic attacks. 

7+ Hours

I thought our Christmas date was long.  That was 4+ hours.  But last night Daniela and I talked from around 9 until past 4am.  Happy New Year!

We talked about so many things: 

* our childhoods

* our backgrounds

* theology

* work

* french language

* disappointments

* vacationing

* weather

* spirituality

* post-colonianism (I'd never heard about this field of study until a month ago!)

We feel so close, and yet so far away...

New Year's Resolutions: fix my relationship with my family.  That has to be a priority.  Next year I have to be at home for Christmas.

Another Dinner Date...Online

I have another dinner date with Daniela tonight.  This time, to celebrate New Year's eve.

Another candlelight dinner.

Board Games In The Prairies

Earlier this Fall I discovered a group of people that get together about once a month to play board games.  I've been a few times, and we play some of my favourite games - Settlers, TTR, Carcassonne,  and Citadel.

We meet at a tea house, which is a bit of a downer, given the great atmosphere that coffee shops offer.  Trouble is, most coffee shops close early around here, 8pm.

Yesterday we played Carcassonne.  Friendly, unassuming people, mostly in my age group.  My guess is people who - like me - have a hard time fitting into the conventional categories of society: married with children.

Good group of people.  I'm thankful.

Panic - A Horrible Feeling

I went skiing today with Michelle.  We went to Wildwood Golf Course and skied for about 30 minutes - about 6 kms.  It felt great - I'm glad one of the first things I did when I moved to Saskatchewan was buying cross country skis!

I felt some chest pain while skiing though, and that concerns me.  I'm not sure where it comes from, but possibly swimming. Sometimes when I go swimming I feel a tremendous sense of panic and shortness of breath.  I try to push ahead and not give up when that happens, but it's a horrible feeling - like I'm drowning or something - when it happens.

I think I'm in worse shape physically than I thought.  I only swim 16 laps (about 500 metres) in total, but by the end I'm physically exhausted.  I don't consider myself a good swimmer, but 500 metres seems like so little.  Plus, it takes me 30+ minutes, 2 breaks included, to complete the swim.

Another thing that bothered me is the pace of my skiing.  I ski so slow.  Michelle is a good and steady skier, but she has skis that are like, 30 years old, and she seems to ski so effortlessly.  Her strides are so smooth, mine seem slow and laboured in comparison.

4+ Hours

I talked to Daniela for a super long time last night.  We started around 10pm, and didn't finish until after 2.

We actually had a dinner date.  We both cooked a meal, and ate it together: she in Sudbury, I in Saskatoon.  I prepared roasted vegetables and fish.

I lit a candle too.

We have so much to talk about.

Merry Christmas.

Alone At Christmas

It snowed today.  I'm glad to be here for Christmas...

I look forward to spending Christmas together with Daniela.  I just wish we lived in the city so we could enjoy each other's company...

I'm somewhat surprised at my indifference towards staying here and not going "home" to BC for Christmas.  Family is important, but family can also be the source of great stress, and at this point I feel that family contributes more alienation than belonging.

The source of this feeling of alienation that I have is definitely related to my feelings towards my mother.  It's hard to talk about it, it hurts.  How could I be so at odds with her?  How could thoughts about her generate so much heaviness of heart?

I don't feel respected.

Daniela

I sent Daniela the first note on October 16th.

Then Ms. Indian Head came in the picture.  Daniela seemed uninterested anyways.

Then I exited the Ms. Indian Head scene, and at about the same time, Daniela came back in.

Early December we started to talk on Skype.

And that has continued, every night, for the past few weeks.

We're planning to spend Christmas together.  And New Year's too.

I think of her all the time.

Photo

I figured out how to take a screen photo on my Mac, so yesterday while talking to Daniela I pressed the magic key-combo and took a picture.  Here's the result.  Gorgeous.

When she asked what that "Click" sound was, I said "I have no idea..."

Christmas Dinner With Coworkers

Same place as last year: Prairie Harvest Cafe.  Wonderful, I'm amazingly blessed to work with this group of fantastic people.  We have two new team members: Poonam and Jayci.  They just came to us within the last couple months, as Kirstin and Nicole moved away.

It feels like Christmas now.  Great food, great company, presents, laughter, and joy.  Thank you Lord for your continued presence in my life.  I bless and praise you forever!

Pirate Heart...Coming To Town!

Yesterday I spotted this sign:

Oh man, I'm SO looking forward to this concert.  She's going to blow off the roof with her gorgeous voice and piano playing.  I seriously cannot wait...

This is a coup for Saskatoon.

Visiting A Farm

I got to visit Deb and Dwight's farm today, an hour's drive south of Saskatoon.  Carla, Chris, Owen and I drove out there after work.

While there Dwight drove us around, showing us their property.  We were hoping to see some deer, but we only saw some from a distance.

We did see their livestock, horses (both, mini and tall).  The ones pictured below are mini.

It was the first time I was out in really cold weather this winter.  Winter's definitely here now...

After the tour Deb and Dwight fed us some hearty chilli.  Their household is busy, my goodness.  dogs everywhere, running around, chasing each other and anyone or anything else moving.  There were hedgehogs too, in one of the rooms.  The walls are busy too, every square inch covered in farming and ranching paraphernalia, pictures, and other kitsch.

But along with busyness comes life.  There was a rhythm present, a definite sense of life or of being alive. That was super refreshing.

Prairie hospitality is striking, noteworthy.

A Christmas Tradition

How I love Handel's Messiah!  It's truly a work that's stood the test of time, as I never get sick of it.  I listen to it for about two months a year: Advent, leading up to Christmas, and Lent, leading to Easter.

It's truly a treasure the church possesses.

I didn't take the picture below but it shows the context in which I enjoyed it tonight, at Knox United Church.

Sudbury

Last week I blogged about Indian Head, today I'm writing about Sudbury.  Even further away than Indian Head: 3 hours flight to Toronto, then another 1 hour flight, then another 45 minute drive.

But I think this time the motivations are good.  Well, at least better.

Of course, she's still online - how I detest the "online" thing, and yet, it seems to be the only way I can meet people nowadays - but I believe she's a great woman.

European.

Intelligent.

Quiet/thinker.

Younger.

Gorgeous.

Intriguing.

Soft.

Indian Head

A few weeks ago I met a beautiful woman online.  Christian.  But really messed up (I think); loves dogs more than people.

Anyways, I visited her 3 times in Indian Head.  3 hours' drive each time.

I'm attracted to her for all the wrong reasons.  It's obvious.

The things I do for women...

46

I turned 46 today.  My coworkers commemorated the event by presenting me with the t-shirt below.  I wore it proudly.  It reads "The older you get, the better you get - unless you're a banana."

Thanks Deb.

I look happy.  I feel happy.

So much of it has to do with St. Ann's.  My work mates are amazing.  The residents too.  I feel like won the lottery.

Thank you Lord - please continue to have mercy on me!  Amen.

Swimming

I started swimming on a regular basis a couple of months ago and I have to say that while it's a fantastic way to do exercise, I really hate it.  Other than the feeling of accomplishment that I get when my body's tired (and yet strangely energized) at the end of a session, there's very little about swimming that I like.

Most of the time the water temperature of public pools is too cold.

Swimming 50m, the length of the pool, seems like running a marathon.  I'm exhausted by the time I get to the end.  And that's just one length.  I still have to get back to my original starting point.  And then, do it another 14 times.

Every time I put my head underwater I feel like I'm going to drown.  Fifteen minutes into my routine I feel like my lungs are going to explode.

Anyways, all of this to say that when my 10-pack of tickets expires around Christmas time, I think I'm going to stop swimming.  Hopefully by then it'll be cold enough to go cross-country skiing.

Marco

Got a new roommate.  His name's Marco, he's a post-Doc from Italy.  Very smart, very likeable.

It's undeniable that having a housemate has been good for me.  It's made me come out of my shell and be more sociable.

Now, if only this sociable-ness would extend to women.  Not the ones on dating websites ... but the real ones, in flesh in blood...

Marco will work at a the UofS, at a newly formed food research centre.

Cajun

We're in a bit of a transition at work, as Nicole and Kirstin are leaving us.  Nicole's moving to Ontario with her partner, to take on a business there, while Kirstin's moving to BC, as her husband took on a job there.

Tonight was Nicole's going away.  She'd always wanted to try the local cajun restaurant, so she planned her going away dinner to be held here.

Oblate Vows

Today I made my noviciate vows to become a Benedictine Oblate.  This means that going forward, I'm to incorporate the values of ora et labora (prayer and work) into my daily life.  Lectio divina, or spiritual readings, is also part of my commitment to living the Christian life according to the Benedictine tradition.

This new commitment goes very well together with my previous gospel commitments of balance, change (continuous conversion), moderation, simplicity, and stability (commitment).  See this post for previous thoughts I had about becoming an Oblate

Looking back at the influence the Benedictines have had on me, it goes back quite a bit back.  Here's a post from almost 10 years ago that I wrote while working on an assignment at Regent.  It wasn't the beginning of my journey - that came probably 20 years ago when I visited Westminster Abbey in Mission for Easter Sunrise services - but still, it does give insight into the Benedictine way of life.

2015's turning out to be quite a significant year: joining the Catholic Church in April, and now becoming an Oblate.  God's name be praised, always!

Train Bridge

I went north of town today to reacquaint myself with my 40D camera.  I really enjoyed taking some pictures of the city from top of the bridge.

It was a clear and sunny day.  Chilly, but gorgeous.

Salsa

Made salsa today, from my own garden tomatoes.  It's a great feeling, planting, growing, harvesting, and then enjoying the fruits of your labour.

Nasser Gone

My good housemante couldn't find lasting employment here in Saskatoon, so he flew back to Tehran to spend time with his family before returning next spring to try getting an engineering job again.

It's been good to have a housemate.  I've learned to be more flexible, more open to change and divergent opinions.  And surprisingly, having another person around the house has lifted my spirits.  I don't feel so lonely anymore.  Therefore, I've decided that the best thing to do is to find another housemate.  Earlier this week I put up an ad on kijiji and craigslist.  We'll see how things go....

Harvesting My Garden

Below is a picture of what will likely be the last bit of harvesting of this summer's work:

I still have a few tomatoes left on the vine, but the cold may very well get the best of them.  The days are still warm and sunny, maybe 10-12C, but the nights are a different story...

I've had to cover the garden with tarps for a few weeks now, as the nights are getting to nippy.  My zucchini plant is still going too, but not much is growing.  In fact, the leaves are getting mouldy from the cold.

My New Guitar

I look happy don't I!  It's because of my new guitar!  It's a Yamaha CPX 500 III, shaped like a "concert" guitar.

I have no ambitions of becoming the next Slash, Jesse Cook or Paco de Lucia. I do want to learn how to play some basic chords and accompany hymn singing, maybe at work.  Down the road, if I like playing enough, I may buy a classical guitar and take flamenco lessons.

But for now, I'd be happy to learn the C, D, F, and G chords!