That Gut-Wrenching Feeling

After spending the last 9 days in Vancouver, I flew back to Saskatoon today.

And I got the feeling that I always get just before leaving the west coast and returning to the prairies, gut-wrenching anxiety, even anguish.  I imagine it's because of a whole range of feelings that race through my head:

the feeling of leaving something behind

nostalgia - a flooding of past memories

departing the adventurous and returning to daily routines

unresolved conflicts with family and friends

loneliness - the sense of having to experience something on one's own

C S Lewis once said something along the lines of 'there must be another world, because we all have unfulfilled longings that we intuit only another world could satisfy; in fact, we were made for this other world.'

I wonder whether the feelings of anguish I feel has to do with this sense of longing.  The loneliness I feel when leaving one place for another is perhaps not so much because I am going through it "on my own", but because of a deep knowledge that whether I stay here or go elsewhere, or whether I go through this process alone or with someone else, there are needs, deep needs, that will be unresolved no matter what.

The good thing in all of this is that it only takes 2 days for me to "get over" the feeling of despair.  Once I'm back at home, I get busy, reimmersing myself in daily life, work, reconnecting with people, friends, and coworkers, "forgetting" about the feelings I had at the end of my trip.

Heavenly Father, thank you for this trip to the west coast.  Thank you for reminding me that though we feel lonely at times, you are always with us.  Amen.