The Heavens Declared..

...(yet again) the glory of the Lord yesterday. Here's proof:

Delight And Despair

I am full of both, delight and despair.

I just found out a few minutes ago (it's 6am right now) that classes are cancelled. This, after having worked all (I'm tempted to insert swearword here) night on the sermon for today. UBC and Regent are both without power, because of the snowstorm.

I'm trying to discern how to react to the school closure: do I laugh or do I cry? Maybe both? If I laugh, is it because of joy or because of delirious disappointment? If I cry, would I shed tears of happiness or tears of anger?

The answer is "Yes!"

On the one hand, I'm delighted, because first of all, I'm bloody tired of working on this stupid sermon, and I desperately need a break. I can now go to sleep - and do so in peace - knowing that I worked hard throughout the weekend. I can also rejoice at the knowledge that when I wake up, I can put on some warm clothes and go out for a walk in the snow. I love the snow.

On the other hand, I'm despairing, because I know that had I preached this morning, it would have been an utter failure, an utter nightmare. After all the work I've done, I have - at best - a couple nice quotes, and a couple interesting tidbits. I still have no idea what I'm trying to say, and I still have absolutely no idea how to apply this passage (I. Cor 9) to the church without sounding absolutely self-righteous.

God, help me! Lord, have mercy!

This proves that, yet again, I'm full of pride, full of myself. I care too much about what others think about me. I'm more concerned about coming across as "reasonable" than preaching the word of God. (How Canadian!!!).

Well, I'm going to bed. I have a feeling this class will be rescheduled around the mid-December timeframe. I'll take a few days' break from it all, and then re-engage mid-week.

Next Sunday I'm preaching at church. That sermon's done, ready to go. I just need to practise it a few times.

I'm Tired Of This

I feel like cracking my head open against the wall.

I've put over 50 hours of work into sermon prep .. and I'm getting NOWHERE.

I can't think. I can't write. I can't stand it.

Lord have mercy!

Christ have mercy!

Lord have mercy!

How Cruel!

Of all the days that it could have snowed, it snowed today! How cruel!

I'm preparing a sermon God, why'd you have to let it snow today!

Like there aren't already enough other temptations keeping me away from preparing, now I have to deal with snow too!!!

Everytime I look out the window I'm distracted by the white stuff gently filling the air.

Woe is me...!!!

Sermon Prep

This Monday I'm preaching on I. Corinthians 9:1-14. I've exegeted this passage until kingdom come .. and think I know what it says .. but now comes the hard work of putting it together into a sermon.

I think I'm becoming more and more a fan of short homilies, rather than long sermons. For one, they're less work :D, but also, I think one should be able to say everything there's to say about a passage in 10 minutes.

I rarely listen to a sermon unhindered for 20 minutes. There's usually a 5-minute "gap" in there somewhere, where I'm interrupted by thining about something else: the school projects I'm working on (or have yet to work on), the soccer game I heard about, the hottie sitting in front of me (shame on her for wearing spaghetti straps to church), the phonecall I have to make, the guy with the mop on his head, the bulletin announcements, the weather, and on the list goes....

Here's to 10-minute homilies!

Interview

Today in the evening service I was interviewed about my internship experience at my church. For the first time in a long time I didn't feel nervous speaking in public. I think I actually did very well.

I think this is because I have to speak a fair bit in my preaching class. We'll see how my next sermon goes on the 27th....

37

Yep .. I'm 37 now.

Spent the afternoon and evening at my parent's place. Had a good time eating a very good dinner prepared by mom, and afterwards we sat around in the family room and conversed.

I also had the usual argument I have with mom about me not wanting any presents and her getting me more than I need. Can't wait until Christmas: we get to argue about this all over again.

I'm concerned for my newphew Ralph. He's such a kind soul, yet he feels utterly unloved.

I'm also concerned about my niece Tanis. I think she feels neglected too, and she misses her friends from South America.

Moderne Burger

Yesterday Alicia called me and invited to take me out for dinner, in "honour of your birthday". Well, today we did it.

She came over mid-afternoon, and we studied for awhile before heading out to Moderne Burger (W. Brodway almost MacDonald) for a burger and fries around 7pm.

I don't know. Lately I haven't enjoyed my time with her. She's so cynical .. even angry .. seems to me that studies and real life are jading her. But then I keep thinking .. I was there once too: I've certainly had my moments of cynicism, and I'm sure I'll have them again. It just seems that she's always in a bad mood.

Mind you, now that I think of it, my friend Cindy's always in a bad mood too.

In fact, I don't think I'm being accurate by saying "bad mood". They're downright bitter, angry, resentful, and depressed. And my gosh .. do they EVER complain. If it's not the weather, it's their studies .. or their friends .. or their profs .. or their work boss .. or their churches .. or .. whatever. It's unreal.

Is this a woman-thing? Because none of my guy-friends are this way. They "suck it up" and move on. No use blaming the world for our problems.

Gimme The Bombilla!

Today I had mate for the first time in almost a month. My throat's still raspy though.

It was good to see James and Stefan. We've become quite good friends this semester. Too bad Stefan's leaving at the end of the semester .. going back to Paraguay.

Good people keep coming into my life .. only to walk out a few years later.

Sometimes being a pilgrim sucks.

The Well Is Dry

In reference to this post, I finally met her again today, after wondering how our second encounter would pan out. The encounter was short. Here's how it went:

Cub: (Sees woman at the well, and walks towards her): Hi, how are you!
Woman at the Well (WAW): Oh hi Cub, I'm well, thank you. And you?
Cub: I'm well too, thanks.
WAW: How was your weekend?
Cub: It was good. I spent most of it studying. Yesterday I went to church, and afterwards I spent some time with my brother and sister-in-law.
WAW: Oh that's great!
Cub: What about you WAW, how was your weekend? What did you do?
WAW: Oh my weekend was busy too. I went house-shopping with my fiancee...

As she continues talking about her weekend, Cub looks at her fingers and notices that she's NOT wearing an engagement ring (how could I've known she's engaged? What a waste of energy thinking about her the past few weeks). She talks for about 2 minutes about how expensive houses are in Vancouver. After she finishes talking, Cub continues...

Cub: Oh wow, I didn't know you're looking for a ... house.

Cub then talks for a few minutes about, you know, useless stuff like "housing markets", "housing prices", "renting vs buying", and "buying an apartment vs a house" .. and all the other crap that goes along with this type of conversation.

As one of my professors would probably say: "Onward and upward we go." Of course, he usually says it in relation to spiritual-life battles, but I will use it here in a different way:

So, onward and upward I go .. she wasn't that hot anyways ....

No Birthday Party

I've decided not to have a birthday party this year (again). I'm just too busy with my studies, and having one party with friends and another with family is just too much. It will take up the whole weekend, plus all the planning and all the cleanup.

Instead, I'm going to have two parties in December. :D One party will be a "Christmas for the family-less" - for those friends of mine in Vancouver who don't have a family here, and a "New Year's" party, like I did last year. That should suffice....

Who is Jesus To Me?

Who is Jesus to me?

Jesus is the Word made flesh.

Jesus is the Bread of Life.

Jesus is the Victim offered for our sins on the cross.

Jesus is the sacrifice offered at holy Mass for the sins of the world and for mine.

Jesus is the Word to be spoken.

Jesus is the truth to be told.

Jesus is the way to be walked.

Jesus is the light to be lit.

Jesus is the life to be lived.

Jesus is the love to be loved.

Jesu sis the joy to be shared.

Jesus is the peace to be given.

Jesus is the hungry to be fed.

Jesus is the thirsty to be satiated.

Jesus is the naked to be clothed.

Jesus is the homeless to be taken in.

Jesus is the sick to be healed.

Jesus is the lonely to be loved.

Jesus is the unwanted to be wanted.

Jesus is the leper to wash His wounds.

Jesus is the beggar to give Him a smile.

Jesus is the drunkard to listen to Him.

Jesus is the mentally ill to protect Him.

Jesus is the little one to embrace Him.

Jesus is the blind to lead Him.

Jesus is the dumb to speak for Him.

Jesus is the crippled to walk with Him.

Jesus is the drug addict to befriend Him.

Jesus is the prostitute to remove from danger and befriend Her.

Jesus is the prisoner to be visited.

Jesus is the old to be served.

To me: Jesus is my God.

Jesus is my spouse.

Jesus is my life.

Jesus is my only love.

Jesus is my all in all.

Jesus is my everything.

JESUS, I love with my whole heart, with my whole being. I have given Him all, even my sins, and He has espoused me to Himself in all tenderness and love.

_____

A Poem by Mother Teresa.

Source: No Greater Love, by Mother Teresa. New World Library, Novato, California, 2001. (Originally published as The Mother Teresa Reader, A Life For God, Servant Publications, 1995).

Rain, Books And Omelettes

Did it ever rain today .. my gosh. Well, we had great weather throughout September and October. It was bound to start raining...

Today at 10am I went to a bookstore and bought myself a book by Mother Teresa: No Greater Love. I've always wanted to read something written by her, so I look foward to finally doing it.

At 11am I met up with Alicia. We went for brunch at Paul's Place on Granville & 7th: great omelettes, but I didn't try their coffee. Everytime I do I end up disappointed..

Afterwards we went to my place and studied.

At 2pm I left for Abbotsford to meet with family. Alicia stayed at my place to study.

I returned home at midnight.

7 Reasons To Be Anglican

Today at lunch Dr. J. I. Packer gave a talk about why he's a "cradle to grave" Anglican. He was born into the Anglican tradition, and today he shared why he remained in it, and why he plans to always remain in it. Here are the 7 reasons he spoke about (I noticed that he wrote about them in a previous article, so to help me summarize them I quoted a few lines from the article. In brackets, I put my own reaction / opinion / response to his "stance"):

Anglicanism "as a fact", is:

1 - Catholic: a Christianity that neither adds nor subtracts from Christ; maintaining all of Christ's Christianity and teaching it - no "distortion or diminution." (Amen! The goal of catholicity [universality] - to believe that which all Christians, in all places, and at all times have agreed upon - is a good goal indeed, and it has been a blessing to me as I've grown in my faith. It is a travesty that the church of the West has deviated from it. Lord, have mercy on us!)

2 - Biblical: Scripture is authoritative, sufficient unto salvation, the standard/rule of faith and life, and internally consistent. "The Lord's people should soak themselves in Scripture as the means to their spiritual health". (Amen! A question that remains for me is: if tradition is defined as the "the Holy Spirit in history," what role does it have in nurturing spiritual health?)

3 - Evangelical/Pastoral: Ongoing evangelism, rather than "big tent" evangelism. This implies "week by week" preaching of the good news, rather than a "spasm," in which there are a few days of very intense evangelistic efforts and then a slacking off. (Agreed. Conversion is therefore a life-long process and the confession of "Jesus as Lord/Saviour" is one step within that process).

4 - Liturgical: We ought to agree in advance on the words we are going to use in worship. This, in order to speak to God more "reverently, pointedly, unanimously, and economically". Furthermore, worship and prayer centres around the following: sin detected, grace poclaimed, faith expressed (thanksgiving and living it out). Of course, full freedom in private prayer (and some aspects of common-life) is the norm. (Amen - this has been a key aspect in my journey towards Anglicanism. At every service, visitors will hear the gospel preached through 5 different means: in the singing, in the liturgy, in the reading of Scripture, in the sermon, and in the Eucharist).

5 - Rational: Any and all questions can be raised, with full respect to the questioner. This respects the image of God in all people. "We do not use the big stick.." Rather, in faith and hope, through the discipline of debate and discussion, we trust that "God in his mercy brings us to a common mind." (Amen! It seems to me that this is the good and proper reponse to denominationalism. We ought to be able to ask one another tough questions, without parting ways in the process. Truth always vindicates itself. Light always exposes and overcomes the dark).

6 - Episcopal: The historic episcopate rightly serves to make churchly continuity visible. The role of the bishop is the same as the role of the minister, and it is two-fold: to provide pastoral care, and to guard the truth. Therefore, just as ministers shepherd their parish, the bishop shepherds his ministers. And just as the minister guards his people from lies, so too the bishop ensures that his ministers are living and speaking in truth. (I'm on board here too. However, the current state of affairs in the Canadian, American, and the Church of England is nothing short of tragic. Bishops have become "maintainers of structures", and that at the cost of orthodoxy and unity in the gospel. Schism now seems virtually inevitable).

7 - National: The aim of the people of God is to look at their culture and affirm that which already 'aims heavenward', and help re-direct that which does not. Full participation, therefore, in all facets of society, is of paramount importance. The aim, finally, is to Chrsitianize the culture: infuse it with love, righteousness, grace, and forgiveness. (This is a tough one, becaue it clashes with my ana-baptist roots. I agree with affirming everything in culture that evidences God's grace at work [economics, politics, and the arts, for example], and I also agree with re-directing the grace-less towards grace, but I have reservations about how this is achieved, and to what extent. One example [among many] of my concerns is regarding the issue of pacifism. What would involvement in culture look like alongside a pacifist stance?)

8 - Reformational: This is a 'bonus' point, because it wasn't included in today's talk. It is, however, included in the article. The central theological points are "sovereign grace, original sin, justificatoin by faith and power of faith, whcih brings repentance out of the heart and transforms the life". The church, on the other hand, is conceived of as a "fellowsihp of believers out of whose common life comes the structure of ministers." Out of this structure come the sacraments of Baptism and Eucharist. (I agree theologically, but ecclesiastically I'm not yet fully on board. I think the Catholic Church is on sounder footing).

So, those are Packer's reasons for being Anglican, and my brief responses. I agree wholeheartedly with the catholic, bibilical, evangelical/pastoral, liturgical, rational, and episcopal aspects. In terms of being national, I agree, but with reservations (and many questions!). With regards to being reformational, I agree theologically, but not ecclesiastically.

Las Margaritas

Steak fajitas: mmmmmmmm!

I went for dinner tonight at Las Margaritas with my church Bible Study group. I had a great time I must say. I've been leading this group since February, and I've found that leading a small group is not easy. The reason is, quite simply, because people are broken vessels, and it's hard to mend broken vessels.

In Canadian culture it's hard to get to know people .. they'd rather just talk about fluffy, shallow stuff, because genuine relationships require effort. On the one hand, they require making oneself vulnerable (What? I have to share that with them?) On the other hand, genuine relationships involve entering into other people's vulnerability (What? You're struggling with that?)

At the end of the summer I was really quite discouraged about our group. Attendance was pathetic, morale was low, and people seemed generally disinterested, indifferent.

In the past 5 weeks, however, a few new people have joined our group, all of whom are committed to not only "physical presence", but "total presence". They don't mind sharing their weaknesses with others, and from what I can gather, they're willing to "bear" other's burdens too.

All this to say that we had a great evening tonight, eating Mexian food to our heart's content. I look forward to sharing more of life with them. Next Tuesday we're getting together to study Isaiah 5: "A Song of Injustice".

PS - the sangria was really good too...