In Sobrado With Jennifer

I slept surprisingly well last night: I missed vigilias and laudes.

We ate breakfast at 9am.  As usual, tostadas were on the menu, as well as café con leche.  But rather than eating the bread with honey, I ate it with the wonderful homemade jams on offer.  There were 2 varieties available, strawberry and orange.  The strawberry jam in particular was out-of-this-world good!

After breakfast Jennifer had a one-track mind: washing and drying laundry.  How annoying.

Outside the weather was dark, wet and rainy, a suitable image for how I felt inside my heart: down, grey, and sad.

Nevertheless, after the laundry was done we took time to walk around the grounds of the monastery and take pictures.

We took some pictures inside the massive church.  The church is actually not in use, it's just too big to maintain for the (approximately) 15 monks who live here.  At first I was sad at the decrepit, damp, and mossy interior of the church.  But afterwards I learned that only +/-50 years ago the entire monastery lay ruined, entirely overgrown by ivy, and that it was a group of monks who came back and reclaimed the monastic grounds from their ruined state.  This lifted my spirits. 

Below is a picture of one of the 2 courtyards of the monastery.

For lunch we stayed at the monastery.  We had lentejas, a lentil soup, which was amazingly good.  After the soup they brought out pasta, which was equally good.  Red wine was served with the food.

Shortly before noon, the sun came out, so we went out and took some pictures of not only the monastery but also the town.

At 3:15 I said goodbye to Jennifer.  Strange.  Just before she left, I said to her that I'd miss her, and I asked if she would miss me.  Her response was a typical Jennifer response: "I don't know."  Cold.  Factual.  Concise.  It reminded me of when we first began going out a few years ago when I asked her why she liked me and she responded "I don't know."

So here I am.  Alone.  With a bunch of celibate men.  The difference is that they've chosen their way of life, and I haven't.  They've consecrated their bodies to God, and I spend my time and energy wondering how to be thankful for my lot in life.  I was miserable for the rest of the day.

I'll be staying here another day, and continue my Camino on the 10th.  I've liked the Camino immensely, but given the intense physicality of it - the pain, the exhaustion - I didn't think I'd yearn to continue walking instead of resting another day here.  And yet, here I am, wishing that I could continue walking tomorrow. Actually, I'm so restless in spirit that I could pack up my stuff right now and go.  But I can't.  I just can't.  I will instead spend tomorrow soul-searching and continue walking the next day.

I attended visperas and completas in the evening.  The Compline service at 9pm, honouring the blessed virgin Mary, is most beautiful.

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of the Living God, have Mercy on me, a Sinner!