Well, it's over. What a relief. I preached at 7:30 this morning.
I got up at 5am, and rehearsed my sermon a few times before going to church. I arrived there at 7:15. To my surprise, Neil, the person leading the service had not arrived yet. He arrived at about 7:24, 6 minutes before the service started.
Arriving just in time for the service may suit him fine, but it made things miserable for me. I needed help in finding the right size cassock and surplice, and given the time, we didn't have the time to look, so he just gave me a surplice and said "Here, wear this, this will fit ya." I put it on and said "This seems a bit big." His response, "Nah, you look fine."
We prayed, and out we went. Problem is, on our way out, one of the ladies that helps with the service said "Cub, that's too big for you." Neil turned to her and said "Ah he's fine. It's too late to change now." Inside I felt like cursing (actually, I did). I felt like an idiot, and the service hadn't even started yet. The time was 7:31.
Anyways, onto the sermon. After we recited the Apostles' Creed, I walked up to the pulpit, feeling totally self-conscious. 'Do I look like a woman in this dress?' I thought. I replied to myself: 'Maybe this dress makes me look more like an angel than a woman. That would be good, very good.'
Once I arrived at the pulpit I looked up to the crowd. No one was laughing. Good. Apparently the surplice wasn't SO big that everyone noticed I was swimming in it.
I began with the introduction I'd prepared, reading my script (I'd memorized much of what I was going to talk about, but I thought it wise to make a manuscript and take it up to the pulpit). Halfway into my second sentence, I realized that the congregation was still standing.
'WHAT? Why the he*%$* are they still standing?', I though to myself. Good thing no panic button was available, because had there been one, I'd surely have pressed it. But deep inside, about 1000 panic buttons were going off.
I mumbled my way out of the script, and began praying. Someone told me afterwards that I raced through the prayer like a racehorse.
After the prayer, I focused on the task at hand: Genesis 6:9-9:29. The sermon was on God's character in the story of the flood. God's character is trustworthy on account of his righteousness, graciousness, and faithfulness. Nevermind Noah and the flood. I was wishing God would send another flood to put us all out of our mysery....
The rest of the sermon, however, went very well. Praise God!
After the sermon a middle-aged woman came up to me and said "Hi Cub, my name is something-something, and I usually give feedback to the interns that preach here. May I give you some feedback on your sermon?"
I cringed. Do I say yes or no? I said yes.
She continued: "Your sermon was great [Cub smiles with suspicion]. The content was great [Cub senses a "but.." coming up], I was able to follow you all the way, the structure and logic made perfect sense. You're a very organized thinker, good job. BUT .." she said, "two things":
"1- I didn't understand your cross-reference to the gospel of Luke. [Ouch]. You didn't need to refer to the New Testament to argue for God's trustworthy character. You were doing just fine; and
2- What happened at the beginning? You had 'I'm very very nervous' written all across your forehead. Was evertything ok?", she asked.
I said yes, everything's ok. I thought about getting into the surplice story with her, but decided to spare Neil the embarrassement.
A few of my friends also came to hear me, which I was very greatful for. It meant a lot to have some familiar faces smiling at me while I was preaching. One of them, Loretta, said afterwards: "Great sermon Cub. Where did you buy that dress?" Nice one. Thank you. Glad you enjoyed it.
Another one, Kira, took this picture:
I think the worst is over. Now that I've done it once, the next time I preach [that is, if I get asked to preach again] it won't be such a huge ordeal. For next time though, I'll see if I can get a better outfit. ;)
