Highs And Lows

I woke up this morning with great enthusiasm: on the agenda was nothing less than heading towards Whistler and hike to Garibaldi Lake.  Five us - Sanjit, Alfonso, his girlfriend Marilu, Shane, and I - met at my place at 8am, we piled into my dad's SUV, and away we went. We arrived at the trail head around 10am, and began hiking shortly thereafter.

Having hiked a few times in the prairies, I must say that I really enjoy the deep forests and lush greens of BC hikes.  I also like foot paths that indicate the direction one is to go, and finally, I do like the elevation changes.  Today's hike, for example, had more or less a 1km elevation change on the 9km hike up.

Hiking the prairies has a different feel to it, with vast open skies and flat lands all around and with less up and downs.  The panorama is always vast, immense.    In a sense it also has a more "wild" aspect to it, in that trails are not set.  The ranger at Nicolle Flats told us "Go where you want to go", so in other words, there's no set trail, you can make your own trail.  That aspect has its own appeal, I imagine, but at this point, I prefer walking paths.  There's something deeply satisfying in knowing where one is to go, it gives me a clear sense of direction.  There's something very comforting in following the footsteps of others...

At places such as Garibaldi I'm always struck by the delicate interaction and balance of creation.  In the picture below, there's a tremendous amount of trust the bird places on Marilu.  As she extended her hand with a morsel of bread, the bird came and landed right on it.  He didn't stay there for long, flying off just as soon as he'd grabbed a hold of the tiny piece of bread.  And I'm sure this bird's experienced similar hospitality from other hikers and that's why he took the risk and sat on her hand, but still, witnessing these moments is awe-inspiring and beautiful.

We arrived at the top around 1pm, ate our lunch, and then around 2pm we began our descent.  We hiked 18kms in total, arriving back at the parking lot around 5:30.  Tired.  The downhill portion was especially exhausting on my legs.

While the hike was good, I admit that overall, I was a little disappointed.  The water levels were much lower than I expected, meaning that we didn't see lots of waterfalls trickling throughout the hike; in particular, the big waterfall that I saw last year just upon arrival at the lake, was non-existent.  Furthermore, the colour of the water wasn't that rich teal either (I know, could it be any worse!?).  And overall, the hike just didn't have the same feeling of fulfillment as last year's did.  Not sure why.

In the evening Alfonso and Marilu extended great hospitality to us and invited us over for dinner.  Shane didn't come, but Sanjit and I went over and we had a nice evening of food and wine.

I managed to mess up what was otherwise a decent day, by visiting Jennifer at the end of the evening.  My intentions were good: I went in peace.  But I got derailed, badly.  Accusations.  Bitterness.  Anger.  Even judgment.  All towards her.  And as so often happens when you judge another person, you feel judged yourself.  Scales are lifted from your eyes and you're given a taste of your own hypocrisy; your own self-deception and self-righteousness is revealed to you. Self-accusations and self-hatred follow shortly afterwards.  Judging another person never accomplishes what we think it will.  It always leaves us feeling alienated: from the person, from ourselves, and from God.

So, what I accomplished this evening was alienation.  I felt low.  And I think I will feel low for a few days.   

Mi tristeza no tiene fin.