A few days ago I talked about pressure I'm getting from her. Today, I'm feeling relentless pressure from my boss.
It's crazy. I came here in February, sensing God's calling for internal and external reasons:
* internal - answer to prayer on the Camino de Santiago, a sense of vocational direction
* external - seeking to move on from a relationship gone awry; breathing fresh (non-Vancouver) air; affirmation by family and peers
Now, 9 months later, I'm wondering whether I made the right decision. A few weeks ago, on November 21st, I had an excruciatingly difficult day at work. I was in a meeting with a number of people in the room, and I felt like I was going to explode.
A short 3 months ago I passed my probationary review with "flying colours", as they say, and now, I find myself wondering whether I'll be on my way out soon, looking for work.
The past few days I looked in the Vancouver job market to see how things are there. They're actually quite good, compared to a year ago. What a massive disappointment going back to Vancouver would be; not really because I dislike that city so much, but more because I thought I was following divine guidance in moving here.
Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have mercy on me, a sinner!
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