Spiritual Direction

Over the past couple of years I've contemplated the idea of getting a spiritual director.  Someone who will journey with me, accompany me in my pilgrimage towards heaven.

Spiritual Direction is not really a part of the ecclesial tradition I grew up in, and this tradition is the less for it.  Regardless, my inner pain has exploded and overwhelmed me this past year to an extent that is hard to put into words.  Life has become a stream of desolation.  I find it hard to distinguish up from down, light from dark, good from bad, right from wrong.

This reality has prompted me to intensify my search for such a companion, and thanks be to God, because after a number of emails and phone calls with a number of directors, I found someone I'm going to begin meeting regularly with.

Yesterday was my first meeting.  I was in such spiritual agony at the beginning of our visit that I just about burst into tears.  I had to concentrate really hard while speaking, so as to prevent myself from breaking down.  It was an exercise in self control.  But at the same time, even though I can't explain how or why, I felt a tremendous sense of relief (something perhaps akin to an unloading of burdens) throughout our visit.

I'm mildly optimistic about our future encounters.  Going forward, we will meet the 3rd Saturday of each month.