Gingerless

A memorable weekend; but for all the wrong reasons...

I just arrived back from Winnipeg this afternoon around 6pm, having been storm stayed there overnight.  I never thought this would happen, but I can now say that I've slept in a Motel 6!  I left the windy city around 2pm, but by the time I got to the edge of the city not 30 minutes later, travelling on the #1 was virtually impossible.  The wind was fierce, a whiteout was on, the gates were brought down to block highway access, and a police patrol car was parked in front of it.  There was no way I'd get through...

I promptly turned back and went to a restaurant for a drink, hoping that the wind would subside, but by the time 5pm rolled around the wind showed no signs of letting up, and the road was as blocked as ever.  I checked into the motel, texted my friend Alison, my staff member, and my boss, letting them know that I wouldn't be at work today.  Yay .. sort of, I guess.

Instead of driving I watched tennis on tv.  I read.  I had intentions to go to the hot tub for a bit, but my willpower lost out to the soft feel of my bed.   I became pensive.  I thought, and I thought a lot.

My soul was heavy because a few hours ago I'd told gingersnaps that I didn't think we were a good fit.  Somehow, over the past few weeks, my interest in her dropped dramatically, and consequently, calling things off just felt like the right thing to do.  Our time together the past few days were amicable but distant, a shocking 180 degree turn for me, from a short month ago when I couldn't get enough of her smile and her voice.  I didn't think this would happen.  I even bought a damn cellphone to keep in touch with her (what do I do with it now!).  This, after resisting the pressure to "get connected" for close to 10 years!
 

I'm not devastated.  Actually, I listened to my gut feeling and acted accordingly, and I take that as a good thing.  My gut is most often right.  I am relieved and at peace now.

But I'm troubled by my fickleness and indecision.  And I'm troubled by the pain that I've caused to a very good woman.

While there this past weekend, we went snowshoeing, and had dinner together with her friends.  The highlight, of all things, was a trip to an Italian deli store, where I spent $80 on cheese, prosciutto, sausages, alfredo sauce, focaccia bread, balsamic vinegar, and coffee.

So there it is.  Three trips to the windy city, and now I'm back to square one.

I can't wait to vacation in Mexico....