I sometimes dread going to family events, not because I hate them - I actually love them - but because I get hurt at them. That proved to be true Christmas Day this year, when I told my parents that it's becoming more and more difficult, even inescapable, to avoid my calling towards ordination in the Anglican Church.
My mother's response was something like this: "Oh, now we have that to add to our list of worries." I told her she should be rejoicing, but that didn't happen.
I know where that comes from. On the surface it's a dislike for the Anglican Church, but digging deeper, it's fear, and a lack of humility: fear of the unfamiliar and unknown, and pride of of self, and having all the answers.
While this was a hurtful statement, I've come to realize that if this is the way it's going to be, then so be it. I'm finally coming to grips with my identity as a child of God's. I'm becoming "truly human", as some Christian theologians would say. It's about time. I value and love my parents, and I always will. But nothing, neither their affirmations nor their objections, neither their approvals nor their rejections, can separate me from the love of God. For this, I'm thankful.
The challenge, it seems to me, if I indeed go down this road, will be not to harbour anger and resentment towards them. That will only happen by the grace of God. This challenge will need to be addressed daily in my prayers, in my confessions. God will need to bestow additional doses of grace and mercy upon me. I have full confidence that He will do it, as He always does. He is, after all, the author of my calling.
My mother's response was something like this: "Oh, now we have that to add to our list of worries." I told her she should be rejoicing, but that didn't happen.
I know where that comes from. On the surface it's a dislike for the Anglican Church, but digging deeper, it's fear, and a lack of humility: fear of the unfamiliar and unknown, and pride of of self, and having all the answers.
While this was a hurtful statement, I've come to realize that if this is the way it's going to be, then so be it. I'm finally coming to grips with my identity as a child of God's. I'm becoming "truly human", as some Christian theologians would say. It's about time. I value and love my parents, and I always will. But nothing, neither their affirmations nor their objections, neither their approvals nor their rejections, can separate me from the love of God. For this, I'm thankful.
The challenge, it seems to me, if I indeed go down this road, will be not to harbour anger and resentment towards them. That will only happen by the grace of God. This challenge will need to be addressed daily in my prayers, in my confessions. God will need to bestow additional doses of grace and mercy upon me. I have full confidence that He will do it, as He always does. He is, after all, the author of my calling.
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