That Same Panic...Again

I went skiing again with Michelle, and like last time, I had some kind of a panic attack where I had a hard time breathing.  I continued, but at a slower pace, and things seemed to be fine after that.  But I admit that terrifying thoughts about heart attacks are making their way into my mind when these attacks happen.

I've always considered myself to be comfortable with the idea of dying.  My faith in the afterlife instructs me to approach this topic with a sense of certainty, not in my worthiness of heaven, but in God's goodness.  But it's one thing to have a theological comfort about the afterlife, and quite a different to experience the vulnerability and fragility of life.

I've stopped swimming, in the meantime, probably as much because it's now cold enough to go skiing instead, as because I'm afraid of getting more panic attacks.