Today I attended a wedding with Jennifer, as one of her friends got married.
I didn't really want to go, actually, as Paraguay also played against Brasil for the eliminatorias for the World Cup 2010, and I'd rather have spent the entire day just enjoying the atmosphere that such an important game brings with it. But that was never going to happen, as I'd known about this wedding for weeks in advance. And in fairness, the wedding was quite nice.
I was able to watch the game in full, because it was played in the afternoon and fit in perfectly between the ceremony (morning) and reception (evening). Paraguay lost 2-1. We're in qualifying trouble now. Having had the lead for over a year, we're now in 3rd place (24 points), behind Brasil (27) and Chile (26), and in front of Argentina (22). The problem is that Ecuador (20) is now also in the hunt for a qualifying spot. And to think that at one point, only 4 months ago, we were in 1st place, 6 points ahead of 2nd place Brasil. Oh how things have changed......
Anyways, the point of today's journal entry was not fútbol. It's about the wedding I attended with Jennifer. And there's really only one point to be made: I'm finding it increasingly difficult to take us - Jennifer and I - seriously. I'm finding it more and more difficult to see us getting married and having a stable married life, for the simple reason that she and I speak different languages, when it comes to our view of the world. We have no foundation upon which to build our lives.
We speak different faith languages. She believes only in the seen: that which cannot be seen is not worth believing in. She believes in herself, she belivieves in the whims of the day. Therefore, God is not a part of her language. I cannot go along with that. To me, that seems foreign to what it means to be truly human. Believing in only that which can be seen eliminates not only God, but all the characteristics that flow from him: grace, mercy, compassion, justice, forgiveness, beauty, and most of all, faith, hope, and love! None of these things are "tangible" in a way that science demands, and yet, a world without any of these seems empty and meaningless at best, and tyrannical at worst.
Of course, Jesus Christ makes all of these qualities "tangible" in a way that no one and nothing else can. But that road, it seems, is not a road that Jennifer is willing to explore in any serious way.
And my vocational question does not make the matters any easier. In fact, it complicates them. I feel more and more compelled to work in the church "militant here on earth", as the Book of Common Prayer says it so appropriately. I cannot imagine preaching the gospel, while sleeping with the person that does not share my conviction and love for God. Not only does she not share my convictions, she despises that which I love. She hates matters of faith. And she espeically hates all things Christian. "It's irrelevant to my life", is her sentiment, "It's divisive." All this talk can't help but remind me of the title of a movie released 18 years ago: to marry her means that I would be "Sleeping with the Enemy."
To marry her would defeat the whole point of Christian marriage. Christian marriage points beyond itself, beyond the man and woman making the covenant, towards God tying the knot with humanity, and to Christ and the Church. That's why marriage is a sacrament: it points beyond itself to a much greater reality. At the core of human marraige is self-sacrificial love. Without this quality, marriage cannot last. The reason the world exists, is because of God's self-sacrificial love for humanity (exemplified in Israel in the OT); the reason we are still here is because of Christ's self-sacrificial love for the Church. He died for her, and in the process he tied her to himself in a bond that cannot be broken, no matter how faithful - or more appropriately, unfaithful - we are. To marry someone who does not see this is as the primary purpose of marriage makes a mockery of this sacred symbol.
So, it seems to me that time is ticking. Time is a gift from God, we must not waste it.
I didn't really want to go, actually, as Paraguay also played against Brasil for the eliminatorias for the World Cup 2010, and I'd rather have spent the entire day just enjoying the atmosphere that such an important game brings with it. But that was never going to happen, as I'd known about this wedding for weeks in advance. And in fairness, the wedding was quite nice.
I was able to watch the game in full, because it was played in the afternoon and fit in perfectly between the ceremony (morning) and reception (evening). Paraguay lost 2-1. We're in qualifying trouble now. Having had the lead for over a year, we're now in 3rd place (24 points), behind Brasil (27) and Chile (26), and in front of Argentina (22). The problem is that Ecuador (20) is now also in the hunt for a qualifying spot. And to think that at one point, only 4 months ago, we were in 1st place, 6 points ahead of 2nd place Brasil. Oh how things have changed......
Anyways, the point of today's journal entry was not fútbol. It's about the wedding I attended with Jennifer. And there's really only one point to be made: I'm finding it increasingly difficult to take us - Jennifer and I - seriously. I'm finding it more and more difficult to see us getting married and having a stable married life, for the simple reason that she and I speak different languages, when it comes to our view of the world. We have no foundation upon which to build our lives.
We speak different faith languages. She believes only in the seen: that which cannot be seen is not worth believing in. She believes in herself, she belivieves in the whims of the day. Therefore, God is not a part of her language. I cannot go along with that. To me, that seems foreign to what it means to be truly human. Believing in only that which can be seen eliminates not only God, but all the characteristics that flow from him: grace, mercy, compassion, justice, forgiveness, beauty, and most of all, faith, hope, and love! None of these things are "tangible" in a way that science demands, and yet, a world without any of these seems empty and meaningless at best, and tyrannical at worst.
Of course, Jesus Christ makes all of these qualities "tangible" in a way that no one and nothing else can. But that road, it seems, is not a road that Jennifer is willing to explore in any serious way.
And my vocational question does not make the matters any easier. In fact, it complicates them. I feel more and more compelled to work in the church "militant here on earth", as the Book of Common Prayer says it so appropriately. I cannot imagine preaching the gospel, while sleeping with the person that does not share my conviction and love for God. Not only does she not share my convictions, she despises that which I love. She hates matters of faith. And she espeically hates all things Christian. "It's irrelevant to my life", is her sentiment, "It's divisive." All this talk can't help but remind me of the title of a movie released 18 years ago: to marry her means that I would be "Sleeping with the Enemy."
To marry her would defeat the whole point of Christian marriage. Christian marriage points beyond itself, beyond the man and woman making the covenant, towards God tying the knot with humanity, and to Christ and the Church. That's why marriage is a sacrament: it points beyond itself to a much greater reality. At the core of human marraige is self-sacrificial love. Without this quality, marriage cannot last. The reason the world exists, is because of God's self-sacrificial love for humanity (exemplified in Israel in the OT); the reason we are still here is because of Christ's self-sacrificial love for the Church. He died for her, and in the process he tied her to himself in a bond that cannot be broken, no matter how faithful - or more appropriately, unfaithful - we are. To marry someone who does not see this is as the primary purpose of marriage makes a mockery of this sacred symbol.
So, it seems to me that time is ticking. Time is a gift from God, we must not waste it.
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