What To Say

Earlier this year I was asked to speak on the topic of Medical Assistance in Dying (MAID, aka Physician Assisted Suicide) at a church.  I did my best to prepare for the occasion, and actually, I over prepared - pages and pages of notes, quotes of important people, theories of personhood, stories of personal experience, and so on - only to change my mind completely on the way to the church and just speaking off-the-cuff.

Afterwards, a bunch of people came up to me and told me I did a great job.  One woman even asked if I could come and speak at a conference she and her group are organizing.  I took that day, and particularly the dropping of the script, as divine intervention.  God gave me the right words to use for the occasion.

Last month I got a call from a gentleman in charge of training deacons in the Regina diocese, and he asked if I would come and talk to his group about not only MAID but giving Spiritual Care to the elderly in general.  I hesitated but agreed.

Yesterday was "that day", the day I drove down to Regina and gave the presentation.  And unlike last time, this time I received no divine inspiration in the car.  It was a 3 hour session, and while overall I think things went well, I keep coming to the same conclusions: I'm not a good public speaker.

I don't know how to prioritize themes during preparation.  I don't know how to estimate the time it takes to cover a topic.  I'm terrified of blank looks, "dead air", irrelevant musings, hobby horses, and a dozen other issues that play with my mind before, during, and after giving a talk.  Like earlier this year, people came up to me afterwards and said "Great job".  But I'm never convinced they mean it.  I keep thinking they're just being polite.

I spend the night in Regina, and today had the opportunity to walk around Wascana Lake and park myself at a coffee shop to do some writing.  It was a beautiful day.