Unequals

St. Paul says in 2 Corinthians 6:14: Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?

For most of my life, this verse has always implied a command to marry someone who shares my values.  But given my experience in the past few years, where my best friend was someone who not only rejects my faith, but embraces non-belief in God, I am becoming increasingly dissatisfied with my theological conclusions.

Are Paul's words a command, or are they a call to Wisdom?  (Is there a difference between the two)?

What about God's command for Hosea to marry the prostitute?  How, if at all, does that text relate to St. Paul's?

What about the positive lived experience of so many couples who were, in Paul's language, unequally yoked?

Church history: didn't many converts in the early church come from marriages where at least one person (usually the man) wasn't a believer?

Does marrying someone outside my faith imply a lack of God's blessing in the future?  Am I limiting God's blessing upon me?

And what about everyday compatibility?  I hate the language of compatibility, but the truth is that we are attracted to some people and not to others.  Should not this factor dictate to a certain extent who we should pursue and who we shouldn't?

And then there's within-faith relationships built almost entirely on adherence to idealism.  These ideals are often abstract, doctrinal, easily rubbed out in the concreteness of daily life.  Witness to this is the current divorce rate within the church.

These are some of the questions that I have on my mind, and which I have posed to faith-filled people in my life.  The responses I've received have been surprising.

I still feel very connected to my best friend of the past 4 years.