Monday, September 14, 2009

Slow Like A Turtle...

I'm moving forward. At least I think I am.

Over the past month I've been meeting with the Pastors at church, seeking advice, seeking their wisdom. The blessing I'm seeking from them is for a way forward: a way to continue walking into the mystery of vocational calling. And truly, my experience, has been that vocational calling is a mystery that unfolds little by little, rather than all at once. But then, that's just my experience.

My first meeting was with Jim, over lunch at Al Watan, on August 14. We used to speak more often, back in the Regent days, so for the first 30 minutes or so of our conversation was more or less catching each other up on the going ons of our lives. But afterwards we got down to business, and we were able to speak meaningfully about vocations. We had too much ground to cover, however, so we decided to reconvene a few weeks later. Here are, in summary, the points I took away from our meeting:
* I mentioned to Jim that I feel called to gospel-work in the church, including, and perhaps especially, ordained ministry.
* By conviction, I feel more Eastern Orthodox or Roman Catholic than Anglican, but for entirely practical reasons I've decided to stay within Anglicanism. For me, making a vocational decision based on practicality seems entirely wrong-headed, but what can I do?
* In light of the above, Jim challenged me to read over the 39 Articles of Religion in the Book of Common Prayer and see if I can submit to those. If I can, the Anglican Church is still the right place for me.
* I also made clear that I am definitely a sacramentalist, and as such I have a strong preference to work within a high church context. However, I am still committed to the evangelical cause. In short, I wish to proclaim the "one, holy, catholic, apostolic" faith, within a sacramentalist framework.

On August 31, I met with Dan. I shared with him my conviction that I believe I'm called to do ministry in the church. I presented 3 potential avenues to pursue, and asked for his feedback. Option #1: ordained ministry within the Anglican Church of Canada (ACC); option #2: hospitality work in Cairo, Egypt, as a guest house manager, with a possibility of teaching and/or ministry training alongside, with the goal of eventual ordination as priest; option #3: openness to whatever suggestions he or other clergy at church consider appropriate. His response was essentially as follows:
* ACC (option #1): good opportunity, although pursuing this option would likely entail living in a small town in northern Canada for a good 5 years, and as a single man, this might be difficult for me. Loneliness may be a real issue. However, there are positive factors to this option, including: high sense of community in small towns, high church context, and small congregation.
* Egypt (option #2): this is also a good option, especially given my previous interest in Islam. However, the road to ordination seems quite indirect, via hospitality work, and also, am I prepared to live in the Middle East for the rest of my life?
* Regarding option #3, Dan did not make any additional suggestions. However, he did express full support for either of the first two options. He and the church would stand behind me on both options.

On September 1 I met again with Jim. This time we got right to the point. I mentioned to him the 3 options listed above; here's how he responded.
* He explained the differences between a bishop, a priest, and a deacon. A bishop protects, guards. A priest proclaims, preaches. A deacon administers help to the "widows" (Acts 6:1) within the church.
* Jim felt - quite strongly - that I belong to the deacon category. Therefore, he had a firm preference for option #2, Egypt.
* In addition to my gifts as a deacon, Jim also felt that I have the cultural background to move to Egypt. As a Paraguayan-German-Canadian, I'm already a citizen of the world...

And finally, today, I met with Dave. This was a long-awaited meeting, and it's a meeting that went over well, much better than I expected, actually. I mentioned to him the same options, and here are a few things that emerged.
* Vocations within the church (maybe also outside?) are along the following three lines: prophetic, priestly, and kingly. Jesus fulfilled these three, and we do too, although obviously not anywhere to the degree that he did. The king is an administrator, the prophet is a preacher, and the priest is a lover of souls. He did not indicate or suggest which category I belong to. I place myself within the priestly category.
* The main gist of his wisdom can be summarized in a question: Options #1 or #2 are fine, but in terms of option #3, why not add Paraguay to the list? Gulp....
* David decided that he will contact bishop Harvey, who knows, maybe he knows the bishop of Asuncion. Maybe there's a possibility to pursue there. He may also have other suggestions that David does not have access to.

Yikes. Before beginning this process of interviewing clergy at my church, I decided to submit myself to their counsel. What have I done!!!!!?????!!!!!????

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